Posts: 104
From: usa
Registered: Jul 2009

posted April 12, 2005 12:41 AM            

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Do you find that others look to you for soothing and support? How often do you receive the same level of support back?

I can't figure out if it's just me or not. I tend to attract people, even friends, who are not confident or need a lot of reassurance. Even those who start out as seemingly strong, open up to me about way too much and want reassurance.

There's nothing wrong with it, just it's draining and I never feel as though I get the same support back. Are other Taurus & Cancers experiencing the same thing?

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posted April 12, 2005 01:04 AM              

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Yes, I've experienced this for a long time....maybe forever. I also have Cancer on the DC so I attract those types even more.

I think it's because Taureans are so calm, level headed and down to earth, nothing shocks us, and people feel they can open right up. We are loyal and devoted friends and people feel comfortable coming to us when they need a shoulder to cry on or for someone just to sit and listen to them.

Cancers and Tauruses are very nurturing signs and people sense that and open right up.

Yes, it can get draining but I also kind of take it as a compliment. And I will agree with you in that I dont feel I get the same type of emotional support back. I think people figure we are so strong that we dont need the same things they do sometimes. Because on the outside we can seem calm and as if everything is fine. People come crying to us but arent around when we need someone. I've had that happen alot in my life. But we're the strong ones and it just makes you more self-reliant, which can be a good thing.

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Posts: 95
From:
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posted April 12, 2005 02:42 AM            

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Its true! Like I said earlier in my ranting post....
Taurus is stiff as a boulder, but if you're down she'll be your shoulder

Taurus always seems so calm and together, I wonder sometime if they're like that on the inside. Talking to a relaxed taurus can sometimes be like communicating with mother nature herself, you realize that everything is just existing, peace is the default state, and that we are truly blessed with material prosperity

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Posts: 104
From: usa
Registered: Jul 2009

posted April 12, 2005 09:17 AM            

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Thank you 26taurus,
I have a taurus sun with cancer rising and agree nurturing others has been a lifelong experience. You are right, I have become self-reliant. However I do wish there was someone in my life I could usually count on though. Maybe I just need a wilderness vacation to recharge my earth mother batteries, lol.

Blue Roamer,
Personally, I am very calm on the inside. But there are days when I need someone to count on, someone to give back the same I give out to so many, and when that doesn't happen it can be hurtful. Glad you have a taurus to count on, we rock!

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posted April 13, 2005 11:31 AM              

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OK - here's me for what it's worth. First of all, Libra's prefer harmony and peace, and we are willing to mediate to help people along. Add to that -

Asc in Taurus
Moon in Cancer
Venus in Virgo in the 4th
Neptune in Scorpio in the 6th
South Node (SN) & Midheaven (MC) in Aquarius
Chiron in Pisces in the 10th

HELLO!

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posted April 14, 2005 09:23 AM              

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yup always felt unsatisfied in relation , any relation .
i always need more .

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posted April 18, 2005 11:47 AM              

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cancerrg -

Do you ever try to follow the rule of "emptying your cup because it's already so full?"

That's a good rule, I think. Especially for anyone with strong Cancer influences (I don't think there's such a thing as a SOFT Cancer influence). If not reminded of this, we might sit there feeling unneeded and shy. But it's often easier said than done. The Moon is on a monthly schedule.

And what's especially so difficult is that Cancers don't bounce back quickly after being hurt. So - just TRY to convince us to touch that hot stove again!

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posted April 18, 2005 02:28 PM              

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I dont know how relevant this is but I allso have Taurus asc and cancer moon.I know exactly waht you mean.I seem to attract a lot of people who are extremely shy,conservative and deeply manipulative.I am a happy go lucky person myself I sometimes wonder why I dont attract people like myself!!!

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Posts: 104
From: usa
Registered: Jul 2009

posted April 19, 2005 02:46 AM            

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That is so true Gert,

I am very easy going, yet the people in my life just always need something or have an issue. It would really help if they would give some of the love and caring back.
Recently, I have been dating a taurus who has experienced the same issues and we have both hit the near end of being able to give to those who are just takers.

Good thing is, at least we have each other to lean on and relate the crazy stories to, plus he cooks so.

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Posts: 191
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posted April 19, 2005 04:31 AM            

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I have Cancer on the DC too. I find (even though im not a taurus) i can get emotionally drained by some people. I guess my Saggie optimism keeps me from drowning sometimes. Nevetheless I love Cancers, they have a great sense of humour...oh and because my DC is Cancer would that make them more comfortable for me?

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posted May 03, 2005 03:31 PM              

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_____________________________________________Do you ever try to follow the rule of "emptying your cup because it's already so full?"
_____________________________________________

astro junkie: are u talking about the emotional vent that we cancers neeed .
if its that ( sorry i didn't really understood u) i feel i always need someone and thank god i have my mom and sis's ( though they live in other end of india )
actually i was discussing this today with a scorp friend . i was quite frustated today ( the cancer mood reversals i belive)so i sat with him for an hour though i am not very close to him , venting out my emotions . i am cancer-sun, taurus -moon,huh! tell u one more thing once i vent, sometime i feel weak infront of ppl like this scorp ( he is the kind that mutable is discussing in one of her threads) does this happen with everyone or is it the taurean inferiority complex in me?

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Posts: 1
From: Brisbane, Australia
Registered: May 2009

posted May 03, 2005 03:44 PM            

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quote:

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nurturing others has been a lifelong experience. You are right, I have become self-reliant. However I do wish there was someone in my life I could usually count on though.

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quote:

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Libra's prefer harmony and peace, and we are willing to mediate to help people along

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Ok, I feel a bit d'oh about this, but I have Cancer rising, Libra Moon, and I guess it never occurred to me why I tended to feel like everyone leans on me and I have no one to lean on. I guess I just beat myself up about it and never understood it...I tend to focus on all the Scorp in my chart that I guess I've neglected the other aspects.

I do think people latch on to Taurus' and Cancers...the Taurus' and Cancers I know often feel resentful and used...people do gravitate to them in their times of need...the sad thing is, in their time of need they're often on their own, especially the Cancers, because usally what they need when they're low is just someone to empathize with them, and it seems the very people that come to them for support can't give that kind of support in return.

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posted May 04, 2005 04:00 AM              

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the Taurus' and Cancers I know often feel resentful and used...
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isis: cancers are tha most used , no doubt .

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posted May 04, 2005 04:07 AM              

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...people do gravitate to them in their times of need...the sad thing is, in their time of need they're often on their own, especially the Cancers, because usally what they need when they're low is just someone to empathize with them, and it seems the very people that come to them for support can't give that kind of support in return.

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ISIS: it has somethig to do with thier expectations also , it often works as negative . a cancer belives anyone very quickly and with faith comes thier expectatons so i think it becomes quite difficult for others to fulfill it , one more thing they dont shy away from helping someone in the best of thier capacity , that too creates problem. thier is positive side to it , they are able to make friends with great scorps with thier great suspicion (lol), isn't it , this the logic behin cancerand scorps normally being on the same wavelength.

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posted May 04, 2005 05:02 AM              

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beebuddy=born under crab sun, bull moon, scorp asc.

i have found that people often confide in me, sometimes going so far as to "confess their sins" to me. ive never understood it and it used to be draining (esp. with neptune in 1st house).

i have found that honesty is extremely important. the empathetic/sympathetic nurturing urge can lead to a feeling of "responsibility" for peoples feelings. the danger is the illusion that we are the one hurting the person by not allowing them to drain us. crabs need to learn to be realistic about what they can and cant do for someone.

that said, feelings of being "used" because others dont offer us the same comforts we offer, are a manifestation of the illusion stated above. and ironically, what makes us crabs the saddest is that no one comes to us in our times of sadness! its ludicrous really, especially considering that we tend to withdraw rather than ask for help.

the only person ive met that offered what was needed and never asked for was a scorp.

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posted May 04, 2005 07:18 AM              

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Yeah, I agree. I think it's the self-pitying nature that drives cancerians all the way over. I've cancer rising and my moon falls into the 11th house of friends. So most of the time I try to help as many friends as possible. But i think it's a bad habit that needs to be checked. It's kinda like an over-protective mother (like my Taurean mom). Sometimes, I think we as cancerians need to let go. Helping another can be an obsession, an addiction. Plus a pisces sun, it really can't be helped not to help another sometimes... most of the times actually
So a little discipline is all we need, I guess, in order not to over-help and build up unrealitic expectations (from others and ourselves) at the same time.

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day n nite
luv n lite
wen i c u
il b alrite...

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posted May 04, 2005 03:15 PM              

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cancerrg -

What that quote about the cup being full is this - that if you wallow in self-pity, you feel you have no good way to "mother" the world. Your self-esteem feels bruised. It's very easy for Cancer influenced people to feel their emotions so vividly, that it IS reality, and sometimes we have trouble seeing beyond our own noses.

To think of your cup as being full allows you to give even though you feel like you've nothing left to give. That's the premise.

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posted May 05, 2005 04:31 AM              

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So a little discipline is all we need
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f.neko : could u plz elobrate on it or suggest some simple measures to start with .
i am frustrated of being emotionally drenched all the time , are we really the only one to be so?

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posted May 05, 2005 04:35 AM              

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To think of your cup as being full allows you to give even though you feel like you've nothing left to give. That's the premise.

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aj: do u think thereis apractical way out for this. i said practical , something that u think we cancers would be able to do.

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posted May 07, 2005 11:13 AM              

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sg -
were u talking of this ?

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posted May 07, 2005 07:22 PM              

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yes cancerrg,

Love
SG

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posted May 08, 2005 07:07 AM              

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sg : yaha par kya?

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posted May 08, 2005 01:20 PM              

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cancerrg:

I think cancer's need to help the needed is like drugs you know. You get addicted doing it. I don't specifically got any idea how we can "cure" this addiction...

P/S: Come to think about it, I just recalled my past principle/motto - "cure with care"!!

...but over time I've learned to control my urge to JUST help another. Now I dont SIMPLY help anybody out. I rasionalize things out. Here's a real life example about us cancer:

Like when I was small, often when we went to supermarkets, we'd bumped into beggars on the stairs. I always urged my dad (a sagi) to give some money to the beggars (basic cancer instinct). But know what? Sometimes he said no. I didnt understand at that age but now I do. You see, there are people who can work but prefer to beg so it's not like we should just spoon-feed them. So we've to rationalize. Be picky.

Help only those really in need but not everybody.
Be realistic on who we can help and who we cant.

~Hope that helps~

------------------
day n nite
luv n lite
wen i c u
il b alrite...

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Posts: 104
From: usa
Registered: Jul 2009

posted May 09, 2005 01:15 AM            

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As a Taurus sun and Leo moon w/ Cancer rising, I do not try to help everyone. The people in my life that I do help are very important to me, like my Mother who is just needy in a "demanding" scorpio way and a close friend who is also needy in a "i need to know i am valued" virgo way.

It's just shame the two I give the most to; give it back in, what i deem, small quantities. In actuality, I know this is all they have to give, can give, because they also spend a lot of time on inner issues & self-doubts, whatever. I think that is the difference, I value myself, so not too much doubting inner monologue. My Mother needs her ego stroked and my friend needs to know she is worth something. So in all I don't mind. Although, in a partner I do hope to find someone who will give as good as they get.

p.s., I just came to this realization not that long ago. I figure Taureans can be judgemental, there is no reason to expect back what you give out. My new motto is, give what i like to and stop when i don't. rather cut and dry, but not when you realize i give at least 80-100% every time. ...new personal philosophy.

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posted May 09, 2005 02:35 AM              

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f.neko: i think understanding about the "giving thing" is quite as mine . ya , helping is an addiction to us and i too am learning the ways of the world .
i'll give u one of my ways of helping some one needy . i usually buy things from small shops rather than big ones because i feel if my purchase can do some good to someione , why not the one who is more needy . logic! but of course i wont do this if the smaller one is overcharging me or something .

running. b.- i have just gone through this bull exp. thanku for making me understand it better.

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