posted April 12, 2005 03:50 PM            

Because of the way I've been feeling recently, can anyone tell me if this is the cause?

I'm only 14, can't have sex yet... I feel very empty... sort of unfulfilled.
I think about dodgier stuff way more than my friends. They're not especially immature for their age.
It crops up in my head almost as much as if I were a guy.
I get sort of uncomfortable when I see guys 'with' their girlfriends- terrible jealousy.
Actually, I'm not delving into this any further, but I haven't ever had a boyfriend, (i go to a girl's school too, which sucks).
Oh, and when I fancy guys, it's not like a 'stupid puppy love adoring' thing or even a love thing, it's a lust thing primarily.

Don't know.... of course this could just all be because I'm a teenager

..?

posted April 12, 2005 05:51 PM              

During my childhood, I also remember being very fascinated by the mysteries of life. I enjoyed visiting the library just so that I could read books on heaven, hell, spirits, demons, aliens, astrology, etc. In addition, I was very secretive about my adventures to the library. I never wanted my mother, nor anyone else for that matter, to know what I was really up to.

posted April 13, 2005 08:49 AM              

My Sun, Mars and Jupiter are in the 8th house...Gem for the first two and Cancer for Jup. (Scorp rising)

You are soooooo young!!! Not to worry... Curiosity is healthy.

Expression through sex is important, however, expressing it just to express it may also give you an empty feeling...maybe even worse!

There are many other factors that need to be met first (I believe) in order to honor the Sun in the 8th expression through sex. The mysteries of life, sex, occult are interesting persuasions in the 8th house. Read up on Tantric sex. Definitely take your time...I mean really take your time when it comes to engaging in sex. You are in no rush at your age.

It is OK if many girls your age do not discuss it-sexual thoughts can still be a bit 'taboo' in your early teens. Enjoy thinking about it...I do often...even dream about it all the time. It is my secret...so relax about your thoughts and realize it does not mean you are weird or driven in an abnormal way...just remember it is not always necessary (or required) to act on these thoughts...consider it a 'sacred' part of you and reserve it for ONLY the most deserving...and THAT person may take a while to find--you will find him, just try not to be in a hurry!!

Dream sweet dreams in the meanwhile!

posted April 13, 2005 09:54 AM              

Oy, my soon to be 14 yr. old son, has his sun in the 8th also. Taurus Sun, Pisces Moon, Virgo Asc., Venus Cancer...........I'm trying to get him interested in Astrology, etc., I maybe should work harder, haha..(no sex, no sex, no sex) especially if he is inclined.

Man, there sure are alot of loaded 8th housers here, I have N.Node, Venus, Merc.,Sun & Pluto conj. in the 8th......well, I guess it would stand to reason, occult matters.

Ms TMNF-I've re-written this post so many times as I can't seem to find the words without sounding like a mom. My apology....I guess what I want to say is that I think you are very mature for your age... a lot of the emptiness, restlessness has to do with your age, but perhaps it has to do with your 8th house Sun too....I don't know, I just remember being very much like that when I was your age. Think about keeping a journal....write....it will do wonders....I have letters I wrote when I was your age, I think I was more mature then than I am now. Anyways, see if you can try it for a couple weeks. Its easy for me to suggest but very hard for me to do. Buuuuuuut, when I do, I can see a difference.

posted April 13, 2005 01:05 PM            

Thank you noreenz, yes I'm a Virgo! How did you possibly tell LOL?
Oh, and yes, ok, not 'can't' have sex yet! But the chances of me getting to have sex before I'm 21 is laughable. The girls school factor reaaalllly doesn't help .

You're right though. Sometimes I resent my age so much because of the limitations. I feel trapped. The worse thing is the patronising from older guys. And they're not remotely interested in you because 'you're a kid'. I don't feel like I am mentally, although obviously I do act my age sometimes. But sometimes I get carried away and then get so angry when I realise that I'm just 14. I tried writing a journal once, when I was 10, but it wasn't very consistant. Besides, I don't like the idea of all my emotions being written down on paper. I like my privacy.

suzyque, you are right about depth thing. I don't think I would enjoy sex if it wasn't right. I'm a Virgo too, hence, a bit of a perfectionist... so it wouldn't be enjoyable without mental stimulation (Gemini Mars) too.

posted April 13, 2005 07:07 PM              

Virgo Sun in the 8th house.. I really don't know if that has anything to do with what you're going through...just sounded good.

Yea, the sex thing, you'll know when the time is right. Guys your age are probably way too immature and yes, you are right, the older guys probably think you are too young. Gah, I wrote a poem when I was your age.....I wish I could remember it....I have it someone, but it had to do with the restless-ness, wanting power.

posted April 14, 2005 08:16 AM              

The Mutable Night Force, I can remember being your age as if it were yesterday! (Not that I'm ancient- I'm only 24!). But I must say that those teen years were incredibly difficult, the most difficult years of my life. I too felt empty. But now I can see that things will pass, eventually. Things could have been easier if I only had the light to see how.....

I felt like an adult at 14, and couldn't stand anyone older patronising me. I couldn't stand people telling me I should 'wait'. How should I know how long I should wait for? I had been searching for 'the One' all my short, but long life- it was time to stop deluding myself, I decided, back then. Now I wish I could go back and tell my former self how narrow-minded I was, and what a big place the world is. I feel sad that I waisted such a precious thing on unevolved, lower beings, if you get me? So, in this respect, it is better to wait. Wait for someone who deserves you, who you feel an inexplicable, unshakable karmic bond with. Good sex isn't about experience- it's about WHO your with. Then when you've found that person, it's about learning to let go- free youself with them.

It's perfectly normal to think about sex as a teenager. We all mature at different ages as teenagers, so I firmly believe it is wrong to compare. However, try not to torment yourself so much! It makes it easier to take your mind off something which would be beneficial to you to wait for. So, til then try and think about other things.....

I don't know whether that helps(?).

I've just gone back and checked my chart details, and I also have Jupiter and Saturn in my eigth house! I feel their force!

posted April 15, 2005 07:17 AM              

As for loneliness, I understand this completely. But you're never alone really- it's only an illusion. Still, it would be nice to have someone really physically there, I know. It's only a matter of Time. Time seems to take forever. If you can try and see Time in a different light, and for now live in the moment- appreciate the good things in the present (it goes back to that old saying- Is the cup half full or half empty?). This may help. I know I've always struggled with Time. I feel ancient! I only wish I hadn't waisted Time in the past feeling sorry for myS-elf; there were so many things I could have done which would have helped me now.

'Yesterday is history
Tomorrow is a mystery
The future is a gift-
That's why we call it The Present'