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Author Topic:   Typical Aqua?
Sunny Mavericks
unregistered
posted May 01, 2005 01:56 PM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Okay, first of all, I don't know what's up with Aquarius guys but DAMN! Sexy stuff.

Okay, so my question is if it's normal for Aquas to talk about their exes all the time and rehash memories and get really hurt from them? He was with this girl for two and a half years and they broke up four months ago and I've been with him for two months now and he's still talking to her which I totally don't care about, but then he gets all sad and calls me to talk about it and it makes me feel like he's not over her. And then he talks about stuff they used to do together, and "oh, we ate here last time I was in this city, and I had a veggie wrap because she's vegetarian and she had soup..." So at first I tried to be understanding and not say anything about it because I was like well, he was with her for a long time. He says he's got no feeling for her anymore, but then why does he get all butthurt when she dates other guys and stuff? And how long will this go on? I told him not to talk to me about her unless it's recent. Like, only talk about her when she calls him on the phone and upsets him, but no reminiscing with me. If he's going to do that, do that silently or to someone else. He hasn't, but he still talks to her and gets jealous and stuff and it totally bothers me.

I can handle this if it won't go on forever, but I need some assurance from another Aqua around here that he probably is over her and that this is normal behavior. I read in Love Signs that they never forget their first love. I don't think she was his first love, I think this other girl was, and he still talks to her too, and gets upset by her too, but it's nearly as bad as with this girl. The first time I went to his house he had pictures of her on his bathroom mirror and I didn't know what to say and he was like, "Oh my God, I should have taken those down, I'm SO sorry, I don't even see them anymore, those pictures have been there for so long." It's weird that he still has her stuff around.

So what do you guys think? This is normal right? Or is he really not over her? I understand four months isn't really a lot of time to get over someone that you were with for so long and during major events in your life, but I don't think that he should be THIS hurt about it still. And is it possible for them to be with someone else when they are still in this phase of the breakup?

Any insight please...

Sunny

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Secret Garden
unregistered
posted May 01, 2005 03:01 PM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Well sunny ,

havent seen you around here before, so hi and welcome from my side

im not an aqua but am seeing an aqua currently. this guy is nothing like what you described. but i think it may have to do with virgo and scorpio influences in his chart...he has a virgo stellium , sun and moon in aqua but aquas ruler (uranus) is in scorpio, making some crazy aspects here and there. he does not at all talk about exes....in fact i have to squeeze information from him about them. lol. i once asked him how many girls hes seen and hes like umm a lot i guess. then i asked him if he ever loved anyone and he said no i dont really think so... and then i asked him how many girls he had a physical relationship with and he told me four.

that was the sum total that hes mentioned about his exes--perhaps not even twenty words. he never lets me feel left out....except when hes busy and i feel ignored, but it has nothing whatsoever to do with exes.

i would suggest two things:

1. look at his chart extensively, other planetary influences, aspects, and signs.

2. mention your exes with him subtley and casually and see what his reaction is. i said this to lovely lioness in her gem thread: air men can be detached and have a hard time expressing emotions, but they do get jealous and possessive easily.

u didnt mention what your sign is? maybe he is not trying to pine after her but there is some miscommunication going on? sometimes that can happen between air and water signs... thats where ive had the most miscommunication problems in the past as an air sign (Gem).

Well if you can, go to www.astro.com and post your charts here,

Love
SG

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BlueTopaz124
Knowflake

Posts: 207
From: Portland, OR, USA
Registered: Apr 2009

posted May 01, 2005 09:29 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for BlueTopaz124     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
There is no typical Aquarius. Just get to know him. Talk to him and find out his values and trust what he says about it. It's when you try to pin him down that he won't like.

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sthenri
unregistered
posted May 01, 2005 09:47 PM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I haven't had a problem with Aquarius men in terms of faithfulness, but I usually use this approach. And yes, mine do talk to and about their exes all the time. I say I can date other men, if you are not exclusive, or I can date you, which is it going to be, because I have needs too. And my life is not all about you, I am with you for a certain purpose, and I need to know so I can arrange my time and life, don't keep me hanging on.

He would appreciate the honesty, and if he starts to feel pressed then say, if you feel pressed maybe we can just hang out as friends, but I won't see anyone else until you know what you want. I say this because I need to know if I ought to go looking, but I really don't want to, because I stick to one man when I am interested.

That way he knows i am really into the long term thing, it's not just about attraction and that I will be there for a long time, and that I am looking for a relationship, not to be a therapist.

So, yes Aqua men always have lots of talking going on, but it's talk, you can stop it if you are tactful and he is testing you in that he wants to know if you are the same type of girl or not. It may seem obvious that you are not, but he needs reassurance badly.

If you treat him like an insecure man who really deep down wants a long term exclusive relationship than you will be fine. If you confront him and he doesn't want that with you, he will tell you honestly. Unless there is some aspect that really stands out regarding dishonesy, I am not prone to suspecting Aqua men unless the Sun is square or opposite Pluto, or Pluto is on the Descendant, than he many need to control his partner. Take a look at his chart and watch his Pluto, and be sure to see the progressed chart.

What you are talking about is very subjective, and personal, but the softness you are describing is not exactly macho behaviour but it's charming and sweet. How hard edged do you like your men? He has a soft spot for his ex, which means he will be soft with you too.

what about your feelings on him as a person, aside from his ex? Do you want to be special, different from her in some way, then maybe there is something about her that bothers you, besides the fact that she's always in his mind. Maybe she's like you in some way and you think he is substituting? In that case, how strong are your feelings for him, and are you attracted? If you are really attracted push hard for his attention and ask for an evaluation of his feelings so far, and if you don't get the answer you want in those five minutes, then make the decision to back off and be his friend until he cleans up the mess with the ex. He has a lot of clean up to do,

Recently I did this with a man I was very attracted to and it hurt, but he was still not over his ex and we are friends. He wont' date anyone else either, because he bugs women with his issues. If you can't hang out with him and be non flirty, then wait for him to call you. I tend to believe that's the case because you said sexy stuff in the first sentence so you don't see him as a friend.

He would most likely use you to get over her if you got intimate and it will be on his mind, so i would say 100% be his friend and let him call you, unless he has already made motions to be exclusive to you. Your future is your own, but not if you put your power in his ex's hands.

Good Luck,
Natasha
Taurus
Cancer Moon

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Sunny Mavericks
unregistered
posted May 04, 2005 08:42 PM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Secret Garden:

Hello, I used to frequent the boards but stopped around September. Merry meet! Thanks for your advice. I'm still not that great with analyzing a chart, I can only do planets and houses, not really any of the aspects yet, but he has pisces in mars and aqua in venus, moon in aries, and a libra ascendant. Mercury in Capricorn. If Aquarius' really are that sentimental, then his aqua in venus would explain that one.

As to what else you said, I have already talked to him about my relationship history. We did a mutual exchange one night so he got to ask whatever he wanted and so did I. But I didn't think that it would continue after that night. The whole ex talk thing.

BlueTopaz and Sthenri:

I am a scorpio so that probably has a lot to do with it. Although, I have never been jealous or possessive before and I've never been emotional before, so I don't know why this bothers me when usually I don't think that it would. But this guy has me hooked much more than I've ever been and that just makes it all worse. I've got the scorpio intrigued thing going on.

I guess I'll just wait for it to pass. He's gotten so much better about not talking about her unless it's for an appropriate reason, so I guess I can hang in there. I have no other choice, this guy is too amazing for me to even compare other guys to, though I've tried, dating other people just doesn't work right now. So I have to make thing work out with this Aqua. He and I have talked about our feelings together, but as detached as you would imagine a scorp and an aqua could be- both of us prying without giving anything up in return. We'll just have to work on our communication.

Thanks for your input everyone, I was mainly just wondering how common it was of Aquarius men.

Sunny

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Tranquil Poet
unregistered
posted May 04, 2005 08:56 PM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
The aquarius guy I dated for a while....before I scared him off with my possessiveness would talk about his ex's also. About how 2 of them attacked him with a knife. I guess they were more possessive then I am LOL.

He even showed me the scars.

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DayDreamer
unregistered
posted May 04, 2005 10:11 PM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I'm an Aquarian girl...And I will never forget my first love. But I am long over him. And I dont compare him to other guys...Well I do sometimes...he was Hot!!! An Aries Sun/Mars with Libra Moon and lots of Pisces!! LOL...hahahahaha...anyways...I havent said that in years...But still he lacked other qualities that I have found in other guys.

I personally wouldnt take it if my guy kept talking about his ex...there would come a sudden point where I would confront him about this...and if I find he still struggles to get his ex off his mind, out of his heart and and out of the convo...thehn I would end things asap. Four months, I would say he is still on the rebound.

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