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Author
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Topic: When you hurt a Cancer's feelings...
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Battle of Evermore
Newflake Posts: 0
From:
Registered: Dec 2010
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posted July 14, 2005 10:18 PM
  
What do you do? I feel like such an insensitive jerk. I was poking fun at him, whice I guess went too far...I didn't mean it in a mean way, but I guess it came out that way. I didn't even think of the effect it would have on a Cancer Sun, Pisces Moon person. I'm not used to people being so sensitive. When I'm around a Cancer, everything Leo comes out in me...I don't know why... He said I was mean to him, and was absoloutely serious about it. That made me feel so guilty, I wanted to bury my head in a hole in the ground. I apologised, but I still feel aweful about it!So the question is, how do you let a Cancer know you are really sorry? Also, how should I go about treading more lightly around his feelings?  IP: Logged |
Bluemoon
unregistered
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posted July 14, 2005 11:21 PM
just tell him, honestly, how sorry you are. Presents are nice too. Like candy!!
I am easy to appologize to. cancer:Aqua:Aries IP: Logged |
sue g
unregistered
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posted July 15, 2005 07:24 AM
Hi Battle,I would send him a note and a small gift. When it is in writing, it seems to go deeper, I feel, and he can keep it and remember what a humble friend he has! Good luck xx IP: Logged |
maroon_flower
unregistered
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posted July 15, 2005 08:53 AM
Your complete honesty in apologizing ... He would sense it in your words.And lotsa nice yummy food.. the kind he likes and a nice gift.. just so He'd be reminded how extremely special you think He is. But, all in all.. be prepared for a bit of brooding and moodiness.. its probably his way of healing. And Love is an amazing healer! * Perhaps you both have learnt something from this experience...  IP: Logged |
GemStar
unregistered
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posted July 15, 2005 10:52 AM
SINCERELY Apologize and acknowledge your insensitivity to his feelings....that you will make a true effort not to hurt him again....emphasizing that your hurtful teasing at his expense was 'unintentional'....we Cancer folk (Me-Cancer Moon, Jupiter and Mercury) can get confused regarding someone being 'intentional' with their words...sometimes Everything feels intentional...it is hard for Cancer to distinguish the difference at times....It ALL hurts the same when we get hurt by someone-no matter how big or small!(tears...sniff-sniff)...gotta appreciate the crab in everyone...they teach each of US to be MORE Sensitive to one another... Even though you were 'snapped' at....give him a bit of space....he will heal himself...and will 'remember' your sincere apology. It helps him heal faster.... Hugs-
GemStar IP: Logged |
The Mutable Night Force
Knowflake Posts: 124
From: England
Registered: Oct 2009
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posted July 15, 2005 12:52 PM
BoE, I don't even want to think about it, lol! It makes me sad  Eh, maybe that's just because I might....*love*... one.Hmmm......  if I were in your position I would try everything. If a normal heartfelt apology doesn't work (which he might say 'It's OK' to, but not mean it)... then maybe you should try a more tender approach....
For some bizarre reason, the idea of writing him a song popped into my head. I'm not seriously suggesting it... but if you were in a film, that's what you'd do! With your guitar too! An apology song! Neat  Although it might not work in real life.
I agree with Bluemoon, sue g, and maroon_flower and GemStar. A present isn't a bad idea. IP: Logged |
cancerrg
Newflake Posts: 0
From:
Registered: Sep 2012
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posted July 15, 2005 01:55 PM
be tender and bring up the topic again , let him vent out whatever he has to say and the most important thing , dont ever even unintentionally snap him .b'cos its the first time , he might forgive very easily(though -he will always reember ) but if its done again . then ........ ...... U KNOW WHAT I WANT TO SAY . ah, and sue's idea is quite good but dont try mnf's one ! IP: Logged |
The Mutable Night Force
Knowflake Posts: 124
From: England
Registered: Oct 2009
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posted July 16, 2005 10:09 AM
Well, thanks cancerrg!
Wouldn't you like a 'sorry' song written for you?? IP: Logged |
MoonDuchess88
unregistered
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posted July 16, 2005 10:15 AM
Well everyone has given you great advice!  All these things would work!   IP: Logged |
cancerrg
Newflake Posts: 0
From:
Registered: Sep 2012
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posted July 16, 2005 10:39 AM
quote:
Wouldn't you like a 'sorry' song written for you??
UMM, well if u write that , i'll sure accept it but i said it in the context that the song would be a bit dramatic , wont it be .
and i am not sure he would like it . ah, and what was that thanks for? IP: Logged |
The Mutable Night Force
Knowflake Posts: 124
From: England
Registered: Oct 2009
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posted July 16, 2005 11:49 AM
Awww.... sorry cancerrg!
I forgot you came from India and I don't know whether you do this kind of humour there. So if you do, sorry as well for being patronising.
Maybe this is just the sort of thing us wierd British people do
The whole song thing was a joke! I mean, I was joking, like "Write him a song!" Like an exagerration of a real solution. Meh, well, now I'm explaining it it doesn't seem very funny, but trust me, it was at the time lol.
And the "Well, thanks, cancerrg!" was sarcasm. As in, saying the opposite of what you mean in a jokey way/or deadpan way. I put a " " next to it to show I was joking. I've always found sarcasm doesn't work that well on the internet... Do you want me to write you an apology song? IP: Logged |
Battle of Evermore
Newflake Posts: 0
From:
Registered: Dec 2010
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posted July 16, 2005 06:05 PM
Thanks so much guys!  IP: Logged |
cancerrg
Newflake Posts: 0
From:
Registered: Sep 2012
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posted July 17, 2005 07:49 AM
ah , ok the typical british joke .
i had read about it many times about your ( THE BRITISH) sense of humour but gotta know it for the first time .
i believe its the culture diff.u know , we indians say yes , even when we mean a big no . and the funny thing its understood it that way only . funny isn't it ? IP: Logged |
Bluemoon
unregistered
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posted July 17, 2005 09:23 AM
So, BOE did anything work???IP: Logged |
Battle of Evermore
Newflake Posts: 0
From:
Registered: Dec 2010
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posted July 18, 2005 06:04 PM
Woh, that's a releif, I was overreacting. I said "I'm sorry I was so mean to you, and I promise to try my best not to be an insensitive jerk anymore." and he goes "Huh? What are you talking about? When were you mean to me? You are acting strange tonight." Sheesh, I thought he would have been hurt after me making suck a jackass out of myself, and considering I WAS being mean. Well thanks for the help anyway! IP: Logged |
cancerrg
Newflake Posts: 0
From:
Registered: Sep 2012
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posted July 19, 2005 07:36 AM
he might just be being his diplomatic best , thats thier way of making thier friends and people whom they care about feel comfortable .
u are quite important to him as friends , the message conveyed in the typical cancer -tender way.IP: Logged |
GemStar
unregistered
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posted July 19, 2005 08:47 AM
Ahhh...he was being coy. Don't let him fool you!!  You did a great job!!! He was just trying to cover-up and play it cool...
that is one of my little tricks.... 
No worries...he noticed and appreciated you truly caring about his feelings...
we ALWAYS note that about someone-especially when we like that person!
Great job BoE!!
GemStar IP: Logged |
Sagittarian_Cupcake
Newflake Posts: 1
From:
Registered: Jul 2013
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posted July 06, 2013 11:07 AM
I've hurt my Cancerian guy because I needed a few days of timeout - and I ended up forgetting his birthday. Before the timeout I explained why I needed to timeout, but he wasn't happy.
Was caught up with work and life, and after a week of no talk I messaged him. I explained my feelings and apologised profusely for missing his birthday. Kept messaging him every day - He was silent for two weeks, and only responded to an email yesterday. He's aloof and not direct in answering my question about whether he has given up on me.
Told me how he fears being left alone, that I was all he had, that he had placed too much on our relationship and it wasn't fair to me etc. It sounds like he is evading a yes or no, I'm confused.
I know I've hurt him, but not sure how to proceed. Do I maintain contact? I find his Cancerian ways so boggling! But I love him too much, also he is teaching me a lot of lessons I think I needed to learn. Just miss our closeness and the way we were before the timeout and me forgetting his birthday
I needed the space apart to clear my thoughts, felt so much lighter when I resumed contact...IP: Logged |
Randall
Webmaster Posts: 29615
From: Saturn next to Charmainec
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted July 06, 2013 01:34 PM
Welcome!IP: Logged |
Randall
Webmaster Posts: 29615
From: Saturn next to Charmainec
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted July 07, 2013 11:14 AM
Cancers tend to get hurt easily, but a sincere apology will go far.IP: Logged |
Lindaland
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