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Author Topic:   How long does it take you to say "YES" or "I Do"?
freebird
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posted July 23, 2005 11:01 AM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
ONLY For GIRLS

If a guy is chasing you in order that he can be boyfriend and you can be his grilfriend.
How long does it take you to say YES like give in for the committment and to start a relationship,like to trust him,how long to say I DO for marriage.If anyone wants to also share how long to have sex. No probs.

I am not sure whether you all like to be chased or not. If yes,how long one has to
persuade you? What one has to do in order to get you ?

ONLY FOR GUYS

Is it difficult for guys to say YES if girl is chaisng him for having relationship but to say I DO would be difficult for marriage.

Do you like girls chase you ?
Do you prefer chasing somebody ?
Do you like when woman play mind games ,hard to get?
If the girl doesn't show much interest how long will you wait for her and then move on to something better?

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WaterNymph
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posted July 23, 2005 11:02 AM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Sorry, I’m a bit slow today yes for what?

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freebird
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posted July 23, 2005 11:20 AM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I edited honey ! Water Nymph. I think my brains aren't working effectively. Anyways I hope you get it this time or i wil try to repost tomorrow.

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LILYGIRL
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posted July 23, 2005 11:24 AM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
My husband asked me to marry him on the fifth date. I said yes. we've been married for 14 years. Not sure I advocate 3 months of courtship then marriage. LOL.

I think YES refers to sex? I have only had sex with two guys so I am not the best respondent. But I would say it simply depends on you and the partner. I don't think I could ever sleep with someone on the first date unless I had been talking to them for a gazillion million times over before, even in benign casual conversation.

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Gemini Nymph
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posted July 23, 2005 11:51 AM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
It takes me about 5 minutes to size up a guy and decide whether I'll go out on a date with him or have sex with him. After that it's all touch and go (no pun intended). I'm pretty flexible in my approach - I can be very dominant and aggressive, be very carefree and jovial, or stay aloof and detached, depending on what the guy responds to.

I hate being persued when I'm not initially interested. No means no with me (despite that fact that I'm a Gemini), and I am very constant about that (again, despite being a Gemini).

I have 3 personal planets and MC in Gemini, NN-Vertex-Mars conj in Aqua, a strong 1st house Uranus and ASC in Virgo, so I am very cerebral and very independant. Real emotional attachments for me take time to develop, while spiritual bonds can form rather quickly with the right guy (I have Pisces moon in the 7th afterall). But a spiritual bond doesn't get me out on the first date or into bed with a guy. That has to be a mental connection, pure and simple. Mental connections are either there or they're not, and if they're not, *nothing*'s going to happen.

As for "what a guy has to do" to "get" moi....LOL... that independant streak of mine is very decided that guys don't get to "get" me. I decide if I want them, and if not, there's not a damn thing they can do to change my mind or win me over. That's why I hate presents and other tokens when first dating a guy - I feel they're empty, manipulative gestures and I've never been convicned by them in slightest.

The closest thing to "winning" me over is if a guy's smart enough and sharp enough to catch my attention in the first place.

And despite my moon placement, I don't think I'll ever say "I do." I'm too Uranian-Mercurial. I abhor convention and am allergic the status quo, and marriage fall into that realm. Ideally I do want to find a mate, but I want a guy who is interested in a devoted, faihful relationship, but not bound/oppressed by social convention and expectation, (i.e. wants a wife and kids). I definitely the kind of person who could live faithful with a guy forever without ever feeling the need to get married.

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The Mutable Night Force
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Posts: 122
From: England
Registered: Oct 2009

posted July 23, 2005 12:03 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for The Mutable Night Force     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Good topic, Freebird!


Errrr...... Yes- Depends whether I liked him too! If I didn't, then no amount of persuasion will work. If I liked him, then it would probably be me asking him since no guys ever ask me out, but then I am too shy to ask! So, suspending disbelief.... as soon as he asked me.

'I do'- Hmmm..... probably about a few months? Again, depends how crazy I was about him.

Sex- Well, if I thought he was sexy and I had no plans for the night, then why not?
Oh, course, only once I'm 16, though.

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WaterNymph
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posted July 23, 2005 12:32 PM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Oh ok I got it hun

How long to say yes for a proper relationship…prolly about a month.
For marriage…at least six months

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freebird
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posted July 24, 2005 12:50 AM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Gemini Nymph :

quote:
It takes me about 5 minutes to size up a guy and decide whether I'll go out on a date with him or have sex with him.

I really hope I could do that.


quote:
My husband asked me to marry him on the fifth date. I said yes. we've been married for 14 years. Not sure I advocate 3 months of courtship then marriage. LOL.

wOW 14 YEARS !


mnf :

quote:
Sex- Well, if I thought he was sexy and I had no plans for the night, then why not?
Oh, course, only once I'm 16, though.


How old are you hon!


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freebird
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posted July 24, 2005 12:51 AM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Water Nymph : Glad to get your answer.


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nove731
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Posts: 43
From: Strasbourg, France
Registered: Jun 2009

posted July 24, 2005 01:08 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for nove731     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Do you like girls chase you ?

Lol, I'd rather be chased than chase. Lmao.

quote:
Do you prefer chasing somebody ?

Not especially.

quote:
Do you like when woman play mind games ,hard to get?

Um, no.

quote:
If the girl doesn't show much interest how long will you wait for her and then move on to something better?

I rarely express interest myself. I don't like opening up to people.

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freebird
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posted July 24, 2005 01:15 AM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
I rarely express interest myself. I don't like opening up to people.

So how does the relationship start? What's your sun sign?

That means girl has to do lot of hardwork to get you ....huh

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SecretGardenAgain
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posted July 24, 2005 01:41 AM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
for a date : agree with Gem Nymph. you said it so well ! if the guy doesnt get my attention, thats IT. despite my being a gem too! and im oh so fixed on my answers. the guys who ive abhorred, i will abhorr them till i die. i dont care if they morph into nobel prize winners or god. I JUST DONT LIKE THEM AND THEY CAN GO TO HELL. muahahha. but then again, there are also the 'in betweens' (not first choice wow-ers , but more like, ok maybe something could develop here). but they are a distinct category from the yowza-babies and the never-happening-losers.

now moving on to a relationship, if a guy can show care, loyalty, sympathy and intelligence in the first date, of course he will win a second one. once ive seen a man a few times i will break it to my circle of friends that im seeing someone. thus all other men are off limits and shall stay away of course it doesnt always work that way. when most other men around me find out that im seeing someone they become even MORE aggressive in their pursuing. grrr. reverse psychology is something huh?

for a relationship: when i feel ive had *the moment* with someone--when i saw into their soul and saw that we could possibly be together forever.

for marriage: when, after feeling like i understand the guys soul (the moment has passed), he also feels the same connection and decides to ask me. once ive reached the relationship stage, and have the moment, i would be 100 percent YES for marriage. however it is possible for me to be in a relationship forever, not see the moment, and drop it, because there is no soul connection. im a true believer in soulmates.

sex? only after relationship/marriage--the moment

Love
SG

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nove731
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From: Strasbourg, France
Registered: Jun 2009

posted July 24, 2005 01:48 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for nove731     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:

So how does the relationship start? What's your sun sign?

That means girl has to do lot of hardwork to get you ....huh


Lmao, I meant that in a different way. I don't like to be the first to say it. Actually, that terrifies me. That's why I prefer to be chased. Plus - I like seeming distant.

My Sun is in Aries. I bet you didn't see that coming, did you?

Maybe that's the odd result of my Venus/Mars combo, though. Venus in Pisces, Mars in Aquarius.

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AcousticGod
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From: Pleasanton, CA
Registered: Apr 2009

posted July 24, 2005 03:53 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for AcousticGod     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
It might be difficult for me to say Yes sometimes to a girl pursuing me. The last girl that pursued me had to give up before I made my move on her. That absence of her affection motivated me to make a move.

I think I would be quick to say I DO as marriage is a goal of mine as much as any woman's.

I don't mind girls chasing me. It's VERY nice for guy to know that the girl is already attracted. Calms the nerves and makes it easier to allow things to progress. Plus there feels like there's more potential for equality if you're both equally attracted to one another.

I don't particularly prefer chasing someone.

I don't mind if a girl plays hard to get if I can discern that she's playing hard to get. Then it becomes a cute and fun challenge to pursue her. If she were to play hard to get, and not seem interested at all, then it's not worth my time.

If the girl doesn't show much interest, it's hard to be loyal to pursuing her. She would have to be ok with the possibility that some other woman might come along and tempt my affections away.

Hope that helps.

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freebird
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posted July 24, 2005 05:02 AM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
nove731 :

quote:
My Sun is in Aries. I bet you didn't see that coming, did you?

Ya Sounded more like Scorp or Leo.I didn't even think about Aries.

Acoustic God: That was neat and helpful.
So I think that's a good tip for all the Aries woman and Capricorn man.Chase Capricorn man and then stop chasing him till he starts missing your affection.

Secret Garden and Gemini Nymph :

If I seriously don't like somebody it can be NO means NO but sometimes it's empathy.When I can really feel that there are some genuine feelings.I can't be rude or cruel anymore.

To be honest what happens to me is also more like Acoustic God mention absence of affection from that person.

It's so nice to know how people get attracted and how they want their relation to start.Cool !

I don't know whether there have been ever this question raised but

Would you like to get married to a person whom you love or person who ONLY loves you.

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cancerrg
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posted July 24, 2005 06:21 AM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
i would like to be chased ( no girl seems to chase me , sad huh..)

but no amount of persuassion would work if i dont like the girl or if i know that the girl will ultimately prop the marriage question . so in those cases , i simply keep silent . period.


ofcourse . i think every guy would love this .

no . i dont chase . never have .

no again . i like people who talk staright . actaully mind games repulse me . in that i simply move on . i dont think i have the patience .
the two relations that i have had , they both never said a word but they both were pretty staright forward with thier gestures.

may be one or two meetings . if she's just playing game , i might wait a bit more but for that i must know that , which at times is quite difficult.isn't it ?
especially with girls .

and the marriage question , i am all game for it if i like the girl , may be i would be the one to be the first to ask this .

cancer-sun, taurus-moon , mars -leo, venus- virgo.

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freebird
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posted July 24, 2005 09:14 AM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I think I have relaized that mind games doesn't work for cancers and leo.

In my expereince, Leo hates to be ignored.Cancers are too
sensitive.

In fact Cancer guy took seriously when I said just find another girl in seven days.He did within 2 days. We stupid girls.
That's the reason I said Leyla that it's ok to play games with air signs but not water signs.I can be wrong.What do other leos and cancers have to say about this?

I think it's also difficult SOMETIMES to know for us to know " What does man want ?"
Sometimes...

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Aen
unregistered
posted July 24, 2005 10:27 AM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I'm also in this yes/no in five minutes camp. The chemistry either is there or it isn't and there is no point fooling muself with 'he is actually nice' - it won't help. No wasting of my time (Virgo rising?). With relationship.... Well, my Venus in Sagittarius conj Neptune & sextile Uranus would rahter wait with this commitment thing.


Aen
Cap/Virgo/Virgo

------------------
No hesitation. No regret. No looking back.

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Touchstone
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posted July 24, 2005 11:08 AM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
NIce topic Freebird

With my husband, I knew I wanted to be with him from the very first meeting (we met via friends of friends). I asked him for his phone number the same night as we could really talk to each other and seemed to understand one another even though we'd never met before. He was happy to give me his number and we mutually decided to go on a date. We really hit it off!

We became one after 3 weeks, got engaged after 3 months and married 3 years later.

We've now been happily married 10 and a half years.

Touchstone

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whiterabbit
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From:
Registered: Sep 2009

posted July 24, 2005 05:35 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for whiterabbit     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
good topic!
um..I kind of have multiple personality disorder when it comes to this stuff. I can act really aloof and then come over to the guy's house with a potted plant and condoms. I hate when I feel like a fellow just want to sleep with me but sometimes that's all I want, and I might sleep with someone that I just met. Or it might take months. or years (in one case..old friend ) and I hate when they're too obviously into me, but it's also fun to know they're very attracted to you. I love unattainable people, but I love being wanted, but I hate it when they tell me so.
Oh, and then I have this slight problem that I think most men are evil rapists.
But don't quote me on that, I've just got some issues to work out.
I've only been in one serious relationship and it was so insane I've stuck to open, honest, non-monogamy since then. I don't think I'll ever get married, but I'm looking for my soulmate.

(Aqua/Leo/Libra)

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sd09
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posted July 24, 2005 06:50 PM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
hmm forover

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Loggerhead
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posted July 24, 2005 07:03 PM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I know right away when someone is a no-no.

On the other hand, I can know someone for quite a while and feel neutral, and suddenly there is a spark that passes between us, and suddenly it is a wildfire. Go figure... Must have something to do with transits, or progressions, or who the hell knows what...

Then, trust, relationship, marriage, sex, -- not a problem. But gettting to that spark, how that happens, that's the mystery and the challenge.

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AcousticGod
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From: Pleasanton, CA
Registered: Apr 2009

posted July 25, 2005 03:31 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for AcousticGod     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Would you like to get married to a person whom you love or person who ONLY loves you?

I like equality in a relationship, so I want a mutual thing. It seems to me things never work out when one person loves the other person more than is reciprocated.

------------------
Sun in Capricorn, Moon in Virgo, Asc. in Gemini.
When left to my own devices, you'll find I'm full of surprises - Me

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freebird
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posted July 25, 2005 06:25 AM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Touchstone :
quote:
We became one after 3 weeks, got engaged after 3 months and married 3 years later.

I think the number 3 is pretty lucky for you !

whiterabbit:

quote:
I don't think I'll ever get married, but I'm looking for my soulmate.

I hope you get your soulmate soon.


sd09 : ya sometimes it takes so long to know things.

Loggerhead : I hope I can do no-no thing too.

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alanabelle86
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Posts: 40
From: Somewhere over the rainbow
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posted July 25, 2005 06:47 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for alanabelle86     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
i love the whole cat and mouse thing, as long as when we switch roles, i'm always the one thats more important... i love the chase, its like in my veins, i need it. if a guy plays the game with me long enough, and makes me feel like a princess, and shows me subconsciously that i can have some control then it's a maybe. im not big on relationships, im TERRIFIED of losing that freedom. but i guess when i'm in them as long as i have space it's fine. and by the way, most likely i would have implied that we're going to be dating. he can ask, but all it will do is make me feel beautiful, wanted, and needed. but it wont change my mind about anything..things are done at MY pace

i need the freedom to be myself, one cant ever try to change me cuz i'll walk away. im big on the anything you can do i can do better thing too. i love a challenge so you need to keep those coming to keep me interested. (i lose interest veryyyy quickly in everything). i always need to be treated like the world will stop if i have a problem. even if i know its no big deal, you just need to make it seem like one. even for just 5 minutes. (leo moon, baby )

for marriage, just make me happy...if you prove to me its worth it, that we can work on it when times get realllly bad and that we have potential to keep it realllly good then i'm all yours. plus if youre 130% dedicated, loyal and in love with meeee it just adds some flavor

basically just give me control, freedom, attention, love, and your honesty and i'm yours forever

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