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Author Topic:   How to combat VENUS RETROGRADE
steelrose
Knowflake

Posts: 108
From: Spain
Registered: Apr 2009

posted July 26, 2005 04:04 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for steelrose     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Well guys, I’m in trouble here... I’m a direct motion creature… I don’t know if this is actually very common but the nine astral bodies from the Sun to Pluto are direct in my natal chart…

The problem comes when trying to understand how retrograde energy feels like and what can you do to counteract it or make it work for you, how to use it positively.

Two of the most important people in my life have a handful of them and I struggle when trying to help them, to understand the problem… Why they are so stuck with their lives, how I can make the move forward and stop them suffering or wasting their lives…

Both of them are born only a week apart. Reading a bit about retrogrades, I think the one I’m more worried about is Venus retro. In Aries.

First you have my best friend. She always go after guys that she believes are not interested in her. She secretly feels that no man could ever love her, as if she was not good enough. She blames her physical appearance and then goes after a guy who lives from it and values it desproportionally. Then there is this other guy who think she is not even close to be as intelligent as he is when intelligence is so important for him… It’s like she picks them unconsciously to not stand a chance!!! I don’t quite understand it…
I’d say she has a love complex… Then when things go wrong and these guys simply don’t want her, she would say things like “Well, I knew… Didn’t I tell you? No man likes me”. She speaks of becoming a nun when the thing that she desires the most would be getting a family and having children… She tortures herself with statements such as “I should accept reality and renounce to love forever…”. She gets stuck in past failures: “Why will it go all right this time if it never did before?”.
She is so tough and harsh sometimes that discourage people trying to know her better out of fear and self-protection… She doesn’t relax, she doesn’t trust easily… She needs a thousand evidences that you are really interested in her or you care for her to start opening up… It can be really hard to get only indiference and coldness while you are under test, you get no feedback… I’ve told her that but she can’t help it… She is always waiting for a blow… And everytime she gets hurt, she gets even more vulnearble and introspected.

Now she is going through a life purpose crisis… She’s going through his first Saturn Return and she is re-evaluating her situation. She realises that she is stuck. She feels that she has done nothing with her life, especially in the emotional level, and the future looks gloomy and depressing. I don’t know how to help her… I’ve tried to inject some optimism and hope in her, I’ve tried to point to where the weeds are for her to unroot them… But the same as her approach to problem solving never helped me in the past (I fight in the outside world, she fights within… I never understood the reason and why her way of doing things never helped me…), mine will surely won’t help her.

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steelrose
Knowflake

Posts: 108
From: Spain
Registered: Apr 2009

posted July 26, 2005 04:07 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for steelrose     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Then you have the man I’ve loved the most in my entire life. Again Venus retro in Aries tightly conjunct with my South node. With another 4 retros. Yuck!
We are tied somehow, he keeps coming back to my life… and I don’t know what I can do to get him out of that hole… He suffered a lot in the past. He was always an idealist and his romantic and unreallistic views on love got a blow after another. I don’t discard I had to do with it involuntarily… He tortured me out of apparent desinterest, which now I’m starting to wonder if it wasn’t that doomed Venus moving backwards. Instead of growing stronger, he got terrified of love. Even when I may have become the perfect ideal in his mind, the distorted image of a godess, I may not stand a chance. He needs to believe I’m serious about him. He doesn’t trust love, not any woman romantically, not even me. And I bet he is doing the same as my best friend does. Coldly putting an indiference façade to test me, demanding a thousand evidences in silent detatchment… That is killing me… It’s so unfair… He’s not risking an inch while I’m constantly going through an impossible to win. What is frustrating is knowing that no matter what I do, I’m likely to fail… To make things worse, his Moon is in Capricorn.

None of them want that life for their future. Not what they have now. It’s so lonely, so purposeless, so empty… But they will end up dying one day, in half a decade, in the same situation if they don’t go out of that loophole…

For me, l life is made of trials to be failed and passed. If you never risk you never win. People are basically good-hearted so you need to give them a chance in order to live. Life is for living. For experiencing. And everytime you get hurt you should grow and learn for next time… I don’t think I quite managed to get the idea through with none of them… They get fascinated, almost touched with that contagious energy of my direct self… For a split second they believe they can do it, but then, they sink again, unable to move by themselves…

I suppose I can’t drag them out… They need to learn the lesson by themselves, the lesson of getting to love and trust themselves first before they can truly love and trust others.

I feel so powerless… Any thoughts???

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wilsontc
unregistered
posted July 26, 2005 11:54 PM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Steel,

When a planet is retrograde, it is moving backward in the sky. This turns the energy of the planet back on the person rather than out into the world. With this intense focus on the energy of the planet in them, retrograde people will tend to use the retrograde energy MORE than the other non-retrograde energy, due to their struggle integrate the retrograde energy into their life.

Aries (action) modifying Venus (relationships) indicates someone who takes action in their relationships. Sometimes this can indicate a person who needs to conquer through relationships...they pursue someone very intensely until they get the person, lose interest, and go onto pursue the next person.

One famous example of Aries modifying Venus was Marilyn Monroe, who spent her whole life conquering men in relationships, only to end up very unhappy in each relationship. The challenge for Aries modifying Venus people is to take ACTION in their relationship, to have a part in it, to be actively involved IN the relationship. This, of course, takes more work, and sometimes the Aries modifying Venus person is not willing to take the active role the relationship requires.

Rapping about Aries Venus,

Tim

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MoonDuchess88
unregistered
posted July 27, 2005 12:19 AM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I have like 5 retros in my chart..... hey! That explains some thaannnggss..*but none of them is venus, I can only imagine what that could do to a person

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steelrose
Knowflake

Posts: 108
From: Spain
Registered: Apr 2009

posted July 27, 2005 03:05 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for steelrose     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Hi there, Wilsontc!!!

Thanks for replying… Are you actually an Aries Venus? Or is it just that you know someone with that placement? Are you or is that person you know, Venus retro???

Actually, these two people I’m talking about are not that way at all… I’d expect that from a direct Aries Venus, wher all that energy is turned outwards… to conquer outsider’s hearts…

With Venus retro is more of the opposite… As if they were constantly trying to conquer themselves… and kept failing…

These people actually get trapped in the past. They fall in love with images of loved ones, of the object of their desire and then go on idealising them forever… So they can never conquer them… The image is too perfect… and they get locked in their own hearts, always trying to conquer the ideal… They get hooked… This guy I’m talking about is waiting for the ideal woman but then is too scared to offer her a chance… That woman has my face but he is too scared of the real me… It has always been that way. A long sad story, too platonic, as Romeo and Juliet… He’d love her image forever, unable to dream of any other woman on Earth… And then she materialises and he needs a thousand evidences to offer her a key to his heart… Frustrating, really…

They are not conquerers or womanisers. They are born romantics too scared of living. They would go into celibacy more easily than into seducing. The conquest is within.

This man has only had sex with one woman he didn’t love. It has been 5 long years since that ended and has never happened again because he is not wasting his time with women… Not with menial common women… Only a close contact without sex about a year ago… While he kept asking about me after having disappeared from his life… Not a womaniser or adventurer if you ask me…

Hi MoonDuchess!!!

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alanabelle86
Knowflake

Posts: 40
From: Somewhere over the rainbow
Registered: May 2009

posted July 27, 2005 11:44 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for alanabelle86     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
They are not conquerers or womanisers. They are born romantics too scared of living. They would go into celibacy more easily than into seducing. The conquest is within.

i have venus retrograde in scorpio in the 1st

my favorite quote i said when i was 11 years old
"i am an anti-romance romantic. relationships will be the death of me..."


tell. me.. about... it

------------------
your favorite daydream with a mystifying scorpio stellium w/ sun,venus, and pluto..*wink*

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wilsontc
unregistered
posted July 27, 2005 11:56 PM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Steel,

I am not and do not know anyone personally who has Aries modifying retrograde Venus. My suggestion was based on your describing her actions as "...goes after a guy..." and his "...He tortured me out of apparent desinterest...". Both of these actions seem to indicate a need to conquer the other person in the relationship.

However, you have direct experience of these people while I have no experience of them. You might try taking a look at the rest of their chart, besides the Aries modifying Venus to see if there are any challenges made to Venus energy in their charts which indicate why they are having these challenges in love. Their relationship issues could be MORE than just the Venus retrograde in their chart.

Explaining,

Tim

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steelrose
Knowflake

Posts: 108
From: Spain
Registered: Apr 2009

posted July 28, 2005 04:15 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for steelrose     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
WOW, Alanabelle!!!! I’m so excited!!!! At last I found someone with Venus retro to share views on the matter…

So you agree with what I’m saying? Do yo feel related to it? Oh, gosh, this is so wonderful… So enlightening… So you kind of fall in love with love itself, right? Have you ever been able to stay in a relationship and make it work?

It’s like you people spend your life fantasizing about romance and the perfect platonic love and the same time you are bitter against mundane love, about real love, and despise it… So sad…

Have you managed to control that retro energy and make it work? How could someone else help you? I badly want to help these two… If I only knew how…

Do you also mistrust people who want to love you? Do you need 1000 evidences to trust them and let yourself go?

OK… I‘d better stop myself if I don’t want to scare you off with so many questions… I didn’t mean to interrogate you… But you are the first person in this forum that I come across with Venus retro…

Wilsontc… There is a bit of that too… But they do not conquer, they wait to be conquered… Her “goes after a guy” is a passive way of going after someone… It’s not a chase, she just hints she is interested… and gets so disappointed because those guys don’t chase her back… It’s a bit paranoid because I’m starting to think that she only chooses the ones she innerly believes she doesn’t stand a chance with… or the ones that make her feel insufficient, or inferior, not too good or even belittle her… to feel safe in their rejection?

His “he tortured me out of apparent desinterst” wasn’t on purpose. He didn’t mean to hurt me… He was testing me, he is still testing me, in that twisted Venus-retro manner… Unable to give you back and too scared to go for it and risk showing interest…

Well yes… Both of them have a T-Square where Venus retro is involved… Opposing Pluto (also retro) and squaring Mars (direct, thanks god…)… This gets uglier and uglier every time I look at it… I’ll check for other aspects to Venus tomorrow…

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