posted August 07, 2005 08:52 AM              

Despite our love for each other, my man and I go thro periods of difficulty concerning emotional connection (yawn yawn, sorry if Ive already been here)!

I would so appreciate male and female input on this one. Maybe a male perspective would help as well as female ones!

Okay I am very very passionate - all that Scorp, moon and mars in Taurus, Aries Rising etc and he says, at times, I am too much for him. How do I, whose need for intensity is so great handle the coolness of his Aqua moon. He is able to stand back and be objective, I am not. I admire so much about him, but not this detachment, it feels cold and its scary.

The other day I said to him "you know these blokes who go off with other women cos their wives arent enough for them, well do you feel like that about me" - he burst out laughin and said "what - you are TOO MUCH for me" - LOL!!!!!

I cannot be one of those wives who just "put up and shut up" - he says I analyse too much, I think he stand back too much at times.

Is anyone getting a sense of where I am coming from? Any advice or suggestions?

Thankyou friends

Love to all

posted August 07, 2005 08:59 AM              

I feel it's just there nature. I am very passionate also. I have my venus in tuarus as well so it was hard.

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Gemini sun, Cancer rising, mercury in Gemini, moon in Taurus, venus in Taurus, mars in Libra

"You must live in the infinite blackness that exists when I close my eyes. I see you when I fall asleep, I see you when I dream."

posted August 07, 2005 09:21 AM            

i am very passionate, but i can also be detached as well....
anyway yeah one time i asked " do you like that im passionate"....he said "yes i guess"..he also says i analyze too much( he says think too much)...i think the problem in the past was i had all these high expectations on how it was suppose to be, now that im more subdued and realize you cannot push an aqua man/moon/whatever, you can only PUSH YOURSELF to understand, or be more patient at least, if you love someone enough i think its worth it.

posted August 07, 2005 10:54 AM              

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aka Neptune’s Mermaid, NM, WN, Nurse Neptune, Waternixie, Nepsnympe and deputy #6

posted August 07, 2005 11:35 AM              

I've got Venus and Mercury in Scorpio, a Cancer ascendant and a Cappy Moon so despite my Libra sun, I can be incredibly intense! My Aqua is like a cold blast of air blown right in the face of that intensity so much of the time and says I "think too much" about things.

Well I've discovered (thanks to my Cancer asc) that when I decide "right, sod you then!" and turn on the freezing cold water jet of a spurned water sign, he comes running! It has the effect of 'out-Aquarianing' him and it's weird but it seems to fascinate them so much they come to you. I'm not an advocate of playing games and in a way this isn't a game - it's just using a facet of yourself to provoke a reaction.

It feels so cold and detached doesn't it, but I have a suspicion that all that detachment hides a well of deep, deep emotion which they keep locked away for safety. They're not called the Water bearer for nothing!

Huge love and understanding to you Sue,
Sarah xx

posted August 07, 2005 11:58 AM              

PLEASE understand that this is an un-emotional and thought-provoking answer to your question:

Maybe the problem stems more from lack of trust and insecurity within the relationship itself...not his Aqua Moon.

He may be brushing off your 'testing' questions because 'wanting other women' is not an issue for him...

(OK-This is my preamble to the following thought...Scorp directness from one Scorp Asc to another Scorp Sun):

Try not to be upset that he didn't respond to your question the way you wanted...why not be content with the fact he didn't get irritated because of your insecure question about his loyalty to You.

This seems to be an ongoing theme with you two.

Maybe past indiscretions have caused this insecurity?? Just a thought....your answers will be found buried much deeper than simply his Aqua Moon.

Peace be With You...

posted August 07, 2005 12:14 PM              

You see there were no indiscretions on either part Gemstar, we have been totally true to each other for 16 years. Now I am thinking this problem lies with ME!!! Do I expect too much, maybe I need
to become more accepting, but I find it hard to be reasonable all the time!!

I feel we have to meet in the middle here - yes it is a pattern repeating itself and when I challenged him yesterday he said "well you chose me" - what can I say? When I ask him to look at himself, he says he cant. So that means I do all the hard work, and he stands still - isnt that why a lot of couples split up? Why is it often the woman who works at it more?

Pixie girl, you got something there - girlfriends are a life saver arent they. I talked with a female musician in the pub and she is Aqua moon and Sun and says she just cannot feel for the other person and she sympathised with me - she said it is horrible!!!

You guys here always help and thanks for the comments, I feel understood here and listened to - so for your efforts I send you all a big ((((((HUG))))))

Love to all

Sue xxxxxxxx

posted August 07, 2005 12:18 PM              

Aaahh girl what a profound statement........mmmmm........maybe one day he will explode or kill me, one or the other!!!

posted August 07, 2005 02:50 PM            

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I have a couple other thoughts.

One is that, to me, everyone's been a bit weird for the last few days. It may be something astrological. I really don't know. I'm thinking, though, that we may all be coming out of it now. I know I feel a little better than I have been. Maybe we were all PMSing there for a bit. There may not have been much we could do about it, but as long as we're patient with ourselves and others we'll come out on the other side ok.

The other thing I was thinking was to do with what you could do to help him be less aloof. I guess I don't really have an answer for that.

He only knows how to be himself. If you can gently put forth what you'd prefer without putting him on the defensive then you may be on your way. Prodding in too strong of a manner, though, will only make him more aloof.

You know what I think would work? Giving him a little break from you. Absense makes the heart grow fonder as they say. If you do take this advice, don't tell him that he needs a break from you. Don't tell him anything that suggests that anything is wrong at all. Just do your own thing for a little while so that he can miss you and show his passion for you upon your return.

posted August 07, 2005 03:05 PM            

I'm an Aqua Moon tooo (Plus having many planets in Sag: Sun, Asc, Mars & Jupiter) tends give me an aloof and detached appearance, but it is actually just the opposite. I'm a very passionate and connected person (Merc in Scorpio & a lot of fire), but tend to be on the sidelines, observing everything and deciding before jumping in with both feet. I notice everything.

So, for an Aqua moon person, it's our nature to appear to be a little detached, but there is a lot (believe me, a lot) going on under the surface. Some of it is because we like our space and being detached helps us retain that. Plus, there is a fair amount of rationalizing going on of a cerebral nature before connecting it all heart-wise. Being detached is also a protective defense mechanism against the knee-jerk emotional reaction from relating closely and emotions get funneled through the brain first to figure certain situations out before reacting. Aqua Moon people can be quite a bit like Aqua Suns, it's our way of relating, but also other influences in the chart will temper things quite a bit too. I hope this helps you Sueg...as frustrating as it is for such a deeply emotional person as yourself, it probably is difficult being able to connect with a person who is a little more detached.

posted August 08, 2005 03:19 AM              

It does SO help to come here an discuss without fear of judgement and Aries Tiger, I felt so relieved in a way with what you wrote, not saying it is an excuse but it makes more sense than just saying I am insecure or I am being too unreasonable etc - thanks for that girl,

Yeah the suggestion of a break would be good. If we didnt have out little boy, I would be gone and th eway I am feeling, dont know if I would come back. But I have him to mind, he keeps my feet on the ground and at times it feels like torture!

My man admitted last night that he closed down a bit from me cos I had an intense friendship with that Libra/Scorp guy - this ended 6 months or so ago. This lasted for 5 years and he kept saying he was fine with it at the time and now he is challenging me about it - I have let go of this person and NOW he chooses to challenge me rather than when I was friends with him!! I feel irritated by this - he has had a soul connection with a woman in the past and he DOES understand, but is now acting all wounded.

I am not up for this - nothing happened, I didnt sleep with him, I made the effort to get big help with this, counselling, healing, etc etc. I even admitted to my hubbie that I was sick when I met this guy (post natal depression).

He does NO work on himself at all, and I get to feel like the guilty party.

Sorry guys, but I am in a bad space at the moment and needed to rant.

I cant keep doing this, in all my relationships I am the one that hold things up emotionally and when I crumble it all crumbles - I hope this helps others to read this. I am being very open but I am being told to do this for myself and others.

God bless

Love to all

Sue xx

posted August 08, 2005 05:20 AM            

Sometimes while in relationships I've been asked why I've been acting a certain way, and I wasn't conscious of it. I think it's unfortunate in a way, because it causes me to analyze myself to come up for a reason for behavior I was unaware I was displaying. I say it's unfortunate, because perhaps the reason I come up with wasn't actually affecting me at all, but rather an excuse I could lay my behavior on.

I almost can't help but wonder if your husband said that simply because he was searching for a reason like you were. Maybe he agreed he was aloof, and started his own investigation into himself to try to figure what the motivation for it might be.

I'm honestly not trying to be argumentative here. I hope that goes without saying, but I'll say that just in case.

I think your husband may have resented this friendship you had, and was dealing with it in his own way, which he may have included him trying to keep it inside so he wouldn't appear jealous. Everyone tends to think that jealousy is an unattractive quality for some reason, so a lot of people try to hide it. They opt to try to trust in the relationship, and in themselves and hope it all works out. By forcing the issue you may have triggered his brain to find the only resentment he could conjure up as an excuse for his aloofness. I wonder if this issue would have ever come up if he wasn't searching for it. I think that's the reason it's this far disconnected from the time you ended the relationship with that Libra guy. I don't know that he would have ever brought it up on his own.

That said, I'm not sure for how long he might have acted aloof if he wasn't confronted.

posted August 08, 2005 01:21 PM              

Actually your reply not only helped me AG, but in a way astounded me, cos it confirmed all I had been feeling about my partner and also I had "put out" that I receive some male perspective - thank you friend, your efforts are very much appreciated.

If I can help you in anyway......please ask

Love

Sue xx

posted August 08, 2005 02:42 PM              

Mama Mia, another sweet one, thanks girl for saying that, it is really HARD for me, I am such a warm person who needs to connect. I think this is my karma, he teaches me a lot, I admire him and love him deeply, but his aloofness hurts me. It does at times bring me to my knees........

Love to all of ye precious ones.......I am off to dinner with 2 girfriends, like you they are lifesafers, thanks again

posted August 08, 2005 03:41 PM              

they seem to fall hard and fast in the beginning and later on pull back, which is opposite of the way that I love, I am a little careful in the beginning but once im in i am truly in for the long haul,

yet every single time i still fall for the Aqua mooners, I think that despite all the troubles and conflict, there is some sort of connection of the souls because I do tend to understand them best. Another thing I see though is that with the square there is understanding and respect even if it is not of a harmonious nature, that is big time required in relationships. i think you are a darling and that ur man would be unfortunate to see u slip away, and the imp part is that he is introspecting, and that shud always lead to a better place, the danger is in standing still

posted August 08, 2005 07:45 PM              

Maybe your partner is confused by your reactions, since you seem to have it all together? I feel that way with taurus moons in the end I never know how deep the emotions run and I laugh it off. Now I know and I am much more caring of taurus moons, and go out of my way to be gentle, caring and most of all honestly sensitive to every word.

Still it took me a lifetime to get there and many broken hearted moments,
taurus moons are sensitive sweeties!

posted August 08, 2005 07:55 PM            

quote:

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I cannot be one of those wives who just "put up and shut up" - he says I analyse too much, I think he stand back too much at times.

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going through the same thing. my leo moon is so passionate in there about EVERYTHING needs that constant attention, respect, esp. for my opinions, thoughts, feelings (extremely opinionated and independent)w/e. and my bf's Aqua Moon is so...detached, cool, and apart i feel like i'm shouting through a megaphone to him on a island thats 500,000 miles away.

very difficult. *SIGHS out of frustration*

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"i've got the POWER!!!"