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Author Topic:   Leo's husband of 3 yrs Sagitarius reaqlly stinks!!!
tomeka
unregistered
posted August 22, 2005 07:26 PM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I'm sorry, but I thought we were suppose to be sooo compatible and all. He's a real stinker and I don't how much of his #$%@& I can take!

my birthday is 7-30-66 his is 11-30-72. I have been the bread winner, the cook the nanny the sex slave and everything wles in between. He on the other hand has been the complainer, wife beater, child beater, money spender, adulterer, liar, partyer. enough is enough. I was trying to settle down instead, I'm as nervous as can be. would somebody please tell me if he is suffering from a mental disorder of do he want me to think he's crazy? I thought I loved him but lately I have nothing but contempt for him. He leaves ealry in the morning after and comes home late in the evening. If I go somewhere He's here waiting on me. I use to be jealous, now I'n just relieved when he leaves. His acts of kindness are fare an few between and since I lost my job he's threatening to put me out of out home and calls me all kind of drug addicts and accuse me of playing hooky form work to go to a crack house. this has been going on for years and I thought maybe he had been dealing with those kind of women etc etc the verbal abuse is very redundant, degrading and so embarrasing that I can't even disclose to my friends and family all of the stuff he say to me. I'm a god fearing woman who rarely goes out. I sip on beer and travel on vacations with my girls every year. But the stuff he accuse me of is just waay out there. I've considered leaving him, But he has a 3 yr old and 6yr old who's passed this year in child birth. My 12 yr old has been physically punished by him on two occasions and I left him the last time he hit him. I promised the next time he goes off that I was going to call the police but he jumped on me a few weeks ago because I left the window up in the bedroom and left big knots on my forehead and made me sprain my knee. I could'nt go to work th enext day then I was let go some time after. I believe the noticed the bruising on me and got scared. My last good job was for 50,000 a Year and he sent me to work with a black-eye. Enough is enough Somebody please do a reading for me.

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BlueRoamer
Knowflake

Posts: 95
From:
Registered: Apr 2009

posted August 22, 2005 07:33 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for BlueRoamer     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
You don't need a reading, get out now, go somewhere safe, bring the children. You don't want to be in this relationship, you'll be so much happier without it. Go live with your parents or a sibling.

I'm sure other people will back this advice up.

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funkyaquarianpixie
unregistered
posted August 22, 2005 07:45 PM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
enough is enough you say?

there should be womens shelters in your area. google for one, do it straight away after you see this.

leave this guy, for your kids sake if not yourself. These kids need to grow up knowing that this behavior is dysfunctional. By not leaving you are creating the illusion that this is normal relationship behavior. that might seem cold and critical, but i am truely concerned for you and your kids physical and emotional wellbeing.

the mental scars of domestic abuse are hard for kids and even adults who witnessed or received the abuse.

I know, I saw my father beat my mother and cannot stand people (esp men) touching my neck in certain ways. ( he used to hold her against the wall like it.) i was 5 when i saw this. Im 25 now.

I cannot stress this more. You dont need a reading you need to protect your kids and yourself from this abusive man.

love and light

FunkyAquaPixie

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tomeka
unregistered
posted August 22, 2005 07:45 PM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I didn't think I could take the 3yrold and the 6 yr old. The grandmother lives downstairs and she's ill but wants custody of them. She's crazier than he is. She wakes up creaming and cussing and hitting the kids. I always promise to come and get them. But I believe once I leave I won't want to let him know where I'm at. So, will lose my babies too. ( I'm crying) I have so many emotions tied up in this disfunctional family.

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BlueRoamer
Knowflake

Posts: 95
From:
Registered: Apr 2009

posted August 22, 2005 07:47 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for BlueRoamer     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Fight for your children, you have to be strong for them. Recruit a lawyer if you have to. Go into debt for them. My mom didn't fight for me, and left me with my verbally abusive father, and I will resent her forever for it. My mom is born on july 29, she put herself before her children, and it was a HUGE mistake.

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Mystic Gemini
unregistered
posted August 22, 2005 08:01 PM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
RAPE COUNSELING CENTER
Rape Counseling Center / Mission / History
If you are a victim of Sexual Assault
CALL 911 or Call Sex Crime Unit At 313.596.1950 or

Go to Detroit Receiving Hospital's Emergency Room The Rape Counseling Center will be notified or

Call the RAPE COUNSELING CENTER
If you need information, nonjudgmental support or just need to talk
1.313.833.1660
Althea Ml Grant. ACSW DIRECTOR Email granta758@dpdhq.ci.detroit.mi.us
Phone 313.833.1660 Fax 313.833.3694
The Rape Counseling Center is a unit within the Crimes Against Persons/Property Section. The Sex Crime Unit, Child Abuse Unit, Armed Robbery Unit, Domestic Violence Unit, and Property Crime Unit comprise the Crimes Against Persons/Property Section.

The Director of the Rape Counseling Center reports to the Inspector of the Crimes Against Persons/Property Section and is responsible for the civilian personnel and the day-to-day operations of the unit.

Supervisory responsibilities are divided among the Senior Soial Workers. One Senior Social Worker supervises the day shift civilian personnel, one Senior Social Worker supervises the afternoon and midnight civilian personnel, and one Senior Social supervised the civilian personnel assigned to the Domestic Violence Unit.

The Rape Counseling Center is responsible for the operation of a 24 hour crisis telephone hotline, and staffing of 24 hour coverage in the Detroit Receiving Hospital Emergency Department to provide crisis intervention to victims of sexual assault and domestic violence.

The Rape Counseling Center is responsible for the operation of 12-hour coverage of social work services to domestic violence victims at the Domestic Violence Unit site.


http://www.ci.detroit.mi.us/police/dept/chief/rcc.htm

STOP ALLOWING YOU AND YOUR CHILDREN TO CONTINUE SUFFERING.


YOU DESERVE BETTER THEN THAT.
THEY WILL HELP YOU. GO OR CALL.

------------------
Gemini sun, Cancer rising, mercury in Gemini, moon in Taurus *29, venus in Taurus, mars in Libra

"You must live in the infinite blackness that exists when I close my eyes. I see you when I fall asleep, I see you when I dream."

- Talib Kweli

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Grasshopper
unregistered
posted August 22, 2005 08:01 PM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
If you want astrological evidence that this is a bad idea, look at your chinese zodiacs. Not a good match. Okay? Now, move on!

------------------
"The reason why birds can fly and man cannot is simply that they have perfect faith; for to have faith is to have wings." ~JM Barrie

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tomeka
unregistered
posted August 22, 2005 08:22 PM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Again, i don't think it's about me anymore. I loved the children. I have stuck in here for them. I have left many a man before-when I'm done, I'm done. And before I met him I had dated and maintained my independence for almost 10 years. These babies have been in the system before. He got the three yr old about a year ago and the grandmother had to go and get the 6yr old out of fostr care when he was baby. Thier biological mother just passed a few months ago in child birth. She was only 24yrs old. I'm the only mother these kids know and my friend and family could care less about the babies they just tell me to leave. I don't believe in my heart of hearts if I leave them I will get rid of him!! So why leave if I know he can and will use the kids to get to me. Oh, he can be very charming a persuasive when he wants to be. And I guess I can be very stupid at times. I can't believe I'm in this dilemna. You all are right, and I know you are but it still hurts. I could have been put him in jail and moved my stuff out in leisure. But, I thought about the babies. Ones birthdate is 6-10-99 and the others is 6-6-02 and my son is 1-9-93. Kids are really resilient. They have been my happiness lately.

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tomeka
unregistered
posted August 22, 2005 08:25 PM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I'm sorry the 3yr olds birthdate is 3-6-02. they are all boys.

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Lauren
unregistered
posted August 23, 2005 01:08 AM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Those kids would be better of anywhere without him, whether he ends up in jail or not.. DO NOT, this is the biggest mistake women do.. feel sorry for him. He deserves anything he gets. What he's doing isn't right.
You said you thought about the babies, so you didn't put him in jail..well when you think about them, you should think about how much happier and calmer their life would be without him.

Kids may seem resillient, but only they'd know how they really feel about this, inside. One of my friends was in a similar situation, and because he was very shy as a kid and didn't speak much at all, his coping mechanism was to go numb and stay quiet and totally block everything out, so maybe they don't necessarily show it, by crying or screaming..but I'm sure it's affecting them.

Please leave, and put him in jail if you have to. You WILL get rid of him..Trust me. Once the proper authorities are aware of what's going on, that would scare him. he might seem all big and tough now, but once he knows he doesn't have that power over you and you've left and you've spoken to the police, he'll drop it.

I understand that it seems very hard now.. but once you get the ball rolling it will get easier..and years from now you'll look back on it and think it's the best thing you could've done.

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cancerrg
unregistered
posted August 23, 2005 01:55 AM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
these type of men need a tough approach .
so , whatever comes , u 'll have to show the courage to save the little angels .

as far as i have understood sags , he 'll try to use violence to scare u but if u stay ground , u have pretty good chance ...

so call the police . dont let him know this before hand , he 'll use kids as pawns b'cos he knows they are your weakness .

with all this done , take a hard bat and hit him hard on his knees , so that he doesn't dare think to harm u again.

we know u have the courage !

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Duality
unregistered
posted August 23, 2005 04:23 AM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Tomeka,

You don't need any astrology.

JUST LEAVE HIM! Save yourself and you kids and your futures.
That's ALL you need to worry about.

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miss_muffet
unregistered
posted August 23, 2005 08:46 AM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
For the sake of the children, you must leave him. The kids learn from what they see. If they grow up seeing how his father treats you, you are really encouraging the same behavior from them. Kids of abusers almost always turn out like their father or worse yet, nut jobs.

But first of all, do it right. Document everything. Time, dates, bruises, take pictures, go to doctors. Have every single bruise documented for the next few months or however long you can take it. Also document reasons why you or the kids were beaten. When you have enough evidence, leave him.

Fight for the kids. When you have all the proof you need, no judge will give him custody. Also document the illness of his mother. Once you have custody, move away and conveniently forget to give him your forwarding address with the children.

Fight vicious with viciousness but you have to be smart about it.

Another thing, go get a job. No judge will give you custody if you are out of work.

I pray for you and your kids' safety.

M

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sue g
unregistered
posted August 23, 2005 08:56 AM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
GET THE HELL AWAY FROM THIS MANIAC.......PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE BEFORE HE MIGHT KILL SOMEONE. THINK OF YOUR CHILDREN........THEY DESERVE A NORMAL LOVING ENVIRONMENT.........IF I WAS THERE WITH YOU GIRL, I WOULD...............AAAARRGHHHH!

Love to you and children


Sue xx

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proxieme
unregistered
posted August 23, 2005 09:10 AM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I think that ya'll are missing a point that she put out there - the children are not biologically hers, but his by a different woman (the mother having passed).

She cannot just take them.

Would that it were different, but it's not.

With that in mind, does anyone have any legal advice for her?

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amisha121877
unregistered
posted August 23, 2005 10:40 AM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
get someone to beat his ass to the damn hospital. he needs his ass whooped.

legally? i can't say but i'm just saying enough for him to not ever touch you again. as for the children - you have 3 boys. wtf? you ever hear of repeat cycles? you don't want your boys to grow up to be wife-beaters and such because the first person they'll beat on and cuss out, is you. i mean - just think, what type of people will they be when they hit their teens? really? at the very least - pack up your ish, pack up your kids while his ass is beat up in the hospital, and leave. get yourself a lawyer - get a divorce. period.

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Aphrodite
unregistered
posted August 23, 2005 11:08 AM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
There is research indicating that it takes a woman leaving a dysfunctional situation an average of 13 times before she finally leaves for good.

Try not to be too discouraged. That piece of information says a lot about the numerous variables and challenges that are part of the foundation of people living this way, whilst trying to make a permanent change.

Tomeka, you'll try. I know you will. And then there will be breakdowns and falls. Then you will have the courage to try again; when you are confident and you understand why the last time didn't work.

God knows how many times well meaning people will tell you to do the right thing and stand up. A lot will become angry, and some will quit being your friends. Don't be surprised. Perhaps it has already happened. I also know it feels like a lonely life you have, just you and the children. Nobody else truly understands when giving out their bits here and there.

I am sending to you my Love, Light and Arian courage to trust yoursELF, trust your instincts, and believe that the support will come in increments on what seems to be an invisible bridge between here and there.

Aphrodite

P.S. Happy Belated Birthday

------------------
Love all, trust a few. Do wrong to none.
- William Shakespeare (1564 - 1616)

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ScotScorp
unregistered
posted August 23, 2005 02:40 PM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Tomeka-

The oldest boy is yours, so he's safe to take, correct?

The two youngins are not yours, so you can't touch them. If the oldest one's in school, you CAN call your local social agency and report child abuse, annonymously. If your man or his mother wonder who did it, you can just say it could have been a teacher or fellow parent. Less likely chance he'll beat you or the kids over it.

Next time he touches you, call 911. YOU MUST REPORT HIS ABUSE EVERY TIME SO THAT LAW ENFORCEMENT HAS EVIDENCE SO HE CAN BE PROSECUTED!!! Cops do not have sympathy for domestic violence victims that just "put up with it". If one of the children or YOU die from injuries he's inflicted on you, and the law has NO RECORD OF PRIOR abuse,they will not prosecute him to the fullest extent for prior "alleged incidents".

You must get out, you must take your older son with you. You must call and report the abuse of the other babies.

Sticking around will not help YOU with the babies. YOU need to be whole and well to fight for those kids, and you won't be well getting smacked around by him.

If you don't want to leave now... call 911 the next time he hits you, and go out on a stretcher! Atleast there'll be ONE prior incident on record against him. And more than likely he'll go to jail overnite...

God/dess bless you and the children.

Angela

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tomeka
unregistered
posted August 23, 2005 08:22 PM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I will leave this jerk, there's no doubt about it. I called the police one time when he slice my nose with a broken broom stick and they took pictures. I did some research and I do have parental rights!! That's enough for me, I will document everything from now on. And when I leave I'm taking the kids with me. They will have to see me in court and explain this awful mess to a judge. Thanks for all of the advice I know where to come when I need support. i have told you guys more than I have told my friends or family. They only now bits and peices of the truth. It's funny how the abuser can make you feel as if it's YOUR fault. At this point I can't even speak my mind. I see clearly what i need to do now. WARNING TO THOSE YOUNG WOMEN OUT THEE LOOKING FOR MR RIGHT: Take your time to get to know a person and have them earn your Trust, Love and Respect. Don't think because you are good to them, that they are going to be good to you.

" I will never stop loving, just learn to love myself more"

TOMEKA

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sweetlibra
unregistered
posted August 24, 2005 06:20 AM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
For your children's sake go away from this guy!!!
The biggest danger is kids will lose belief in family life.
Please please dont look for any reading, astrology has nothing to do here.

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GemStar
unregistered
posted August 24, 2005 08:46 AM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Mystic Gemini gave you all that you need to start walking...there will never be a better time than TODAY to call the Womens Center. They are available for YOU and will guide you with answers that you are looking for. (Don't let the Rape in the shelter title keep you from calling-they will take care of you and provide assistance-however, they will NOT tolerate drugs). You need their help-and they want to give it to you Tomeka.

No more stories or excuses...CALL TODAY.
It is up to YOU.....and only YOU.

Write us with an update and be safe Today...not tomorrow, not this weekend..TODAY. Everything will fall into place once you 'let go' of your fears.... JUST DO IT...and Call.
They will HELP YOU. (And you will not be alone and you will have excellent support)

And more importantly.....You WILL find PEACE.
(However, you must make different decisions beginning NOW).

Good Luck Tomeka...TODAY is the day, wait no longer
because the time for waiting is over!!!


GemStar

Great effort Mystic Gem!!

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cancerrg
unregistered
posted August 24, 2005 08:56 AM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
The kids learn from what they see. If they grow up seeing how his father treats you, you are really encouraging the same behavior from them. Kids of abusers almost always turn out like their father or worse

Not necessarilly .

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astro junkie
unregistered
posted August 24, 2005 12:44 PM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Welcome tomeka

Welcome funkyaquarianpixie

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funkyaquarianpixie
unregistered
posted August 24, 2005 12:57 PM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
thankies for the welcome, astro junkie

tomeka i will put your sign in name on my altar pillar and send you some emotional and physical strength, and courage.

Also memorise the location of anything that could be used to smack him over the head with in the house. If you get the upper hand over a bully once they lose their edge.. Only in self defence tho, or defense of the kids..

thankyou to the person who put the contact numbers on..

Pixie

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virgolibra69
unregistered
posted August 24, 2005 01:05 PM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
For God Sake, the Only reason you need a man in my Opinion is for Money, so if you don't need him for that, WHY on Earth would you be with someone like that!

Get yourself together Women, Gain your Self Worth and Self Respect back. I would assume anyone who would put up with anything like that has NO SELF ESTEEM? Get some Thearpy and possibly Anti-depressants if you must but get away from that MONSTER! If not for you but for your poor Children!

Don't get me wrong, It's called Tough Love! I love Women and Wish that more were as Strong as me, drives me mad when I hear such stories! We are to be Worshipped and Loved, but only if that is what you want or feel you deserve! Kick his Butt OUT TODAY!

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