posted September 05, 2005 05:11 PM              

Now The Cancer has spent most of his time with his family and has told me he is gone every holiday too. That leaves maybe one weekend or two weekends a month we can see each other. My question is will this be enough?

I know he is testing my loyalty, and stability as his last g/f was unstable and ran off with another guy before he could be with her. It was long distance relationship and she said he couldn't commit, although he was actually trying to find a job in her area. When he moved she had already left. He wants a patient woman, to settle down with but doesn't know if our personalities jell.

Also I refused him on several occasions when he wanted kisses because I prefer not to kiss until I am emotionally involved and I didn't know him that well. Now the only time he will kiss me is once at night after he drops me off, he tilts his head once, pecks and goes. Nothing like at first.

So I know he has career issues, he is trying for a better job and he is a teacher so he is a little careful with money and worried I want more than he has to offer, and family issues, he is devoted to his mother who he visits twice a year for a month at a time. And she lives in another country.

And he is not seeing anyone but I believe if he does meet someone else, he may break it off if I don't start encouraging him to be more affectionate soon.

Is this a case of wounded pride? or lack of desire? Am I just not appealing to him? I hate this awful feeling of never knowing what to do or say to turn this man on. I can't feed him, he likes to order his own food and feed me, he doesn't appreciate advice, and doesn't act like he needs me at all. But insists he likes me and doesn't want anyone else. What do I do?

When I ask if he has feelings for me, he says feelings about what exactly? When I ask if he wants to date other people, he says I never date anyone else are you trying to give me a nervous breakdown?

Thanks,
him
Cancer Sun/2nd house
Taurus Moon/11th house trine Uranus
Leo Venus/3rd house conjunct Mercury
Gemini rising
Libra Mars/5th house

Me
Taurus Sun/6th house
Cancer Moon/8th house
Aries Venus/5th house
Gemini Mercury/7th house Opp Sag Mars

Is is a case of our moons clashing? he is very bossy in a firm way, Saturn is in the 10th in Pisces. He is a professor of latin languages.
he has been a huge help in my career, but is romance a good idea?
Right now he is the coldest person I have ever seen, since this my first Venus in Leo is this normal? Or am I used to Venus in Pisces sloppy romantic craziness?

Thanks,
Natasha

posted September 05, 2005 05:45 PM              

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Gemini sun, Cancer rising, mercury in Gemini, moon in Taurus *29, venus in Taurus, mars in Libra

"You must live in the infinite blackness that exists when I close my eyes. I see you when I fall asleep, I see you when I dream."

posted September 05, 2005 05:46 PM              

Where in the synastry is there a mis-connect? Or is it simply a lack of synastry? Obviously more than just an issue with his Venus. The whole picture sounds dull and lacking in passion. Do you agree?

posted September 05, 2005 08:14 PM              

There's no need to complicate this. He sounds like damaged goods and is simply emotionally unavailable to you or anyone else. Seriously. Pass on him.

Judging what you said about him when you asked how he feels about you, that's avoidence. He's not being coy,a nd don't try to read anything into that that would be about you. He's a Cancer with Libra Mars - he doesn't want to deal with this, so instead he's vague, noncommital and nonconfrontational.

posted September 05, 2005 09:35 PM              

I told him at first I wanted to be settled financially before moving forward with him, then i go off with someone else. I could see in his face that he thought I didn't trust him or I had trust issues to do that. I told him I do trust him and that made him relax a bit. But he called me on that change of heart. I agreed it was weird but I suddenly needed affectionate and he was out of town for two weeks.

He seemed mad that I remember that. Anyway I want us to get back on track but now his mother is here. I feel again, its' better to wait until his career is where he wants it to be, in another month, but seriously I feel like being affectionate before than and I am bad at control.

I have found that when I want someone really bad I do result to controls, jealousy, distance, power struggles, and they just waste time. I prefer to state my case directly now, and he seems very honest and willing to do the same. Still, though he is not being affectionate and seems thin and more nervous these days than usual.

It's true he must have stuff going on that he won't tell me but I like to get affectionate and then talk about my problems, I get the feeling he is that way too, and that he'd feel more comfortable close to me to talk. Not sex, just cuddling.

Why I get this into my head I don't know but I feel it very strongly that he wants to talk that way.

The composite is pretty good, I would think Venus in the 3rd would be very cuddly too as I dated a Gemini Venus, Cancer Sun before and he was super affectionate. We do have composite Pluto square Venus which can be hard.

Possibly I have hurt him too much with my inconsistent nature, and emphasis on cuddling versus kissing. In my family we hugged and cuddled but rarely kissed, and I am not as comfortable with kissing a man in public as some women are. I am TRYING to get over this.

I am being patient and not dating anyone else to try and get over this emotionally. If it's the case that he is damaged and not right for me, I will feel it eventually and he will move on. I don't want to complicate my feelings even more by getting impatient or worrying.

It seems I am am an affection crazed person, as the Aquarius used to say he couldn't stand not being able to touch me whenever he wanted, and now that statement doesn't sound so arrogant. I can understand that better.

Being taught lessons is great, but it's better to be able to connect back at the right time. He was the first one I liked after my last b/f, so it was hard to adapt as quickly as I could. I am learning.

What do others do here?
Do you kiss a lot, or save kissing for someone you are really connected to?

posted September 06, 2005 11:45 AM              

You said that he is doing the whole distance thing just to test you.I don't particularly agree,I think he could be fearing the strong person you are.He probably resents people making emoional demands on him and likes to keep things light.

posted September 06, 2005 12:08 PM              

Not hijacking this post but same question with little changes.

posted September 06, 2005 12:20 PM              

and belive me , if i had been at his place , i would have been the same as he is .

as i understand , it's a bit of coldness , bit of caustiouness .

caustious , i dont think i need to explain why !

cold , b'cos u hurted his ego with a simple thing as a kiss ( if u didn't want it , u should have explained the family logic that u gave us) .

have i missed out on anything?

and there is no doubt he is testing your loyalty , not in the sense that he distrusts u but ofcourse he is not cpompletly sure .

you are dead right , if he meets someone showing more affection and being more forth right , he is gone !!!!!!!!!!!

i am not sure if i can really tell , if u appeal to him or not , its very difficult to understand b'cos they are courteous to even who they hate . you are friend or may be a bit more than that , he is sure going to value more than anyone else , that makes your task a bit more difficult .

it'll be basically your instinct .

so its not more a question of desire but more of a pride.

lastly my feeling is , if he is insisting , he likes u , he sure does .

the answer to all this is a quiet evening , even in the presence of his mother ( mothers are important for us but we are independent people , dont go according to the conservative mindset about cancers, ok)talk straight with emotions ( if u can ) and u will solve the riddle in seconds .

just talk straight , say whatever u have felt like all this while , everything , your inhibitions , your curiosity , your way of thinking and doing , everything , it 'll help him connect .
and lastly give him a kisssssssssss if u can ( but ofcourse tell him why u were averse to the idea before hand )

so good luck !

posted September 06, 2005 12:20 PM              

and i am jusdt anovice at astrology so i dont how much gemstar is right but i'll add my bit ,the way water and earth and even fires see the realtion is quite differnt the way airs see it .

posted September 06, 2005 12:29 PM              

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Gemini sun, Cancer rising, mercury in Gemini, moon in Taurus *29, venus in Taurus, mars in Libra

"You must live in the infinite blackness that exists when I close my eyes. I see you when I fall asleep, I see you when I dream."

posted September 08, 2005 08:00 PM              

He said it was always hard to get a kiss of me so he's stopped trying. I kissed him first and got a few kisses in before he told me that. He seemed really happy and I tried a new approach, where I took him out to a great restaurant and asked him to take a walk with him.

So it seems he was just waiting for the right time, good thing that came along!