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Author Topic:   Are Venus in Leo men cold?
sthenri
unregistered
posted September 05, 2005 05:11 PM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
My question is because I am currently dating a sweet but not very affectionate Cancer,
Of course we have been up and down this summer, and I dated an Aquarius for a while who is now MIA. I told the Aqua all about my feelings for the Cancer up front, (and vice versa) but that the Cancer was not into me, however the Aqua was jealous underneath. I told the Cancer I had a fling with the Aqua who was not for me. I love Venus in Aqua, but I am not sure anymore about Venus in Pisces.

Now The Cancer has spent most of his time with his family and has told me he is gone every holiday too. That leaves maybe one weekend or two weekends a month we can see each other. My question is will this be enough?

I know he is testing my loyalty, and stability as his last g/f was unstable and ran off with another guy before he could be with her. It was long distance relationship and she said he couldn't commit, although he was actually trying to find a job in her area. When he moved she had already left. He wants a patient woman, to settle down with but doesn't know if our personalities jell.

Also I refused him on several occasions when he wanted kisses because I prefer not to kiss until I am emotionally involved and I didn't know him that well. Now the only time he will kiss me is once at night after he drops me off, he tilts his head once, pecks and goes. Nothing like at first.

So I know he has career issues, he is trying for a better job and he is a teacher so he is a little careful with money and worried I want more than he has to offer, and family issues, he is devoted to his mother who he visits twice a year for a month at a time. And she lives in another country.

And he is not seeing anyone but I believe if he does meet someone else, he may break it off if I don't start encouraging him to be more affectionate soon.

Is this a case of wounded pride? or lack of desire? Am I just not appealing to him? I hate this awful feeling of never knowing what to do or say to turn this man on. I can't feed him, he likes to order his own food and feed me, he doesn't appreciate advice, and doesn't act like he needs me at all. But insists he likes me and doesn't want anyone else. What do I do?

When I ask if he has feelings for me, he says feelings about what exactly? When I ask if he wants to date other people, he says I never date anyone else are you trying to give me a nervous breakdown?

Thanks,
him
Cancer Sun/2nd house
Taurus Moon/11th house trine Uranus
Leo Venus/3rd house conjunct Mercury
Gemini rising
Libra Mars/5th house

Me
Taurus Sun/6th house
Cancer Moon/8th house
Aries Venus/5th house
Gemini Mercury/7th house Opp Sag Mars

Is is a case of our moons clashing? he is very bossy in a firm way, Saturn is in the 10th in Pisces. He is a professor of latin languages.
he has been a huge help in my career, but is romance a good idea?
Right now he is the coldest person I have ever seen, since this my first Venus in Leo is this normal? Or am I used to Venus in Pisces sloppy romantic craziness?

Thanks,
Natasha

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Loggerhead
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posted September 05, 2005 05:28 PM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I can't imagine Venus in Leo cold, and in addition to that in 3rd house... I would maybe look toward the Moon. I think Moon in Taurus is very cautious? Especially if he has been, perhaps in his view, rebuffed by you (i.e. the kissing).

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LILYGIRL
unregistered
posted September 05, 2005 05:40 PM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
My husband has Venus in Leo..a Leo stellium in fact. And believe it or not he is the most detached cold person around. LOL. Yes, despite the LEOs! think however that this is related to his Saturn conjunct Ascendant in CAPRICORN. All that Leo pride mixed up with ever-restrained Saturn in sometimes bossy Capricorn is a very staid, very tough set up. He also has PLUTO Virgo, not so helpful when tossed in with the others.

I only know 2 Taurus moons. They are not too cold or detached ones, more like contained.

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Mystic Gemini
unregistered
posted September 05, 2005 05:45 PM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
You will have to be affectionate. Trust me.


------------------
Gemini sun, Cancer rising, mercury in Gemini, moon in Taurus *29, venus in Taurus, mars in Libra

"You must live in the infinite blackness that exists when I close my eyes. I see you when I fall asleep, I see you when I dream."

- Talib Kweli

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GemStar
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posted September 05, 2005 05:46 PM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
What do YOU want from this relationship?
I do not feel this is a very snuggly connection. Perhaps temporary companionship...however-why bother? It does not sound like either one of you are having your needs met...something feels 'off'.

Where in the synastry is there a mis-connect? Or is it simply a lack of synastry? Obviously more than just an issue with his Venus. The whole picture sounds dull and lacking in passion. Do you agree?

GemStar

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Loggerhead
unregistered
posted September 05, 2005 05:53 PM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Yes, I was going to add -- you beat me to it, Liligirl -- look at Saturn. Definitely, Saturn can restrain people big time, depending. Actually, it doesn't sound like he cares very much about you, sorry to sound so negative. But I would be wary of someone who puts family visits first. (That goes to show what my attitude toward family is, I guess. lol.)

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Gemini Nymph
unregistered
posted September 05, 2005 08:14 PM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Natasha,

There's no need to complicate this. He sounds like damaged goods and is simply emotionally unavailable to you or anyone else. Seriously. Pass on him.

Judging what you said about him when you asked how he feels about you, that's avoidence. He's not being coy,a nd don't try to read anything into that that would be about you. He's a Cancer with Libra Mars - he doesn't want to deal with this, so instead he's vague, noncommital and nonconfrontational.

With a Taurus moon, if he's acting like that, he has emotional issues, big ones and ones he's not going to get over anytime soon. Sad, but you can't change him.

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Loggerhead
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posted September 05, 2005 08:53 PM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I couldn't have said it better... and won't try.

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sthenri
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posted September 05, 2005 09:35 PM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Well, I am feeling a bit guilty as I put him off earlier in the summer, he was very affectionate but mentioned another girl he had just stopped dating, and being physical with two weeks earlier. I felt that was too soon and he agreed. But then he got colder gradually. Another thing is that I did go off and have a fling and he would say sarcastic things about that before understanding that I wanted to go forward with him. ( I feel it was better to have the fling with the Aqua otherwise I would have romanticized the connection).

I told him at first I wanted to be settled financially before moving forward with him, then i go off with someone else. I could see in his face that he thought I didn't trust him or I had trust issues to do that. I told him I do trust him and that made him relax a bit. But he called me on that change of heart. I agreed it was weird but I suddenly needed affectionate and he was out of town for two weeks.

He seemed mad that I remember that. Anyway I want us to get back on track but now his mother is here. I feel again, its' better to wait until his career is where he wants it to be, in another month, but seriously I feel like being affectionate before than and I am bad at control.

I have found that when I want someone really bad I do result to controls, jealousy, distance, power struggles, and they just waste time. I prefer to state my case directly now, and he seems very honest and willing to do the same. Still, though he is not being affectionate and seems thin and more nervous these days than usual.

It's true he must have stuff going on that he won't tell me but I like to get affectionate and then talk about my problems, I get the feeling he is that way too, and that he'd feel more comfortable close to me to talk. Not sex, just cuddling.

Why I get this into my head I don't know but I feel it very strongly that he wants to talk that way.

The composite is pretty good, I would think Venus in the 3rd would be very cuddly too as I dated a Gemini Venus, Cancer Sun before and he was super affectionate. We do have composite Pluto square Venus which can be hard.

Possibly I have hurt him too much with my inconsistent nature, and emphasis on cuddling versus kissing. In my family we hugged and cuddled but rarely kissed, and I am not as comfortable with kissing a man in public as some women are. I am TRYING to get over this.

I am being patient and not dating anyone else to try and get over this emotionally. If it's the case that he is damaged and not right for me, I will feel it eventually and he will move on. I don't want to complicate my feelings even more by getting impatient or worrying.

It seems I am am an affection crazed person, as the Aquarius used to say he couldn't stand not being able to touch me whenever he wanted, and now that statement doesn't sound so arrogant. I can understand that better.

Being taught lessons is great, but it's better to be able to connect back at the right time. He was the first one I liked after my last b/f, so it was hard to adapt as quickly as I could. I am learning.

What do others do here?
Do you kiss a lot, or save kissing for someone you are really connected to?

Natasha

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Tigerlily
Knowflake

Posts: 59
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Registered: Apr 2009

posted September 05, 2005 10:10 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Tigerlily     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I'm a Cancer with Leo Venus, Virgo Moon and Aquarius Ascendent. I'm extremely affectionate and cuddly...but it takes a long time to build enough trust for me to get to that point. It also took a lot to get me to the kissing point because I felt kissing meant more of a commitment and I needed trust and a deeper connection to get me there. I'm married now so things are different but I can tell you, if you like this guy enough, give him a chance because with Cancer Sun, Taurus Moon, and Leo Venus he could turn out to be really loving, passionate and affectionate...once he trusts you enough to show it. It's all up to how much you like him. If you showed inconsistency and had a fling with someone else while you were in the flirting stages with him he probably has trust issues about you. Give him time and if you want him show him reasons to trust you. Once he loosens up he might turn out to be an amazing man for you. Your chart looks very compatible in my opinion.

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gert
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posted September 06, 2005 11:45 AM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I am not sure about what you said about you and him not clicking but I see in him someone who is not sure about waht they want most of the times.He lacks stability and is more intellectual then sensual and does tend to view things from a distance then jumping into the action.

You said that he is doing the whole distance thing just to test you.I don't particularly agree,I think he could be fearing the strong person you are.He probably resents people making emoional demands on him and likes to keep things light.

You want direction and purpose,he wants stimulation and adventure.I could be wrong but that's what I see.

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Battle of Evermore
Newflake

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Registered: Dec 2010

posted September 06, 2005 11:49 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Battle of Evermore     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I'm going to answer your title question with a yes. I have that placement, and I'm one of those people who are are somewhat more emotional than they look. As far as relationships, though I am not a man, I can often be one of those who says, "But... I don't want to get serious... we've only known eachother for 5 years... that can't possibly be long enough."

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freebird
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posted September 06, 2005 12:08 PM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Natasha

Not hijacking this post but same question with little changes.

Are Venus in Sag women cold?

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cancerrg
unregistered
posted September 06, 2005 12:20 PM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
i am, cancer -sun, taurus-moon , leo- venus and virgo-mars. and my dec.-libra.

and belive me , if i had been at his place , i would have been the same as he is .

as i understand , it's a bit of coldness , bit of caustiouness .

caustious , i dont think i need to explain why !

cold , b'cos u hurted his ego with a simple thing as a kiss ( if u didn't want it , u should have explained the family logic that u gave us) .

have i missed out on anything?

and there is no doubt he is testing your loyalty , not in the sense that he distrusts u but ofcourse he is not cpompletly sure .


you are dead right , if he meets someone showing more affection and being more forth right , he is gone !!!!!!!!!!!

i am not sure if i can really tell , if u appeal to him or not , its very difficult to understand b'cos they are courteous to even who they hate . you are friend or may be a bit more than that , he is sure going to value more than anyone else , that makes your task a bit more difficult .

it'll be basically your instinct .

so its not more a question of desire but more of a pride.

lastly my feeling is , if he is insisting , he likes u , he sure does .

the answer to all this is a quiet evening , even in the presence of his mother ( mothers are important for us but we are independent people , dont go according to the conservative mindset about cancers, ok)talk straight with emotions ( if u can ) and u will solve the riddle in seconds .

just talk straight , say whatever u have felt like all this while , everything , your inhibitions , your curiosity , your way of thinking and doing , everything , it 'll help him connect .
and lastly give him a kisssssssssss if u can ( but ofcourse tell him why u were averse to the idea before hand )

so good luck !

today is the day lady ! no waiting ,mother or no mother !

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cancerrg
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posted September 06, 2005 12:20 PM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
no offences !

and i am jusdt anovice at astrology so i dont how much gemstar is right but i'll add my bit ,the way water and earth and even fires see the realtion is quite differnt the way airs see it .

so my feeling is , you should go for it !

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Mystic Gemini
unregistered
posted September 06, 2005 12:29 PM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Alot of my ex's have been cancers. I'm surprised we didn't cuddle eachother to death Lmfao.

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Gemini sun, Cancer rising, mercury in Gemini, moon in Taurus *29, venus in Taurus, mars in Libra

"You must live in the infinite blackness that exists when I close my eyes. I see you when I fall asleep, I see you when I dream."

- Talib Kweli

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sthenri
unregistered
posted September 08, 2005 08:00 PM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Okay so he is cuddly after all, but he tends to cuddle all at once. That is once he gets started it's tough to stop him! I do have to go to work sometime:>

He said it was always hard to get a kiss of me so he's stopped trying. I kissed him first and got a few kisses in before he told me that. He seemed really happy and I tried a new approach, where I took him out to a great restaurant and asked him to take a walk with him.

So it seems he was just waiting for the right time, good thing that came along!

Thanks,
Natasha

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