posted October 12, 2005 07:40 PM              

The Aqua/Leo Moon I was dating made up with me, and we went to the movies with his two daughters Gemini and Libra. The Libra is his favourite, she clings. While driving he said soemthing to give the impression that when the Gem was born he had to give up many material things that he had before. She was quiet and I felt bad for her. She is born near my b-day, May 25th and she is honest and assertive, reasons I relate to her.

So is this a reason to be less attracted to someone? Maybe he was just honest about facts and it came out wrong?

We had a fight and he ended up accusing me of being less than perfect, and yet judgemental. I never said I was perfect but I do expect loyalty. Am I trying to justify my attraction or justify my feelings on this because of my sympathy for his daughter (she's 11).

Additionally sexually we have issues, around communication and the way he would allude to sex in front of other people. I don't mind the sex talk part but I don't like innuendos and metaphors, it's very confusing and hypocritical.

posted October 12, 2005 07:43 PM              

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Gemini sun, Cancer rising, mercury in Gemini, moon in Taurus *29, venus in Taurus, mars in Libra

posted October 12, 2005 08:44 PM              

And we are both geminis.

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Gemini sun, Cancer rising, mercury in Gemini, moon in Taurus *29, venus in Taurus, mars in Libra

posted October 12, 2005 09:07 PM              

What he said is not as big a problem as the fact he favors one child above the other.

posted October 13, 2005 06:02 AM              

I am not sure about you saying he is being honest and the facts came out wrong, parents never look back at money spent or financial libalities concerning their children. Your children are YOU, how can one think that? Parenthood is about unconditional love, I am sorry to say this man is uncapable of that, and it is obvious through your relationship with him as well, you said he was judgmental, etc etc.

sthenri, when there is a doubt, there is no doubt.

posted October 13, 2005 09:17 AM              

This dude has serious issues involving control.

posted October 13, 2005 10:10 AM              

yeah, what's with that??????

posted October 13, 2005 10:40 AM              

I can see a lot of negativity it's true with his Venus in Pisces trine neptune. It seems Pisces always shows the negative side as well as the fun side.

His Sun is conjunct Ascendant and mars.

posted October 13, 2005 11:08 AM              

Do you really need to ask girl.......you deserve better, much better......run........

posted October 13, 2005 03:25 PM              

At work, men are obsessed with work, or their children, it's tough to find good male friends, and this one is comparably speaking undeniably loyal to one woman.

So what do I do stick with ones that every woman wants? It seems they all need some sort of validation, insecure, just depends on where it sticks out and with this one it's his social standing-not unusual.

I don't want everything from him, or vice versa, trouble is I have already stirred the pot physically speaking so it's hard to go back. If I just cut it off there will be nasty feelings again.

posted October 13, 2005 08:10 PM              

I find it really sad.

kiwi x

posted October 13, 2005 08:21 PM            

I really do feel where you are coming from. It's hard contemplating giving up someone that makes you feel somewhat secure (in that he won't cheat on you). Trusting the fate of your heart to the unknown is terrifying. I was in the same boat with my last relationship. I KNEW it wasn't right from the start - and for much less poignant reasons than the ones you've just given us. My gut just told me that my Sag ex was not meant for me. But he made me feel so safe, and appreciated, I couldn't summon up the courage to extract myself from that situation for a long long time. When he ended it I was both heartbroken and relieved. Are you familiar with the Hanged Man symbolism in Tarot? Sometimes great sacrifice is required to achieve mighty blessings. Or the death card? Sometimes we have to experience death to know rebirth. In your case, I wonder if your gut already knows that this is wrong and has been trying to tell you something. You just have to find the courage to see it, accept it, and act on it. Remember that at the end of every death and every hanged man is the promise of new beginnings. Hang in there girl! You’ve had a hard road lately but soon this valley you are in will come to an end, and after that you’ll reveal on the mountain tops yet again.

posted October 13, 2005 08:59 PM              

my mom verbally abuses me to no end, but i still *choose* to live with her, because i know she needs me...i know his gem may be too small to choose that, but maybe she thinks of her father as this great guy and he redeems himself afterwards, or apologizes etc. some parents can make pretty big misktakes, the point is, are they forgiven afterwards? do they take care of their children in the end, and do their children seem to have healthy emotional lives afterwards? or, are they scarred forever?

posted October 13, 2005 09:03 PM              

Right now Boston is in a serious recession and jobs are tough to find. Working in NYC again for a year would open up doors for me, unless..and I get this feeling..unless the Aqua and I could be a team and work on the future together. He did say he was thinking about the future and wants to spend time with me in Boston because that's where he works. He also wants to build a house an hour north of Boston for his children.

I could go with all that, except that he is impatient for the good times to start now and I want to build a future with someone who is on the same page. He starts to distrust me as he thinks I am all about career and then he will get sarcastic and push me away towards work. So he maybe still in love with his ex wife, or secretly macho and hates the idea of me working.

My ex was like that, all soft soap and then later...a real neanderthal who wanted me home all the time but couldn't say it. I am worried that's what he really wants, home, children, more children, and I am done with that. I have told him this but he is stubborn and refuses to discuss it.

On the other hand I know air risings and I usually have a very good friendship and get along day to day better than most, I feel my accomplishments are respected and I have managed to work hard on my career with this man's help. He respects me deep down I can tell. Love I don't know.

It's hard to work on love and respect at the same time but experience has told me love without respect doesn't last.

Still that doesn't leave much time for romance, and I can feel he is getting stressed with my timetables and his ex wife, and daughters schedules as he drives everyone everywhere, allowing himself to be walked over a bit so he can complain.

I like him and I am attracted to his physical style which is healthy and strong, but it's a bit sexual which scares me sometimes due to past experiences. Even if he is just holding me I can jump a little but that's my nature.

He says he's scared of me, but that means he's scared of the future with me, and he gets nervous. If I could find a way to make him less nervous without sex or drinking it could help. I have tried all sorts of things but really I am no match for his insecurity and have to accept it.

It's a functioning relationship, better than most, and I like doing small things for him as he has done many things for me. I am motherly and he is fatherly so we battle over who does more for who but he likes to win and that's okay with me at this point in my life. He has bought me many gifts and feels unappreciated sometimes, but I don't know how to show gratitude easily, only to call and say I don't want to fight let's be friends and then see him again.

Then we fight again, because I forget to be easygoing after a hard day's work.

I have been through many deaths this year, I have moved twice and lost two relationships, cut off contact with my mother and started a new job. I know about rebirth, but it gets rough.

posted October 13, 2005 09:06 PM              

I'd say it's harder in New York City right now finding jobs. The economy hasn't been so good after 9/11.

Upstate New York is a different story though.

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Gemini sun, Cancer rising, mercury in Gemini, moon in Taurus *29, venus in Taurus, mars in Libra