posted October 17, 2005 03:09 AM              

Essentially I've got a ton of 9th house Leo in my veins(Sun, Mecury, Mars, and a 0' Virgo Moon).

I feel there's something with women I just don't pick up on. I try to calm down my 1st house Sag Uranus, stay in touch with my Cancer venus without falling in clingy onesided love at first site, but I just don't see myself as ever being....effective

Usually it goes like this. I'll be in a social situation, I find some girl who just wows me when I see her, and then try to talk to her. Yet eather I come on too strong, and no mutual feels are made, or(And I hate this the most) nothing really happens. While I'm falling for this girl next to me I can't even figure out how to make some headway, or at least a sign if they are mutualy interested.

posted October 17, 2005 03:30 AM              

By the law of probability, you will have clicked with the 3rd or 4th girl by using these sure shot tips.

posted October 17, 2005 03:42 AM              

welcome

well u do indeed have quite a bit of fire and in particular leo in your chart! Not that that bothers me! The more intense the man, the better; but some women can be intimidated. I think the following might help:

1. Leo stellium in 9th sq. AC: you are right about coming off too strong, maybe you flirt inappropriately, with a kind of initiative that very few women will feel comfortable with. That, plus saturn in the first, will definitely give off double signals that will confuse women. Don't restrict yourself; but present the sunniest side without seeming domineering. Watch your body language closely--dont intimidate with hand movements, touching, leaning, and most of all, that booming leo voice that can scare a couple of young kids into crying.

2. Have you gone out with women who are of different cultures? Try that, because it will be gratifying to your 9th house stellium, at the same time it may be easier to establish that connection. I have a ninth house stellium as well; and find that foreign men understand me much better.

3. Your chart really has a dearth of air signs; if I read correctly you just have a Jupiter singleton in Aqua. Even that is a fixed singleton; so you need to be more chatty and less overpowering in your approach. Try making women laugh instead of approaching them seriously to begin with; be earnest and smile a lot, lower your tone of voice and prune up your ability to let the woman do the talking: maybe you skip the flirtation, and small talk altogether but this is an important air element of flirtation that often helps a lot.

4. There is also a dearth of mutables in your chart (neptune in sag being the only one). Try once again to let the woman take the lead in the conversation sometimes, try to get her to talk about herself. Sometimes you may carry the conversation around trying to tell about how you feel too much; instead, the best way to invoke feelings of interest on the other side is to let the woman know that you are interested in knowing about her. Ask a lot of questions, let her act like an alpha female at times; ask her where she hangs out, would she mind you joining her?

5. Self restriction: saturn sq. merc/sun/mars: don't always check what you say, allow yourself to goof up, make mistakes, and laugh at what you say. Dont be too worried about appearance too; the worry will inhibit your charisma from getting to the surface.

6. Jup opp. Leo stellium: Your personality may feel at odds with having a good time, this goes beyond women and relationships. Learn to kick back, let go, and let unexpected things happen: life isnt about planning, but about knowing what to do when your plans go wrong.

btw dont guilt urself over that fire stellium; personally i leo men.

posted October 17, 2005 05:42 AM            

quote:

---

LOOK ONLY AT THE EYES

---

posted October 17, 2005 07:10 AM            

by the looks of your chart, haha you could be my prince charming

posted October 17, 2005 08:21 AM              

That way your choices are more reliable: then you can get romantic.

posted October 17, 2005 04:40 PM              

funny stuff:>

one thing I can't get is when you personally are into someone and the other person can't pick it up, if you are really into someone else, why wouldn't she feel it? is she not showing it because you are not available or she is not available?

about half the women out there are married or attached, and the rest are trying. If you come off as attached elsewhere, then that's a big turn off and if you don't say if you are or not it looks fake.

I am single but don't look it, and I brush off men who are interested if they don't tell me their status in a straightforward way. I have been involved with two Scorpio ascendants and both were not exactly unattached, but not exactly interested in broadcasting that fact.

So, I assume since I am slow to the game most women are very aware of the attached male mingling, and are slow to react: it's called being coy, and flirty to draw you out.

Once you show off who you really are (attached or unattached) you will get a lot more eye contact.

That is the reason why when you see a boatload of women around a guy he's just broken up with someone. They know he's single and are sympathizing, or competing for his attention. The attention doesn't last unless he's a nice one.

I get the feeling you are not that assertive so you are not looking for an assertive woman. The coy ones are very timid and expect to be asked out traditionally, wine, flowers, dinner, to feel secure. Then once they are secure, they open up.

If you ask a woman out for a drink and she says yes, she is interested in a man making the moves, if she seems disinterested it's because she is more assertive and wants to make the moves. Plenty of women prefer to ask the man out because it feels more right-I do. (Sag rising)

Above all when you ask a woman to spend time with you, make it seem FUN, let her know she will have a great time and won't regret it. Be up and bubbly even if just for a few moments before she gets hooked on you. Tell her she won't regret it if she takes a small chance on you!

If that doesn't work you may prefer assertive women. Then you game plan has to change to being coy, and flirty, that is act confident that someone wants you, and be available for any kind of social interaction later, dinner, movie, drinks, it can be easy.

Once you decide whether you are basically assertive or not, you will find someone special.

posted October 17, 2005 05:13 PM              

Eight welcome!
You know, I used to have trouble with the eye thing too. If I didn’t know you, I find it hard to look straight in the eyes. But why not give it a try?...but in a gentle way…hmmm, maybe you can practice in the mirror? You being a Leo and all I’m kidding… yes I know - bad bad joke…it’a just my sister is a Leo, and I have to drag her from the mirror - but then she usually does the same to me…so hey.

“I'm just worried about my eye contact seeming excesive, or like I'm just detached and inhumanly probing them.” that Virgo Moon should help you out in that area…it works with me. I sweat emotion, yet can play ice queen. And don’t worry about that probing thing - I doubt anyone really thinks that...tho maybe you shouldn’t look them up and down lol with my eyes…I avoid that at all costs.

Maybe you should practice with strangers, like if you’re in a shop…look the cashiers straight in the eye and smile. I think if you just stare, it could be a tad weird. It’s hard at first, but it gets easier.
Or how about only smiling slightly with someone you like - that teasing kinda smile - you know what I mean? some people are really good at it.

posted October 17, 2005 10:41 PM              

I'm an Aries. Normaly me and Leo men should go well together, but I've had quite a bit of trouble with Leos.

From my point of view..(I really can't say if other girls feel the same way) but I'd prefer to be friends with a guy first. I don't like being approached romantically first up. It bothers me. Leos ALWAYS approach romantically. You know they want sex, period. You can sense it..anyone can, it's in the air..and it's something I can't stand lol

I see most people as potential friends. This might have to do with my 11th house Sun/Venus. When I meet someone new, whether they're a girl or a guy, whether they're drop dead gorgeous or not good looking at all, I don't think romance..I always think friendship.. I've never had a Leo approach me in friendship. A lot of times I've actually said, if I was a guy, I'd probably get on fine with leo men..because then they could see me as a PERSON..as a friend..as another human being, not a sex object.

This might not be true for all Leos..but the leos I know have a real blockage in seeing women, specially attractive women as friends. It's nearly impossible for them. I know that a lot of you might say, this is a male thing period - not a Leo thing specifically. But I get this from Leos every single time.

So this is the main thing, that bothers me..

The second thing I have a problem with is the ego. I want to feel respected and Leos have this way of looking down on absolutely everyone..even when they don't do it on purpose. I always sense that they feel superior and if I'm not treated as an equal, and I sense this supercilious, overly confident, arogant crap in the air..I can't even stand being around it , so I walk away.

I also find the best approach with anyone is to just be cool and calm and be yourself. Leos tend to put on an act, it's always a massive overly confident display of macho mania..and it just doesn't do it for me (other girls may feel the same).

posted October 17, 2005 10:47 PM              

Scorpio ascendants and staring. Okay here is the unvarnished truth which I was avoiding. They stare and don't smile, it's scary. Last time one did this to me, he stood in front of me and stared, and stared and probed my eyes by looking from one eye to the other as if I were changing in front of him, no smile, just stare. I tried thanking him for the attention, guilty look, then staring and shifty eyes again. Finally everyone around me left feeling uncomfortable, I am feeling scared. I smiled a BIG smile, till my face felt it would crack and nodded and said Thank you, Thank you, Thank you, GOODBYE! and put my head down and ignored him for the rest of the evening in the place.

He kept looking at me but I ignored him by talking to someone else as everyone around me was now staring at me to see what the hell was wrong with me. Some of those people still dont' talk to me!

Needless to say I hate him. Okay its' not that dramatic but I hate being stared at like that, at least smile. I felt my smile would go on forever while everyone stared. I even felt he was going to grab me any second.

When any man touches me lightly with a look like this I know to flinch and look at his hand and then look back at him with a cold look. When I get that look and a touch, it means he is going to grab me or act macho and hostile in some way.

At work we have a Scorpio guy, very tough, anyway I always have to back up as he grabs my arm when he is looking at me and it bugs me. I feel he is trying to affect me, manipulate my emotions to get more work out of me. I do feel worked over by the Scorpio ascendant STARE. It's my question, what are you looking for? because you aren't going to get it over here, I'm not that easy!

I have seen these stares before in bars and pubs and usually it's trouble for me. Cute and blue eyes or not, always trouble, sexual trouble.

posted October 20, 2005 12:37 PM              

I think I understand what you mean about coming on too strong on the one hand, and on the other, not sure of yourself.

Natasha is so on point when it comes to Venus in Cancer. It's like, some of us have really extroverted energies in our Chart, and then theirs other energy which makes us use caution or totally miss the boat (Cancer Mooners like me are notorious)...

But you know what? When you are meeting someone for the first time, no one is thinking about all this stuff. So it just comes down to some basics, so you get your foot in the door so you can get to know each other.

First of all - when YOU are approached by someone who you can tell kind of likes you, what have they done which turns YOU off?

I start with that because the person who feels they are being turned down have done a lot of turning down themselves.

Think about it. Is it if they come across as too nervous? Not sure of themselves? Not dressed the way you like? Etc...

Now just understand, everyone else is doing the same thing all day long. So you MUST take away the emphasis on what is the "correct" thing, and just act naturally! Be yourself.

I think the biggest attraction to a woman is when a man feels comfortable with themselves. Like if they put their arm around us, we feel like he knows what he's doing. Security. That kind of thing.

They won't sense "security" with you if they sense you are unsure of yourself.

How does it make you feel when someone who likes you comes across uncomfortable with themselves?

posted October 20, 2005 03:46 PM              

people want to be your friend if you are nice and friendly for no reason.

posted October 20, 2005 04:11 PM              

My man better shower, Leo or not! I have very sensitive nose and any hint of yuk
and I will throw up.

Oh, and I agree with Natasha... 100% true.

posted October 20, 2005 06:01 PM              

quote:

---

Kind of vain topic dont' you think?
what do women want from leo men? we don't want anything from you..do you have something to offer??

---

that reminds me of a leo gal i knew , when a guy would ask "wanna go out?" she would say, "where to? and are u going to pay?" ah priceless.

posted October 20, 2005 06:02 PM              

First off, Scorpio rising has a tendency to come off as very calculating when first meeting people. Asking probing questions and holding themselves back, and then sharing what they are doing to achieve a motive.

Not cute and not attractive on a first meeting. But they do do it. *shrugs shoulders*

The voice intonations are often low and slow too. The eyes remain steady and not initally friendly. This can come off as creepy to people and the natural thing for respondents to do is back off and wait.

This is not the kind of reaction you want when all you're trying to do is say Hi and ask them out on a date!

Try to keep things light and work on your candor as someone who is approachable and easy to talk to. It takes the stress off of the girl because even if she senses that you're nervous (most guys are when they are interested and making a move), if you're personable without being terribly overbearing, she'll feel more inclined to chat a bit.

No biggie.

The other part is what do you look like???

But I won't get into that as everybody is different on that topic.

posted October 20, 2005 06:58 PM              

and we'd like if they could actually participate and do something themselves.

JK.

this thread title is too funnie