posted October 21, 2005 02:01 AM              

Anywho, due to connecting work and some mutual friends and relatives, they have somehow managed to keep crossing paths whenever she's in town. Knowing that my man and I are seriously involved, she nevertheless continued to send him racy and cute txts, which he and I both ignored. She and I were introduced to each other, and she stopped txting, on the basis that she 'liked me' (laughable, if you ask me).

Long story short, she decided to sleep with my man's brother, an Aquarian. Not wanting any more from that little incident, she regretted it, left him pining for a while, then returned back to work in another town.

Two years later she is back, and after a last few unsuccessful attempts at a social life with my man, she has managed to somehow forge a relationship with my man's OTHER brother, also an Aquarius, recently divorced from a Libran. We always throught this Aqua was smarter than that, but the Scorp has transfixed him somehow, it shows, he is not right with himself...claiming they're in love. My Geminian refuses to speak with her now, and she feels 'hurt' by that. Seeing she was tearing the family apart, I confronted her with the issue - wo which she just kept acting dumb, saying she didn't see ANY issues at all. She tends to remain nervous around me now, and avoids confrontation.

So what are your thoughts people? What to make of the motivations of this woman? Half the time, I am amused at her little games, but on the other hand, concerned for the brother. I do not dislike her as a person as such, but I cannot trust her with my man's brother, who is like my own. I find it hard to give her more of my mind, when I know he loves her, and I do want to respect his convictions and decisions, however stupid they really are.

posted October 21, 2005 06:42 AM              

Gems aren't all that into sex contrary to public opinion, they need much more, an assertive mate, a strong commitment.

It's a little hard for me to believe the gem guy didn't know he was leading her on to believe in him when he flirted with her, and therefore it's funny he is acting suprised at her interest. in a way he must like the attention and his brothers are turned on by it too. If they are getting something from each other than it's a free world. If it bothers your guy that much tell him to keep quiet for once and then the scorp won't pick up on the drama and make it important.

having been involved with gems before i know they can get very nervous and give off all sorts of feelings they don't have. it takes years of practice to figure this out and a scorp can be moody and insecure but not nervous so she doesn't understand your guy. If she acts nervous around you it's an act, but I am sure she doesn't want confrontation if she is busy being in love. Let her have her love because if it's truly love nothing bad can really happen, and if it's not love then she will move on.

It's ALWAYS up to the woman to move on, not the man, because men never truly move on without asking permission from the woman. If your gem was not with you he'd be on her and she knows it. That's not mean spirited that's life. It's always up to the woman to have enough guts to let go but we didn't all get that "lesson" in school. Your scorp missed the signals, or, made the gem feel inadequate, insecure, nervous or couldn't offer enough of what the he wanted.

So if you really want to help, rather than trying to be her friend which she isn't going to buy for a second, let her know how much you appreciate her interest in real love and express how supportive you are of a REAL relationship because you don't want to see your gem's brother get hurt.

Once you express your sincere attention, she will have no choice but to see that you are care about him as much as she does and that way she can bond with you in a way before accepting what is.

Moving on is easier said than done, and nobody moves on until they accept another reality. Because you are your guy's reality you dont' see that, but even though she is a woman and gives herself easily does not make her loose. Her feelings were played with and her self esteem has suffered. I have never met a Gem either who moved on until he or she had something else, another reality, secured.

that's relationships, nothing is perfect.
(aquas are great healers)

posted October 21, 2005 07:00 AM              

Ive a heavily laden Scorpio chart....and OMG have I had to work with myself, if you get my meaning. It has at times been a very long and hard battle, as my husband would testify....but sometimes, with age and experience we learn....I hope she does !!! You wouldnt happen to be a Scorp yerself would you girl......cos you feel a bit like one !!!

If I was you, Id be very p****** off, Scorpio or no Scorpio, she is very destructive if you ask me.....and I admire you for confronting her.....well done !!!

posted October 21, 2005 07:46 AM            

quote:

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Scorpio or no Scorpio, she is very destructive

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Well, I agree with Moonloon and SueG.
I dont think that Histrionix's guy 'gave off all sorts of feelings he did't have' only because he is a Gemini and the girl is in love only because she is a Scorpio (and all Scorpios are supposed to be deep, loyal, intense etc).
I have met Gems who were deep and loyal and Scorps who were unfaithful and shallow but could skilfully diguise it beneath their mystique.
By no means I want to offend Scorps or people who think otherwise, I just want to remind you that people are much more complex than their sun sign description, and we are here to acknowledge this! Why do we study astrology at all if it is much easier to label all astrosigns as those that are 'able to love' and those that are 'not able to love' or 'loyal' and 'not loyal' etc?
I will never agree that the person who sleeps with 2 brothers just to get closer to the 3rd who btw has a gf is in love! It makes no sense!

posted October 21, 2005 08:27 AM              

Even the most clingy delusional person will do this when faced with reality. I am disturbed to see the Man1 and I call him that because I don't know his name, has a partner who is defending him and fighting his battles for him. His g/f shouldn't be cleaning up his messes.

In any case the fewer dramas the better because love to some people is a sexual relationship based on need, and to some it is a mix of shared objectives and beliefs. Another idea, that is disturbing is that that she is viewed as giving herself to anyone...that she is spiritually degrading herself...who are we to judge how she feels? Is the main couple's relationship so perfect they can judge this woman's sexuality based on what they know?

I can't help feeling that there is some defensiveness here. Why should the one writing the original post have to defend HER man? She doesn't own him, he is after all an adult who can feed and take care of himself and in theory, tell off his ex's by himself. That would make the MOST sense.

And Peri, we don't know the entire story, how do we know if the scorp slept with 20 men or just two in 10 years? Why do you automatically believe she is not to be trusted in motivations? Why is it okay to call the Woman2 names but the original couple is "good", "pure" and blameless?

I have a disturbing feeling that there are a few mental games going on between the couple and that is part of their relationship. Why if the relationship is so strong, does the Man1 not go to Woman2 and tell her to get help away from his family?

The post has nothing to do with astrology and everything to do with sex and fear.

If you prefer I will use names such as
Man1, Man2, Man3, Woman1, Woman2...or something equally objective.

posted October 21, 2005 08:49 AM              

As far as your Gemini goes... I think she's a control freak and wants to affect him however she can. It's an ego thing for her. (is or was)

Why would she want to bother your Gemini if he's involved with you??

Eeeesshhh... some people just confuse me.

I'm pretty consumed with someone "while" we're together. Once it's over... it's over. May be all the uranus aspects I have (??)

posted October 21, 2005 08:58 AM              

I'm not saying this to make you think bad about your Gemini... I'm just saying that the ones that I dated... well, they were the ones that tried to keep things going.

The continued calling months after the break-up. One was dating someone else at the time. However, "I" made the decision to not pursue. It's still her responsiblity to realize that the Gemini was at the time involved with you... and she continued to call any way.

I'm just not attracted to someone that's even somewhat attached and is trying to "hook-up" with me behind the other persons back.

posted October 21, 2005 11:35 AM              

i appreciate your concern but i dont think it would be the right thing to create a drama with the scorp ( btw, she has already created it in your life)

lets assume , u go and confront the scorp and the realtion breaks up , are u sure your bro in law would be willingly to trust your judgement about his life wholeheartedly whole his life .
are u sure , u wont be judgeed later on.

posted October 21, 2005 09:10 PM              

People are entitled to happiness, no matter what route they took to get there. Thus, I understand there is a chance she is really in love this time, with brother #3. Hence I am respecting their r/ship, and so is my Gem (reluctantly, out of concern for both his bro's). The only thing that remains is to let live, and see how it grows.

A few notes to clear up the situation, especially to STHENRI - you have great insight, that's for sure. Note, though, that when I posted this, I tried to keep it SHORT, so of course I couldn't tell a detailed story.

I didn't write this post to defend my Gemini. I will say briefly that if I was the one who had to fend off all my man's admirers while he sat there and gloated, he wouldn't be my man. He has himself told her firmly he was not interested. And this was not when he had something secure to fall back on - after he left her, he was single for a year. After 2 years however, as I said, work and mutual friends caused that they crossed paths again, and she went all out on the contact. Once again, he re-affirmed he was not interested, but saw no reason why he should not see those friends socially just because she happened to want to hang there when she's in town.

I am just being honest here in knowflake territory when I say I still don't trust her motives 100%. I don't even fully think she wants my man anymore...I think her way of moving on was to clutch the next best thing - his brother(s). And that's what, as a person who deplores this sort of free assosiating, just peeves me off to see.

I won't try to force friendship with her, even though she tries with me. I can't pretend I love or hate her - I don't do either, I just am trying to understand her, and so is everyone else around her and Aqua 3. The reason I am even giving her the time of day is because there is now a very real chance that she will be a part of this family, and I don't want to have tensions forever. the Scorp and her Aqua 2 have isolated themselves a lot from everyone, but then pretend they don't see the issues.

I just think he's really not knowing what he's doing. I sense he wants to open up to me, but his loyalties are torn. I feel like he's trapped, but too proud to admit it.

I am not going to be responsible for solving this matter, guess I needed a place to express thoughts - yay Lindaland.

Peri, Sue G, Moon - I hope she's not mentally unstable, though emotionally, there are definite problems. Thanks for your thoughts. I have no problem with confrontation, but I understand when it's not appropriate anymore, and what's been said is said, you only get one go to really get your point across, and hopefully I've done so in the most non-judgemental way possible.

Again, thanks guys.

posted October 22, 2005 10:14 AM              

its the very cancer thing to care excessively for those that u love but my own experience says , we can't really change anyone even for the good , so let your brother take decisions himself .

posted October 22, 2005 09:48 PM              

In my experience, when Geminis really love, they love all the way, and you have to be prepared for the intensity and passion they are capable of. And open your heart and mind to learn what it is to spiritually and graciously love another human being.

I really think it depends on the individual couple, but I also do know a few other Cancers with Geminis, in very successful marriages and relationships.

In my experience, the Cancer has always lead the way, and depending on the chart I suppose, hasn't displayed all that much possessive behaviour. To answer your question further, in my relationship it's more the other way around also. He is more possessive, and I am somewhat here and there. I can't seem to stand still in one spot, emotionally or mentally, while he longs for stability. He has Moon in Aries, Gem rising. His issue is always - where are you, and who with, and why aren't you here, and you're gonna leave me...but those insecurities are a part of any relationship at some stage.

It works is both of you are willing to confront yourselves, learn about yourselfs from each other, and commit yourselves to growth. The ego truly has no room in love. Neither does selfishness and insecurity. I've learned to curb my giant ego a little, thanks to my Gem.
:P

posted October 23, 2005 05:41 PM              

I have seen plenty of happily married gems tho, and for quite a long time too, and they can still be flighty and progressive. i dont think that one has to be traditional, or have family as the number one priority, to create a healthy, happy and fun family environment. in fact most homes where at least one parent is an air sign, in my observation, have been much more open to children making their own choices. the negative side brings in , the lack of guidance that air parents tend to struggle with.

posted October 23, 2005 08:41 PM              

Well with mercury in Gemini on the 7th house here, maybe that's why I attract Cancers, they are so different from me. When I think of Cancers I think of silver spoons!

posted October 24, 2005 11:22 AM              

quote:

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In my experience, when Geminis really love, they love all the way, and you have to be prepared for the intensity and passion they are capable of. And open your heart and mind to learn what it is to spiritually and graciously love another human being.

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posted October 25, 2005 03:11 AM              

I have lots of air signs in my life, too, and my relationship history is Aquarius, Libra, Gemini. Funny, huh? We attract what we need.

posted October 25, 2005 10:31 AM              

even my own friend circle mainly comprises of water and air ppl . ( i dont really attract aquas but i have three very close ppl but then i must say they were much faster than gems in getting to my close circle) though i dont have much air in my chart. no aqua, no gem infact.

quote:

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As far as it being hard to see the Gem's emotions - that's because they're all over the place, and they feel so much so quickly, yet never permanently. This is one sign that you must be easy going with, or you will never get near enough to understand, they won't relax if you don't.

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