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Author Topic:   Hell's Bells, I thought the Mr. A. Saga Was Over - Not By A Long Chalk
ariestiger
unregistered
posted October 27, 2005 05:51 PM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I went to see the solicitors today to arrange my divorce from Mr. Aqua. We are supposed to be divorcing amicably. His solicitor had sent my solicitor a letter stating the terms we had agreed verbally and hoped all parties were happy so that we could proceed, etc. etc.

The person dealing with my divorce was off sick so they asked me to wait at reception whilst they found someone who could deal with the case. Whlst I was waiting they gave me the abovementioned letter, which I read through. Most things seemed fine, EXCEPT -

for the fact that listed under expenses to be covered from the sale of our house was the following: OUTSTANDING MORTGAGE.
Now, I was very intrigued to know what this meant, because a couple of months ago Mr. Aqua had been badgering me to sign a mortgage that he wanted to take out. Because I was preparing to split up with him I said No, No, and No. I did not at ANY stage give my agreement to ANY mortgage whatsoever (our house is in our joint names), or sign ANY forms connected with it.
Mr. Aqua was very stressed about it for a while, until he realised I was never going to sign the papers and after I had told him straight a few hundred times. When he realised this at last, the prodding me stopped and he seemed to take it all very calmly. I was surprised at how calmly he took it.

I put this query about the mortgage to the solicitor, as (with a Virgo Asc and 8th House Sun) I am intrigued to know exactly what is going on. I put it to him that I had never agreed to anything of that sort, and he said something that is indelibly etched in my mind: "Well, if that's the case - it means he forged your signature." Then he noticed the blank look on my face and said: "You don't even want to think about that."

One part of me hopes that Mr. Aqua really, honestly couldn't have been so stupid, surely? Part of me doesn't want to believe it, but there are a lot of things that just don't add up... like his calmness...like the fact he bought himself a brand new computer after I moved out - for £2000 - and I said, where did you get the money from to buy that, because I know he can't afford it, and he said he was paying it back over 2 years, he had an interest-free package.

Then, when we were discussing the "amicability" of our divorce, he said that one condition of its remaining amicable was that as a reason for the divorce I did not cite anything that could lead to criminal charges against him, and I wondered, why would he say that? - guilty conscience, maybe? I thought it was because he had been physically abusive in the past, but I am wondering now whether there are more layers to the situation. I couldn't stop thinking about it on the journey back to London, and thought, "Sh*t - is that maybe what he meant?"

I went to collect some stuff from our house afterwards and Mr. Aqua said he wanted me to stay the night - said he was feeling very lonely, didn't want to see anybody, just tended to come home and go to bed. He looked pretty broken, but I don't feel anything for him anymore, I am not in love with him and I told him that, I also pointed out that it would be inappopriate to stay, given that I was divorcing him on grounds that it was impossible to live with him!!! I am totally emotionally detached from him now, I can say that with ease!

I am just wondering whether he is trying to lay traps for me right, left and centre, he can be so persuasive, it's sad, I just don't trust him anymore because I don't know what's manipulation and what's not, we didn't even go into the living-room, I preferred to talk in the lobby with the front door wide open, what I had inferred from the solicitor's document earlier was telling me that he was a desperate man and therefore capable of ANYTHING.

However, I don't want to jump to conclusions UNTIL I see the mortgage document in black and white, with a signature on it. I haven't a clue in hell what's in it, but I would be intrigued to find out. There we are - I thought it was all going to be a nice and clean and easy separation and Mr. A. chucks a spanner in the works yet again (I'm amazed he doesn't tire of it). I'm not sure I can point any fingers for certain at this stage, but all I can say is - if certain hunches I have turn out to be correct, I wouldn't like to be in his shoes.

I'll update on how the situation develops.

AT

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AcousticGod
Knowflake

Posts: 4416
From: Pleasanton, CA
Registered: Apr 2009

posted October 27, 2005 07:52 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for AcousticGod     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Lord, that's tragic!

That really really sucks.

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sthenri
unregistered
posted October 27, 2005 08:02 PM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
He's suck an A-hole is right. I bet he did and you have to call him on it right away and get the money back.

Don't think it's your fault, you didn't know.

Natasha

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ariestiger
unregistered
posted October 28, 2005 01:20 PM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Er - WELL - no, I wouldn't have thought it WAS my fault. And no, of course I didn't know!!!

I guess I just keep hoping that Mr. A. will learn a lesson and pull himself up by his bootstraps at some stage, which he never seems to. I suppose I'd like to think that he really can't be all that rotten, but I do have to say that when something like this occurs, I am not surprised - but I am just a bit incredulous, because I still can't believe that someone I married can behave in, or have turned out, that way. He did look broken yesterday and I did wonder - if what I suspect is true - what will happen to him, because something like that could in theory carry the risk of imprisonment. I really, really did not think - for his sake - that he would have been that stupid, and I hope and pray that he hasn't been. If he has, he's stung himself in the tail (he does have Asc. and Neptune in Scorp, after all) and the prospects for his future mental health would be concerning - he STILL won't see a psychiatrist. If you choose to believe the current planetary transits, they are also not entirely favourable - with his Sun/Merc in Aqua, Asc/Neptune in Scorp, and Moon in Leo. Perhaps his Saturn in Aries is also taking a beating with this current Mars transit, and his Mars (in Pisces) is CJ Uranus and squaring Pluto.

However, he, and ANYONE, could STILL turn things around if they wanted to!!!!!

This isn't really my problem, and maybe I shouldn't be bothering myself with it, I do feel a little bad about not having been able to bring out the best in him, because I think that our marriage did bring out a lot of good qualities in me. Having said that, I did do a lot of work on myself and I would not have got to the stage I currently am at otherwise. He, on the other hand, DIDN'T choose to work on himself, I never managed to identify what exactly it was he needed, but neither has anyone else. Perhaps my needs are a little simpler...he also seems so desperately, permanently unsure of himself - he said yesterday that everyone was laughing at him, and I said, Christ, you have just got to do something to MAKE yourself feel worthwhile, get out a bit more, talk to people, make some friends (I have been saying this to him for years) - so he told me to stop wagging my finger at him!!!

Sorry I am going on here but yesterday is just sinking in. Like I said, not my problem, and if he's indeed guilty of fraud, I can't divorce him on an amicable basis. We have agreed that we won't see each other until after the divorce is finalised, which I think is a good idea...it is in the hands of the solicitors now, and up to them to unravel whatever worms come out of the can.

AT

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Hedgewitch
unregistered
posted October 28, 2005 01:27 PM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
love and light to you ariestiger....

i wish the best for you with this
ordeal...

bright blessings,
Hedgewitch

------------------
feel the religion within

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pixelpixie
Newflake

Posts: 8
From: ON Canada
Registered: Apr 2009

posted October 28, 2005 02:37 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for pixelpixie     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
wow.

First.. go to the bank.. because it is 'both' of your mortgage, apparently.. explain the situation and try to see this document, or at least talk to someone about it to gather your bearings.
Then see if you can get copies and see your lawyer.

Good luck!!!!

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GemStar
unregistered
posted October 28, 2005 10:21 PM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
This is under the assumption that the home was paid for Free and clear??? No notes were owed to the bank?

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sthenri
unregistered
posted October 28, 2005 10:45 PM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
If it makes you feel better AT, it took a year to get the Libra out of the house, as he refused to leave so I could sell. He barricaded himself in the basement and I couldn't cut off his electricity due to the law. I had to explain to people my circumstances all that time..

Be hard and firm,

Good luck,
Natasha

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ariestiger
unregistered
posted October 29, 2005 05:07 AM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Well, I have just spoken to Mr. A. on the phone, because I felt it was best to talk to him FIRST...because if he had done anything wrong, I'd have wanted to see if anything could be worked out. Turns out it was a solicitor's error - he specifically said to his solicitors there was no mortgage on the house and they must have drafted the letter wrongly - as in, because most people have got mortgages, they automatically typed it out according to standard form. He is going to contact them and get them to send me an amended letter.

Jeez, I can't tell you how relieved I am, I did hope and trust he wouldn't do anything crazy - I was seriously worried. I remember something you said before, Natasha, that an Aqua wouldn't risk jail. I think you're probably right.

Thanks for your support, everyone - I'm thankful the situation's turned out OK.

AT

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GemStar
unregistered
posted October 29, 2005 01:05 PM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Good Job AT....you are making EXCELLENT decisions with your Life...you should be REALLY proud of yourself!! You are taking the High Road and giving him the benefit of the doubt. You figured out that doing so will make proceedings so much easier! Way to go!! Keep you level head and continue to watch your life change for the BETTER!

Keep it up AT!!!

GemStar

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