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Author Topic:   I’m just not the nurturing kind
WaterNymph
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posted November 07, 2005 07:24 AM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
My friend's gone off to Hawaii and left me with her young puppy to look after. I thought, sure…why not? Assuming my mum would do most of the work - like she does with our dog. But no

Mother’s really busy, which means I have to take care of it myself.

After one day - ONE day people…I wish she’d come back ( my friend ). Taking care of someone is not my thing - never has been. So I thought, this is just temporary - what happens if I had a baby? I’d be stuck with it forever - I can’t change my mind and give it to someone else - well I could…but you know…that‘s cruel.
Taking care of myself is hard enough - I can’t do this. So now I’m considering giving to my Libra friend.

*sigh* it’s so cute - but God…commitment has never been my thing. I don’t mind playing with pets or children - as long as there’s no responsibility.

Well my fourth house is empty.

I think this is God telling me to never have children
ok which zodiac guy would be ok with that?

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Azalaksh
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From: New Brighton, MN, USA
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posted November 07, 2005 08:42 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Azalaksh     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Hiya WN ~

I'm not going to go off on a blather about everybody having the ability to nurture: they don't. And btw, I have a son, and my 4th house is empty, and Scorpio on the cusp to boot.....but I wouldn't write yourself off yet at the ripe old age of ( ).

This is a challenge that you chose for yourself, my dear Nurse Neptune -- how long will it be for, a week? Two weeks? Living up to the responsibilities you took on, man, doncha just hate that.....

Zala
PS: I'll write ya as soon as I get my son to school.....

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Peri
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From: 49N35 34E34
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posted November 07, 2005 08:48 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Peri     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I am very nurturing I sometimes I just hate it!

Cappy ASC and Sun conj IC

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WaterNymph
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posted November 07, 2005 08:57 AM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Zala my fourth house is in Gemini *stares into the abyss* responsibilities are not my thing

Peri I didn’t think of the IC
IC squares Moon
IC trines Mercury

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Peri
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From: 49N35 34E34
Registered: Apr 2009

posted November 07, 2005 09:32 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Peri     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
well, I think it is not about IC itself but my Sun which acquires Cancerian traits there (4th house = cancer)

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geminstone
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posted November 07, 2005 11:28 AM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Hey WaterNymph,.... you want to talk about, * stares off into the abyss *, I have a Gemini Sun and IC in Pisces. I do have my Moon in the 4th, ( Pisces as well ) but, being a parent has been a rough lesson, none-the-less, for me. .... A lesson I may never master but, I'll never quit trying. I have Saturn in Cancer.... trines that Pisces Moon in 4th

~ geminstone

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Lemingtyne
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posted November 07, 2005 11:41 AM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Hi WaterNymph, and others,
I feel the same way. Well, I do have a dog and a cat and I don't mind taking care of them, but they are not babies, they just need to be fed once a day. But I don't think that I should ever have children, and I don't want to either. I like children and babies, but I can't see myself being the one who's mainly responsible for one for years and years and years. I went to a baby shower for a cousin yesterday and my mom and grandma asked if I thought I would ever have need of the baby clothes and things. I didn't want to come right out and say no, even though that's what I was thinking, so I said not for a long time at least. My grandma responded, "You can't wait but so long..." (I'm 24) but I will wait as long as I have to until I feel like I can handle the responsibility, and if I never feel that I can, that's ok with me. I also doubt that I'd be very good at marriage, either. Seems like there's a lot of taking care of the other person involved. I think that taking on something so important that I know I can't handle would be irresponsible.
My moon is in the 4th house.

------------------
Libra Sun, Taurus Moon, Capricorn Rising

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cancerrg
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posted November 07, 2005 11:50 AM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
your posts normally make an image of a caring one . do u know that . i have always felt this !

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WaterNymph
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posted November 14, 2005 06:03 AM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Sorry about the late reply guys a lot of strings get lost when AJ bumps up older ones

geminstone
“Hey WaterNymph,.... you want to talk about, * stares off into the abyss *, I have a Gemini Sun and IC in Pisces”
so you get me…ahh we’re coming from the same place
I don’t think you’re supposed to master parenting. You know speaking of lesson to be learnt - I have my NN in Cancer *sigh* but I do like kids.

Lemingtyne “but I can't see myself being the one who's mainly responsible for one for years and years and years.”
I feel the same way - the commitment is scary, also that I can’t change my mind.
“I also doubt that I'd be very good at marriage, either. Seems like there's a lot of taking care of the other person involved.”
lol I’m the same way - if I ever got married, I don’t want to play his mother!! I could never do it without losing my mind.

Interesting that you both have your Moons in the 4th. Mine’s in the 7th.

Cancerrg oh go on

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Iqhunk
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posted November 14, 2005 01:34 PM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
WaterNymph, go ahead and have a baby. The souls incarnating these days are far too advanced, they dont need too much nurturing, just genuine love. And when baby stares into your eyes, you will forget your astrological placements anyway and will automatically enjoy nurturing.

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geminstone
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posted November 14, 2005 04:05 PM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I would have to disagree.... completely... IQ.... I do love my peeps but, the first came into a love, riddled with incredible amounts of fear and, I definitly did not experience a sudden 'Motherly' instinct...In fact, I am not, entirely sure it would be strongly intact now.... and my oldest is 9!....

~ geminstone

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Planet_Soul
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posted November 14, 2005 05:12 PM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Sigh

I totally get you WN and GS, I've felt that way my whole life. When I was little girl, I'd pray to be sterile. It would make me feel bad (sometiems still does) that I am able to have children when its not a priority, while others who desperatly wish they could can't. It seems like a cruel irony, but thats life.
I have two little ones btw, and as you said GS its a lesson I'm still trying to master. I love my kids to pieces, but to be honest I only had them because my then husband wanted kids. I would of been happy, if not happier by never having any kids. Sometimes I envy the women who are sweet and nurturing. I nurture my kids, but I have to make an effort to really connect w them. My afflicted Moon (sq. Sun/sq. Mars/op. Saturn) is in Pisces in the 3/4 house. I am very detached and constantly spacing out into my own world. This pains me, because I feel guilty about being that way. Kids really need cosntant attention, and in that area I'm lacking.
So now, I'm faced with a similar situation as I once did. I'm engaged to a man I love with all my heart and soul. This man happens to be a Cancer and wants a nest w crablets. Sigh. Honestly, that is why I haven't married him yet after two years of beign engaged. Somedays I do want to have just one more child and somedays I really, really don't. Its so funny that I ran into this post just now, as I was just thinking about this subject. Thanks for posting this WN, feel much better now that I've aired at one of the biggest conflicts in my existence

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pixelpixie
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From: ON Canada
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posted November 14, 2005 05:32 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for pixelpixie     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Me too.

Sometimes I feel like gifting men with incredible babes is my area.. and then learning about love and life through that.
Don't get me wrong, I love my chiclets more than anything.. but seeing them through their father's eyes really gets me.
Not so much in my son's case anymore, as our relationship isn;t conductive to pride feelings.... but with my hubby and his daughter, the pride that comes in his eyes and the thank you for her I sometimes get moves me.
A lot of parenting is a struggle whether you want it to be or not.. All the nurturing feelings in the world, naturally or otherwise, can really give you a glimpse of how it really is.
I'd do it again though.
I am a fourth house Sun/Mars/Uranus/North node.
But see? Uranus and Mars? NOT a happy place for disruption, and unsettled energy, that fourth house.

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BlueTopaz124
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posted November 14, 2005 05:39 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for BlueTopaz124     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
None of my friends thought I was the 'mothering' kind (I didn't either). Well, I got married at 21, we waited 2 1/2 years and then started our family (some pressure from family to get started. Yes, I was scared about raising a child(ren), having that lifelong responsibility. Oh, getting pregnant is the easy part, there's no doubt about that - knowing what to do in tough situations as they get older can be a challenge/struggle. But after delivery, when I was alone in my room, hubby went home for some sleep...they brought him in around 2am for his first feeding...I was nervous and scared, but, when the nurse handed me my tightly-wrapped little son and I layed him against my shoulder, he fit there so perfectly and I knew it was right. Raising a child isn't easy, but for me the rewards have far outweighed the drawbacks.

You need to know yourself very well before you can take on the responsibility of raising a child. Also, know the person you are having this child with, married or not. Waiting to have children isn't a bad thing - it gives you the chance to do all the things you want to/need to do so when you do have children there are no resentments about what you're missing. Plus, the costs of raising a child increases as they grow older.

My son is now 21 and he is my pride and joy, who is tall and in looks is a cross between Pierce Brosnan and John Cusack, with a very dry wit and quite a sense of humor, he has a way of charming anyone out of a bad mood, he's very good with people and within 5 minutes of talking has them pretty accurately assessed. A sharp cookie.

Having children is definitely worth it, but in defense of those who choose not to, if a person knows they aren't 'parent material' and don't plan on having children, don't let anyone and let me repeat, anyone tell you you 'should start thinking about settling down and having children' or 'start before it's too late'. Your own happiness and peace of mind is very important and when you have children, you aren't the only one you will be affecting by your decision. I married a Gemini, my opposite and he was not ready to be a father at age 26, our marriage lasted only 3 years after our son was born. So, again, know very well this person you are having children with.

Oh, my 4th house is empty too. I'm a Sag Sun/Rising/Mars-Aqua Moon, so independence is of vital importance to me, but I'm the type of mom who took my son to Disneyland every single year (!), and can sometimes be more like his older sister than his mom. I never ever thought I was the nurturing kind either and it was pressure from my family to get started on a family (note to self for next life time: Don't cave to pressure to have children!), but agree with what has already been said here, that once you look into your child's eyes, you fall in love.
Laura

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geminstone
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posted November 14, 2005 08:28 PM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Planet Soul ~ Thank You.... your honesty is so familiar... Thank You

~ geminstone

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nove731
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From: Strasbourg, France
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posted November 14, 2005 08:34 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for nove731     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Awwww, I love animals. They're so cute!

Well...certain animals, anyway. I hate birds.

Haha, I wish I had a dog. My cats are cute and cuddly and all, but they don't like going outside like dogs do.

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abinormal
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posted November 15, 2005 02:00 PM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
i had to jump onto this one. I have never had the motherly instinct as well. I also used to pray to be sterile when I grew up. My last long term relationship, my mother constantly bothered me asking when she was going to have grandbabbies. Now I have told my entire family most of my life that I never wanted children, even since I was a child, but I was always told that it was a phase and that I would change my mind as I got older. Well finally I sat my mom down and had her realise that even as a child I never played with dolls as children and that never once in my life I has ever sayed anything about wanting children, now she gets it!! But oh god when you get me around animals or the people I adore, I turn to mush. I respond to cats and dogs the way most people do when they see a baby. And all my men get waited on hand and foot, but kids....no go!

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Planet_Soul
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posted November 15, 2005 03:26 PM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
gs

I love animals as well. I grew up in the country, and had many animal friends. I'd name them and even talk to them, I felt understood by my dear animals. I love being aroudn kids as well, being able to work with them is a blessing. Its the life long commitment that gets to me, I am way toooo spacey. I will get in my Neptunian moods, and crawl into my room and stay there for hours. I am trying to be more solid and disciplined, and less eccentric but it is a challenge.

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Mystic Gemini
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posted November 15, 2005 04:01 PM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Me Love Puppies

------------------
Gemini sun, Cancer rising, mercury in Gemini, moon in Taurus *29, venus in Taurus, mars in Libra

*´¨)
¸.·´¸.·*´¨) ¸.·*¨)
(¸.·´ (¸.·´ * Lost in the peace of serenity
Blind my eyes I cannot see
Lost my soul but found my heart
Again a time, when I shall start

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sdg1844
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posted November 15, 2005 08:06 PM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote

I adore animals. When my cat had kidney failure and was in the hospital for a week, I cried almost everyday. It's funny but I am fanatical about the protection of children and animals (Cancer Moon, Scorpio, Neptune in the 4th), but to take on the responsibility of either one for too long would make me a wreck. LOL

I don't think it's my destiny to have children, but I show love by adoring my nephew who I feel is a TOTAL STAR! ::Sigh:: I don't know what I'll do if a man wants to have babies with me. ::Bigger Sigh::

------------------
Before you speak, ask yourself, is it kind, is it necessary, is it true, does it improve on the silence?
-Sai Baba

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WaterNymph
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posted November 16, 2005 06:01 AM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Thank you for replying guys so many words are so familiar that it feels like I spoke them. Your posts have helped me very much. But it’s still ironic that I, who can have children, don’t want any. Yet those who desperately want one, can’t - and I’m left feeling guilty

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Peri
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From: 49N35 34E34
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posted November 16, 2005 06:13 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Peri     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
But it's still ironic that I, who can have children, don't want any. Yet those who desperately want one, can't - and I'm left feeling guilty

You are too young sweety and just not ready for kids yet.

Everything in its time.

My time hasn't come yet either though I am not that young (28)

You might have had 8 or 10 children in your past life and now you want to relax a bit in this incarnation


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lalalinda
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From: nevada
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posted November 16, 2005 09:34 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for lalalinda     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
you're just young
this isn't about nuturing, but more about maturity and responsibility and doing things you don't want to do.
and yes I mean that in the nicest of ways

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WaterNymph
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posted November 17, 2005 04:51 AM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Oh lala, of course I know you mean it in the nicest way
Peri you are so right, it would make sense that I had tones of kids in my past life - and now I want a break

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ariestiger
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posted November 17, 2005 08:18 AM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
When I was 16 my mother told me about the affair my father had had when I was a baby -that put me off having kids for good. There was also constant pressure in my marriage of the "do you think you'll ever change your mind" type, as though it was s/th expected. Unfortunately I had realised early on that I did not want to have children with my husband. My prayers seem to have been granted; I have ungovernable candida that produces acid conditions w/in the vagina, which kill sperm before they have a chance So there you go.

I can't cope with the demands of either children or animals, and those of you who assume marriage is about mothering husbands are dead right.

AT

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