posted November 18, 2005 03:39 PM            

It’s always stressful. Very painful. I always fear this month out of all. Any kind of disgrace is likely to happen to me in Scorpio time. It never fails.

I thought this year I would evade it… We are so close to Sagittarius now… But of course, it’s punctual as a swiss watch…

This morning I got offered to join the company. That’s great news. Apparently… I got a shameful offer, one that is not negotiable. Pretty insulting really. You take it or leave it. I got lied and backstabbed by I man I respected a lot, my actual boss. I feel disgusted and betrayed.

I would leave now but I’m waiting to change projects and for my new boss I would swallow and stay… I feel so taken advantage of… I trusted him, I defended him against my colleagues who always spoke badly of him. I’ve been so naïve… The worst part is that I’ll have to still work for him for a year or so until I move projects.

Is there something in my chart pointing to that amazing coincidence? Disastrous dates have been:
25 October 1996
6 November 1998
11 November 2003
16 November 2004
18 November 2005

My life usually dramatically changes for the worst after those episodes. They mark me, I never fully recover…

posted November 18, 2005 07:55 PM              

Remember you are special, and loved. It's hard to accept sometimes, feels better to express your anger at your boss I know, but you are loved and supported and watched over.

posted November 18, 2005 09:31 PM            

Natasha, you said November is horrible for everyone. I'm intrigued. Do you know of a reason for this?

posted November 19, 2005 01:12 PM            

I have a new apartment!!! It’s taking a hell of a lot of time to get it ready. I still have to get some brickwork done… I’m in the process of chosing furniture. I bought my bedroom only a week ago. I gets delivered at the end of December. Then I’ll have to put furniture in the living room and then curtains and the sofa (with a bed in it for visitors)… I’ll take me a few months but if you don’t mind waiting we could arrange something in the future… You could also get a hotel here if you prefer and then come anytime!

Madrid is pretty ugly at the moment though, you may get disappointed… road works all over the place, traffic jams due to it… and a very cold winter… Spring time is always better… Anyway, I’d love to be your host here anytime!

Oh, thanks, Future, you are such a sweetheart! Your words are very conforting, supporting and warm as always…

posted November 19, 2005 11:41 PM              

In your chart you have unaspected (strong energy) Saturn (duty, also responsibility) conjunct (energy is combined with) Venus (physical, also desire/relationships) focused in the 8th house (transformation, also power). People with unaspected planets in their chart can not "connect in" with the unaspected planetary energy. The result is that they work very hard at trying to put the unaspected energy into their life, but because they do not "feel it" they think that they are not using the energy. As a result, they use the energy even more. The challenge is to understand that the energy IS there, even though the person is not able to connect in with it directly.

In your case, there is a challenge about taking responsibility and power in your desire for relationships. Since YOU do not take the power and authority in relationships, others take power and authority OVER you. Occasionally, by transit (movement of planets in the sky) you "connect in" with the moving planets, but then the planets move and the "energy connection" to Saturn and Venus is lost.

So you need to start taking back power and authority in your relationships. Make sure that you have the "upper hand" in your relationships. Be the "responsible one" in any relationship situations. Take back your energy so that YOU cause things to happen. The power is there...only currently untapped.

Build your relationship power, see it reflected in those around you (even if you are not always directly able to connect into it yourself) and be the powerful relater you have always wanted to be!

Relating,

posted November 20, 2005 09:24 AM            

I cannot be that powerful relater. Yes, I desire so strongly to be wanted and loved, I work so hard for relationships… But the energy always goes to waste. No matter how hard I try, it never works. It feels as if I was doing nothing.

Yes, I feel powerless. And I’m about to give up. I always say so but keep trying… But then it’s also true that everytime with less enthusiasm. My effort never materialises.

You are so right. Sometimes I have that fleeting feeling of being missing something… As if I truly was touching people’s hearts… But then I feel that cold, icey certainty of being completely on my own. Of nobody caring about me. I feel so betrayed all the time.

I haven’t fallen in love for about 7 years now. I don’t let myself do it. I’m too hearbroken. Unable to feel warmth from others. I don’t trust any man in giving me any love. They never did or I never felt it. And I tried so hard.

Now I’m even closing down to my friends. It doesn’t feel colder if they are not in the horizon. I always feel as if I was giving much more than I ever receive. I can’t do it any longer.

Often I feel that nobody would notice if I disappear one day. As if I never existed, no-one would miss me. I don’t make a difference in anybody’s life. And that’s a tough one to swallow for a Venus in Leo.

posted November 20, 2005 10:17 AM              

November is a tough month for many because of the sudden dark at 4pm, holiday season approaching and decisions to be made regarding where to put loved ones, many important decisions are made at this time regarding the winter-and summer flings are broken off to make way for family and long term relationships. Winter is the gateway to emotional changes and more talking indoors-not so great for many who did not get outdoors enough.

It can be an overwhelming burden to many to focus on the needs of family if your own life is full of hard work. And it's hurricane season still.

Every year at this time I am faced with a new love breaking it off with me because he needs to spend time with more significant others and I have to make that decision first or risk getting hurt.

As Tim said, I must always make the first move and the last one, and take responsibility for all relationships, that means I can't be in one that I can't finish and maintain-always making sure to be the winner in life so I can be a rock for my friends. None want to have that kind of baggage so I end up taking on more than I should.

The Key I think is working relationships. People who care and commit to being there and listening to your problems, will be there down the road not just load you up with their baggage.

People who are too dependent on others, too close to their ex's, children, and others who wrestle with power struggles, cannot submit to a working relationship, or value your efforts. I have met several lovely people through work who I have relationships with, but trying to value relationships with those who are with me personally who have no interest in my working friends are trouble.

the most emotionally satisfying relationship I had recently was with a Cancer/Taurus Moon male who has Saturn conjunct his Midheaven-his life revolves around the stress of his family but he was so truthful about it, he never pretended to offer more than what he had, or stopped asking for a relationship where I trusted him. Not by proving it but by acting like it.

So keep on searching in unlikely places for those you can trust-the more you trust others, and the future the happier your relationships will be.

Do not let yourself get hung up on anyone who promises to take care of you, or take away all your pain-no one can do that but it's tempting to believe.

It's not too hard being the responsible one though if you stick to being responsible at work and not at home-keep it very separate and let others help you with your home life.

I love Europe! I have been to France, Italy, and Ireland, but I need to visit a warmer country. Since my goal is to work and travel #1 from now on-and a friend recently visited Spain and inspired my imagination-I want to go to warm places in the Spring.

Where I am is cold, wet and miserable, so I am getting out of it as soon as I can to at least a more lively atmosphere.

It's best to get emotional support whereever it is.

It's funny that you had a problem with a Scorpio and your venus is in the 8th, mine was with a Leo type, and my venus in the 5th. Possibly falling in love is easier with someone who has what you are missing? For me it's warmth, and younger people so I am moving to a location where I can have that-more 5th house.

You should know that you are very good at building relationships as evidenced by the friends you have made on this board.
There are many people who have built solid support underneath you, talk to those people first who are true and loyal. Then spend time with others.

I try to actually divide up my day that way, first part of the day with people who are significant, or routines that are important in the long term-it really helps!

posted November 20, 2005 11:46 AM            

Hmmm… So November is disastrous because it’s the gate to the new stage… Scorpio brings changes… But they could be wonderful changes, couldn’t they? Why are they always disastrous and painful?

Yes!!! All my love stories break off around this time of the year too!!! There are always more significant others… Why is never us? Why aren’t we those significant others sometimes?

It’s a burden for me to be always the first and last one to move. I risk first, then abandoned and funnily enough still the one to draw the line to stop the emotional abuse. Will it never be easy?

I’ve always been too naïve. I trusted others far more than they deserved. That’s why I got stung. In my experience, the more you trust the more painful the disappointment is. So now I live like a wild animal, always sleeping with an eye half-open.

My last blow was my boss. I thought he appeciated me, that I could trust him with my proffesional success. There are battles that a employer has to fight for you. I have worked so hard for him that now I feel so betrayed. I feel stupid thinking that I was defending him in front of my colleagues while he was just lying and feeding me with all that ******** , telling me what I wanted to hear, getting that trap ready to get me unguarded. I trusted him. What for?

Lately I get my emotional support from my best friend. I have known her for 15 years and she is the only one who I truly think gives a hoot about me. Even when sometimes I think she would leave me behind as soon as a man offered her anything. Other people’s warmth never touches me. I’m lost in this winter storm.

Falling in love with what I’m missing? 8th house? What is that? A Scorpio kind of man? Well, it was disastrous in the past… It was one of them (not the last one but the previous) who inutilised my heart.

Yes, you are right. I’m good at making friends. Sometimes it truly amazes me… Jupiter, my powerful chart ruler is in the 7th… But then they don’t appear to reach me. Do I reach them? I don’t feel their touch, I feel alone and cold. I know they are there… But I can’t feel them. At the end of the day, I’m on my own. I feel on my own.

posted November 22, 2005 01:22 PM              

Remember too, that Scorpio is their own worst enemy. I have a Scorpio Stellium, and it's my Focal influence in my Chart (I'm a Libra)...

Scorpio's love the feeling of having power. Sometimes you feel it, sometimes you don't. When you have it, don't let it convince you it will be all you will ever need. You'll need people, and yes, this is a lesson I've have to learn as well, as Scorpio's really don't need anyone!

So think about what it is you do to compromise when it comes to relating to others. Whatever it is you are holding back, is probably truly hidden. However, you DO have to be around people at some point.

Think about what you are willing to compromise in the way you relate to others. Mostly think about what tools you feel most comfortable using in order to give others any kind of understanding of you at all.

Then rethink what not working. Use your Scorpio Phoenix to destroy, rebuild, and transform.