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Author
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Topic: Open mindedness?
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nove731
Knowflake Posts: 43
From: Strasbourg, France
Registered: Jun 2009
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posted November 21, 2005 12:11 AM
  
So, I had this friend right? One of my best. He's cool with a lot of things. Has a lot of gay friends, and all. I didn't really think it would be a problem. But, I guess it was. I told him I was, and he kinda didn't take it all that well. Stopped talking to me for a few months, actually. Only just started trying to talk to me again recently. I don't really understand why it's so unacceptable for me to be gay, but anyone else in the world and it's fine. :-/Part of all this...rift? Lol. Is undoubtedly my fault. My pride won't let me talk to him anymore, though he has tried to bridge the gap. He made me feel like crap. He tossed me aside like I was a piece of trash he didn't have use for anymore, and then all of the sudden started trying to be my friend again. I know it's immature, but part of me really wants him to suffer. Part of me hopes that my not talking to him will make him feel as crappy as him doing it to me felt. But I know he won't care. He doesn't really ever seem to care about anything that doesn't have a vagina and an hourglass shape. Now, don't get me wrong, I never liked him like that or anything. I'm not exactly envious of the girls he gives attention to. He's like a brother to me. Or was, anyway. It's just that it's like...we're supposed to be friends, but it seems so conditional. It's almost as though he'll only talk to me so long as I'm the only one there anyway. Like I said, I can't talk to him anymore. I just can't let myself. It feels like I'm some simpering wimp who lives for his attention. I love my friends, but...it's a little too much to me. Is there anything that you can see here that would indicate bad blood (so to speak, of course)? Me
Sun - Aries (24) [House 7]
Moon - Sagittarius (6) [House 3]
Mercury - Taurus (14) [House 8]
Venus - Pisces (8) [House 6]
Mars - Aquarius (25) [House 5]
Jupiter - Cancer (11) [House 10]
Saturn - Capricorn (25) [House 4]
Uranus - Capricorn (10) [House 4]
Neptune - Capricorn (15) [House 4]
Pluto - Scorpio (18) [House 2]
N.N. - Aquarius (12) [House 5]
Ascendant - Virgo (28) Him
Sun - Scorpio (4) [House 11]
Moon - Libra (1) [House 10]
Mercury - Libra (24) [House 11]
Venus - Sagittarius (19) [House 1]
Mars - Libra (25) [House 11]
Jupiter - Cancer (11) [House 8]
Saturn - Capricorn (9) [House 2]
Uranus - Capricorn (3) [House 1]
Neptune - Capricorn (10) [House 2]
Pluto - Scorpio (15) [House 12]
N.N. - Aquarius (24) [House 3]
Ascendant - Sagittarius (4) IP: Logged |
geminstone
unregistered
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posted November 21, 2005 01:33 AM
Hey there Nove,
I just wanted to say,... at least he is trying to understand.... I know of this kind of wierdness, firsthand. Except, I stood in a similar place, as your friend. I am happy to share, that my own aversion to the gay/lesbian scene has long since, been changed and, thanks to only one Beautiful Soul who gave to me the wisdom to know more of Love, when freed was my mind  His was a lesson in frienship, cut short and, extremely unexpected but, he gave this to me and, did so without expectations.... It still brings many tears, had I known he was so sick, I would've told him .... but, I suppose, he hears me now anyway.... Don't take any moment for granted, especially over the more or less, trivial things. Understand the human-ness that we all share.... Your friend is only human... but, you may have, unknowingly, brought forth new sight to him... voice your hurts and, the way that you feel towards him..... communication is soooo much better than 'pay-back'...... and, I'm sure you know what is said of '2 wrongs '. It is with patience and, understanding that most find comfort and, it is not knowing, that breaths life into fear. Fear, is where 'conditions' live.Do unto others...?  ~ geminstone IP: Logged |
SecretGardenAgain
unregistered
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posted November 21, 2005 03:32 AM
nove the one reason that definitely pops out at me is that if i found out one of my best friends was lesbo i would be very uncomfortable in , has she ever thought about me in a sexual way?? has she ever checked me out if i was dancing in front of her?? changing in front of her?? when we used to talk and laugh and joke about men and sex, what exactly was she thinking? did she lie to me? hide it from me? why? as you can understand, these may seem mean, but they are, in my opinion, justified questions. they do NOT justify stand-offish behavior, but u do have to understand where he is coming from. im sure he has gotten over his bafflement. and being a libra/scorp i expect he is pretty bisexual himself with an emphasis on the 'sexual' part of the word. although he may not admit it, he may feel uncomfy with you because he may fear u may have felt attracted to him. to be best friends with someone who could even potentially have a crush on u totally changes the dynamics of friendship. for ex. all my guy friends and i have it clear that we're just friends. but if any of them were to give any hints that its even possible for us to date in the future, that would make me SUPER uncomfy. hope that clarifies a bit, other than that i see your sun opp. his moon, maybe u inadvertently hurt his feelings. besides which, with ur pluto in scorp and his sun and pluto in scorp, there is bound to be power struggles in the relationship. remember u are both going the same place--towards the eccentric, evolution of the mentality, and opening of the mind to the new (n.n. in aquarius), but will take different routes--it would be easier for you to accept all this being a sag mooner with mars in aqua, for him it will take longer (libra moon/mer/mars and i assume venus), with libra being the sign of 'traditional marriage' concept. (i can relate to him being a venus in 7th libra rising, i have very traditional heterosexual views on marriage and relationships). Hope that helps. Love
SG IP: Logged |
nove731
Knowflake Posts: 43
From: Strasbourg, France
Registered: Jun 2009
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posted November 21, 2005 06:06 PM
quote:
Your friend is only human... but, you may have, unknowingly, brought forth new sight to him... voice your hurts and, the way that you feel towards him..... communication is soooo much better than 'pay-back'...... and, I'm sure you know what is said of '2 wrongs '.
I'm actually a bit afraid to do that, to be honest. I do it so often he doesn't really take it seriously. Besides the fact that he wouldn't care. He's just not really the type who cares about how other people feel. Again, unless they have a vagina and an hourglass shape. :-/ quote:
other than that i see your sun opp. his moon, maybe u inadvertently hurt his feelings.
Actually, my Sun and his Moon don't aspect. My Sun is at 24 degrees Aries, and his moon is at 1 degree Libra. Usually it's the other way around. Our friendship is kinda emo if you know what I mean. I'm usually depressed around him for whatever reason. His general prescence makes me feel ****** . But, he is (was?) my friend, so I got over it. He usually is the one making me feel like crap inadvertantly, though. Mmm...he has Venus in Sagittarius. Not quite conjunct my Moon though. IP: Logged |
sdg1844
unregistered
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posted November 21, 2005 06:51 PM
If he is truly your friend and someone who cares about you, he will come around. If the friendship is worht saving to you, make and effort to clear the air.If he has issues with your sexuality, and no respect for your feelings, they are exactly HIS ISSUES. I wish you all the best and hope this situation can be worked out btwn you.  ------------------
Before you speak, ask yourself, is it kind, is it necessary, is it true, does it improve on the silence?
-Sai Baba IP: Logged |
nove731
Knowflake Posts: 43
From: Strasbourg, France
Registered: Jun 2009
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posted November 21, 2005 09:05 PM
Thanks. To all of you. I just wish I understood why it's unacceptable to him for me to be gay, but not for anyone else...  I don't know. IP: Logged |
Lauren
unregistered
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posted November 21, 2005 09:57 PM
Hey Nove..You said he has other gay friends. Maybe he felt closer to you. Maybe he thought you might be attracted to him..or something along those lines..or maybe he thought he might be attracted to you (you never know)Also, Scorpios only like secrets when it's their own secrets. They want to know everything about everyone close to them. They usually have a very good intuition and can intuitively KNOW most things about a person. They don't like it when something gets passed them. Maybe he felt it was a breach of trust on your part, to only let him know when you did.. I hope things work out! If I was in your shoes I probably wouldn’t jump right into a friendship again..not to get revenge but to protect my own feelings. I think he owes you an apology. When he contacts you, you could tell him that much. Also Scorp/Libra combos can sometimes seem very superficial, more so than they actually are. I’m sure he does care, even though it may seem he only cares about perfect looking girls. A lot of times it’s the exact opposite of that. They care about those girls in a very superficial sense (specially at your age)..but they feel closer to their friends. You wouldn’t always think so, since the girls get 90% of their attention.. but what’s hidden is usually more meaningful to Scorpio..then what you see on display. IP: Logged |
freebird
unregistered
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posted November 22, 2005 08:41 AM
As a Scorp if a girl who is my best friend and would tell me that She is Lesbian My reaction wouldn't be very judgmental but just little wary that she isn't attracted to me. I would say that he might have felt that you are attracted to him and you are revealing your secret of being gay to him because you would like to have a relationship with him. So I think he backed off a little so that you don't get any wrong signals.I guess he is coming back because he likes you as a friend.I would suggest make him comfortable and clear out that you aren't attracted to him in boyfriend and you think of him more like bro.
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1scorp
unregistered
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posted November 22, 2005 08:52 AM
My opinion is that it really doesn't have much to do with the Scorpio/Libra aspect of him. I have NO problems with gay or lesbians whatsoever. 
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Scorpio sun, venus, mars, mercury and uranus
Libra moon, pluto and asc. IP: Logged |
sue g
unregistered
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posted November 22, 2005 06:43 PM
I usually find people who are very clear and secure about their sexuality dont feel threatened by homosexuals, why would they....?I had a very sexy Scorpio french woman come onto me a few years ago she kept telling me how sexy I was.....I just said to her that she was lovely but I wasnt interested as I was married and into men......I was very flattered though....she was hot stuff....hahahaha !! xxx IP: Logged |
nove731
Knowflake Posts: 43
From: Strasbourg, France
Registered: Jun 2009
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posted November 22, 2005 07:13 PM
quote:
So I think he backed off a little so that you don't get any wrong signals.I guess he is coming back because he likes you as a friend.I would suggest make him comfortable and clear out that you aren't attracted to him in boyfriend and you think of him more like bro.
He didn't just "back off", he basically pretended I didn't exist. I don't know. It seemed like it. If I talked to him, he would just walk right past me and not say anything. He wouldn't even look at me. And ew to him as a boyfriend. He's so.......ew. Not my type. I'll say that much. IP: Logged |
sthenri
unregistered
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posted November 22, 2005 08:52 PM
People are afraid to express happiness over something different if they are trying to decide if it's a good thing or not. He probably has internal values he hasn't worked out yet and unless he shares his doubts on his own sexuality with someone, this will make him more conflicted.However, do not feel guilty about other people's bad manners. Congrats on being Gay, and let's hope others around you are not so hung up on figuring out how to love! Natasha
Taurus
Cancer Moon IP: Logged | |
Lindaland
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