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Author Topic:   Men also drive me Insane
sthenri
unregistered
posted November 23, 2005 05:04 AM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Okay, not just men but, it does seem men feel things differently than women due during the holidays. I am in the US and my ex Libra is in Canada and he wanted to spend Thanksgiving weekend here with me and was coming down on the bus so I could pick him up and we were going to spend the weekend eating and driving near Boston. All set but one hitch. He can't come becuase he's worried about his paperwork, and he forgot to check earlier so he wants to cancel.

That leaves me to wonder why he always complains he doesn't get enough attention around the holidays when he makes no effort to do any planning? I just bought a ton of food and now I will end up at someone else's house at the last minute and have to explain the entire story, and eat rice krispie treats and other foods that I did not prepare myself. I was looking forward to an old fashioned turkey dinner and set up the entire weekend around this even getting off work early and spending days rearranging my schedule.

My Cancer friend who drives me nuts as he never leaves his house is working on Thanksgiving at power plant, but he invited me over for the weekend afterwards.

Both men drive me nuts because neither belive in celebrating the holidays like most people do but expect me to spend the weekend with them, driving either 5 hours, or 2 hours, Libra/Gemini Moon, Cancer/Leo Moon, respectively.

And I just feel very manipulated as in these are the kinds of things my book "Men love Bitches, Doormat to Dreamgirl" said NOT to do.

Any advice?

Thanks, Natasha
Tired Taurus

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Yin
Knowflake

Posts: 1951
From:
Registered: Apr 2009

posted November 23, 2005 05:38 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Yin     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Natasha, can't you spend Thanksgiving with some of your family - your sister or your brother?

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cancerrg
unregistered
posted November 23, 2005 05:50 AM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
NO. no suggestion,
men are always that way .may be u are too much sensetive or may be u are giving more value than they deserve .

u always make me smile with your man problems!
u are too nice . dont be .

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sue g
unregistered
posted November 23, 2005 05:59 AM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Oh Natasha

My advice....get tougher....me being a Scorp am very in control with men....always was.....suit YOURSELF girl....tell them this is what YOU want......why make yourself unhappy....put your own needs first for a change, and watch the energy change around your relationships.....

Good luck to you


Sue xxx

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sweetlibra
unregistered
posted November 23, 2005 06:12 AM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Love to you Natasha
I dont have any right to suggest cuz I always place myself in similar situations!

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ariestiger
unregistered
posted November 23, 2005 06:14 AM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I totally agree w/Sue, plus I'd say both guys from what I have read abt. them on this thread and others, seem to be agoraphobic.

With your Libra ex, you had a ton of trouble, do you really want to go through all that again, even after all the rigmarole of getting divorced etc.?

Don't place so much importance on *MEN*!! A lot of them are great, yes - at arm's length, and I don't say this because I'm a man-hater, I say this because indeed a lot are great as friends, but I wouldn't want anything deeper with them, because I wouldn't want to take on all their problems. You follow me? A deeper relationship, to me, is "One Louder"!!

I am having a ton of fun on match.com at the moment, I haven't met one single guy I would want to meet in the flesh, they all seem in such a RUSH!! and/or liars...it's very good to emphasize consistent emailing befor meeting them for real...that way you can suss them out. It's amazing, some of the rubbish some of them come out with.

LOL

AT

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sthenri
unregistered
posted November 23, 2005 08:01 AM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Yep that is true, I will return some of this food, if possible, and then call around after work-I am sure I don't need to base my plans around one man-I may go down to Boston to see the Cancer just to see what he is cooking though, it's his best asset, men are so much better in the kitchen than me.

That's why I like them, because they do the cooking and like it. Just because I am a Taurus doesn't mean I like cooking much, I need a lot of help as my mother was a Scorpio-no domestic goddess there.

I am tough at work, but these men are like babies sometimes.

Yes and this Libra drives me nuts, he may have to be on hold for a while. See I try not to say NO men, because it won't last and it's better to roll with emotions, men pop again anyway everywhere, you can't avoid them! gay, straight, married, or single one can be a hurricane in a teacup.

Yin, it's a thought but my mother is a Scorpio, so maybe that's why she hates cooking more than me, and usually burns everything. We usually just watch from a distance and end up buying pre-made foods. My brother is not into family gatherings anymore, he's a 16yr old Aquarius-so it feels forced. I am doing Christmas with family and that's set.

AT, it's true about the rush thing isn't it, and what is the rush all about?

Natasha

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Lauren
unregistered
posted November 23, 2005 07:07 AM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Me 3! One particular man drove me completely insane today.

I'm just so sick of it all

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Gemini Nymph
unregistered
posted November 23, 2005 09:12 AM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Men love b*tches? So why don't I get ask out more often???

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1scorp
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posted November 23, 2005 09:32 AM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Sthenri: You are more than welcome to come to my house.

Awww... I understand. I've been there... things will get better.

What helps me gauge if a person is worth all of the effort I put into them is... if I decided to make myself happy and it required giving them less attention, etc. would they understand? Or even tolerate it?

Try it out. See how they react with you making things comfortable for yourself and not going out of your way all of the time for others.

Their reaction will tell a lot about their commitment to you.

Every relationship should be give and take. It's great for the taker... and even if a person is a natural giver, it can be enslaving.

You can't always wear yourself out for others. It's a very admirable quality... but there are others that will take advantage of it.

You have a huge heart. I think these men should be happy to find a woman like you.

Sorry for the scattered thoughts.
__________________________________________
Scorpio sun, venus, mars, mercury and uranus
Libra moon, pluto and asc.

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cancerrg
unregistered
posted November 24, 2005 11:22 AM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Men love b*tches? So why don't I get ask out more often???

,heheheheheh.......

u are terrific mg !

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jkxx
unregistered
posted November 24, 2005 11:34 AM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Men love b*tches?

I've heard the opposite version of that, that women tend to go for the SOBs (and regretting it later too!) Not sure if this would go toward or against the question, not lookinh to start a thread fight either (just in case everyone gets involved).

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sue g
unregistered
posted November 24, 2005 11:43 AM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
One has to balance finely between.....b!tch and angel......that is the answer sisters.......think about it !!

xxx xxx

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Gemini Nymph
unregistered
posted November 24, 2005 12:05 PM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
I've heard the opposite version of that, that women tend to go for the SOBs (and regretting it later too!)

Well, I've regretted every SOB I've fallen for so hey.

The funny thing is that guys I've dated almost always got to some point where they thought I was an "angel" or their "dreamgirl" even when I was providing plenty of evidence to the contrary.

I think it just boils down to people are attracted to confidence and that we often mistake less desireable and more superficial traits like b*tchiness and jerkiness as genuine confidence. That's my take on it.

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Aphrodite
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posted November 24, 2005 05:13 PM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Aww, sorry to hear about the cancelled plans with your ex Natasha.

and hugs to ya!

I was thinking about what I would do if I was in your situation. I most likely go out and buy a lobster, or a crab, or oysters and shrimp . . . steam them and then dunk in a bowl of melted butter and lemon juice, enjoy with a cold glass of expensive white wine and watch TV or a DVD . . . all by myself. I'd also go out and buy a piece of really good chocolate mousse. I would stick everything else "Thanksgiving-y" into the freezer and forget about it for the time being.

I myself would not be in the mood to recount in public why my ex bailed out on such a holiday. I couldn't hide the hurt from my face.

Just my thoughts.

Loves ya,

Aphrodite

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ariestiger
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posted November 24, 2005 05:42 PM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I agree, stick the turkey in the freezer and save it for Christmas - or when bird flu starts doing the rounds and there are no turkeys left; it'll be like gold dust, and you'll be able to auction it.

My humour is a little black - please excuse

AT

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SecretGardenAgain
unregistered
posted November 25, 2005 02:30 AM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
AT you are hilarious

btw GN the answer to ur qs is that men like the passive aggressive manipulative b!tches that are sugary on top and a dagger underneath.

they DONT like the b!tch variety 2, which is in ur face assertive b!tch, straightforward and honest with a few etiquette problems.

Love
SG

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sue g
unregistered
posted November 25, 2005 08:32 AM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Hmmmm SGA

I think you may have something there girl.....the bitchiness may have to be somewhat "veiled" to be effective........

Ive known many a Scorpio women who seem to possess a knack for this. Some men find it intoxicating......

xxx

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cancerrg
unregistered
posted November 25, 2005 08:42 AM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
One has to balance finely between.....b!tch and angel......that is the answer sisters.......think about it !!
xxx xxx


thats the definition!
balance thats the essence of life!

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sthenri
unregistered
posted November 25, 2005 10:02 AM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Women are just so much cooler than men in my experience, so much more honest. Of course it's impossible to be straightforward with the opposite sex unless you are very secure.

as for bitches-men do love security-as much as women do and bitches are more secure, have more stuff, attract more attention, give more attention. the book said being a ***** was about dignity-which I can relate to. Most doormats do not have any dignity or pride that they stick to, so men like to test.

I imagine most women are too reserved to dump a man because they want a LTR, but I have found LTR's based on trust that is non existent is worse than nothing.

Women do not like SOB's they like the pretend personality SOB's put out, or the SOB puts on a I'm trying to change act. Even the most naive woman-me for example figures it out quickly and then starts trouble. SOBS don't like drama.

THANKS for all the good advice and insights-into the world of relationships.
I am going to see the Cancer today to do something fun, next time he has to reciprocate.

Natasha


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Swerve
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posted November 25, 2005 11:25 AM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
In my opinion bitches and SOB's are the weakest people I know.

They haven't got the strength of character or real deep-down belief in who they are to face being honest in an unsure world.

Unfortunately, its bloody hard to figure out which ones they are until WELL into the game.

Idiots.

Swerve

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sthenri
unregistered
posted November 26, 2005 02:59 AM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Yes that is true Swerve but that is the getting to know you process we all have to go through.

Being a ***** to me means staying away from lost causes, men with addictions, and so on. The book lists the kinds to avoid which is helpful to have it in LIST format as I already know but it's validation.

edited-will write again later when it makes sense

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pidaua
Knowflake

Posts: 67
From: Back in AZ with Bear the Leo
Registered: Apr 2009

posted November 26, 2005 08:19 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for pidaua     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I'm sorry Natasha.... that really bites. I had a similar episode with the Cancer (who has successfully weeded himself out of the running for good).

The idiot (and I use that term with full affection.. LOL). Got into an argument with me last weekend after acting like a jealous twirp. Then he begs me to give him another chance. My friends had invited him not only to the big Thankgiving dinner at our mutual friends house (30 people.. lots of music / fun..food) but also to my Saggie friends 40th b-day party which is tonight (LOL.. I need to get ready to make my grand entrance).

So.. dorkface calls on Wednesday "Oh please Pidaua, give me another chance I really want to make it up to you".

I said "Sure.. my friends invited you, but I need you to be here by 11:30am so we can get out to Hereford". GREAT!!! he says...

So, I am getting things all ready - baking the 30 twice backed potatos and getting myself ready to go. At 12:30pm he calls my house phone, then my cell phone, then my house phone, then my cell phone. I won't answer. He is an hour late and he has a habit of being a flake.

Then he leaves a message "Hey sweetie.. ummm.. I partied until 4am with my friends and I am not feeling well.. I just don't think I can make it.. but I am sorry.. and I know you are probably pretty angry".

Nope.. I wasn't angry because I wanted to dump his idiot butt anyway and I really wanted the Mr. BP-Taurus and his daughter to show up instead. So, later I send the Cancer a text message.. "No worries... but I want to make it clear that I no longer want to date you at all... Take care.. good luck Bye".

Mr. BP-Taurus came to the party and we all had a blast. His little Leo daughter took to me in about 10 minutes and didn't want to let me go. He was incredibly surprised.

Then my phone rings.. and I am not even thinking when I answer (not recognizing the number) and it is Mr. Ex Taurus... I am curt.. go on my way until he leaves another message (and then I called him back).

Looooooong story... but we did talk. Maybe he needed closure.. maybe he doesn't want to let go. But I will get to that another time.


Hang in there Natasha

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