posted December 02, 2005 10:35 AM              

Thank you, thank you, thank you.

posted December 06, 2005 11:02 AM              

... people’s way of experiencing “fate” as life and their philosopher’s way of discussing “fate” as a metaphysical problem, in terms of cause and effect, need bear no significant relationship to each other, since the latter is an abstract word game, played according to classic rules, and the other is an inward realization of existence. --Joseph Campbell

Regardless of the aspect, Eros to one node will automatically stimulate the other. This implies the need to maintain a balance between the two in the context of intimate relationship. Old patterns may emerge, with the opportunity to process them in new ways.

i also pulled this following section for you about eros. i don't know if this will help you, but it is an interesting read so here it is (it's kind of long, i apologize):

What is the god of love all about? The name itself is the ancient Greek word for erotic love, although its meaning is not necessarily sexual. Eros to the Greeks meant a merging of the souls in such a way that it created a lasting transformation. It can happen in any situation of great intimacy, emotional risk, taboo passion or creative expression.

Where Eros rules in the astrological chart—by sign, house and aspects—is a marker for our beliefs, orientation and experiences of erotic love. This includes creative passions, transformational unions and the power of fate to manifest through intimacy with another. It can involve a direct experience of the divine. Asteroid 433 Eros can give us added information on a very particular kind of love. When touched off by transit, aspect or synastry, Eros evokes passions that are not based on lunar comfort, Venus sensuality or Mars desires. Eros is not about relationships that make us feel secure, worthy or satisfied. It is not about getting our way or winning love. It is not about commitment or harmony.

Eros is about merging a piece of our own heart with the beloved to create change, because we must. With Eros, there is great risk, and often compulsion, whether the beloved is an individual, a creative project or an icon of the divine. When Eros awakens, no mater how unaffected the other planets are, something begins to brew beneath the surface. Given a chance to operate, a potent energy is always unleashed.

The potential rewards of such a union are not measurable by any common standards like success, endurance, wealth or overt meaning. An encounter with Eros does not build empires, launch careers or plan weddings: it grows souls. Without considering the god of love in the horoscope, we may miss the power behind our urge to transform through love, at any price.

Eros, like any planet in the astrological chart, represents a basic human need or drive. He awakens a specific kind of passion, a creative desire and intensity that is colored by the area of the zodiac he falls in. Eros by sign describes our approach to erotic union--the kind of experience that brings two or more people together in such a way that there is a lasting transformation.

By studying the sign placement of Eros, we can better integrate the diverse needs and drives of this asteroid. In an archetypal sense, the signs have a distinct way of relating to both inner and outer experiences. Acknowledging those distinctions is a step towards becoming more complete.

Eros and long term relationships may seem initially like a contradiction of terms. For hundreds of years, the archetype of the wife and mother, the Hera or Juno, have contrasted markedly with those of the seductive and erotic Aphrodite or Inanna. Relationships themselves carry similar connotations with stable, but possibly mundane marriages contrasting tantalizing, but possibly erratic and short lived affairs.

One of the first things Richard Idemon made clear when he talked about relating was the difference between the erotic and static relationship. Idemon felt that very few relationships, sexual or otherwise, are erotic in the sense that they create a deep and lasting transformation. The danger, risk and pain involved in the erotic experience makes it difficult to embrace for any length of time, and the conscious myths about relationship usually say they have to be safe, secure, nourishing and long lasting.

Relationships based on Eros, however, are anything but safe. They involve taking risks, breaking taboos, experiencing separation and death, facing change in oneself and in the other, and relating on an adult to adult level. In other words, they can be painful, confronting and traumatic, as well as creative, energizing and validating. The primary goal, as described by Idemon, of the erotic relationship is growth and intimacy. These are qualities that may come from safety and security only when there is room for the unexpected and the unknown.

Conversely, the primary goal of the static relationship is to protect, at all costs, a familiar and predictable security. There are no risks because the roles are well defined and change discouraged. Each partner knows what the other is thinking or wanting before even being asked. Their responses are anticipated and familiar, generating the safety experienced when we know what is coming next.

“Most relationships are unconscious, and conventionally set-up arrangements, which conform to collective norms, and ignore the individuation requirements and the particularities of the participants.”

These static relationships provide a safe container for marriage or long term relationship. Pragmatic considerations take priority and individual growth or transformation is not determined a necessary or desirable component.

Instead of the independence of the erotic relationship, co-dependency and parental projections have a major emphasis in the static union. Instead of the trust found in the erotic, the static relationship contains deceitful and counterfeit communication that says, “What he does not know wont hurt him” or “she would not want to know aboutthis anyway, so let’s not tell her.” Truth is avoided or not mentioned if it threatens the stasis of the union.

Static relationships are apt to avoid passion and assertiveness, as these qualities, like Mars, tend to stir things up and get things moving which is not the static relationship’s goal. The kind of passion and energy moving through an erotic relationship is enough to ignite our whole existence, altering the world view, hence the major risk. The fires of Eros burn a victim to dross. This is like the alchemists flame burning the wolf in his sealed alembic. We can never be certain what will remain of the familiar when the fires cool and the ashes settle.

This kind of uncertainty explains why the majority of all relationships are, for a large percent, static. It also explains why the experience of Eros is so profound. When blessed with an arrow from the god of love, a constant happy ever after is not what winged cupid seems to have in mind! However, if we are willing to lay upon his altar, we are promised a change of the most potent kind.

We can not expect to marry Eros. If his wings are clipped and he is cooped up in the day to day business of dirty socks, demanding children, mundane jobs, rent and food bills, he will die as quick as by driving a knife into his heart.

“Married, we take the long view, bend in our lives to the demands of order, safety, family, the future--all necessary in their ways to happiness and satisfaction but having little to do with Eros.”

Eros does not dwell in the domain of familiar routine. He will starve to death on a diet of predictable, enduring, constant security and social correctness. Just as one can not stay in the throws of Eros all the time without burning to a cinder, so Eros can not live in the laundry room or kitchen sink of life. The problem is that the myth of romantic loves says he can, and he should!

The devastating injury and suffering that arrives shortly after Eros disappears can cripple an unsuspecting relationship. The disillusion felt by bride and groom when they stare across the table at one another, struggling in vain for a glimpse of the erotic past, can fold the marriage up into a paralyzed routine of numbed feelings and unexpressed needs. The contrast between what was experienced as union with the god and the now barren wasteland of his abandonment creates a gulf that few lovers know how to bridge.

However, Eros seldom leaves a long-term relationship to its own stasis for long.

“Though banished or bored, he does not keep away. Somewhere in his retreat he whirls around and returns: marriages break open; the doors swing wide; again the winds rise and the windows rattle, the clothes lift from the line and the shingles fly from the roof; the houses we have built tremble on their foundations. We find we love the wrong people or too may people, we're tossed this way or that, blood running, hearts aching, souls a swoon, and, yes, all of the jealousies and fears of flesh set free again like furies.”

The return of Eros to the long-term relationship can wreck as much havoc as his disappearance. Sometimes Eros rekindles the fires of passion between the familiar couple. More often, the fires are brought to the home hearth from outside the union in the form of the other man, or the other woman. How ever he is evoked, the return of Eros heralds an opportunity for transformation and realignment. This may end a static relationship, or it may infuse it with potent new possibilities. It is in this way that Eros brings new life to that which has become sterile.

Many relationships starve helplessly for this new life as emphasis remains on the static. Most long term union’s primary goal has nothing to do with love or companionship or erotic desire for closeness but simply reaffirms the personal beliefs of those involved, and that can get stifling.

“I believe that the most fundamental need in relationship is the revalidation of our basic myths...we want to keep re-creating through our interaction with others the myths we have about ourselves and our lives in general.”

This explains the attraction to and participation in, often over and over again, relationships that are compulsive, violent, damaging, devaluing or in some way represent a pattern of belief that seemingly limits potential. These relationships are pursued, however, with the conscious goal of love and union in mind. It seems the unconscious objective of recreating basic patterns and myths is deeply buried yet significantly in command.

Jung suggested two main models operate in marriage. One is the pursuit of well being and the other of salvation. They correspond nicely to the static and erotic model.

“...(“well being”) approximates to conventional marital expectations, and the concern with material security, physical health, rearing of offspring, and what might be loosely termed happiness. The (“salvation”) model is more concerned with life's meaning, with life being meaningful for the two distinct individuals (in their "otherness"). It is concerned with marriage as a vessel for development and transformation which...entails substantial suffering as part of the process.”

One of the greatest steps towards understanding and perhaps enhancing long-term relationships is conscious awareness of the underlying beliefs in this complex area of life. A simple and insightful exercise demonstrates the relationship between personal myths and beliefs about union and the actual experience one has.