posted December 28, 2005 02:19 PM              

Hey

I got thinking about this while witnessing an air and fire sign arguing - lasted bloody forever!
Anyway, the air sign made a point that you only get offended by something if you believe it’s true…or you think it’s true.

So it got me thinking. If someone made a really stupid comment like “you were born in the morning, while I was at night…therefore I’m far superior”
I would just laugh my head off.

But if they said “you’re British while I’m French, hence I’m better”
I admit, I’ll get offended - I know stupid

Is it maybe a part of me thinks it’s true? And I’m questioning myself - then become angry because of how I feel? - this is all hypothetical.

And the funny thing is - that whole superiority thing is all BS…so why would I believe it’s true?

What if someone said one Sun sign is better than the other, would you get offended?

Thinking out load I suppose

Forgive me Randall for playing around with my screen names - not intentional
*edited
Forgive me Randall for spelling your name wrong

posted December 28, 2005 04:25 PM              

Rede
“I've noticed a friend of mine (a gemini) who gets offended easily and she's got some major insecurities going on…”
I wonder if there’s a correlation between getting offended easily and insecurity.

“Waternymph/Neptunesmermaid......make up your mind!! You're acting like a Libra!!! LOL”
I was thinking that this morning. I spent an hour or more, no lie!!, deciding what to have for breakfast or whether to skip it

posted December 28, 2005 06:24 PM              

When I sense it's all about pride, I ask myself if this person is acting like he or she hates me or not, even if it's in the moment I will be very offended. But if I believe that I was not meant to be hurt, that it's about pride, then I act as if I am being criticized for something I said or did in the moment.

Which my ego doesn't accept.

I get in a lot of arguments with air signs who believe I act in a superior way, and talk too much about things I do not know about. My argument is that the smartest people are not afraid to ask questions, and if that answer is confrontational then it's stupid in the first place.

Even the Queen of England doesn't have all the darn answers! Get over it!

But usually the best kind of argument is a short one.

posted December 28, 2005 06:26 PM              

If you are in a commitment with a person as a friend, then it's okay to doubt once in a while-but if this person is not close then it's best to react right away, as in cut it out, so that you stand up for yourself. A good friend will cut it out and not hurt your feelings. Anyone else, even a co-worker will respect you for reacting a bit.

posted December 28, 2005 06:37 PM              

As for getting offended, I'm already kinda used to the idea that Cap is not the most interesting sign of the zodiac, even though it's offensive if it's just thrown out there because the person read it in a magazine and decided to use to display 'knowledge'.

Some people are a lot more susceptible to offensive behavior, others just shrug it off, a lot depends on the person, planet placements and all.

posted December 29, 2005 01:08 AM              

Sometimes you might just instinctively disagree to what the person is doing, so much so that you react to it assertively. For instance the France Uk comparison.. I’d find the concept of someone making a discriminatory statement like that, very stupid.. I don’t agree with those sorts of put downs.. so my anger wouldn’t be personal at all and it wouldn’t be coming from being offended.. It would come from the principle.. that this shouldn’t happen.. and this person is doing/saying something, that according to my set of principles is wrong. That also goes for comparing sun signs on a good/bad scale…which again I’d find extremely silly. Anything at all that seems fake to me, completely non-spiritual and unfair will bother me.. Putting people down..on a large scale, like an entire country or an entire sign..is something that I will always react to badly.. whether it’s my own sign/country etc.. or someone else’s.. It does come from taking offence.. but it isn’t being offended at the remark in itself…but offended at the fact that there is still such narrow-mindedness in the world..and it leaves me feeling very sad disappointed and angry that no matter what I do won’t change that.. and people will get hurt by it..

At the end of the day, we all have our individual souls.. and we all make our mistakes and I’m sure that we pay our dues.. I don’t think anyone is above or beneath anyone else.. Any remark that implies this will get a bad reaction from me.

Also, while sometimes you DO get offended, like I said ..by things because they are true.. and only you can know this.. rationally.. other times this is the typical cheap remark an offender would give as a comeback “oh you’re only reacting because you know it’s true”.. simply because they have no better comeback. I guess it depends who says this to you and how pure their intentions are.. If my mum, for instance.. said this to me quite seriously.. I would believe her and I would think about the situation twice.. If, on the other hand some bit*chy person..who didn’t have a strong argument to start with and who made some blanket statement ..decides to chuck this in the conversation.. because they are out of anything else to say.. I wouldn’t even see that as remotely worth thinking about.

Jkxx,

quote:

---

It's true, more domineering signs/people in general tend to test those around them to see how much the other person will take before getting defensive.

---

See, that particular approach wouldn’t make me defensive as much as angry that anyone would try to “test” anyone else.. and you can feel it. If someone genuinely has a problem with me or genuinely insults me because that’s how they genuinely feel, that’s absolutely fine and I won’t get offended.. I’d prefer to hear it and know. But if they say or do things on purpose to get a reaction, that is way to calculated and childish (I know that sounds oxymoronic, but it makes sense when you think about it - calculated in a immature manner – for a childish purpose) for my liking. If someone tries to test in this way, I think I pretty much disappear and they have no one left to test.. It implies a superiority complex.. it isn’t just domineering.. Superiority complexes are a massive red flash light to me lol.. might as well be saying *Lady, pls walk in the opposite direction.. I am not yet mature enough to understand everyone is equal and if you get close to me, my opinions will frustrate and annoy you*..

quote:

---

As for getting offended, I'm already kinda used to the idea that Cap is not the most interesting sign of the zodiac

---

posted December 29, 2005 03:00 AM            

quote:

---

Waternymph/NeptunesMermaid......make up your mind!! You're acting like a Libra!!! LOL

---

no, sweety, you're acting like............. ....a pisces?!

quote:

---

whatever it is you got upset about

---

Now I don't get upset over such things.

Usually people start bashing at some astrosign because they were hurt by that particular sign and it is kinda letting off steam.

Also I do not identify myself and my self-worth as well as others' worth with my/their interests, preferences or hobbies etc so I get along well with people that differ from me very much.

It is all about (self)respect and savoir vivre.

posted December 29, 2005 03:48 AM              

me
me
me

oh dear
poor
me

insecure
sore
e.g.o.

work
to
be
done

as we age
and learn
it does
become
easier

posted December 29, 2005 05:04 AM              

When someone says something bloody ridiculous like the French comment (which is so stereo-typical and stupid it is actually hilarious), why would you possibly be offended? Laugh at them as they deserve.

Nobody will ever be perfect and if you were always unoffended (new word?) you would never get the internal warning signs that tell you perhaps a change is needed for your personal evolution.

The more it happens the more it uncovers what you are unhappy about (or unsure of) in yourself.

No need to be paranoid about it at all (not saying you are), just realise life is about 2 things primarily.

Balance and growth.

posted December 29, 2005 07:20 AM              

On saying that, being offended could definately mean that you're insecure about the issue/topic, if you really are insecure. You'd just have to work that out for yourself. It's very personal and depends on the situation. Like the being born in the morning/night and British/French example, I too would be laughing at the lameness of someone thinking that being born in the morning is inferior to being born at night, since I don't take that kind of 'logic' reasonable enough to prove superiority. Like you WN, if someone said they were better than me because of their nationality or country, I'd be a little offended because I'm patriotic enough to be a little offended by that at least for a good two seconds. lol. That's what I grew up into and transformed into my personality - by my choice and my weights on whether or not I'm going to be offended and to what degree.

If it's pride or fear (like sthenri said) or any other self-serving/self-preserving (although that may be harsh as we are humans after all) emotion which motivates one to continue with the conversation/argument/attack/etc. then being offended by that can less likely mean insecurity of yourself. It could be several things like shame [in them], dissappointment, or an indication that they're insecure or even in need of a bear hug. lol. *shrugs*

quote:

---

But if they say or do things on purpose to get a reaction, that is way to calculated and childish

---

posted December 29, 2005 01:11 PM              

Of the two ways of living your life, which do you think is lovier - going around trying to make everyone "content, good-humored, satisfied, and calm"? Or accept that each person has the right to be "offended" if they want to be?

Maybe there will come a day in my lifetime when we can keep an open dialogue as to why one may be feeling "offended" without anyone becoming "offended". The word is like a mad drunk who shows up uninvited, as if the embodiment of Chaos itself. (Ooooh... I'm scared...) - constipating everyone's space so nothing can breathe, cutting off all useful communication, and therefore, any possibility for progress.

Who let that mad drunk in anyways?

posted December 29, 2005 01:12 PM              

I definitely agree with Natasha, that it mostly involves pride. It also hurts if that person is intentionally trying to hurt you…it’s a jab at your self esteem, so you start thinking…why are they doing this to me? Why are they trying to hurt me? Did I do something wrong?
That’s what upsets me…questioning and doubting myself.

“if this person is not close then it's best to react right away, as in cut it out, so that you stand up for yourself.”

True. I always stand up for myself, unless I feel the person is not worth it.

“It's true, more domineering signs/people in general tend to test those around them to see how much the other person will take before getting defensive.”
Omg Jkxx what would happen to me, I get upset sooooo quickly.

“I'm already kinda used to the idea that Cap is not the most interesting sign of the zodiac”

I find that so silly. Why would anyone think that? The reality is, Capricorns are usually very social ( and sometimes fake, no offence ), so I find that odd. They’re usually very popular, similar to Virgo…there goes astrology!

allycat
“a great teacher once told me the when we (or I)...react to people it's because they're holding a mirror up for us.”

Seriously, after reading that…I went into a meditating kinda phase. There’s a lot of truth in that, will think on it later

“the notion that certain things and people come into our lives just when we need them...to gain a better understanding of ourselves.
But it's all ego work really... cause you're right when you say when we really think about these things...they don't really matter and we aren't really that upset about them.
I think when i get upset it's because someone has devalued something that i've made part of my identity.”

I’m definitely understanding more about myself through this…who knew, knowledge is power! Perhaps when someone look at their fears more closely, they learn there’s nothing to be scared of…

“WN, sometimes people do get offended because either consciously or unconsciously they see a grain of truth in it..but I don’t think this is always the case.. every time you get offended.”
Lauren, I agree…if someone tells me something I’m not ready to hear, I get upset…but secretly think about it later lol to understand why.

I’m so similar to what you said. If I see a wrong, I naturally get upset as to why this is ok, and why is it allowed to happen. No matter what the scale.

“I don’t think anyone is above or beneath anyone else”

Good point, and true.
The reality is, there is no such thing has superiority…it’s all in our minds. Where does this come from? Is someone made that French comment ( of course no offence to anyone who’s French ), I would still get upset…even tho I know it’s completely false…yet I still get upset over a lie.

“If my mum, for instance.. said this to me quite seriously.. I would believe her and I would think about the situation twice.. If, on the other hand some bit*chy person..who didn’t have a strong argument to start with and who made some blanket statement ..decides to chuck this in the conversation.. because they are out of anything else to say.. I wouldn’t even see that as remotely worth thinking about.”

You’re a much stronger person on the inside than I am. I wouldn’t have taken offence from my mum, because I know she wont lie to me - plus I’m used to it lol she’s got a Scorp Mer. And I trust her, and she trusts me.

But someone b1tchy, I would get offended very quickly and lose my temper…I just can’t control that thing!! And I get defensive.

Peri!!! lol I swear I spent that morning texting in the kitchen, while my sister questioned why there so long.

If someone said something like “Pisceans are weirdo and junkies”
I would laugh so much.
But if they said “you’re a Piscean and will amount to nothing”
I would be really upset. Even tho I know, I’ll amount to something. But just picking up on that hatred and anger would really hurt.

“It is all about (self)respect and savoir vivre.” so true.

posted December 29, 2005 01:18 PM              

Swerve
“no-one can ever offend you unless they say something you agree with about yourself on some level.”

And that scares me!

“When someone says something bloody ridiculous like the French comment (which is so stereo-typical and stupid it is actually hilarious), why would you possibly be offended? Laugh at them as they deserve.”

Like I said to Lauren, I know that it stupid…there’s no doubt there. But it still would hurt ( ok not deeply but still ), and I don’t know why. My brain is telling me this person’s a complete joke…yet my emotions react totally differently.

I think you’re right about the evolution thing. Maybe to grow from the inside you need to understand and work on the painfully dark side of you…hence I’m scared lol awww

F-J
“If it's pride or fear (like sthenri said) or any other self-serving/self-preserving (although that may be harsh as we are humans after all) emotion which motivates one to continue with the conversation/argument/attack/etc. then being offended by that can less likely mean insecurity of yourself. It could be several things like shame [in them], dissappointment, or an indication that they're insecure or even in need of a bear hug. lol. *shrugs*”

lol
You’re right, pride has a lot to do with it.
I’m more offended if someone’s intending to upset me. If the intention is pure, I’m ok…no matter what they say…well mostly

“I too would be laughing at the lameness of someone thinking that being born in the morning is inferior to being born at night, since I don't take that kind of 'logic' reasonable enough to prove superiority. Like you WN, if someone said they were better than me because of their nationality or country, I'd be a little offended because I'm patriotic enough to be a little offended by that at least for a good two seconds. Lol.”

;-D but why do you think we would get offended by one and not the other? We know but are complete lies, but we still get offended by one and not the other.

“The word is like a mad drunk who shows up uninvited, as if the embodiment of Chaos itself.”

lol AJ

“Maybe there will come a day in my lifetime when we can keep an open dialogue as to why one may be feeling "offended" without anyone becoming "offended".”

I’d never ( or rarely ) get offended if the intention was not to offend. But how do you know what the intent is sometimes? Will need to ponder on that.

posted December 29, 2005 01:29 PM              

Like if someone tell me I have ugly handwriting I get sort of sad.

posted December 29, 2005 01:36 PM              

if we are
sure of
ourselves
we shall
not be
offended

work
to
be
done

i
was
you
once

posted December 29, 2005 06:34 PM              

That way there is no meditating on the insult.
If it hurts, thinking about it isn't going to help-not ever.

People who do not love you, never teach you lessons-I never forget that a comment that is meant to hurt does not reflect on me AT ALL.

i deal with a lot of corporate people too, and they can be mean spirited to test-I have come to never put up with an ounce or an inch because it's not me, and it helps to keep others in check-even if I come across mean for a moment I am respected later, especially by those with lives.

Mean people do suck, but most importantly they do not have intention other than impressing others with their power trips-By laying down the law right away, it saves time and energy later and automatically rejects mini tryrants-

Tyrants dominant others and only see their view, giving in does not help, just makes it worse and pumps up the ego.

Those of us with mutable Mercury's have to be agile to lay down the law, we don't look mean. I usually say that's interesting-dont' we have something to do? I know I do, bye.

if I can't leave, then I say, we have to find something for you to do