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Author Topic:   Does not feeling jealous seem as if you don’t desire/need/want a guy?
WaterNymph
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posted January 17, 2006 05:38 PM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
The only time I’m jealous is when someone steals my spot light…but even that’s not intense.
In a relationship, I give complete blind faith and trust. Suspicious thoughts never go through my head ( maybe subconsciously I feel if you think about it, it materialises ).

Anyway, I give trust and freedom because I desire it in return. If someone trusts you…you can’t help but love them deeply. If they give you space to bloom, you love then even more - well I do anyway.

So why is a lack of jealousy seen as indifference? Or worse, they think you're fooling around or about to leave them…or the relationship doesn‘t mean anything to you How do you remove these feeling from them, and assure them you’re here to stay?

Please post your Sun, Moon & Venus…or whatever you feel matters

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globe trotter
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posted January 17, 2006 05:49 PM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
waternymph- i feel for you. I am known as 'not jealous'. Sometimes it's taken all the way to aloof and distant, which I don't agree with at all. I think I trust people I am intimate with. I have to trust someone in order to be intimate with him anyway and I like having quality time without my significant other, which is something many couples cannot do. That time without my guy, supposedly makes me aloof. Yeah, right.

Cap/Aqua/Aqua

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WaterNymph
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posted January 17, 2006 05:53 PM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
You’re an Aqua Moon mine’s Virgo so basically no unnecessary lovely dovey stuff when I’m in my very practical mood Jealousy and anger is seen as a waste of energy and time.

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hippichick
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Posts: 588
From:
Registered: May 2009

posted January 17, 2006 06:03 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for hippichick     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
jealousy is a lower emotion, likened with fear, worry, guilt, anger, etc. those of us who are able to trust UNCONDITIONALLY do so from the heart and the heart should never be questioned. trust, ie; the lack of jealousy, is a divine thing and demonstrates nothing but solid connection to the divine. i trust everyone from first glance and maintain that trust until it is broken, then one has to work very hard to get it back from me! i have never been jealous, but check out my info:
pisces sun
scorpio rising
mars, mercury and jupiter close conj in aqua

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Swerve
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posted January 17, 2006 06:06 PM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I think jealousy can sometimes be the spark of unbridled passion fearing itself being thwarted.

Its not a weakness or a strength, it just is.

People who are too "cool" worry me a little. My ex-Cancer's best friend on holiday once said to me that she "doesn't do stress". I wondered how she possibly ever got excited by anything. Not to mention the fact she was too young and proud to realise that "Fate's" ears would have pricked up with that particular challenge.

Making someone feel jealous on purpose is insecurity and manipulation at its finest. But, a little bit of uncertainty coupled with passion is very human and very desirable in my opinion.

Otherwise life would be like a bland soup with no herbs or spices to flavour it.

Swerve

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WaterNymph
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posted January 17, 2006 06:35 PM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
hippiechick , we’re very similar btw your post is so true and honest

“i trust everyone from first glance and maintain that trust until it is broken, then one has to work very hard to get it back from me! i have never been jealous,”

I was thinking about this earlier today, about how I give trust easily…and I couldn’t live any other way…but if the trust is broken, I’m wounded and am unable to forget, hence unable to forgive.

Swerve I’m glad to also get a male point of view…so it is as I suspected. My emotional “coolness” is seen as disinterest…and until I’m pushed to cry buckets, I’m a suspicious suspect.

Wait! Swervey-boy don’t’ you have a Scorp Moon?
I’m just teasing but do you think that has something to do with it? “Passionate people” don’t want “bland” or “aloof” people?

Oh and here’s my stats guys
Pisces Sun
Virgo Moon
Aries Venus

Please keep the advice coming guys I need to get a “feel” for this situation.

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SavageScorpio
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posted January 17, 2006 06:36 PM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Sometimes jealousy isn't bad, it can be cute, like the person wants you to care, and sometimes it's like they just want to hurt you. Other times, however, ... if they never intended you to find out about something, and you found out, ... it just shows that they kind of have a disregard for your feelings, and then to have the audacity to want you to be jealous.. I dunno. It's like obviously you don't care about me so why am I going to be jealous... if you have something real that you've built with someone and they lose your trust, than sure.. ALL hell will break loose... but ... if you didn't have the security of knowing it was real in the first place...or it hasn't become a serious thing that you know of..(the person is making a joke of you and messin with your feelings) that just gives you more doubts as to think that it's not going to GET real...

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Swerve
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posted January 17, 2006 06:40 PM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I DO have a Scorpio Moon (and Ascendant, Uranus, North Node, etc).

You got me. Its a personal thing.

And I wasn't labelling you bland darling, just explaining my particular take on that exchange of energies.

I know lots of guys who would really like that, maybe even be excited by the challenge of it.

Swerve

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WaterNymph
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posted January 17, 2006 06:50 PM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
SS thanks for posting I can see why you and a lot of people, believe if you get jealous, you care. I can understand from a mental point of view. My mother is the same way, she doesn’t really get jealous in my eyes, but she claims she is. And she feels it’s important, a way of showing you care.

But I see it as scary lol I don’t like someone getting mad at me…I’m too emotionally sensitive, so if they get jealous, I get scared…like they’re going to hit me or something. I feel jealousy can start out small like “I don’t like you have so many male friends” but has the potential to turn into “where were you?!?!? I called you 5 times!! You were with ______ weren’t you? I hate you, I’m going to his house right now”

And by that time my hearts is doing 200 beats a min

Swerve nah don’t worry, I know you didn’t call me bland

“You got me. Its a personal thing.”

I was thinking more, you need to know the person who’s with you cares...in a way a Scop would appreciate.

“I know lots of guys who would really like that, maybe even be excited by the challenge of it.”

Do you mean the jealous kind? *edited wait no you polly meant the "bland" kind

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astro junkie
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posted January 17, 2006 09:14 PM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
WaterNymph -

I LOVE the spirit with which you brought up this topic. It's been in very recent years that I have been brave enough to put into practice your same courageous outlook. Because break-up's are always happening, and it's important to preserve the life of the heart regardless.

Swerve -

I agree with what you said about the spark of unbridled passion fearing being thwarted. I believe that statement is absolutely true. The only thing I'd consider is the nature of the passion itself. Like that first time we felt that passionate love for someone, and we wanted to kiss passionately and NEVER EVER EVER wanted the kiss to end. It can overtake us and make us become very dependent on the way the person makes us feel. It can become an unhealthy symbiotic bond, echoing our childhood desires and disappointments, some of which can be quite complicated.

So yeah, if someone is hovering over me too much, it's like I have to remind them I'm just one person and cannot satisfy their emotional needs to the extent of their fantasy.

Then I go back to what WaterNymph was saying again, so as not to turn my heart off, to continue being loving, and continue to apply love as much as humanly possible.

REALLY interesting thread.

Although I have a Cancer Moon, and a Scorpio Stellium, I am NOT comfortable with TOO MUCH emotion coming from someone. In fact, I prefer a bit of conscious distance.

Sun Libra
Moon Cancer
Venus Virgo

------------------
... it's better to light a candle than curse the darkness

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sweetlibra
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posted January 17, 2006 11:10 PM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
If someone trusts you…you can’t help but love them deeply. If they give you space to bloom, you love then even more

WaterNymph, right on spot.!

I have an Aqua moon and my venus and mars conj in Scorp. I am not jealous by nature. I give and take freedom. But if my guy doubts / confuses me, then the dark side(jealous) of me comes into play.
But if my guy trusts me, i blindly believe him.
My thought is, if somebody mistrusts you, he/she has the potential to be mistrustful

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Peri
Knowflake

Posts: 1848
From: 49N35 34E34
Registered: Apr 2009

posted January 18, 2006 04:01 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Peri     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
So why is a lack of jealousy seen as indifference?

People that need jealousy from their partners are not sure that they are loved. They try to manipulate their partners and project their own fears onto others to get the proof that their lovers are afraid of losing them and to control them later.
If they don’t succeed they think you don’t love them.

I agree with Sweetlibra, it is all about trust. If you trust yourself, you trust others and vice versa.
People think of others exactly what they think of themselves.
So if someone always says ‘all (wo)men are sure cheaters’, it only means that this person is not sure of his/her own faithfulness.

quote:
If they give you space to bloom, you love then even more

the same here!

quote:
Making someone feel jealous on purpose is insecurity and manipulation at its finest. But, a little bit of uncertainty coupled with passion is very human and very desirable in my opinion.

well-said Swerve!

Sun – Taurus
Moon – Sagittarius
Venus – Aries
Dsc - Cancer

P.S. 'The only time I’m jealous is when someone steals my spot light…'
is your Sun in the 1st house?

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Scorpionic Web
Knowflake

Posts: 67
From: Philadelphia
Registered: Apr 2009

posted January 18, 2006 05:15 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Scorpionic Web     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I can only comment about women.

For me, it all depends on the girl, how the relationship forms, and the direction it takes.

Sometimes I've fallen deeply for girls and simply don't feel threatened.

At other times, a girl might make me quite suspicious. Jealousy has roots in suspicion, and some relationships can be hard for my psyche to take when I truly feel there is cause for concern.

But I usually break up the relationship if I feel it getting to that point.

But then, I don't know if I've ever really been in love.

I've obsessed.

I just can't take games anymore.

I don't care if I get dumped. Just don't cheat on me.

Most girls don't give me a reason to be jealous.

Scorpio Sun
Libra Moon
Scorpio Venus
Capricorn Mars
Leo Ascendant

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WaterNymph
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posted January 18, 2006 06:52 AM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
AJ thanks hun You’re a Libra with a water Moon, same as Zala and my mum…I think it’s a really nice combo, and suits females well

sl “My thought is, if somebody mistrusts you, he/she has the potential to be mistrustful”
I really believe that’s true, I mean of course there are a few exceptions, but most of the time, that’s pretty accurate.

I think if your Moon is considered “detached” like Aqua or “dead on the inside” like Virgo it’s doesn’t really make you that jealous.
Must be a Moon thing.

Peri

“So if someone always says ‘all (wo)men are sure cheaters’, it only means that this person is not sure of his/her own faithfulness.”

Somebody kept saying that in Free for All "you don’t see the world the way it is, but the way you are" hey!!! I was preaching that ages ago!

“People that need jealousy from their partners are not sure that they are loved. They try to manipulate their partners and project their own fears onto others to get the proof that their lovers are afraid of losing them and to control them later.
If they don’t succeed they think you don’t love them.”

You see this is what hurts why must someone who claims to care for you want to see you in pain…in order to feel secure. That hurts - that I must feel pain, to make his pain go away.

“is your Sun in the 1st house?”

Oooooooh yes


SW
“At other times, a girl might make me quite suspicious. Jealousy has roots in suspicion, and some relationships can be hard for my psyche to take when I truly feel there is cause for concern.

But I usually break up the relationship if I feel it getting to that point.”

You don’t play the “I’ll make you insecure” game. Like everyone who’s not a masochist, if you don’t feel happy and secure in a relationship, you walk away.

“Most girls don't give me a reason to be jealous.”
Do you think that’s because of your air Moon? I'm really thinking it's a Moon thing.

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Swerve
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posted January 18, 2006 07:47 AM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I would say its a Moon thing myself.

Air Moons seem to just not get involved in the insecure emotions side of things.

But, for me, they lack the depth of feeling I consider nessecary to delve into love's deeper levels. Nothing in life worth having comes without risk. Love is in the end the greatest adventure of all, and it tugs at every part of us, our strengths and weaknesses.

A love without flaws cannot be considered love. If we could love that way already we wouldn't be here in this realm, we would have moved on to somewhere far more evolved.

Remember, make-up sex is always the best - then consider why that is.

Swerve

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villy
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posted January 18, 2006 12:42 PM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Thanks WN, I too wanted the same topic of jealousy to come up out here. The reason being I went through some jealous moments When the female towards whom I am bit attracted ignores me (like turning away the spotlight) or she interacts with someone else, the jealosuy thoughts come in my mind There is no relation other than a friendly colleague one, its just that I got some wrong thoughts making me feel that she has a soft corner for me making me feel attracted towards her. Sigh... hope it goes away for good.

Scorp Web, yeah suspicious instances also might lead to jealousy.

I don't think lack of jealousy would be treated as indifference in a loving intimate relationship. Jealousy might come only when the relationship has not grown its roots deep down, which means the trust hasn't been built up to the deepest level. Jealousy might occur even in trusting intimate relationship (when things go wrong), however lack of it shouldn't be criteria.

I won't go for making someone else feel jealousy on purpose (Pisces - won't be causing hurtful situations to others). Also not all jealous situations turn out to be something which might lead to ANGER. If it does then that relationship has something wrong going in it. I guess we are all human and would be possessive of our relationships and loved ones; in which case there is bound to have some kind of jealousy whenever a particular situation arises.

Being a Pisces Sun, I am of trusting nature (though many times I find myself going into logical mode of thinking and evaluating all kinds of combinations in terms of 'is the situation trustful' - not talking of relations out here, as hadn't many instances in my life to get trustful relationships discussed out here)

Yes, for we Pisces if trust gets broken, its so painful. Even the thought of someone not trusting us for something makes my heart cry and feel bad.

Hey WN, "You see this is what hurts why must someone who claims to care for you want to see you in pain…in order to feel secure. That hurts - that I must feel pain, to make his pain go away." that’s a Piscean’s logic (I guess it might be true to other signs also )

V

------------------
Pisces Sun, Ascendant-Sagi, Moon/Mercury/Venus in Aries, Mars - Cancer

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WaterNymph
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posted January 19, 2006 08:43 AM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Swerve I’ve also read ( I think in love signs ),if a Pisceans Venus is badly aspected, it could cause jealousy. I guess that could apply to any sign.

Villy that’s tough…I’m been in that situation. But it’s not that bad, there’s prolly something better waiting around the corner.

“Jealousy might come only when the relationship has not grown its roots deep down, which means the trust hasn't been built up to the deepest level”
True wise words.

“I guess we are all human and would be possessive of our relationships and loved ones; in which case there is bound to have some kind of jealousy whenever a particular situation arises.”

But isn’t jealousy a negative feeling towards that loved one? Couldn’t it easily turn to hate or resentment? I don’t like picking up these bad vibes from someone, it’s upsetting and hurtful.

“Yes, for we Pisces if trust gets broken, its so painful. Even the thought of someone not trusting us for something makes my heart cry and feel bad.”
We are similar fishes swimming in the same ocean my friend

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villy
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posted January 19, 2006 12:12 PM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
***
But isn’t jealousy a negative feeling towards that loved one? Couldn’t it easily turn to hate or resentment? I don’t like picking up these bad vibes from someone, it’s upsetting and hurtful.
**
Yep it is negative feeling towards the loved one. I think it would depend on situation to situation, if the situation is where the other person feels jealous for petty reasons and cause hurt to the other person, it is just not acceptable (both the person need to have a serious talk on such a relationship). Its very important to not such a situation to turn out into hate or resentment. I guess someone also mentioned insecurity (indirectly relates to depth of a relationship), which is another cause of jealousy.

Someone blaming you for not being jealous and expecting you to be jealous by acting smart is ridiculous thing to do. Its like hurting the person knowingly, which is not acceptable.

I too don't like negative vibes. I sometimes have felt suffocation probably due to negative vibes (mentioning probably as being a Piscean we understand so many things and situations that it sometimes becomes difficult to understand a negative vibe - I guess thats where we might feel/sense and not understant the negativity - how about you?).

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LeoLys
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posted January 19, 2006 03:28 PM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
OK....I'll be the bad girl here

I am Jealous AND Untrustworthy. Not nice things to admit, but I am hoping 2006 is a major year for personal growth. I think maybe I'm due.

My dh is a Virgo, and yeah, he doesnt need a bunch of this lovey dovey, passsion, emotional type of stuff. Just doesnt need it. I just die without feelings relating to emotional passion. and since he isnt so demonstrative about 'passionate' types of feelings, I would probably view jealousy as a sign that he DOES still have a thing for me. Anything! Just something a little emotional would be ok. what is love without it? He doesnt seem to need this constant profession!

The teenage soul...
Lys

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WaterNymph
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posted January 20, 2006 04:45 AM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Your post hit the nail on the head villy

quote:
I too don't like negative vibes. I sometimes have felt suffocation probably due to negative vibes (mentioning probably as being a Piscean we understand so many things and situations that it sometimes becomes difficult to understand a negative vibe - I guess thats where we might feel/sense and not understant the negativity - how about you?).

So true vil ( I couldn‘t think of any other abbreviation ), same here

Leo no one said you’re bad, it’s all about perception I guess. I’m not saying jealous people are bad, rather I feel bad when I’m expected to feel that way

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sthenri
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posted January 20, 2006 07:00 AM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Leos, do have a tendency to exaggerate, which is why we dont' date-
Seems to be more of a trait of wanting to be liked, rather than calculation?

Threw that in because having dated two Leos, I don't understand them at all! They don't trust easily.

Natasha
Taurus
Cancer Moon

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