posted January 30, 2006 09:10 PM              

He has been calling me and sending me love songs, calling me sweetie, honey, telling me he loves me when he knows he can't spend any time with me until July.

It angers me that it hurts so much. This week it seriously affected my state of mind to the point where I missed an interview on Friday, and cried all day Sun. I can't stand getting these phony messages. His lie is so obvious, he says he cares but he won't drive to see me because he needs new glasses. He stood me up for dinner recently and lies even more.

Is the LIbra male just a twisted sadistic individual bent on destroying me???? I have asked him to never say those words unless he means it, as I am sick of especially certain air sun sign men in my life twisting their words around to sound beautiful to get some gratification of the moment, like drug addicts, they can't be trusted to be there tomorrow and it makes me bitter. Nobody can love this man, he's never there.

What do you do in this case? How do you fight off toxic love and keep from self sabotaging yourself? I even wonder if I am need to mental help to keep from letting these kinds of sick people into my life. Is he in love or does he hate me?? I am seriously considering a prescription for antidepressants, or anything else that destroy any thoughts of that man for the rest of the winter, especially through Valentine's Day.

What can I do to get the Libra to stop torturing or at least ACT like he loves me instead of just saying so?? Nothing is more sadistic than torturing someone with false promises.

posted January 30, 2006 09:25 PM              

First of all, I am sorry that you are feeling a bit down and blue...if you feel that an anti-depressant will help for the next 6 months or so...go ahead and speak with your physician to see if it is right for you at this time. You may know this already-the meds can take 6-8 weeks to begin to be effective so begin sooner than later...

Secondly, for the past many months, I have seen your many, many posts about this Libra, or that Cancer whoever...bottom-line, they are not usually positive relationships. The common factor in all of them is You.

Perhaps you might consider not looking for happiness in another person and instead, find your own balance of joy in yourself. Good self-esteem comes from within and when there are times where we can't seem to find it...we must take the time to look for it on our own. Spend some time loving yourself. Try and stop looking for others to give it to you. Surround yourself with only positive friends....even if there is just one. Either way, you must delve into your Soul and heal that persistant pain which pervades your Life.

Consider clearing your slate from all of these people with whom you have had relations. Clear the weeds away. Relax and play soothing music....learn to live a bit more independently and less needing of a man's approval or anyone else's for that matter. Approve of yourself and work towards a better you--one who is capable of making good choices in her Life.

Just a suggestion for you Natasha. It is way overdue time for you to focus on yourself and what you can do to take charge of your Life. Begin to do so if you want true Happiness....Remember-it all begins with YOU!!

posted January 31, 2006 09:26 AM              

I'm so sorry for your frustration. I'm aware of things you've shared in the past, and which may still be difficult issues for you to cut through. But I'm confident that you'll have a break through soon.

As for that Libra charm, do not allow it to affect you in this way. You're allowed to do that. And I'm not sure what your spiritual base is, but devote yourself to it. Us Cancer Mooners need to devote ourselves to a higher source on a regular basis. It's there waiting for us with love, and it's there with us until the end. Don't be afraid to receive it regularly (every Sunday?) - the forgiveness inherent in the process is a very important component, and it will improve the quality of the relationships you seek. This has been my experience, and I wish the same for you.

At the very least, you'll realize it was always there for you, and your subconciously motivated self-imposed suffering was completely unnecessary.

posted January 31, 2006 10:30 AM              

We're there for you,

posted January 31, 2006 11:01 AM            

Sthenri that is true but you allowed yourself to be sucked into them and you knew how he is. Ignore his attempts to woo you with that kind of stuff. I know how Libra men can be I have had a few myself, they are said to be about balance but I do not know, they are too dang on flighty to me. And that Merc in Scorp is something in itself. He had alot of the same placements or another Libra I know. Yours seems to be worst. He has Gem moon and Venus in Virgo, not stable to me at all...

posted January 31, 2006 12:28 PM              

Why not just tell him to P*** off?

Here's a tip: invent an imaginary man and love him, and then he will materialize of his own accord!!!!!

I had a first date with a Gemini from match.com on Saturday, who had apparently wanted to meet me for ages. He phoned up at 9.00 in the morning to check whether everything was okay for that date, and it was (for me at least). So I set off to the place we were meant to meet at, and arrived on time (12:00). When I got there I phoned him to see how he was getting on, and he said he was still (at the place where he lives) as the train was 40 minutes late. This made me a little suspicious as he had told me the journey into central London from where he lived was 1 1/2 hours. Anyway: it got to 1:00, still no show. I went into a couple of exhibitions because I thought I wasn't going to waste my time, and received a call at 1:35 from this guy to say that he was on his way. Anyway, I gave him instructions as to how to get to the place (I had offered several times before and he wouldn't take them). 2:00: still no show. That's it, I thought, and went home and wrote him an email saying I thought it was better we didn't arrange another date, as 2 hours' lateness without a good explanation or even an APOLOGY!!! was too much. That I had a busy day (I did indeed, as I had to drive to Oxford for a party that night) and could not hang around!!!!!

I mean, some guys...they must be having a laugh!!!!!

Haven't heard from him since, which I am actually thankful for, as from our very first contact I felt rather uneasy about him, and I couldn't put my finger on why.

If there's one thing I hate, it's to be played around. Don't let yourself be played...all these guys are doing is testing you to see if you will put up with their nonsense. You don't have to. Tell yourself you are worth more than that.

posted January 31, 2006 12:39 PM              

I konw these feelings..but dont forget,it is not related to libras..yeah,libras are charm,romantics,etc...I had nearly same problem with 2 LEO MEN...Nearly i feel the same thing...1.leo man wass so selfish and i dont realized when he said me we were just friends..he used me..and i depressed nearly 1 years..i promised my self i never date or friendship with a leo man...when 2.leo man was effecting me...

again love letters,gifts,lovely behaviours..and again i lost my self..he run...and i decided to forget him in 1 month..yeah you heard right..:because my fault was my experience...

so...i decided to i am effecting leo men so muchhhh..but they are bad for me,i saw that what ever be the reason...may be my chart...

may be your chart,you are effecting libras..it doesnt matter...
DONT FORGET::NOTHİNG İS İMPORTANT THAN YOU..PLEASE TAKE CARE OF YOU..

posted January 31, 2006 01:36 PM              

Sounds like a superficial plonker to me who finds you a great source of ready admiration and emotion to validate himself as someone who can have a "real" relationship. Probably flirts with lots of girls but feels it doesn't have weight to it, or gets beaten at his own game and then comes your way for a little self-esteem boost at your expense.

You aren't a feel good bank though are you?

Natasha, start realising you are a bit special and expect this treatment without asking for it. If they fail to live up to your expectation don't bother wasting more energy trying to grow crops on bad soil.

Not when you have your own beautiful garden growing quite nicely.

Dogs **** on bushes AND roses, they are too dumb to know the difference. Don't expect anything else from them but an occasional cuddle and running around chasing their own tails.

Too much of your wonderful energy expended on them I say.

Oh, and as a side note, stay away from anti-depressants. Waste of time, and you can think yourself out of depression in the time it takes to get the pack in your hand. More than positive thinking. I tried them and felt weird, stopped completely and bought a great book that taught me how to never be depressed again! It workks a treat!!!

Depression is a combination of ineffective and counter-productive thinking patterns and lack of proper deep dreamy sleep that gives the mind the nessecary rest it needs to deal with the anxiety of the day (hence tossing and turning in your bed syndrome). This has been scientifically proven.

posted January 31, 2006 08:29 PM            

Laura

posted January 31, 2006 09:21 PM              

I do appreciate knowing people, and enjoy the knowledge they bring, and the friends they introduce me to, but happiness comes from compromise on both sides, and stability.

I had a hard weekend as well, because one of my tenants has a child molestation issue, which she has to talk about to someone. Her b/f's child by another marriage (13) is on probation for molesting a child at school, so she wanted me to help keep him separated from her daughter by forcing him out of the house. Since I couldn't exactly do that to a 13yr old, I told her to compromise but leave if she had to. Meanwhile the boy kicked the door in so I spend Sat fixing it.

I am so happy this house is for sale. Looking forward to my friends, including one warm and helpful Virgo in NYC. I am ready for my new life.

posted January 31, 2006 10:25 PM              

So I agree about the honesty part of love but in this case there is some lack, because he could easily find his glasses if he wanted to, he is afraid of being physical with me because I may not want him, or because I am not perfect like I was. My view of life is that no one is perfect:> I find it hard to be in love with someone who can't even cuddle, or kiss due to his own issues.

I wonder where Pidua is these days, she has so much optimism.

Thanks Knowflakes,

posted January 31, 2006 11:47 PM            

Here's the advice:
From now on, don't sleep with them. Just sit back and get to know them and enjoy every romantic gesture sent your way. After months go by and he has gotten to know you, and he is STILL trying to add to your happiness, and if you have gotten to know him and you think a deep partnership has a chance, then go for it.
Applies to all men, not just Libras. Not all men will like it or stick around, but it will do wonders for your emotional well-being as a woman. Took me a couple decades of pain, and more than one, "oh, THIS one is different" *pukey face here* to figure it out, but I'll never go back.
I added that last sentence so I didn't sound like a "cold" air sign. It was hard for Cappy moon and AC here to reveal it, but I did, as a gift. Hope it "warmed" up my response? I try.

Swerve,
"Dogs **** on bushes AND roses, they are too dumb to know the difference. Don't expect anything else from them but an occasional cuddle and running around chasing their own tails."
hahhahhahhahhahhahahhhahhahhhehhehehheh

posted February 01, 2006 09:45 AM              

We both decided that we need certain things to get back together and he keeps calling with his feelings so I am not the only one thinking about this. We both agreed we need therapy, and since I am saving money, my ex agreed to do certain things regarding his finances and see a therapist. According to marriagebuilders this is what has known as a realistic plan.

So we set up a realistic plan but he has broken every promise so far, he has not done what he needs to do, get financial couseling. He is scared to go to a therapist alone. He won't get his glasses. He wants me to go with him. He wants me to move in with him while we work things out. That's not the plan for a working relationship, as I can't work near him, and he could easily find work near me. We both need to be self sufficient as he has problems with doing that, he has acknowledged.

This came to a head on Halloween when he said he was very depressed and wanted to be with me, I had agreed it would be best for us to live together if we could work it out. I agreed I wasn't working hard enough in therapy and I am trying to nag him less, be less needy etc.

I accepted his work on all these issues in lieu of working on the physical issues, thinking those would take time. But now I am finding it very hard to wait as he has not done one thing he promised and he is still hanging on. I won't date anyone else, but I can't listen to his promises, or encourage him to do nothing with his life.

I can't be dependent on him like he would like, and that's what he needs to feel like a man again. He lives in a place where I can't work and refuses to move, we can't live on his income.

So I feel bereft of his company and happiness, he also feels like less of a man these days due to his weight gain and his eating habits-
I gave it three months which was I believe a good amount of time, as I have made big changes in my mindset due to therapy.

In any case I have my life to lead at the same time, which I am doing. According to marriagebuilders and my therapist I am doing what is normal and healthy for a relationship to grow, and taking care of myself at the same time. Anything else would be putting too much pressure on myself.

His issue is that I get angry and nag him too much which is true. But three months is enough time to find your glasses, and I have a right to be loved and cared for by someone who is already there for me, not someone I have to nag and force.

posted February 01, 2006 06:00 PM              

To HD... you said '.. the feeling of so called depression has always lined up with a Sat transit for me .. and Chiron ..'
It made me remember that we have transiting Saturn and Chiron opposed right now too!

------------------
`Who are you?' said the Caterpillar. This was not an encouraging opening for a conversation. Alice replied, rather shyly, `I--I hardly know, sir, just at present-- at least I know who I WAS when I got up this morning, but I think I must have been changed several times since then.'
~Lewis Carroll