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Author
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Topic: Help with frustrating Scorpio situation
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LostSoul
unregistered
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posted February 05, 2006 02:50 AM
 
Hey everyone, I'm an Aquarian female and I was very reluctant to get involved with a Scorpio male, but I really felt this connection with him, that I rarely feel with any man.
But it's been a month since we went out for the first time and he's still keeping me at a distance! It's so frustrating. I don't know...I guess I'm asking for advice here. How does one deal with a Scorpio? He was so sweet and charming when we met. Now he's so moody and gets down easily and just withdraws. I don't know what to do anymore besides wait. He didn't write to me for two weeks then he suddenly wrote out of nowhere when I had pretty much given up on him. And now he made me like him again. I was with someone else today but he was on my mind. So yeah, can anyone relate to that? IP: Logged |
ariestiger
unregistered
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posted February 05, 2006 05:14 AM
Erm...yes, they do tend to withdraw for long periods. And it is always the way that when one mentally gives up on them, they "come round".
I think in order to be able to deal with it you need to kind of expect it...don't contact him every second of the day, but just keep the contact coming on a regular basis, to show you care. And then let up for a while - keep it a little unpredictable. Remember that it's not you, it's them, and they tend to get wrapped up in work etc. SO the best thing is to get as busy as they are!! You also say you were reluctant to get involved - did he like you more than you liked him? Maybe he feels this?  AT IP: Logged |
LostSoul
unregistered
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posted February 05, 2006 06:01 AM
ariestiger, thanks for your response. I was reluctant to get involved with any Scorpio male because of the things I have read...mostly that Aquarius and Scorpio is a bad match. I have known a couple of other Scorpio guys too...and they tend to say things that stay in my head and kind of haunt me...it's weird.
But as for this Scorpio, I'm pretty sure now that he knows I like him and not just as a friend. He sort of invited me to go out with him and his friends (though he made it sound like he was doing me a favor by asking me...I'm a loner and don't go out that much), but that didn't happen. So he stayed home alone tonight and invited me over, but I told him it was too late to go anywhere. I said I wanted to be alone with him. And that if he was feeling down, I could keep him company and try to cheer him up. But he never really answers directly...he changes the subject or writes something that doesn't really have anything to do with what I'm trying to tell him...
As for being busy, he sure is. I guess that's another reason we haven't gotten together. IP: Logged |
bohemianjazz
unregistered
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posted February 05, 2006 09:45 PM
I withdrew a lot when my boyfriend pursued me because I was too shy and basically because I was too afraid that I embarrass myself. But I really like him so I gathered courage to come round to him because I didn't want to hurt him and let the chance pass me by. Boy, was that excruciating. Ariestiger was right, I guess it's a Scorpio thing. Just stay around, keep in touch but not too aggressive. Most of the time it's not really the other person, it's us, especially when we really like you.------------------
3rd Decan Scorpio Sun, 1st Decan Aries Moon, 1st/2nd Decan Aquarius Rising IP: Logged |
SweetCappie
unregistered
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posted February 06, 2006 05:37 PM
Is it really a Scorpio thing??
I'm frustrated too. IP: Logged |
Lousianagrl
unregistered
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posted February 06, 2006 06:47 PM
Lostsoul~ Don't we all have scorpio problems?! I mean I'm an aqua also and I felt connected to a scorp guy; then all of the sudden *poof* it was OVER! We broke up 3 weeks ago and can you believe I am still going crazy over him? And you know what he doesn't like me at all anymore. Don't ya hate that feeling?Today I mat a pact to myself saying "OKAY don't talk to Garren!!" then there I was saying "Hey Garren. I called you on saturday to see if you could maybe come over or something but you didn't answer."
He just said "Well I was busy..Oh yeah it was your birthday, wasn't it?"
Last month we were discussing all of the ways we were going to celebrate. Then he didn't even call me on Saturday. Wow this is insane we have pretty much the same problems, seriously. You sound like I did a few weeks ago, lol. My scorp was moody as h*ll also. He was a demon in disguise..Maybe this will all pass over after venus rx  He could be doing this to toy with your feelings. Mine would do that all of the time..What are his placements? Just curious, you understand  .
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mysticme74
unregistered
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posted February 06, 2006 06:56 PM
are scorpios going through something big right now or something? i'm getting the silent treatment from mine. it's amazing the talent they have for making you feel like the most important person on the planet one second.. and completely an afterthought the next. off to pull my hair out... IP: Logged |
Lousianagrl
unregistered
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posted February 06, 2006 07:05 PM
Silent treatment ::shivers::Yeah sometimes mine would call and leave messages like "Hey beautiful. I can't wait until tommorow night.."
then the next day- "Sorry I have to break our date..I forgot about the game on Sunday. call you later."
..Doesn't call later.
Then I see him out somewhere and he just stands there. I ask him "Whats wrong?" and he turns slowly to me and says "Nothing." and just stares at me. Then he turns away. Wtf is wrong with these guys? IP: Logged |
sue g
unregistered
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posted February 06, 2006 07:06 PM
I am a Scorpio woman.....who has had three husbands !!!I drive the men in my life crazy, for sure !! My present husband becomes completely frustrated by my ever changing moods...I am told astrologically I need it intense all the time and if I dont I tend to create dramas (in love).... And yes I do believe Scorpios are going thro huge changes at the moment....I know I am....lifechanging actually....... No advice really, just be prepared for a bumpy, yet exciting ride....... love
xxx IP: Logged |
LostSoul
unregistered
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posted February 06, 2006 07:26 PM
Lol, Lousianagrl, I don't know what their problem is, but I still find them fascinating. I love the intensity actually. I can also be very intense. I'm Aquarius with Pisces rising, so I thought maybe we would be compatible...
I actually don't even know his exact birthdate. I would love to see his birth chart...must be interesting. I'm at the moment trying to guess what his rising sign is...I'm guessing Leo, cause he's such an outgoing, sociable person and knows so many people...but I might be way off.
Oh, about the life changes that Scorpios are going through...I can see that...must be true.
I'd choose frustrating and unpredictable over boring any day. On one hand, he's frustrating me, but on the other, it's kind of like a game and I guess it's fun in a way. IP: Logged |
silvermoon
unregistered
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posted February 06, 2006 07:36 PM
OMG, I've been on the same merry-go-round you describe. Wouldn't wish it on anyone. Met a Scorpio man last year when I wasn't even looking for a relationship and he managed to woo his way into my skeptical heart. He really made me feel like this was "it", a true soulmate connection. But then he said he "needed to work on himself "and left abruptly. Left a huge hole in my heart. I ran into him unexpectedly in a chat and he acted like nothing ever happened and we were still together. That is when I decided to make my own exit, for good...
silvermoon   IP: Logged |
sthenri
unregistered
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posted February 06, 2006 11:23 PM
I believe some with Aqua influences are good. I have Pluto and Uranus trine Sun, and I attract a lot of water men. However I feel sad that nothing lasts and tend to be indecisive so they get frustrated with me, and I get frustrated with the moods. The ones that have Aqua moons, or Venus, or Mars are much less moody and more reliable. That's my suggestion.Otherwise it's mood swings all the time,
lost phones, sexy talk and then nothing. Natasha
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1scorp
unregistered
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posted February 07, 2006 09:00 AM
I'm moody.  But like I once told someone.. you can't change that about a person. It's a part of some people's personality. Asking them to change that is like asking them to change their name. It's unrealistic. I know it's not a terribly great trait... but the other person needs to decide if it's an aspect they can handle or not. It would be the same as someone asking a Gemini not to be so sociable... or an Aries not to be active... or a Libra not to like art. I can change "certain" things about myself... like maybe saying I love you more... or not leaving a dirty towel on the floor... but not my core personality.
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Scorpio sun, venus, mars, mercury, and uranus
Libra moon, pluto, and asc. IP: Logged |
1scorp
unregistered
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posted February 07, 2006 09:15 AM
Also wanted to add that just because someone is moody, it doesn't give them the right to take it out on others. When I'm not in the greatest of moods I go off to be alone. Sometimes it takes a couple of hours... sometimes a couple of days. It's something I almost always have to sort out on my own. I feel it's better to be alone than have someone around me when I'm like that... It's not always someone else's problem nor their job to fix it. Why put another through if you don't have to??  _________________________________________
Scorpio sun, venus, mars, mercury, and uranus
Libra moon, pluto, and asc. IP: Logged |
Stargazer
Knowflake Posts: 46
From: just left of center
Registered: May 2009
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posted February 07, 2006 10:14 AM
I can so relate to all who have posted....
especially the waiting part, the comes around just when you've decided to give up, the lost phones...lol natasha, "poof" disappearing, doesn't call and all the other crap you all have said....If i dared to complain that a need was not being met... then it became worse... he would just take away more... He was unable to come up with even the basics of friendship...much less treat me like the woman he claims to love....Yesterday, after a 2 week long "poof" period... i met him for a drink and when we walked in.. there was a girl sitting across from us at the bar who stated in her drunken haze "Oh i remember you, i was making out with you in here on your birthday"... Ya know, you here rumors and the like and yes, these men tend to be able to get away with stuff most men would never dream of attempting... but faced with the truth about him and that i was only a part of some kind of harem instead of the woman he said he loved...there was nothing he could say... oh he tried... they'll say or do anything... except change.. I said, "So, did this take place just before or after you were here with me... (my memory ****** him off)? He said, "I don't know what you want me to say?" I said, "Don't say anything...your words are meaningless to me and Oh i'll get over it and you... you just remember to always take... never give... and it will all stay real for you...." All this happening as i put my coat back on and walked out the door....it felt great... no more... i can't take anymore... I have reached my threshhold of disgust.... I now need to lose my phone... i know he will call once he feels i have calmed down... but then again maybe not as he was so busted!!! Sorry to vent on your thread..... btw he is a leo risng.... IP: Logged |
1scorp
unregistered
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posted February 07, 2006 10:19 AM
"Don't say anything...your words are meaningless to me and Oh i'll get over it and you... you just remember to always take... never give... and it will all stay real for you...."
I'll have to remember that one. That's great.
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Scorpio sun, venus, mars, mercury, and uranus
Libra moon, pluto, and asc.
IP: Logged |
Stargazer
Knowflake Posts: 46
From: just left of center
Registered: May 2009
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posted February 07, 2006 10:35 AM
1scorp... I must admit, i borrowed the take and give thing from Natasha as she expressed wanting to say that to a Sag moon man (this one is as well)... it was an aha moment as i have felt that way for a while.... and wouldn't ya know... i got the perfect opportunity... add that to my 6th house hex and Aries moon delivery and he was one stunned Scorpion.....You all help me in so many ways.... Thanks!IP: Logged |
celticfyre
unregistered
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posted February 07, 2006 10:42 AM
ooh such a good thread....good for introspection for me that is..  yeah we Scoprios can be a challenging lot. I never really noticed my need to be off alone (maybe because I am an only child and just grew up that way that I didn't notice it) ,but I will do that on occasion and mostly I am not aware of it until I realize "hey I haven't talked to that person in a while and I'll call. There are people I talk to almost every day and there are those I don't ...doesn't mean they are less important to me at all. Sometimes I have withdrawn and not been aware of it and all I need is soembody to call me instead to pull me out of it. We have a tenedency to get sucked down in our own isolation sometimes we need that solitude to recharge but when the solitude turns to isolation sometimes all it takes is a call or e-mail or whatever from a freind to pull me out of it. We sorta have a self induced depression of sorts---you know the Grey Lizard that Linda talked about. In that mood you sorta imagine all sorts of negative things about your self like no one likes me , I have been forgotten about etc....when sometimes you realize that you were the dope that allowed yourself to feel that way in the first place--but Pluto can do that to you. I didn't realize how much of a challenge we were until I tried to understand my Crab....very much alike we are water signs and crustacean and all...lol.
Scoprios in general are supicious of anyone that seems too good to be true or may seem insincere due to being over the top with their attention and compliments. We want security but don't want to be smothered. Someone said about regular contact---not necessarily every day..daily contact is good once a realtionship is well established. We are very direct ,but only when we know what it is we want and early on we are very cautious until we know the person could be trusted with our feelings--and it doesn't matter how much we like them we could like them very much but are still cautious. Scorpios are all about power and control not over others as I think has been misinterpreted (tho I admit there are those bad Scorpios who delight in that sort of thing)its more about maintaining control and power over ourselves----if we let our guard down it is relenquishing power to the other person over our feelings which is a scary thing to a Scorpio because if those feeling get stepped on Voom! up go the walls of protection because it wounds us so deeply. So that is my take on being a moody Scorpio ------------------
ML
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"In my end is my beginning"
Mary,Queen of Scots IP: Logged |
Stargazer
Knowflake Posts: 46
From: just left of center
Registered: May 2009
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posted February 07, 2006 11:02 AM
Celtic.. thanks for your post... i needed to read that.. as my emotions have beed treaded upon and he has a unique way of dragging his feet as he goes... and you are right!! is is about control...and not trusting in too much of a good thing... it's like you all are always waiting for the other shoe to drop....
He did have a hard time accepting all i had to give... somewhere i don't feel he thought he deserved it....He loved the idea of me but the actuality made him nervous and thats why he restricted it to brief encounters... believe me, i went through all the tests...lol..
I know he appreciated my patience, understanding.. and often told me that i was the "complete package".. He still made me suffer. He couldn't help it.. I bring out that intensity that he is always trying to sit on, because it comes down to the fact that either he controls it or it controls him... he hates losing control; and having an intense sexual, emotional, intellectual experience is just thing to cause it... He brought out a lot of my insecurities..... so much that at one point i was swimming in them with my head just above water.... but at another point i was drowned  IP: Logged |
celticfyre
unregistered
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posted February 07, 2006 11:33 AM
Stargazer...
I hear what you are saying about insecurites same thing happened to me with my Crab. He felt the same about me as your scorp felt about you. AND knowing what I knew about the two of our signs I tried REALLY hard not to be so intense but then the holidays came up and everything gets so carried away at that time he felt uncomfortable and didn't feel he deserved me and that he wasn't the one that could return everything I had to give even tho I thought otherwise and probably foolishly still do. So here we all sit in the path of Venus RX destruction.. But hey I don't feel so bad now as I saw one of my guitar heroines, Sheryl Crow has now parted with her Lance----oh well so no one is immune.------------------
ML
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"In my end is my beginning"
Mary,Queen of Scots IP: Logged |
LostSoul
unregistered
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posted February 07, 2006 11:43 AM
Celticfyre, your post helped a lot actually. I was hoping to get responses or possible explanations from other Scorpios as well. I can handle the moodiness...I can understand because I also have self-destructive tendencies...and I tend to be really moody too. In fact, it's funny cause I was thinking, wow, I've met someone more moody than I am...lol. But I have no idea where we stand anymore...like someone mentioned, they make you feel important one day and then the next, they make you feel like you don't matter at all to them. The Scorpio I'm writing about isn't a cheater or anything. He's actually a good guy...at least I think so. He's just very reluctant to let anyone get close to him I guess...
And I have no idea what he thinks of me anymore, which is frustrating...
Anyway, all these posts have helped a lot. IP: Logged |
Stargazer
Knowflake Posts: 46
From: just left of center
Registered: May 2009
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posted February 07, 2006 12:01 PM
"So here we all sit in the path of venus rx destruction" well said!! Lance and Sheryl parted?? Wow! I love her!! All i wanna do!!! is have some fun right now... in the wake of the destruction! It's the best medicine... for me anyway!!! Thanks againLostSoul... i hope things become clear for you soon.... murky is no fun and very frustrating.... IP: Logged |
Stargazer
Knowflake Posts: 46
From: just left of center
Registered: May 2009
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posted February 07, 2006 12:02 PM
"So here we all sit in the path of venus rx destruction" well said!! Lance and Sheryl parted?? Wow! I love her!! All i wanna do!!! is have some fun right now... in the wake of the destruction! It's the best medicine... for me anyway!!! Thanks againLostSoul... i hope things become clear for you soon.... murky is no fun and very frustrating.... IP: Logged |
celticfyre
unregistered
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posted February 07, 2006 12:16 PM
yep I was shocked...I sorta have drawn inspiration from her and her example of a dynamic 40 something woman (I'm 41). i was happy to see that she seemed to have found soemone who matches her intensity and looked to be on the right path for herself getting all that she deserved etc...thougth I was there too..but as I said "here we all sit"...lolYeah murky is a way to describe it sometimes it can be that way with water signs. Glad to see I could help Hang in there  ------------------
ML
~~~~~~~~~~~
"In my end is my beginning"
Mary,Queen of Scots IP: Logged |
sue g
unregistered
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posted February 07, 2006 01:19 PM
A (Sagi) therapist said to me once......"the problem with you Sue is, you want it intense ALL the time" phew......imagine how draining that could be for the other person.....suppose I need three or four men to take the edge of me really,dont I...  xx IP: Logged |
Lindaland
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