posted February 08, 2006 04:59 AM              

Her moon is in Aries, directly opposite mine in Libra, while her Mercury in Gemini seems to clash with my Mercurry in Virgo. I ordered a personality conflicts reading from another site recently which suggests we often don't understand each other, which is true! I also think she doesn't listen to me a lot. She tells me that I am oversensitive, which I know is the case, but I seem to be much more so with her, if that makes any sense! My sun is in semi-square aspect to her Pluto, which suggests a power struggle with her trying to dominate me, and I think there was a heavy Saturn aspect in there somewhere as well, can't remember if it was me or her in the Saturn role.

posted February 08, 2006 10:21 AM              

You asked:

quote:

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...her Mercury in Gemini seems to clash with my Mercurry in Virgo...She tells me that I am oversensitive, which I know is the case, but I seem to be much more so with her...For a long time I wanted to try and improve communication between us, but now I wonder if it's even possible?...Should I just give up and look for someone else for a more relaxed relationship with fewer rows?

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Mercury, as you probably know, is the planet of communication. Her Gemini (thinking, also talking) is square (energy needs to be combined with) your Virgo (daily work, also analysis) by sign position. This square will be more intense if it is also a square by aspect. But, whether it is squared by sign or by aspect, there is a basic difference between you: she tends to talk for the pleasure of talking, while you tend to talk in order to analyze things.

So she says some comment and you instantly want to analyze it for "what it really means" (this Virgo tendency to analysis is because Virgo has to do with routine, so Virgo communication tends to think of things over and over again (analysis) ). The challenge is for her to make sure she is saying something that conveys a meaning...or to make it VERY clear when she is only "chatting", and for you to accept that sometimes she will have a need to "chat" and that you shouldn't analyze her words at those times.

Also, remember that Mercury rules BOTH Gemini and Virgo, so they naturally can work VERY well together...if both people decide to work on their communication issues and understand the communcation issues of the OTHER person. A square aspect between two people is very intense, and it also creates a natural "urge to merge" with the other person. However, our tendency in these situations can be to want to protect our "individuality" and this is where the problems come in.

Whether or not you proceed with this relationship or not also remember that it is not about her being "difficult"...it is about the both of you expressing who you are and having the challenge of working out your differences. And THAT is what relationships are all about.

Relating,

Tim

posted February 08, 2006 12:59 PM              

I'm not sure about the analysis thing. I only analyse events after they happen, which is perhaps where she and I have a nightmare as she tends to just say the first thing that comes into her head, even when talking about our relationship.. and also to be impatient and cut me off in conversation. She is domineering and controlling at times (have a ton of examples to list). What I also find is that if we are talking about something that she is not personally connected to then she goes very quiet while if it is something she feels passionate about she is up and in my face and there is no getting a word in edgeways, I mean really in my face!

The thing is my my best friend has the same Mercury placing as her but we never argue, so I would say this was more of a single aspect and that it is other aspects like the moon opposition or pluto that are causing the friction and/or personality clash. Still I'm no astrology expert.

Your statement about needing to retain our individuality I think hit the nail on the head, as she and I are both pretty independent, but I think this is because of her trying to dominate me, or perhaps we both feel we are trying to dominate each other..? (woah getting too deep!!)

I don't buy the idea that relationships have to be a continuous battle of wills. I hate conflict and would much rather it were easier all round. I tried to talk around how to work out our differences with her many times but they're such major issues, I always ended up provoking emotional outbursts however subtly I tried to do this. I think I already know she isn't the right person for me long-term but guess I'm just looking for some kind of astrological justification for why this is.

Cheers,

posted February 09, 2006 10:43 PM              

With the info you provided, I still don't see a problem. I'm reminded of how the Virgo & Aquarius energies can meld when I think of Virgo Sun & Mars Cameron Diaz with Aquarius Sun & Mars Justin Timberlake.