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Author Topic:   Me and My Aries Guy
lizkin33
Newflake

Posts: 0
From: New York
Registered: Oct 2010

posted February 27, 2006 02:16 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for lizkin33     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Anyone who read my " In Love and Lost"
My Aries guy called, and we talked. He said that he doesn't want to loose me and that he likes me a lot and I am always in his heart, however he is not ready to settle down yet(I mean marriage)maybe like in 2-3 years! and he says that he doesn't want a casual relationship. I don't know what's exacty means casual?
And he said that the more he sees me, the more he wants me and he gets use to me, so that's why he kept a distance from me. He doesn't want to hurt me. I really didn't exptected such a turn of things. I said: "So what am I suppose to do?", wait for you? I said so now we are going only talk on the phone? I am going to be 32yrs old and my crazy jewish family will not understand how can I a nice jewish girl sit and wait around? He says he understands, ect
I still care for him so much, God knows. I guess I am up for a challenge.
He doesn't want to hurt me by having casual relationship (guess it means casual sex) I am a bit confused though. Should I ask him if he is bi? I mean he said that there is a lot of things right now in his life that he can't think about settling down. what kind of things a 33 yrs guy has? A financial stability?! hobby(7 days a week cycling?!) Or his unsettled thought about his sexuality?
Can I ask him that straigh forward?
thanks

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Lynx
Newflake

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From:
Registered: Aug 2009

posted February 27, 2006 02:18 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Lynx     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Rape him.

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lizkin33
Newflake

Posts: 0
From: New York
Registered: Oct 2010

posted February 27, 2006 04:49 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for lizkin33     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
how smart!!!!!

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villy
unregistered
posted February 27, 2006 08:32 PM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Hey Liz, though there is a long way to go; good to know that something turn around for you.

And I really think that you should ask whatever doubts you got in your mind. Doubts are like pitfalls in a relationship and these need to always removed. A relationship to deepen requires such kind of frank, truthful converstations. Clear out all your doubts/thoughts by directly asking him. You want to marry him and these thoughts need to be clarified.

Regarding waiting more, get into a deep conversation on the reasons for waiting more. Also there are chances, depending on how a relationship deepens, he could change his mind of not waiting for such a long time (no guarantee though). However make sure that both of you are very objective as well as subjective on

Frankly you two haven't reached a state where your exchange of thoughts of free flowing, as you still don't know about his sexuality. Not sure to what extent your relation has progressed that such subjects needs to be discussed, however there has to be start somewhere.

By the way, HAPPY BIRTHDAY in advance; just in case I forget (I have lost all my skills to remember and keep track of birthdays )

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lizkin33
Newflake

Posts: 0
From: New York
Registered: Oct 2010

posted February 27, 2006 09:05 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for lizkin33     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Hey thanks Villy!
Well I asked him ato define me what is casual relationship for him, he answered that it's not it;s not about sex,because he probably thought that I was thinking about that. And also he said that I wouldn't able to tolerate this kind of relationship,simply becasuse I get emotionaly involved.(Pisces) and also he said that he is not ready to be emotionaly involved righ now.
regarding his sexuality I have not mentioned anything, there will be the right time I hope. Now, maybe he got hurt before and now he is so afraid to get emotionaly involved?
So, now what we are going to talk on the phone all the time. I kind of mentioned to him that it's ok, i can be your friend no strings attashed ,no feelings. But I do , i do have feelings

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villy
unregistered
posted February 27, 2006 09:34 PM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Hi Liz,

Well bit complicated, I guess. For me a casual relationship is something where there is no commitment, being friends. Some people may even have casual sexual relationship with no commitment and emotional strings attached. And very true that we Pisces being emotional would like to have a lifetime committed relationship.
It is good that atleast he doesn’t want to hurt you by giving commitment now and backing of later. However if he has all the commitment to marry to you after 2/3 years, then I am not sure why he can’t be involved emotionally right now. If he is not emotionally involved right now, what guarantee is there that, he would be involved emotionally with you, after waiting for 2/3 years.

Again give some time (few days/weeks – not months though) to yourself and him too, to understand where both of you want to take this relation to. Commitment can easily come if both the people have love for each other. I think currently he just likes you and not loves you. So always keep this in mind that you need to have a person who loves you. Liking can turn either way (dislike or love) or it can be just liking. However Love will always be love… the eternal love. (Hope I am not bringing the Piscean perfectionist goody thoughts out here, as real world is so different and not on same page as us Pisceans. For us everything is possible and for others practicality might come first).

V

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lizkin33
Newflake

Posts: 0
From: New York
Registered: Oct 2010

posted March 01, 2006 10:36 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for lizkin33     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
well, i don't think he will give a commitment after 2-3 years. He just said that he might settle lster in 2-3 years. I don't know what is he thinking right now and doing? probably dating as many girls without commitment, or looking for the "one"
I hope at least he'll call me on my birthday(march3)he actually mentioned something like: "What are you doing on your birthday"? I said: "I am not in the mood, bluh, bluh, i didn't find a job yet, i am PMSing, so nothing"! He says: "WE should go for sushi on your birthday"! I am like: "NO, I don't want anything"! What an idiot I am ! now I really want to go with him , what should I say to him?
Here what I have wrote to him yesterday, he has not yet answered to me.

Are we single because we're scared?

Why most of us have a fear of relationships and emotional attachment?! Is it because of a past relationship, or maybe it's because of a broken heart, or because we all in a serch of an ideal?

I don't know how or why I get drawn to emotionally unavailable men, but I do.
I do like being single and hate it. But then if I really wanted to remain this way then I shouldn't be fantasizing about being in a relationship and being in love, which I do quite a bit (but would never admit to). It's not the fact that you have a full life or standards that is the problem, but being at the point where you can really let yourself go with someone. If you don't give them all you got, how will you ever know if they were right for you or not? I guess there has to come a point sometime, where you let someone in your heart for real. That's pretty scary.....I've run from that, for a very long time. It took good 5 years to allow anyone to get close.
It's also kinda fear keeping me single, but it's more like skepticism. Most people are intrinsically good, but their souls are covered by layers upon layers of twisted beliefs, dogmas, etc. that would distort them from seeing what kind of person I am in my core. And because of that, it makes me fear that rejection is inevitable. And while I understand that in such a situation it probably isn't my fault so much as the fault of the relationship, I don't want to be wounded by someone I may love.
Who on earth said that all of us have to settle down? It's a simply a myth and nothing else. Just for the record, in the near future there is No waiting question, if I am planing to settle down? I am taking my time.
I think we should give some time to ourselfs to understand where both of us want to take this relation to. Because for what is going on right now between you and me, and I am going to be frank with you, I think I am in for an tumultuous ride down the proverbial emotional rollercoaster. I understand that having me as a friend is nice, as much as having you as a friend and I undestand that you don't want to loose me as much as I don't want to loose you, but I don't want to be always on the back burner.

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lizkin33
Newflake

Posts: 0
From: New York
Registered: Oct 2010

posted March 01, 2006 10:45 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for lizkin33     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Do you think I have scared him with my marriage talks, and how old i am getting etc. He said that I will not be able to handle FWB deal. He will actually won't hurt me this way, and he will not respect me or himself for that matter, and I will not have respect for him if he'll do it to me. so, even casual relationship that he mentioned(including sex, going out, hang out)this all will make him want me more and get use to me, and he afraids of that. Ha? so, now what only phone talks? Thats crazy, I am going crazy! But I do want to be intimate with him, kiss me, love him. WHY IS IT WHEN TWO PEOPLE LIKE EACH OTHER A LOT BUT THEY CAN'T BE TOGETHER? WHY LIFE IS SO NOT FARE?

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lizkin33
Newflake

Posts: 0
From: New York
Registered: Oct 2010

posted March 01, 2006 06:41 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for lizkin33     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
HEre what my Aries wrote back to me!

Liz, I'm going to be very blunt, frank, strait forward --- you need to get a job! so that you have less time to get emotional... how's that going? the job search?


just like I said to you earlier, i m not ready.., i don't want to... I'm not interested in "that"..., my mind is not there right now... sometimes a cigarette is just a cigarette, if you have heard this one before!


leave it alone...


let it go and don't spoil it again....


time will show if it's meant to be. All the other emails you have sent, about waiting for the right time and person, destination, true love and etc... stop questioning the faith too much, you are not in the position to do so, no one is... God is the only one, leave it up to him, and make best out of it. But most off all, if you don't want to drive people crazy, get busy! Get busy helping others instead off concentrating on yourself. Instead of perfecting yourself thru yourself, you will se that the world will help you to prefect yourself from the outside... You're a human and you meant to be part of the outer world just as much as the inner. Try to reach out to others .. and not only thru gifts or trying to "dictate" them your believes and ideas, but also by simply trying to understand them and giving them room in your life and mind the way the would like it to be part of it... otherwise you will force people to run away and keep a distance... this is my truly, friendly advice.... life can't just evolve around you only, be part of it and don't isolate by believes that have been written by some other self-centered people... People suck!, but what makes you a better person is not that you try to isolate them from your life or let them know who much they suck, but simply giving them a chance to be part of your world and let them learn at their pace, even if is at the cost of lifetime... You have a good sole, but let others to find it out...


hope you understand...

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lizkin33
Newflake

Posts: 0
From: New York
Registered: Oct 2010

posted July 24, 2008 01:43 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for lizkin33     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
villy

how are you..? it's been a while!

What's is gong one with your life

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Kay Libra
unregistered
posted July 24, 2008 02:10 PM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Hi - this post grabbed my attention because I'm seeing an Aries guy right now. And some of the things that your guy had stated is similar to the guy I was seeing. I can tell you it's been a push and pull thing. He has also told me he doesn't want to hurt me and that he would marry me, but is being pulled in many directions.
Can I ask whatever happened with that situation?

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lizkin33
Newflake

Posts: 0
From: New York
Registered: Oct 2010

posted July 24, 2008 02:28 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for lizkin33     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
At least he said to you that he will he marry you..good for you..

With us..? well we still keeping in touch, and I don't have a definition of what kind of friendship it is honestly..He is rarely calling me, although answers on my e-mails, we are chatting online sometimes..we don't see eachother for a while, last time he came to my birthday it was MArch 3rd..i saw him on Monday this week, he was passing by my work and i was outside..just chatted a little. And now I am going crazy again..I thought I moved on, and my feelings for him are nothng but some infatuation, but no,,it's more serious than I thought..He is dating other women, for him to be in an emotional commitment is ok, but he will not commit to a life time..I said I don't love you annymore, he said It's about time..
BUt I still keep in touch with him I didn't want to burn bridges..
Don't know what is going to happen.. I still in love with him, with who he is inside..his real self
well I guess time will show, i have to keep a little emotional distance from him..

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Lara
unregistered
posted July 24, 2008 02:50 PM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
ROFLMAO Lynx!

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lizkin33
Newflake

Posts: 0
From: New York
Registered: Oct 2010

posted July 24, 2008 06:23 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for lizkin33     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
ha ??

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lizkin33
Newflake

Posts: 0
From: New York
Registered: Oct 2010

posted July 26, 2008 11:49 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for lizkin33     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
can anyone suggest me if I don't know exactly the birth time for someone ,I know only approximate 9;30 am, 10 am, or 11am. I know..it's weird.
So what can I do in this situation..? I want to compare our charts to see if we have potential..

thanks

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