posted March 20, 2006 08:47 AM              

Does that translate "Lets be friends with benefits"?

please chip in your opinions.

posted March 20, 2006 09:20 AM              

But, like I said, that's just my opinion, not astro-fact.

posted March 20, 2006 10:05 AM              

I'm Female Sag who has just started dating a male Sag myself.

He has been having problems for months with a girl who he initially slept with, but never gave any indication there would be anything more to it than that. She is constantly bombarding him with texts and phone calls so he eventually said to her he would be friends but nothing else (he's too nice to just tell her to eff off). He was very clear about it. However, she's still not getting it. As soon as she had an incling that he had started seeing someone, his phone started going crazy. She actually caused the last girl he was seeing to split up with him because of it.

Anyway, based on that, I would say just be his friend (if thats what you want) and give him space, don't chase after him. He may just want to get to know you first.
Or, if he is one of the most honest saggies then could be he's already decided it wouldn't work out as anything else and therefore to let you down gently asked if you could just be friends. It's a tricky one.

Me personally, if I said to a guy I just want to be friends it would be just exactly what I meant.

As grotto chick says though, I like to be bezzie mates with my man too. But can also be mates with men as long as there is no sexual attraction there. The fact that he slept with you points to there being some kind of attraction! If so, it's not possible to be just friends.

Maybe you should just come out and ask him why he slept with you if all he wanted was to be friends. He can't wriggle out a question as straight forward as that.

Hope this helps and I haven't made it even more confusing for you.

posted March 20, 2006 11:00 AM            

Saggie female here- I HAVE to be friends with my lover. BUT if I say I want to be friends then that is what I mean...if I like you more then I tell you that. However, I do get confused between love and friendship.

But, he did sleep with you so there is an attraction of sorts.

posted March 20, 2006 11:47 AM            

I have dated a couple of guys where I could only see them as friends, if that. On one occassion I did sleep with one and he thought it meant more. I was VERY honest and open about NOT wanting anything but friendship (but I don't even really go for the friendships with benefits... too stressful on me and there are too many emotions associated with it).

I can tell you this though. If I am into a guy and we start down that romantic path and we end up in bed, if they have a lackluster performance or get too clingy then I won't sleep with them again. I will actually move the relationship down a few notches to only friends.

That may sound cold, but for most fire signs, sexual compatibility is very important. It is how we show our affections in most cases - emotional is tied to physical and if the spark isn't there - well, there is no use going on with it.

posted March 21, 2006 05:03 PM            

May I ask you... what do you think friendship means? If you were with your best girl or boyfriend, would you think it was funny for them to drop things to help you, walk with you when you were bored..etc?

Maybe the long looks are odd, but I have had a few female friends / coworkers look at me admiringly - not in a sexual way - but in a way that they respect what I do.

Saggies tend to look past the gender of a person and instead look into their hearts / souls. That is how we make friends - we enjoy the company of fun / happy people. Most of my friends are male and it's mostly because we have so much in common - sports, politics, bars...etc....

I have a diverse group of friends that vary from nationality, sexual orientation and gender. Somehow it works, hell my boyfriend is a Leo former airborne / paratrooper that now flies UAV's for the Army but he still comes to our potlucks that are mostly frequented by my mixed group of friends. He is open and understanding about it and knows that I am very outgoing.

Some people don't understand that about us and when we don't change, meaning when we don't stop being the outgoing person we were when we met them, they get possessive or angry.

If you have any questions, just ask your Sag (not in your case Villy- that would make a VERY uncomfortable work situation).

posted March 21, 2006 11:05 PM              

Its not funny whatever you are saying about friendship is very much correct.
It is just that I am perceiving something extra. Not sure why. It’s just based on unconscious signals/thoughts that I got during our interactions, which made me feel that there could be a little more attraction (affection). Yepp a best friend would always treat the other person better as compared to other normal friends.

Also it would depend on the environment in which one is brought up. I have never been social to have lots of girlfriends (for that matter even few ). So this could be another reason.

Also it might be just a "feeling" that I got (or maybe mind game) out of my interactions, that made me think of more than a normal friend. Many times when a friend becomes a best friend or someone special, the friendship could easily turn into love (atleast for me, if one speak of opposites). If you feel that kind of special pull, it becomes difficult (maybe due to my Pisces Sun - emotional/going with flow) to remove such thoughts (these could be even Piscean romantic dreams) from ones mind. I guess it might go for all water signs (Air and Fire ones would be definitely be different).

Luckily for last few weeks I have been far away so hopefully my attraction and thoughts die out even if I need to near her.

Anyways, I am just throwing my philosophical (if at all someone thinks so ) thoughts out, so nothing specific to Sagis

posted March 22, 2006 03:05 AM              

Pid, ofcourse a best friend will do all that. In fact my best boyfriend will say "I love you" every now and then. He'll playfully ask me to give him one chance after my every heart-break
He'll fly to meet me if I am down in the dump etc. But if he thinks I am falling in love with him and if all he wanted is just a friendship, he would tell it frankly the first time I hint something romantic. He would not wait for 1 year and for a point blank email.

If you have any questions, just ask your Sag

I dont want to open the can of worms. Besides he hates questions (virgo moon/asc). If he just wanted friendship that he will get minus the intimacy I share with my other friends.

posted March 23, 2006 07:30 AM              

Most times I am looking to explore a girls mind to see if I am attracted to them.I have also noticed that I am mostly attracted to females that seem "unavailable" or something.

I guess the reason he wants you to be friends is that he can be free to seduce you anytime when he feels like he can be with you,or that he can be free to go out with somebody else while still knowing you.

I cant explain the Saggies need to put eggs in diffrent baskets.I personally am so afraid of becoming possessive,ugly,demanding to a woman because my emotions tend to be quite intense and so I gamble a lot when it comes to love and intellectualize feelings in order to minimize heartache or the humiliation of pining for someone whose affections are invested elsewhere.

posted March 23, 2006 05:22 PM              

"I'm a male sadge...when I say those words I'm either trying to protect myself from further harm, I actually want to build a friendship with this person, or I want to kick them out of my life but this is a round about way of doing it. It depends on the situation. Usually if I say that it means I don't want the relationship to be sexual any more."

posted March 23, 2006 11:02 PM              

If the gal/guy sends you a text message saying "missing your kisses". How will you react?
Will you be upfront and tell her you dont mean to be that way anymore? Or will you keep silent planting hopes in the girl/guy's heart?

posted March 24, 2006 08:11 AM              

I kind of understand your confusion, as I mentioned in earlier post, I've just started seeing a Saggie man. I am falling completely head over heals with him (which isn't like me) but not entirely sure how he feels about me. Don't know if he is just playing it cool and hasn't made his mind up about me yet as he really doesn't give much away.