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Author
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Topic: Question for the men- Is this true???
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BerrySweet
unregistered
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posted May 30, 2006 09:21 AM
 
I'm reading this advice for women, and it says that when it comes to sex, you should not be good in bed, or he will assume you get around.
(sounds logical)Then it continues that you should not wear lingerie for him, that when a man sees you in lingerie he only wonders who you first wore it for, and how many other men might have already seen you in it.
(could be possible I guess) It suggests that you can ONLY wear lingerie if 1) He was there when you first bought it, or 2) If he bought it for you himself. Otherwise, he will assume you wore it for another man, even if you didn't.
(I suppose it might be true) It insists men are fragile, and cannot deal with the thought you have ever been with another man before them. Now here's the one I thought was over the top: It says, that if you have a pair of knickers with a tear, or a bra with a bent or missing hook, he will not think it has been through the wash too many times....he will see it as proof of recent sexual activity! His imagination will run wild, and he will suspect that another man has violently ripped your underwear off your body!
(Oh come on!) In a new relationship, so it says, men are always looking for "evidence" of how many other men you may have been with. They see torn underpants as a "smoking gun" that you have been around. Men...is this true? If you're dating a woman, and see a button or bow thats torn off a nighty, do you wonder if another man has torn it off in a fit of passion? (I think this is crazy. I have never had my knickers or bra torn off during sex. Who really does that?)
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double trouble gemini
unregistered
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posted May 30, 2006 09:53 AM
hi berrysweet,i like to share a similar experience with you abt one of my friend who is married to such a man.
he is a nice scorpio guy, he wasnt like that before marriage but he became doubtful and extremely possessive/jealous in nature after they got married,he would accuse her of sleeping with another man while he was at work...just because she changed the bedsheets or she was wearing a pretty dress or even if she was wearing her perfume at home! he would note all these minor details that you have mentioned in ur post and stir up a whirlpool of doubts.
once he found his own shirt button on the bedroom floor and couldnt sleep imagining all sorts of things untill she finally found the shirt that was missing that button!
Thank God all men are not the same!(sweetberry ur giving men a lot to think abt here  ) IP: Logged |
Lauren
unregistered
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posted May 30, 2006 09:54 AM
LOL ..no wait double LOL.. I can't even type, I'm laughing. I think I forgot what I was gona say. I'll get back later. (doublegem, i meant the initial post..didn't see yours) IP: Logged |
BerrySweet
unregistered
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posted May 30, 2006 10:00 AM
I'm waiting for the mens reply. I just have to know if any of this is for real.Men- Sometimes women really do by pretty lingerie just for themselves! Also- If I am getting involved with a man, I might buy some several months in advance, in anticipation of the "big night." When I come prancing out of the bathroom, it's brand new. (The advice says he should SEE you take it out of the bag, with the price tags still attached!!!) double trouble gemini- OMG! Then it's true then! Her husband found a button on the floor and was tormented with images of her ripping another mans shirt off in a fit of lust! IP: Logged |
geminstone
unregistered
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posted May 30, 2006 10:19 AM
... oh my...hahaha.. it doesn't, by chance, give some decent advice along the lines of maybe giving a go at a sleep-over, a very long, hard...  ..second thought?! That is just,...so.. gaw, primitive!..? Seriously, what or where, are you getting this 'advice' from? I'm not a man and, actually, none of this could even be applied in my own relationship.. not that it would anyway... but, how insecure and double standard... and, well basically, crap! What, so a woman is allowed no history? Imagine if she had a child!!  Guess that wouldn't be a workable situation as, dudes damn head would probably explode!! 
I have to say that not one bit of it is logical!
Rediculous and that's all!.... Well, all I'll say since this was addressed to the guys.....~ geminstone IP: Logged |
paras
unregistered
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posted May 30, 2006 10:19 AM
I see two possibilities here:1) The "advice" you're reading was written by a man-hating lesbian feminist. 2) The "advice" you're reading was written by a very warped man -- someone who is as "fragile" and overly suspicious as he describes men in general. Obviously someone with major trust/insecurity/low self-esteem issues. Either way, whatever you're reading can serve only one purpose in your life: trash can filler! IP: Logged |
Swerve
unregistered
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posted May 30, 2006 10:20 AM
Hi Berry,The lingerie thing I get. I had an ex who bought herself these gorgeous pink knickers with embroidery and all sorts. She told me in no uncertain terms they were for herself.
So now I'm clued up on that. Women like to feel pretty and attractive. Thats why players can manipulate them on these things so easily and women can hunt for attention sometimes. But, guys like to feel good about themselves as well, there's nothing wrong with it. Besides when you feel confident you look better. Not that that would mean you might be surveying your options subconsciously or anything...lol. I would say that men's ego's ARE fragile, and yes we can all act like assholes from time to time. Believe me I CRINGE at some of the things I have said or done in the past out of jealousy. Also, all men want their Princess to be chaste and beyond reproach, and every guy wants to be the best lover she ever had. The more partners the less likely this is. Yep, ego again. Thing is, men have had to have big ego's to perform in the roles nature provided for them up to now. Withouth them, women wouldn't be around to question them as the species should have died out a long time ago. Perhaps men should question women's sensitivity in today's world where the power is shared equally? Do you really need so much emotional coddling and relationship double-standards that is accepted with a sigh and "women...." But see, here's the thing, we aren't always wrong, and women never tell you that there's a problem until the problem is usually of a monumental size. They tell white lies all the time to protect your ego and feelings and their "freedom" to exercise, shall we say, the right of "choice". To just label men as weak for this is very short-sighted. Though, there are a lot of freaks out there! (had to add this bit on reading back for balance). But, worthy of mentioning like this because getting the balance of protective instinct and jealous insanity is almost bloody impossible, especialy when honesty isn't always a part of the mix. *DISCLAIMER* - post mostly tongue-in-cheek, not ego invloved...honest..... Swerve
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BerrySweet
unregistered
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posted May 30, 2006 10:36 AM
Okay, but neither of you answered the question. When you see her in lingerie, or if you see her lingerie has a rip or tear, does your mind start playing with images of her rolling about on the floor with another man??? Because Swerve, it sounds like you basically just answered "yes" in a roundabout way. IP: Logged |
Swerve
unregistered
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posted May 30, 2006 10:37 AM
It would depend on whether you trust her or not.Simple as that. Complicated as that. I wouldn't say there was a generic answer. I am triple water with Scorpio in the big 2, I analyse everything. I know guys who wouldn't care less. I wold be honest enough to say it comes down to insecurity IF it's in error. I'm not being as helpful as you wanted am I? I AM an elusive Pisces you know. Can't help it. The round-about way is saying that its a bigger picture thing, rather than just questioning men's egos. I am quite defensive of women having ago at men, it seems to be a trend these days. Swerve IP: Logged |
BerrySweet
unregistered
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posted May 30, 2006 10:43 AM
 I am so shocked I could just about pass out. When I read that article I was certain it was b*llocks. This has been a real eye-opener. IP: Logged |
Swerve
unregistered
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posted May 30, 2006 10:45 AM
Berry - you can't take it all on MY word babe! I might be opinionated but I hardly represent the entire male species.Oh, and just for clarification, the tear thing, no, I would just think she was cheap on that one. I realise by reading back that that was the thing you were most shocked about, so I may have dug a hole for myself here by elaborating unnessecarily. If she had a broken hinge or something like that, no, I wouldn't think she had been flung around a room, that IS ridiculous. Let a few of the other boys here comment first. My comments are mostly tongue-in-cheek and I'm sure other men wouldn't feel this way, or could convince you that their ego's are much stronger than that. I'm sure they could...... I am going to put my spade down now and stop digging.  Swerve IP: Logged |
BerrySweet
unregistered
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posted May 30, 2006 11:00 AM
I find all of it equally shocking, because as a woman I would never have imagined men were so observant, keeping an eye peeled for such evidence of sexual activity.I always thought if a man was suspicious, it was proof that he was sneaking around, and projecting his own guilt onto you. IP: Logged |
Swerve
unregistered
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posted May 30, 2006 11:03 AM
Oh no, I would say that men are much more observant than you think. You have to understand the amount of thinking and reading women that goes into getting you in the first place.Christ, if you can't do that you'll be a lonely man. And then keeping you after that requires a hell of a lot of attention to detail. You underestimate the effort required I think. Especially these days when women quite rightly demand more and a more "clued up" man. Men just don't verbalise a lot of it, or do it and dismiss it as just keeping a woman happy, so not mentioning it. Swerve IP: Logged |
Ohad
unregistered
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posted May 30, 2006 11:03 AM
WAIT a minute, you want to tell me someone actually wrote an article advicing women to be bad at sex and no to wear lingerie so they could KEEP a man?
It would have been funny if it were'nt for the fact that some women take this sh*te seriously-the person who wrote this needs to be imprisoned(i'm a Scorpio with Libra rising-I take the matters of sex and lingerie very seriously... ).
Swerve-I'd say women's egos are as vulnerable as men's-just on different subjects-with mens it's about power/status/strength, and with womens it's about beauty(you mentioned it yourself), and men often say what women like to hear as well(the "do I look fat in this dress" routine).
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"I would sooner fail than not be among the greatest."
John Keats
"He sees no faces/The ace of aces"
Iced Earth IP: Logged |
Swerve
unregistered
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posted May 30, 2006 11:06 AM
Thanks for the save there Ohad, I was floundering like a new born puppy at sea.Less is more sometimes... Swerve IP: Logged |
steelrose
Knowflake Posts: 108
From: Spain
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted May 30, 2006 11:08 AM
My ex used to love my lingerie. I wouldn’t have dared to wear anything ripped, not because of his jealousy but for his snobbish attitude… It wasn’t classy for his girl to wear torn things… (I confess I wouldn’t wear anything torn for him either, I loved to see his fascination pictured on his face…)He was a triple scorp, and jealousy wasn’t out of his dictionary… But he was never jealous of me. It never crossed his mind that I could be unfaithful. He knew I was passionate about lingerie. He knew I wore it in a regular basis, just for myself. He just knew I wasn’t the kind. I’m not a wild girl. He knew how difficult is getting me because he had to endure it. And he knew I respected him and loved him. It’s a question of what a man believe you are. If you want to be treated as a princess, start with behaving like one. With or without lingerie.
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BerrySweet
unregistered
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posted May 30, 2006 11:15 AM
Ohad- Again, you didn't answer the question. How many relationships with women have you had? You are in Israel, so I have to ask do they allow dating in your culture? Perhaps men there don't have to worry about these things, with the relations between men and women being so supervised. Do Israeli women even own lingerie for the men to inspect? Is it even legal there? I can't imagine Victoria Secrets and KnickerBox having a middle-eastern outlet. Wouldn't there be protests from the religious zealots? IP: Logged |
Swerve
unregistered
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posted May 30, 2006 11:23 AM
Hmm.... that was either terrible humour or something much nastier.Muslim women wear veils, Israeli women are mostly Jewish (a slight assumption, but you get my drift). Feigned ignorance I hope. Swerve IP: Logged |
BerrySweet
unregistered
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posted May 30, 2006 11:30 AM
Swerve,Oh no, I've known several Jewish Israelis, and they are every bit as religious fundamentalist about things. They have arranged marriages, rules about how women can dress, rules about their hair, rules about certian foods, they don't dare drive or cook after Friday sundown. They are not like westernized Jews. They take it quite serious. If Ohad dates, I would imagine it would be a very restricted kind of date, well supervised. The Israelies I knew weren't allowed to be in a room alone with a woman. IP: Logged |
Swerve
unregistered
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posted May 30, 2006 11:38 AM
I'm not completely uninformed on Israel.Your last post seemed VERY angry and personal to Ohad which was a shock. Especially as I myself had been wide open to abuse for floundering about with defensive opinions and you missed the oppportunity. I am no-one to preach on anyone else's behalf though so I digress. Swerve IP: Logged |
lioneye68
unregistered
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posted May 30, 2006 11:44 AM
Hee hee HAW HAW HAW!!!!I know this is true. You men just don't want to pony up because you know we'll rip you to peices over it. You gals who wear, or have worn tighter jeans, you know how sometimes your nickers will get a snag in the front from getting caught in the zipper? My Virgo thinks those snags are caused by me "rubbing" down there too much - and wonders who I'm thinking of when I'm doing that!! It's so ridiculous I can't even defend myself. I just laugh. IP: Logged |
BerrySweet
unregistered
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posted May 30, 2006 11:45 AM
Swerve - you misread me. I was not angry, I was not joking, I am absolulty serious. The Israelies I knew were horrified about McDonalds because they served "a kid cooked in its mothers milk" (cheese burgers) I can't imagine what they'd think of a naughty knicker store! They'd probably fall over and die. IP: Logged |
Betelgeuse
Knowflake Posts: 33
From: England
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted May 30, 2006 11:51 AM
Its been a long time since I saw a woman intimately in her lingerie, so I have forgotten what it looks like. I dont care if the woman wears anything that is torn, unhinged, in shreds, or ripped to pieces from nights of past passions, it would just be nice to see it again... one day... IP: Logged |
Swerve
unregistered
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posted May 30, 2006 11:52 AM
Anger doesn't always have to be overt. Just didn't seem relevant.....However, we could go round and round in circles here. Lioneye - shush.... Swerve IP: Logged |
Dulce Luna
Newflake Posts: 7
From: The Asylum, NC
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted May 30, 2006 11:53 AM
Ok, so the guy is allowed a sexual history but the woman isn't. Can we say double standards.In my opinion, whatever I did before him is none of his business anyways because its not like he was saintly before either. And even if he was he can take me or leave me, IDC. IP: Logged | |
Lindaland
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