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Author Topic:   new clue what I am going to do, need help badly
carlfloydfan
unregistered
posted June 10, 2006 10:25 AM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
one more hour..and she is gone...my insides are slowly dying inside..my heart is tearing apart..I am afraid of hurting myself with booze. I am going to miss her desperatly. she will be 7000 miles away. i am just asking you kind folks to give some advice to this wounded scorpio. I havent even cried in front of her yet..I cant, its all inside.

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wilsontc
unregistered
posted June 10, 2006 12:08 PM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
fan,

Since you have many unaspected and least aspected (strong energy) planets you do not "connect in" with a lot of your energy. As a result, you can become dependent on other people or events to help you "connect in" with this energy. The challenge is that when this outer energy changes it causes direct, intense changes in your own energy.

Since you have Scorpio (transformation, also control) modifying Saturn (duty, also structure) focused in the 10th house (duty, also structure) conjunct Midheaven (outer world), it is important to control the energy you CAN control. And you CAN control how you structure outer world events. In simpler words you can control how you RESPOND to these events.

While it is normal to be sad and unhappy when people leave, but going on some sort of over-reactive "bender" is NOT going to help the situation. Instead, the challenge is to get control, and structure the event as much as you can. If you are still going out with this person maybe you could email them or write them a letter. Make plans for you to visit them or them to visit you in some distant future. If you are NOT still going out with this person, then it is over and it is best to move on with your life.

Another thing is, with your North node (future goals) focused in the 4th house (home, also emotions), you LIKE your home, so doing anything that negatively affects your home environment, no matter how much you feel like doing it now, could be something you regret later.

I know this is cold, controlled advice, but, with the energies "floating around" in your chart it may be helpful to have a controlled, structured approach so you don't over-react and do something you will regret later after you have calmed down.


Trying to help,

Tim

------------------
For information on basic astrological chart interpretation see: http://www.geocities.com/wilsontctc

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carlfloydfan
unregistered
posted June 10, 2006 01:00 PM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
thank you for the advice. I work to be more independent every day, it is hard. aries moon, sag venus/mercury will help

anyways, it was a light hearted goodbye. we laughed till the end. our last 24 hours were filled with flirting, to the point where she forgot she was going back to france for a while.

we are going to work on things. what we have experiened is to good to just give up on. we will fight for it! funny thing is, she has had 3 horrible boyfriends in france...whenever she wanted a boy friend, she got someone who mistreated her, even though she has amazing parents and a good understanding of what a man should be. I guess she needed those experiences to find out what she really needed/wanted. she came to america NOT wanting a boyfriend..to make a concious effort not to meet a boy. and she made it a long ways..and than met me...it was beyond her control I suppose. but i told her I found it funny that when she wanted one, she got junk and when she didn't want one, she got someone that she truly feels for, someone that has changed her life and a life for her to change.

I told her to not critize herself when she is being optomistic. she told me to make sure that I place realistic restrictions on myself if my head is ever to far in the clouds. we parted telling each other we love each other.

this experience has been perfect she told me, like a story. I can't agree more, we got along soooo well...we understood each other...we loved each other not just for our strengths, but for our weakness too...we were able to compliment each other, like the aformentioned *head in the clouds/well grounded duo we made...next step is to live off campus (independent) which is what I want, than save money like a mature man (capricorn rising/mars/jupiter) and travel to see her.

like I told her, worst case scenario, we are very good friends who will travel and see some of the world, like she has done with her good friend annie.

I can deal with this. I know I can.

again, thanks for the help

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carlfloydfan
unregistered
posted June 10, 2006 01:08 PM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
oh and she made me promise not to drink. I told her I use it as an escape to dull the pain. I must say, I will not. I have a 6 pack of ale and half a bottle of whiskey in the fridge...i haven't touched anything in a week and hope to double that at least...and go from there.

my day will consist of mario/music and seeing my friend, who was also very close with my gf...and likely no sleep tonight.

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Lialei
unregistered
posted June 10, 2006 10:59 PM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Beautiful, transcending, so romantic and heartbreaking

You truly touched each other's hearts and souls it seems. For the better. I hope you can keep that better with you.

Keep on writing if it helps, Carl.
Surely there's lots of warm hearts here to help you through.


~Do not be dismayed at good-byes. A good-bye is necessary before meeting again and meeting again after moments or lifetimes is certain for those who are friends.
~Richard Bach


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writesomething
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posted June 10, 2006 11:33 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for writesomething     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
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carlfloydfan
unregistered
posted June 11, 2006 10:52 AM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
thank you for the support guys! I appreciate it so much!

Just hours after she left I called a travel agent asking about plane tickets. For dec. 26 to jan. 15 they gave me a price of $414!! It is STA which helps students very much. That is an amazing deal! My aries moon kicked in and effected my passionate scorpio sun and I purchased the ticket right there!

My capricorn rising, like usual, took a few hours to wake up, and wondered if, as exciting as this was, it was logical, considering money and the need to pay for my room and college next semester.

But I got an email from her today and she seems excited, so this was the logical thing to do, no matter what the money situation is. You can not beat 414...I just wish I had more $ to do something more. I just need $100 more for my passport and I am all set . Got till december to get that. But the ticket purchase helped me, even though it cuts my savings in half basically.

One thing that also helped was an email from a libra freshman friend of mine, thanking me, "Through out the year you have managed to help me more than you can imagine" and other such things. I never expected that, but it makes me so happy because I did want to help. But it was a bright spot in an otherwise, very tough day.

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