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Author
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Topic: 9th step amends
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aquaspryt69
unregistered
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posted June 18, 2006 12:31 PM
 
Hello to all again. I haven't been here in ages and the last time I was here I didn't exactly have the best attitude towards certain members. To them I'd like to apologize. To keep my story brief--I'm an alcoholic with 13 months sobriety. I don't know where Saturn was on May 22, 2006 but I hit bottom. I lost my job that I'd been in for 11 yrs (home health and massage therapist), I lost my car and license, assaulted an officer and thus became a felon and was placed on supervised probation for 18 months. I finished in 9 months (9 being my number) and am not a felon any longer.
As part of my sobriety I am working my 9th step...making amends...I do sincerely apologize to those whom I offended with my nasty attitude and hope to have a fresh start here. I'm grateful for the opportunity to apologize.
I look forward to hearing from you all no matter what your responses may be.Aquaspryt69 IP: Logged |
astro junkie
unregistered
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posted June 19, 2006 10:32 PM
Thanks for remembering us. Hope to see you around.IP: Logged |
Kim Rogers
unregistered
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posted June 20, 2006 01:50 AM
Kudos A69,I know how tough the ninth step can be, so I want to congratulate you on your recovery.  IP: Logged |
teaselbaby
Newflake Posts: 0
From: Ohio
Registered: Jul 2009
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posted June 20, 2006 01:57 AM
I don't think we ever exchanged posts, but I remember you aquaspryt.  I'm sorry to hear of all you've been through, and wish you the best.  IP: Logged |
BlueRoamer
Knowflake Posts: 95
From:
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted June 20, 2006 02:03 AM
If you're an aqua most likely saturn opposition sun.....IP: Logged |
aquaspryt69
unregistered
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posted June 20, 2006 09:56 AM
AJ, Kim, Teasel & Blue, Although I may have wanted to forget my past, sobriety has a way of sticking it right in your face whether you want it or not. Don't be sorry--BE HAPPY! I am!! If I had known how great things would turn out just from assaulting an officer (twice) I would have done it sooner! LOL jk
Seriously, it's been one of the best things to have ever happened to me and it was by God's grace that I didn't wind up in jail. I'm free. Free to make better choices for myself, which strangely enough, allows me to make better choices for the greater good of all I come into contact with.
All I really lost was material things...my license, my computer, my job. So, I don't have to pay these outrageous gas prices, insureance and repairs hehehe. I bicycle and bus to my destinations. I worked out in 116 degrees last summer for day labor ($5.25 hr!!) I got hired by the CEO and have been working IN the office of the day labor now..guess he saw something in me. Ironically he has 35 yrs sobriety!! So guess where I met him?! lol
I'm sure you all remember me, lol, i've been told I make quite an impression. ahem!
No, Blue, I picked this name back in 1989...long before I ever entered an astrology chat room/message board. I'm a double scorp: scorp asc, sun, merc, ven, nept, pisces moon. I do have another screen name, maybe I should change it to that so as not to cause confusion? IP: Logged |
Taurus80
Newflake Posts: 10
From:
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted June 20, 2006 10:42 AM
nice to meet you aquaspryt69...i'm really happy your life has turned around!
welcome back!
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Gooberzlostlovefound
unregistered
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posted June 20, 2006 10:52 AM
I'm not sure if I remember you, but I totally respect and admire your courage to come on here and right any past wrongs...that takes guts, it really does.Looking forward to seeing you around LL... GLLF IP: Logged |
BlueRoamer
Knowflake Posts: 95
From:
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted June 20, 2006 01:31 PM
Aquas my older brother is a scorpio.....and also an alcoholic. He went through AA but I don't think it worked fully on him, the family thinks hes still secretly drinking. He doesn't seem like he really wants to quit and change his life. This is something that you wanted I imagine? Your courage is commendable, its a hard road.IP: Logged |
aquaspryt69
unregistered
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posted June 20, 2006 10:34 PM
Thanks everyone for all the positive feedback. It really means a lot. Blue, your brother obviously isn't ready to admit he has a "disease"/addiction, but AA isn't for everybody either. I would have NEVER went on my own accord. No way! I had to be court ordered...I truly believe it was my Higher Power intervening and saying to me "enough of this nonsense!"
I had to hit bottom, just like every recovering addict before me...even those with 30 and 40 yrs of sobriety remember the day or how they "hit bottom". It seems to be a vital part of recovery which, sadly, some people never seem to reach.
No, matter how much you plead, beg,or cry your brother may never be ready or able to see that he has a problem with alcohol. Most alcoholics are this way. All we can do is pray for them and be there when they do hit bottom so they know they are not alone in their addiction. There are many, many of us.
I know a lot of people whom AA didn't do a thing for them, but found that Al-Anon was the answer. I hope and pray that he finds peace from his addiction. IP: Logged |
BlueRoamer
Knowflake Posts: 95
From:
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted June 21, 2006 01:30 AM
Thanks for your kind wishes Aqua. I thought that he had hit bottom, but i'm not sure if it was low enough. Thanks IP: Logged |
aquaspryt69
unregistered
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posted June 21, 2006 09:17 PM
No problem. Dang! I wish I had emotes. IP: Logged |
Azalaksh
Knowflake Posts: 982
From: New Brighton, MN, USA
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted June 21, 2006 10:28 PM
"Emotes"?? You mean emoticons?? Here's the list of LL smilies: http://www.linda-goodman.com/ubb/smilies.html Congrats on your sobriety, aq!!  One day at a time, and it keeps getting better and better.....  I too am allergic to alcohol -- got 11 years behind me now  Zala Haven't picked up the Big Book for a few years now, I should probably reread it..... IP: Logged |
aquaspryt69
unregistered
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posted June 21, 2006 11:37 PM
Hi Az! 11 yrs? Cool, congrats!! As for emotes=emoticons, let's see if this works.......  IP: Logged |
aquaspryt69
unregistered
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posted June 21, 2006 11:40 PM
Woo hoo!!! I didn't think it would work with a Linspire system....no windows or internet explorer as of yet. Hopefully, by the 4th of July my Leo man will have it programmed for me. Thank you!!!!IP: Logged |
aquaspryt69
unregistered
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posted June 21, 2006 11:55 PM
You haven't read your big book? You still go to meetings? I know if I don't go to about 4 or 5 a week I begin to feel funny  IP: Logged |
Azalaksh
Knowflake Posts: 982
From: New Brighton, MN, USA
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted June 22, 2006 12:46 AM
aq ~I haven't RE-read my book for awhile now..... And I used to feel the same as you -- only I went to several meetings a DAY when I was newly sober..... I felt like if I didn't, that dark and slippery slope was going to yawn again and I would slip and fall down it..... but I don't feel that way anymore because I learned how to live without thinking about and wanting a drink. Perhaps you will come to feel as I, or perhaps you will continue to go to 4-5 meetings a week for the rest of your life, to share your experience, strength and hope. Different strokes I have a book to recommend: "The Cracker Factory" by Joyce Rebeta-Burditt. Out of print, but you can get it used for a couple dollars..... Take care ~
Zala IP: Logged |
MysticMelody
Moderator Posts: 1066
From:
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted June 22, 2006 02:15 AM
How about a new name with Phoenix in it?IP: Logged |
aquaspryt69
unregistered
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posted June 22, 2006 08:56 AM
Thanks,Zala, for the  suggestion, I know just the store to try and find it in. Who knows, maybe after 11 yrs I won't feel I need meetings either, but I've been seeing too many ppl with 17 yrs sober coming back after falling off the wagon and each one blames it on not attending meetings and doing their steps. I don't know....but it scares me, plus I've made some great friends in the program. I like making them laugh with my--I hit a cop and got a better life--statement.  It's great to meet another friend in the program, especially here in LL!!I'm curious, have you gotten your 11 yr chip?? I don't know about you, but I take chips very seriously. I went out of my way to get a chip for every single month up to my 1 yr. I have to go but I hope to see ya around the message board. It's suppose to be 112 today. UGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!! IP: Logged |
aquaspryt69
unregistered
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posted June 22, 2006 08:57 AM
Hey mystic, any suggestions??IP: Logged |
pidaua
Knowflake Posts: 67
From: Back in AZ with Bear the Leo
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted June 22, 2006 01:41 PM
Congratulations Aqua!!! I too think you should do something with Phoenix in the username. You truly rose from the ashes. Zala, Congrats to you as well. It takes a strong person to do what you and Aqua have accomplished IP: Logged |
Azalaksh
Knowflake Posts: 982
From: New Brighton, MN, USA
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted June 22, 2006 01:52 PM
Thanks, Pid aq ~ I haven't been to a meeting in years -- but that is MY path, not yours. I daresay you need them as much as water and oxygen at this stage of your recovery. I collected chips for awhile, but once I got back on track, recognizing the milestones didn't matter so much to me, since I KNOW what I've accomplished. As for the people you've met with 17 years of sobriety who fall off the wagon -- well, somehow they forgot the 1st Step, didn't they?? And there is always more to it for the recidivists than JUST thinking that they can handle it just this once, ie Life Issues that are challenging them..... Zala IP: Logged |
Kim Rogers
unregistered
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posted June 22, 2006 04:56 PM
Hey A69,We have a few things in common. I'm Scorp-sun & Pisces-moon. I went to AA for many years, and figured out that I'm not allergic to alcohol. I'm allergic to alcoholics, so I went to Al-anon.  It's all basically a "soul sickness". It doesn't matter which form it takes. I still have my big book. I will never part with it. There are too many good truths for living in those pages. I made many great friends, some of which I still keep in semi-close contact with. Whatever form the soul sickness takes makes me thankful for the many recovery programs out there. "To Thine Own Self Be True"
------------------
"When the student is ready the teacher will appear" IP: Logged |
aquaspryt69
unregistered
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posted June 22, 2006 10:01 PM
Thanks Pidaua! And I'm ready for a name change if i can find one i like as much as aquaspryt. Any suggestions? Zala I didn't mean to come across wrong. I'm just concerned, but it didn't come out right. I know your path is not mine or i'd be the one with 11 yrs sobriety. I just don't like seeing people with years of sobriety slip. But you are right in that they have forgotten step 1 and most speak of a major life event having been the root cause of their reason/excuse for relapsing. I enjoy talking with people who have experience in the program, so I hope I haven't offended you. I'm struggling with the softer emotions I've pushed down and refused to feel. Now, it's like I have no choice but to feel them and it's a lesson I'm struggling with...that feeling of vulnerability? I hate it!! I am figuring out that the less I fight it the better off I am. A saying in AA is helping me with many things....."as long as I stay out of my own way, I'm o.k." " Thanks for sharing with me. It's great to find so many kindred spirits in LL! Hey Kim,
I thought I was going to fall out of my chair laughing. I think I'm allergic to alcoholics as well!  I don't think I've ever met another scorp sun/pisces moon, male or female, so this is strangely exciting to me. I will have to check out an Al-anon meeting. My curiosity is piqued now.
I didn't understand this phrase in my first months of sobriety, but I now say without a doubt that I am a greatful alcoholic. What a fabulous adventure!! LL is full of fabulous people and I am looking forward to getting to know them. What an adventure!  IP: Logged |
Azalaksh
Knowflake Posts: 982
From: New Brighton, MN, USA
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted June 22, 2006 10:42 PM
Thank goodness, someone who can spell “piqued” !!!
You have no idea how the spelling around here aggravates me  No, aq (my fingers have a problem typing your full name) I’m not offended in the least, and I apologize if I came off a little strong on that – was just attempting to describe that all of us have different paths, and different things work for each of us. That feeling of vulnerability you’re hating?? It’ll get better – I know exactly what you mean. The crutch is gone. But believe me, one day really soon, you’ll realize you’re strong without that dang crutch!! Please check out that book I recommended – you’ll love the protagonist Take care of yourself on your journey – I have a feeling you’re going to be fine!!! Zala IP: Logged |
Lindaland
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