posted June 29, 2006 07:40 AM            

Now I know Saturn has a lot to do with it, however..It's also affecting all of my singletons. Saturn is conjunct my singleton Moon, opposite my singleton Mars and quincunx my singleton Neptune. Jupiter is transiting my first house however, its also squaring all of those Singletons. It's making all the good uck and lucky breaks I find, fall through at the worst times ever.

And I usually don't complain, but this transit hurts. It hurts emotionally like hell, mentally, and physically. It's almost like everytime I learn maturity and discipline and get my life back on track, something happens to keep stomping my head back into the ground. I can't take it because it's made a grumpy, irritant, bitter, S.O.B out of me. I used to make people smile and never questioned my happiness, now I never question that I don't have happiness. I question every relationship or good thing that happens and criticize it (and I never used to be one to judge) to the point where it's teeth clenching painful. I mean I've become this tactless, reality preaching, unfeeling wench who everyone loves to hate. I shut myself up in my house even though my friends havent seen me for a year and I'm dying to see them, I sit inside and paint. And paint, and paint.

And it's not a personality change, because I feel myself below the surface, for some reason it's just like I put on a really dark and depressing mask. And i'm trying to make myself feel better by killing everyone elses dreams because mine arent working out.

posted June 29, 2006 10:33 AM              

Take time out to make a list of all the things about which you say, "I can't", "I shouldn't" or "I have no right to (want?)"

Keep the list handy for a week, adding to it as things come up.

Next, find a quiet time and examine your list. With each item, ask yourself, "Why?"
By the time you get through it, you should have changed several of these to "I can," "I have the right to," and/or "This is OK."

posted June 29, 2006 11:26 AM              

You have Saturn (duty, also restriction, structure) opposite (energy is over-excited by) Mars (being, also action) and Jupiter (expansion) square (energy needs to be combined with) other planetary energies. There are two effects here: one is frustration, as you want to do something (Mars), Saturn comes along and restricts your ability to do it. Also, as Jupiter tends to overexpand the effects of your energies.

The challenge is to accept limitations, and structure the things you can. When you are stopped from doing things, why are you stopped? What structures needs to be in place before you can take the actions you want? Where are you overexpanding your expectations for the results of the action?

Saturn conjunct (energy is combined with) Moon (home, also emotions) can be restrictive on our emotions. The challenge is to structure our emotions in some way. Which emotions of your need to be structured? What would your new "structured" emotion look like? What would it feel like?

Answer these questions and you can make a friend of your Saturn!

Saturnally yours,

posted June 29, 2006 11:35 AM              

big hugs to you...

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"WHATEVER the soul longs for, WILL be attained by the spirit"

"Love knows not its own depth until the hour of separation"

posted July 02, 2006 07:50 PM              

I don't remember your astro info, but that's OK, I can go by the information in your post. But I was curious what Sign(s) and House(s) your Mercury, Mars & Saturn are in.

It's amazing that while I may not have the exact placements you mentioned, I was able to relate to it because of similar energies at work in my Chart. It's amazing cuz I'm starting to get the feeling that those who have similar energies in their Charts should share possible solutions to each other's baggage. For example, a Neptune in the 12th House may feel things are too muddled to fathom, but then comes along someone with a Pisces Sun in the 12th ...

... they can relate and emphasize with you moreso than most others, and because the experiences then become similar, the Sun might be able to teach that Neptune something ...

If your Singleton is in a really strong position, it could play up similar energies as if it were almost your Sun Sign. You'd get more insight on that if you check the Aspects, such as the Singleton Conjunct Ascendant.

You asked about how a Transiting Saturn can affect a Singleton. I'm not even sure if I've experienced that Transit yet, but based on similar experiences, I'd say my Singleton Uranus in Leo (only Fire in my Chart) would try to rebel. It's totally possible the energies of Leo, Saturn & Uranus find themselves cooperating from time to time. Looking for that commonality helps.

The last time I felt what you describe, I found the best thing to do was to deal with it rather than attempt to control it. Easier said than done. I'm so glad you have a good outlet for that too. Try to remember that your expectations do not always equal the Higher Plan in mind. If you ride the crest of the wave just right, you'll be able to adjust your expectations accordingly.

When you said

quote:

---

i'm trying to make myself feel better by killing everyone elses dreams because mine arent working out.

---

... I realized that's a good place to start asking yourself simply WHY feel the need to lash out at SOMETHING. Don't get distracted by delusions of grandeur.

posted July 02, 2006 08:45 PM              

"I'd say my Singleton Uranus in Leo (only Fire in my Chart) would try to rebel. It's totally possible the energies of Leo, Saturn & Uranus find themselves cooperating from time to time. Looking for that commonality helps"