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Author Topic:   Friends With Exes
BlueEyes24
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posted July 27, 2006 10:49 AM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Question for everyone:

What are your moon and venus signs (and house placements) and do you usually stay friends with ex-boyfriends/girlfriends or an ex-lover?

Do you get jealous if your current flame stays in contact with HIS ex?

I have my moon and venus both in Scorpio, and they are both in the 11th house. I am not on bad terms with any of my exes, but I also don't really see the point in staying friends with them, besides the occasional "hi, how are you" stuff. I just look at it as it was in the past, and it should stay in the past.

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Mama Mia
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From:
Registered: Feb 2010

posted July 27, 2006 10:52 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Mama Mia     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Hey BEyes..

I have moon and Venus in Aqua both in the 12th house. I am destined to remain friends with my Ex's, I do not mind I don't call them and all that, but I know that I am cool with them all. And when things are over I make sure we are ok..

My guy is an Aqua so he too are friends with some of his ex's.. I could care less..
To each his own I guess..

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shirty
unregistered
posted July 27, 2006 10:55 AM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Hey Blue!

I have Moon in Gemini (11th house) and Venus in Scorpio (4th house). With the exes *I* broke up with, I usually remain friends with them because I make the effort not to be cold and distant. But I will never be great friends with them I don't think.

The ones who ran from me have come crawling back but they never made an effort other than once every 2 months, and that just gets on my nerves.

~shirty

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alanabelle86
Knowflake

Posts: 40
From: Somewhere over the rainbow
Registered: May 2009

posted July 27, 2006 12:43 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for alanabelle86     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Moon in Leo 10th house...Venus in Scorpio 1st house

I wouldn't say I stay friends with my exes...I give them the occasional "hi, how are you..." but that's it. the only way I'd keep talking to them was if I knew that somewhere down the line in my future, i'd be "physically" lonely, and could manipulate the option of a hook up..

but that never happens... so to answer the question, not usually...i usually just move on and if I see them i acknowledge their presence but thats it...

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Inner depths
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posted July 27, 2006 01:10 PM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I strongly refuse to even keep in touch with my exes. There is something horrifying keeping the past in the present for me. I have had too many on again off again relationships in my younger days that it has smartened me up.

I have Venus in Pisces in the 10th and a Cancer moon in the 2/3rd house cusp. I'm thinking now it's in the 3rd house cause I can really move my audience.

Sun in Aries - I love to go ahead and forge new horizons and seek new adventures and then regal my frineds with my stories....

ID

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sunshine9
Knowflake

Posts: 107
From: Chapel Hill, NC, US
Registered: Apr 2009

posted July 27, 2006 01:18 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for sunshine9     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I have my Moon in Capricorn (2nd house) and Venus in Pisces (4th house).

I have stayed friends with an ex or two, but don't keep in touch all that much any more. One of them, a Scorpio with his Venus in Capricorn still flirts with me despite having moved on with another girlfriend; he can't seem to help it and I don't think it's healthy, so I keep my distance now. The other was an Aqua, but there was no more spark left there for me and he's now married with kids, so no problems there; I think we could be purely friends, but then he's all the way up north in Canada while i'm in the southeastern part of the U.S.

In my experience, I think it's hard to stay friends with an ex, because there's the danger of falling into old ways (if the spark still exists, or if there were unresolved feelings), or at the very least, it's very upsetting to the new girlfriend/boyfriend. My Venus in Pisces predisposes me to feeling sorry for the ex since I ended it, and it wouldn't be healthy for my current relationship. I think I'd prefer not to stray there, if at all possible.

I tend to be a bit on the jealous/possessive side, so it would bother me if my guy were in touch with his ex, unless of course, it were clear to me that they're no more than friends, and I felt secure in his loyalty toward me.

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Scorpio Chick
unregistered
posted July 27, 2006 01:49 PM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Libra Moon (9th) and Scorpio Venus (10th) here.

I remain friends with some of my exes. My ex husband (Sag)and I are on great terms because we have a child together. I would say I'm lucky that our divorce was not bitter at all.

I'm still friends with my high school sweetheart, a Leo. He is the only person outside my family that I've known for more than 10 years.

I recently ran into the Aquaman that broke my heart a year ago. By coincidence, we passed each other on the highway and later that day, showed up at the same pharmacy. I felt a dread come over me when I saw him and immediately turned to walk away and not speak to him. But he saw me and we wound up spending a few hours together catching up. Since that day, about a week ago, I've felt like the issues we had were finally behind us. I know we were not meant to be. And that helps me keep perspective.

So, yeah, I tend to be friendly toward my exes. Maybe it's my fixed nature, and the fact that most of my exes and immediate family are Aquas and Leos, lol.

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Dulce Luna
Newflake

Posts: 7
From: The Asylum, NC
Registered: Apr 2009

posted July 27, 2006 04:20 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Dulce Luna     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
My moon is in Virgo (8th house) and my venus is in Gemini (5th house).I guess nowadays I'll be cordial to them if I see them, but I won't go out of my way to stay in touch with them.(What's the point? ) Back in the day I would've actively avoided them.(Not going to mutual "spots") I never understood why people would go out of their way to stay friends with ex's. Oh well.

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sunshine9
Knowflake

Posts: 107
From: Chapel Hill, NC, US
Registered: Apr 2009

posted July 27, 2006 05:05 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for sunshine9     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
ScorpioChick,

HOw in the world did you manage to stay friends with an ex-husband?!! Do share your secret!

Dulce Luna,

Isn't it hard to avoid those "mutual" spots if they're all over town? One relationship I had lasted several years, and I don't think I ever really got over him. It was hard to really avoid those places where we made memories, because they're pretty much everywhere. Everything I saw/heard would remind me of him. How do you get over someone in such circumstances, I've often wondered? I honestly don't know how to get over someone you've had such an intense connection with... We'd broken up a few times & just ended up getting back together; I guess these are the exes you can't really be friends with, huh?!

To answer your question, I think one might want to keep in touch if you've managed to actually get over the person, but don't want to write them off after all the sweet memories - perhaps they could turn into really good friends!! I don't know... I've never done it though.

Sunshine

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Miss Saturn
unregistered
posted July 27, 2006 05:39 PM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote

I am Venus Square Pluto and their is no way I could stay friends with an ex. When the relationship is over it is truly over. There is no breathing life into it again. The relationship is dead. (But that's just me, my partner is probably happy to get rid of me too,) I always think when a man wants to stay friends, he just wants the link between you to remain, so he can worm his way back in. Especially if he was reluctant to end the relationship in the first place.)

I hope I am in a stage of transforming my relationship, I do relate healthy now. Not like my early twenties. I think being a mother now changes my perspective I will always think about my actions, and how I relate. A lot of my old relating patterns don't exist anymore. Time will tell.

Miss S

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Miss Saturn
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posted July 27, 2006 05:46 PM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote

Also I wouldn't allow my boyfriend to stay in touch with an ex. My boyfriend has another child with someone before he met me. They have no contact at all they communicate through my partners ex's sister.

But then would I feel different if I split from my fella, because we have a child together, I would need a certain amount of contact, but not be friends I think this would complicate things and lead the other person on.

Miss s

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Venus
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posted July 27, 2006 08:47 PM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I am really good friends with an ex boyfriend and we still go out together occasionally and keep in touch regularly. I am not a jealous person despite having Sun and Venus in Pisces and I would not object to a boyfriend having contact with an ex and if it was an ex wife and they had a child together then I would think it imperative for the child's welfare that they did try to remain 'friends' even if just for the child's sake

I think were children are involved adults should be 'adult' enough to put their differenceas aside unless of course ther was abuse involved in the relationship.

Venus

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Venus
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posted July 27, 2006 08:47 PM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I am really good friends with an ex boyfriend and we still go out together occasionally and keep in touch regularly. I am not a jealous person despite having Sun and Venus in Pisces and I would not object to a boyfriend having contact with an ex and if it was an ex wife and they had a child together then I would think it imperative for the child's welfare that they did try to remain 'friends' even if just for the child's sake

I think were children are involved adults should be 'adult' enough to put their differenceas aside unless of course ther was abuse involved in the relationship.

Venus

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Venus
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posted July 27, 2006 08:48 PM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Sorry bout the double post

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Lauren
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posted July 27, 2006 09:45 PM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
What are your moon and venus signs (and house placements) and do you usually stay friends with ex-boyfriends/girlfriends or an ex-lover?

My Moon is Capricorn in the 8th, and my Venus is Aries 29’ in the 11th. I stay friends with almost everyone. It takes a lot for me to completely rule someone out of my life, because I want peace and happiness at the end of the day. That being said, if it gets to a point where the person has really crossed the line, there isn’t much turning back for me.
quote:
Do you get jealous if your current flame stays in contact with HIS ex?

Not at all. I’ve met two of my bf’s exes. They’re cool and I like them. I guess if it was an ex “from hell” so to speak lol.. the dragon lady.. then I’d have a problem with it. But if they’re nice, friendly people and they don’t act weird or play silly games.. then I’d be friends with them also.

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Dulce Luna
Newflake

Posts: 7
From: The Asylum, NC
Registered: Apr 2009

posted July 28, 2006 12:17 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Dulce Luna     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
"I honestly don't know how to get over someone you've had such an intense connection with... "

In my case I'd probably pretend like I moved on, especially if we're not on good terms (which is usually the case). But these type of things are awkward to me.


Relationships and dating have always been awkward to me even though I have a seventh house sun.


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The Virgin
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posted July 28, 2006 01:32 AM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Hi Blueeyes, Moon Pisces Sixth, Venus Libra first. Generally, when I make a break it's a clean one. Lesson learned, thanks alot, have a great life. Then I think of them fondly.

But my luck couldn't last for too long. I had a child with the guy from my last realtionship. Ideally, I would have taken my son and moved on because that is what I do, and he turned out to be not what I thought he was but a whole lot of psycological aspects concerning family ties took precedence over my tendencies to leave.

It's one of those life experiences I need, I suppose. Running away, no matter how gracefully I do it is still running away and now I'm saddled with a big pain in my arse for ever. Ouch! LOL

------------------
Sun Virgo, moon Pisces, Libra rising,mercury venus conjunct in first house, Mars Leo.

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BlueEyes24
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posted July 28, 2006 09:15 AM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Hey guys, thanks for your replies.

I asked this question because right now my boyfriend's ex keeps holding on to the past, even though they broke up 2 years ago. She goes out of her way to stay in contact with him (even though she lives with her boyfriend). I don't understand this. But I have noticed from the beginning that she has been jealous of our relationship together. My boyfriend ignores her everytime she calls or texts, but she continues to be persistant.

Other than that, I don't mind if my boyfriend says the occasional "hi, how are you" to his exes. But he feels the same way about me, we are both "all or nothing people" and don't understand the point in staying friends with an ex (unless you had a kid together).

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Miss Saturn
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posted July 28, 2006 01:26 PM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Whether you stay friends with an ex or not it all depends on the circumstances, and how the relationship finished. If it ended bitterly you wouldn't want to stay friends. If one person was still in love, but the other person wasn't in love any more but agreed to be friends, this would be cruel.

Also even if a couple had a child together, I don't think they should always necessarily remain friends. In my situation my partner's ex cheated on him throughout the relationship, the whole relationship was very destructive, fighting arguing just a miserable time for both of them.

When his ex wife finished the relationship to be with another man, my partner had found another girl and started to date her. His ex wife found out got jealous was knocking on his door wanting to sleep with him. I think the mentality of this woman was she didn't want him at the time, but when another woman did it was like she had to prove to herself she could get him back, like she had power over him.

Sometimes with women they want to try to prove they are more attractive more desireable than the other woman. Some people may not agree with it, and not all women are like this. But there are women who will attempt to get the man back when he is dating someone new, whether they really want him or not.

I wouldn't allow my partner to be friends with his ex for this very valid reason. He doesn't want to be either. Also I won't let him criticise his ex in front of the daughter they have together, because I don't want the little girl to grow up with a negative view on how women are treated.

Miss S

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Lauren
unregistered
posted July 28, 2006 09:26 PM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
we are both "all or nothing people" and don't understand the point in staying friends with an ex (unless you had a kid together).

Well from my point of view, an ex is still a person, homo sapien if you like lol.. and in order for me to go out of them in the first place they'd have to be someone I can establish a friendship connection with, good communication etc. I wouldn't want to lose touch with an ex anymore than I would want to lose touch with one of my best friends (if I moved to another city for instance).. I'd have to see a guy as a close friend to go out with him in the first place.. someone I can hang out with and play around with and talk for hours on end, that kinda thing.. I think it's my Sun in the 11th talking there.

No doubt, there’s something to be said for the deep, quiet, totally unspoken but very much so bonded relationship.. but to be honest I’ve had enough of this (due to one particular person) to last me several life times.. and I don’t believe in this kind of interaction anymore. It’s either genuine, honest, real and friendly.. completely down to earth, or it isn’t a real relationship to me. I don’t really like the strong gender role relationships either, where the female is extra feminine and the male is extra masculine.. I generally prefer hanging out and being friends with everyone, including my exes.

But, like other people mentioned, if I was to go through a bad break up.. if we split on bad terms and there was no good will coming from his side to patch things up, forgive and forget, then I wouldn’t bother. I’d also end contact, if the person crossed me in some terrible way that I couldn’t get past.. but that goes for both friends and lovers and anyone else in my life in general.

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The Virgin
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posted July 28, 2006 10:46 PM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Hi Blueeyes, I never understood why someone would want to be friends/lovers whatever with someone who has no interest in them. I don't think there is much else you can do short of getting a harrassment order on her, than what you two are already doing and that's ignoring her.

I wonder what her boyfriend thinks of her always trying to get in touch with your boyfriend?

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BlueTopaz124
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Posts: 207
From: Portland, OR, USA
Registered: Apr 2009

posted July 28, 2006 11:47 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for BlueTopaz124     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Depends on your own comfort level with the relationship in it's 'over' status. Are you able to really relate to each other as genuine caring friends once it's over?

I usually break it off and depends on the nature of the relationship. I my Moon is in Aquarius, 2nd and have Venus in Libra in the 11th so I want to be harmonius friends with everyone...but that's not how people always want to be towards me...so...

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Dulce Luna
Newflake

Posts: 7
From: The Asylum, NC
Registered: Apr 2009

posted July 28, 2006 11:48 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Dulce Luna     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Yes, that's kind of weird BlueEyes. Tell yo man to get the restraining order. Nosah, I'm just kidding But seriously, she needs to respect your boyfriend's wishes and leave him alone as he obviously has no interest in maintaining any sort of relationship with her. I still don't understand why people want to be buddy buddy with ex's but thanks for answering my question Sunshine9.

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tbone
unregistered
posted July 29, 2006 03:18 PM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
yes; i am friends with quite a few of my exes..ONe of them is getting married next month. We dont really talk very often only on special occasions(birthdays, xmas..etc.)
I try to be sometimes its hard . oh: i have MOon in Pisces/ venus in Leo. and am a CAncerian. I usually need at least.. 4-6 months to become friends with them after the relationship has ended.

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