posted August 20, 2006 11:07 PM
First of, let me apologize to you for being a source for so much controversy surrounding you over here. I had no idea it would lead to this.Secondly, If you were here with me, I would get down on my hands and knees and bow down before you. You are a sheer genius, as, only you have been able to make me re-believe in the wonders of an astrological birthchart reading.
How on earth did you know all that about me? I've been struggling with obesity and my closet homosexuality for as long as I can remember. No one, not even some of the most "brilliantly professional" astrologers have been able to point that out to me in my charts. Not a single one except you. And the way you depicted that i live in a stern strict old fashioned family.. remarkable.
At first when I read your post, I was shocked and appalled, thinking how could anyone be so cruel. However, after some time, I re-read it, and then it really hit me. I spiralled back into my past (with the help of old journals and diaries i kept) and every entry of mine describing depressive feelings did revolve around my physical body. I thought and thought, spiralled back and forth, and after hours and hours of reassessing and re-evaluating, I discovered how right you were by calling me a "total wh@re for attention". All my suicidal attempts were just ways of gaining sympathy and pitty from people, but it just ended up backfiring and i felt more and more worse when nothing happened and hence no one could feel sorry for me. I truly was living in a "pitty party", and was constantly doing such things for attention. I grew up thinking my parents and family prefered my thin and beautiful sisters and not me, the fat ugly one, and I would weep and weep all alone in my room when I would see my siblings going out on dates and parties while I stayed home to open the door for them when they came back.
However, in all my sobbings and private depressive spirals of self loathing, I now realize that I wasn't really helping myself. I was only continuing the viscious circle of depression and self hatred, only to be clouding all the good things about myself. My family doesnt hate me, they've provided me everything I could ever need, even though I'm in my early 20's and not yet earning or supporting myself, they are giving me a comfortable home with all the luxuries to keep me content. My parents do care for me, and don't think I'm useless just because I'm fat and ugly. If they did, they wouldn't have accepted me back despite me dropping out of college and never telling them about it. They encouraged me to finish college as well as send people to me for tarot card readings, just so that i can improve my skills. I really was the "most self depreciative dumbfuck the world has ever seen". Now I feel so ashamed for wasting my 20 odd years just being unhappy for myself. Thank you for opening my eyes about it. Now I have the strength and energy to move on with my life and leave those feelings behind, without Ritalin and Prozac helping me.
And I'm not just saying it for the sake of saying it. You did save my life. For your brutal honesty and frankness, topped by your astrological brilliance, has helped me see the light. Isn't it silly how I used something as superficial as my looks to dig myself into such a deep hole of depression.
You wont believe how many times have I consulted "professionals". They all used to give me the same tried and tired "feel-good" motivational jargon. But it never worked. Then I came on here, seeking more help. At first, no one answered, till I bumped it up, then Tim responded. No offence to him, he is brilliant. But his sugar coated generalized version couldnt help me tap into the root cause the way you did. Rev Alice kindly offered her email address promising help, but till now I havent received a single reply. Again, I mean no disrespect to her, for she is also well learned in her field. Librachoice offered some positivity, and thank you for it. Yet when you replied, you hit the hammer on the nail. And thank you so much for doing it.
I know you didn't mean to offend me. You probably knew that i needed the slaps and the "Snap out of it", as well as the, "Get over yourself bi@tch!" You knew that it would get me up on my feet, and begin reevaluating myself. If you stuck to the feel good notion, I really would have gone mad. How you knew that I needed such kind of reinforcement is beyond me. You really must have studied my chart. You truly are an astrological genius. And like many geniuses, greatly misunderstood by the masses.
I've taken your advise.
The very next day, I enlisted myself with a dietetian/homoeopathic practioner, who has put me on an all natural plan. And I'm proud to say that just after two days, I've lost a staggering 5 pounds. Even though my dietetian warned me not to get too excited as it is water weight, and I do have a long way to go, and the weightloss wouldnt be so sudden, it would take time. But it truly has kept me motivated. When i stood on the scales that day and saw my loss, it was one of the happiest moments in my life, and I owe it all to you to finally allow me to shed tears of hope and happiness, rather than despair and regret.
I've even started going for a walk. Even though it isnt really that brisk, but for me to walk 2 miles, it's a miracle. And you're absolutely right, a walk can do wonders, in more ways than one. I walk along a Nature trail, and as i walk, I see the beauty of mother nature around me, appreciating all her joys and wonders. If it werent for your advise, I wouldn't have ever gone to that trail, and discovered it's beauty. Instead I would have been stuck in my room and sobbing my self pittying heart out.
When I look in the mirror, I dont see the same fat ugly unhappy boy. I visualize a strong, handsome, fit and sexy man. Which is what I shall be in the coming year, and it will all be due to you.
And how on hell did you know I'm a writer who can't complete anything. Thank you for saying that to me in such a way. I will move my fatass and I shall strive to complete my works. And when i do finish my first book, it would be dedicated solely to you.
You are truly a god send. An astrological "Goddess". Divine with blessed knowledge from the stars. Where ever "in the arms of unconsciousness" you are, I hope you are doing well and aren't hurt by what people are saying about you here. I love you, and honor you. Please don't take the things said here seriously. They probably didnt understand your intentions and motivations and were quick to judge and discriminate after astro junkie made an issue out of it. Strange how it took a closed up post and a hasty assumption to turn a saint into a sinner. Stay with us here in Linda Land Divine Goddess, we need you here.
Love
SS.
P.S.
To all those who have spoken ill about Divine Goddess, and jumped to such harsh conclusions of her character and persona. I am ashamed.
I know you all were trying to be supportive, I did read all your good posts and kind words. But how could you say such things about someone like DG. Especially after all her contributions over here.
Sure, her methods are different and unorthodox, and she doesn't refrain from speaking her mind, and perhaps she does use cuss words. But look beyond that and see her sheer brilliance.
She has posted about numerous topics relating to astrology, as well as, cleared many misconceptions and cloudy issues in the field of astrology and the occult. Since I have been studying astrology for a long time with a passionate frevor, her posts have really helped me learn more and appreciate astrology more and more. Never before have i seen anyone give clear and conscise solutions to complex astrological problems.
When neptune5 posted about death and health issues, she was the first to put a stop to the false information spreading, and obliged us with her wisdom in checking something like death, in a way no one could have explained ever. Can't you see that her scoldings to Neptune were only meant to stop the spread of inaccurate information that can lead to severe consequences in the wrong hands?
And how she talked about various house systems and encouraged people to try and experiment with different ones instead of sticking to the regular Placidus. I switched to equal, and it has helped me tremendously in studying charts.
Those of you who have received readings from her, couldn't you see how they ring true to you all? And her style is humorous and gets us smiling. And when she debates serious issues, Like Wicca in the The Pilgrims Progress section, (THE PATH). My cousin is a Dianic wiccan, and when i made her read what DG had to say, her words were, "Finally, somebody is breaking all the negative stereotypes and telling the truth about the craft."
And then, just over a newbie, you turned your backs on her, calling her god knows what all and thinking how vile she is. It's shameful to treat someone who's contributed so much without a benefit of doubt. Shameful.
I personally am requesting Randall, and all the mods, to allow her to post again and I hereby apologize to her on behalf of everyone.
Here are some of her posts and topics. Please, see the sheer extraordinary brilliance she possesses, along with an extremely witty sense of humor. And then decide whether she is really worth being made a social outcast.
Thank You.
Topic: Physical Vitality http://www.linda-goodman.com/ubb/Forum1/HTML/010096.html
Topic: Death & The 8th House http://www.linda-goodman.com/ubb/Forum1/HTML/010101.html
Topic: Which House System? http://www.linda-goodman.com/ubb/Forum1/HTML/009795.html
Topic: Vedic Astrology I had no idea!!! http://www.linda-goodman.com/ubb/Forum1/HTML/008544.html
Topic: Erogenous Zones? http://www.linda-goodman.com/ubb/Forum1/HTML/009412.html
Topic: 25 STEPS TO CHOOSING YOUR VOCATION ASTROLOGICALLY http://www.linda-goodman.com/ubb/Forum4/HTML/000285.html
Topic: Projecting into the Future: Using Numerology http://www.linda-goodman.com/ubb/Forum2/HTML/001683.html
Topic: Thought reading by Numbers http://www.linda-goodman.com/ubb/Forum2/HTML/001624.html
Topic: New Home-Good luck symbols http://www.linda-goodman.com/ubb/Forum2/HTML/002234.html
Topic: Great songs with Mystical Undertones http://www.linda-goodman.com/ubb/Forum2/HTML/001646.html
Topic: Spiritual Kissing ---The Kamasutra way http://www.linda-goodman.com/ubb/Forum2/HTML/001655.html
Topic: The Path http://www.linda-goodman.com/ubb/Forum13/HTML/000472.html
Topic: Freaky Astrological Parents - And how to Survive them http://www.linda-goodman.com/ubb/Forum1/HTML/008679.html
Topic: Sibling Rivalry ; The Astrological Battle
http://www.linda-goodman.com/ubb/Forum1/HTML/008720.html
Topic: Sex and the City - The Astrological Version http://www.linda-goodman.com/ubb/Forum1/HTML/008279.html
Please come back DG, we need you.
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