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Author Topic:   My Aqua gf is a workaholic
Tauro
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posted October 02, 2006 07:59 PM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
ok update!

girlfriend came round lastnight and i could tell she was reallly tired and drained. She said she feels like a really bad girlfriend because she works so many hours a week and dosen't have much time to see me, she works for a real estate company doing HR and marketing. She sounded very trusting and genuine because she said that i could get a better girlfriend who would treat me better and this really upsetted me because i love her. She's always worked this hard, she hired me in her last job in January and she worked her absolute ass off, then she left that job and we kind of stuck together because we worked closely together on a magazine publication and the attraction was there.

She said that she loves hanging out with me and has so much fun with me and that i'm the best boyfriend she's ever had. She said that she dosen't want to hurt me and that we would be better off as friends, which i can't do. Too many feelings for her. I told her that if we broke up, i'd never see her again. She said she has very strong feelings for me but feels like she's being unfair on me by not seeing me much. She still wants to be with me but she just thought we would be better as friends because she feels like a bad girlfriend.


She works 5 days a week then overtime of 3 nights a week. When we see eachother she's very tired from working so hard but i still enjoy her company. I see her on the weekends.

Question is that i have to ask myself, can i compromise the time and still make it work? It would be a very platonic relationship.

Anyone has a similar experience? Maybe i should let her go...how sad.

Tauro

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librpio
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posted October 02, 2006 08:04 PM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
love is eternal.. if you let it go that easily then it wasnt worth a dime

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libraschoice7
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From: the city so nice they named it twice!
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posted October 02, 2006 08:06 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for libraschoice7     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Do what you feel in your heart is best, it's really only up to you to decide what will happen next(ok now I feel like a fortune cookie)...

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Tauro
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posted October 02, 2006 08:07 PM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
So true. I'm thinking about sticking it out, the talk we had lastnight settled me worries of her not being trusting enough, she definitely is.

Maybe one day she will realise what she's got and start working less?!

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Lynx
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posted October 02, 2006 08:28 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Lynx     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I'm an Aqua and a real estate agent, as well as a full-time student, publicist, and event organizer.

If the woman is anything like me, she's not going to change.

And real estate? That, by itself, requires more than 40 hours and sometimes weekends because people always want to see property on the weekends, or after or before they go to work.

I have basically decided that I don't have time for anyone and I'm better off that way. Nobody cares when I do have time.

If she's making time, anytime, appreciate it. Trying to get her to work less is selfishness on your part.

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AppleLove
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posted October 02, 2006 08:28 PM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Hey Tauro!

Did you say that this upsest you because you love her to her face? If so, does she tell you that she loves you too?

It's hard to decide because everything in life changes every moment. The only thing that is constant is change.

Someone could marry a person that dedicate tons of time to a relationship only to find out years later that same person gets caught up in so much work that they rarely see each other.

Then you can also have the reverse. You can be dating someone that might be a workaholic to begin with but as things progress later down the road they might find that life has become meaningless from just work and find that same person wants to spend time together.

I guess the point is there are no guarantees in life with anything. But one thing it seems you know in your heart is that eventually this would have to shift or you will be unhappy with the given circumstances.

Does she talk about how she desires to work less in the future?

Maybe you can grow slowly as friends and see if you really love this person that much with limited time together...and if so then blossom into something else more meaningful in the future.

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Tauro
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posted October 02, 2006 08:31 PM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I think i need to just let her go. I think i'll let her go next time i see her.

It's for the best for both of us.

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AppleLove
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posted October 02, 2006 08:44 PM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
That sounds like what your heart really is telling you. That reminds me of this spiritual quote sitting on my desk.

"When you fight something, you're tied to it forever. As long as you're fighting it, you're giving it power." What are you fighting?

Resistance always brings pain. Examine your struggle. What does your personality wnat from the situation? What does your soul want? What can you learn from this?

It seems when we stop fighting things in life but rather let go we are back in the natural flow where life is just easier. I know the relief I feel when I truly LET GO. Sometimes we have to let go to see if there really was anything to "hang onto".

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libraschoice7
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From: the city so nice they named it twice!
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posted October 02, 2006 08:46 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for libraschoice7     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Thats awesome advice Applelove...

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Tauro
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posted October 02, 2006 08:54 PM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
yeah you're right apple. A part of me is trying to make her into a person she can't be, i'm having trouble accpeting it but i know it's the right thing to do which is to let her go.

I'll let you know how it goes.

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AppleLove
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posted October 02, 2006 09:01 PM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Your honest and integrity is so refreshing Tauro. I applaud you numerous times over for trusting you heart.

Check out a post I just put up (I had this thought to write this out a minute ago): It's called "Love is Like a Butterfly"

Keep us posted!

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Shining Ray
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posted October 03, 2006 03:43 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Shining Ray     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I kind of take a different view to this situation unless he works out the conflict within himself. Tauro will just run into another relationship similar to this one.

If you look at Tauro's chart you will see a square between his Jupiter in Aquarius 5th the detachment side of him and Moon in Taurus 8th his strong need for security in his intimate relationships.

As much as this "AQUARIAN" girl is detached and flirty and doesn't relate in the way Tauro wants her too. At the end of the day you need to resolve the conflict within yourself.

I may be very unpopular now for saying all of this and I am not having a go at you Tauro, because believe me I have my own conflicts within myself to resolve. But be careful of always blaming others for the unhappiness you are feeling within your relationship.

Shining Ray

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Shining Ray
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posted October 03, 2006 04:05 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Shining Ray     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
On the other thread of you feeling an emotional wreck, I don't know if you read my reply or not or maybe you just didn't identify with what I said and that is fine you know who you are. But with your NN in Taurus 8th you are learning to trust and depend on another within your intimate relationships.

Also you have Venus in Aries if I have remembered correctly so you express affection directly.

Quote by Stephen Arroya - Need to feel close to another can be thwarted by strong self assertive, demanding qualities: Intimacy therefore sometimes difficult to achieve.

Your chart does strongly suggest intimacy problems. Even your Saturn in Scorpio is learning how to control powerful emotions. There is a block with intimacy with others.

Moon in Taurus 8th square Jupiter in Aquarius 5th - This suggests the conflict.

Venus in Aries - Finding it difficult to achieve intimacy.

Moon in 8th oppose Saturn in Scorpio.
Saturn craves the intimacy but it can create a block.

Saturn in Scorpio - creates the block to deep intimate feelings.

With your North Node in Taurus 8th you are trying to learn how to depend and trust a partner and how to accept the support and assistance of another.

P.S I will shut up now, I think you have heard enough from me. I think everyone is sick of hearing the word "INTIMACY" from me.

Shining Ray

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Tauro
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posted October 03, 2006 05:00 AM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Hey shining!

Interesting points. Thing is, i have no problem with intimacy, i crave it or are you saying that these aspects of mine are blocking something? I'm a very intimate person and have no problems expressing my emotions to my partner.

Did i misunderstand something?

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Shining Ray
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posted October 03, 2006 05:20 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Shining Ray     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Hi Tauro,

Whatever Saturn touches in the chart it craves so yes Saturn opposes your Moon in Taurus 8th - Which suggests you crave the emotional intimacy and stability in a relationship.

When I look at your Jupiter in Aquarius in the 5th it really matches the description of your Aquarius girlfriend you describing her as being detached and flirty which describes Aquarius and the 5th house.

You remind me of the Moon in Taurus 8th needing the emotional security and intimacy this description matches you.

But you have the square between these two planets and the situation seems to be playing out in your relationship.

Your girlfriend is playing the detached element you are the stable intimate Moon but the conflict exists within you.

Your girlfriend describes you as being big fun which I can see this clearly with your Jupiter in the 5th.

It is just your chart suggests challenges around being intimate the very thing you crave. Are you really attached to your relationship and do you spend equal time being independent and having fun. This could possibly be where the conflict is.

You know how your energies work so I can only guess what is going on.

I am glad you didn't perceive me as being harsh I was trying to look at the situation from a different perspective. But as you have described the situation with your girlfriend there is a challenge of being intimate because she is too detached and this kinda matches up with your chart.

Shining Ray

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Tauro
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posted October 03, 2006 05:26 AM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Not at all, thanks alot for your thoughtful insight.

I learnt ALOT about who i really am deep down with the time i've been with my girlfriend.

Although she is a big flirt, deep down she is very loyal and trusting, i've come to realise this from the talk we had lastnight. Because she has been working so much, my mind has been wondering and making up false stories which is a vicious cycle that happens inside me! I can't explain it very well.

I thought our emotions would get along well with my taurus moon and her cancer moon but it musen't be that simple.

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Shining Ray
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posted October 03, 2006 05:34 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Shining Ray     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Hi Tauro,

As I said before you are leaning to trust and depend on another in this lifetime indicated by your NN in Taurus 8th.

Maybe once you learn to trust her and meet your own independent needs too and have fun, it will ease the pressure off this Jupiter/Moon square.

Maybe you do have lots of fun independently and socialize. If you believe she is trustworthy than I would trust her. If she turns out to be untrustworthy than you move on. But try not to always expect the worst.

I have always found the more you cling or demand the intimacy the further the other person seems to move away. Maybe learn to relax and try a different approach and show her how much you trust her.

Shining Ray

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Tauro
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posted October 03, 2006 05:39 AM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Thats a great idea. There's a part of me that's so demanding with intimacy and another part that just wants to relax and have fun, this what i'm learning so much about myself.

Sometimes i feel intense affection and need that deep emotional security whereas othertimes i'm just content and happy where i am. I think it's also because i have a see-saw chart, balance is the key to all of this.

What sign are you if i may ask shining? You have a good sense of wisdom in your words.

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Shining Ray
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posted October 03, 2006 06:10 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Shining Ray     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Hi Tauro,

I am a Sun sign Pisces, Moon Pisces and Ascendant Virgo. I have a Venus Pluto square so intense feelings I understand completely. I have had the relationship dramas. I think I need to learn to resolve the conflict within me also.

Isn't it funny how we all can have such conflicting personalty's.

P.S This is what I was trying to say in my explanation of Jupiter Aquarius in 5th there is the side in you which likes to be independent and have lots of fun, and then as you said the other side of you which needs the intimacy. But you are right both areas 5th/8th needs equal time devoted to them.

Shining Ray

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Tauro
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posted October 03, 2006 06:30 AM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Interesting. I know hardly any pisces people, i'd like to meet more.

Do you think the main aspects in a chart are the sun, moon, mercury, ascendant and venus?

I mean, how many little aspects does it take to overide a major aspect?

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Shining Ray
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posted October 03, 2006 06:44 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Shining Ray     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I am no expert I am still learning. But yes all the major planets being:

Sun - your purpose.
Moon - emotions
Mercury - thinking
Venus - Love
Mars -energy drive. These are just a few of the meanings.

Then you have Jupiter - how you seek to grow and improve in life and experience trust in life. Yours in Aquarius from my book means - Need to feel completely independent intellectually in order to have full confidence in self, your faith may be individualistic and unique. Trusts in the unity of humanity and all knowledge, and has a broad tolerance for a wide variety of free expression.

Saturn - is how you seek to establish and preserve self through effort.
Uranus - change, disruption.
Neptune - to merge, unity, confusion.
Pluto - destruction, renewing, to transform.

If you stick to the basics of Astrology the main planets and aspects I don't count all the little aspects or asteroids as you can get lost in interpretation. The main planets in your chart will tell you your story.

Shining Ray

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1scorp
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posted October 03, 2006 10:18 AM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
At the present, I work 7 days/65 hours a week.

I know how your Aqua feels about seeing herself as being "the bad partner".

I say... if you care about her, hang in there. If she's like me, it won't last forever... and it's nice to still have that someone special.

Plus, if she recognizes that you are putting forth that much effort and going without the typical relationship benefits i.e.: lots of time together, dates, etc., she'll appreciate you that much more... and it will really show what a special/patient person you are.

We workaholics really don't mean any harm... we just can't help it.
_______________________________________
Scorpio sun, venus, mars, mercury, and uranus
Libra moon, pluto, and asc.

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