posted October 22, 2006 05:27 AM              

His birth details are: 20th May 1970 at 2.15am in Adelaide, Australia.

Mine are 12.50am on 3rd of January 1970 in Redcliffe, Australia.

I know we have a lot of physical, emotional and mental compatability.....Our moons are conjunct (His is conjunct my ascendant as well), His Sun, Mecury and Saturn are in my 7th house (Saturn also conjunct my descendant). His Mars and Venus are in my 8th (YEP..it's good!). Our big three's are all compatible as well.

BUT.....what worries me is that his Mars and Venus conjunct in Gemini (and conjunct his IC) make him quite the freespirit. As does his Uranus in his 7th too probably? I know that I'm not exactly a picture of stability myself with my Sun, Venus square Uranus (though my Capricorn Sun and Scorpio Moon do seem to temper this. Similary his Taurus Sun and Scorpio moon do too - or so you would think!).

Interestingly enough this Taurus man spent all of his twenties in 2 long term relationships (with much older women where he played a more passive role) He says he was never unfaithful during that time. When he hit 30 he wanted to experience something very different and for the last 6 years he's been in either short term relationships or 'polamory' (many loves - or 'open relationships') type relationships. He believes that monogamy is an artificially constructed idea that shouldn't automatically be accepted as the 'norm' as it so often is. Although he did meet a woman (again older with two kids) who he would have agreed to be monogamous with a few months ago. She dropped him when he "kinda accidently" had sex with an ex.

Why did his feelings change for this woman? Well, he says that the dynamic of children changes things for him and he did seem to take up the role of father figure to them quite quickly. He also seemed to want to 'rescue' her - a woman who had a bad history of male relationships.

Yes, isn't he full of contradictions!!!

He's a very good talker and he can make it sound like he DOES want a relationship with me but he won't spell it out in terms of anything tangible or monogamous. Just a lot of stuff about spiritual principles of non-attachment (which I agree with too).

I think he might need someone who's able to direct the relationship more and be more assertive - I'm quite passive (until you get to know me) and a little underconfident at times. Or maybe I don't express my needy feelings enough???

He's very honest, loving, affectionate and respectful. I know he feels a deep connection and attraction for me. I entertained the idea when we first got together of being part of his 'open relationships' exploration (with my Scorpio moon that wouldn't be hard, right?) but I found that I got very quickly emotionally attached - moreso than I thought he was with me.

He's been out of the country for a few months and recently got back.

Should I let my romantic attachment for him grow again or not?

Sometimes I think he IS getting more attracted to me the more he knows me. Then other times I think NO, he's just not that into me otherwise he'd be pursuing me more actively. OR is it that he IS INTO me but he needs me to be more of an aggressor!

Maybe he's just scared.....I do tend to undersell myself.....I'm attractive, financially secure and ready for children - which has gotta scare the hell out of some men! Right?

Or are his amorous ways just NOT that compatible with mine?

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH...please help!

Zephyr : )

posted October 22, 2006 06:50 AM              

I have talked with him about my feelings and even last night told him that what we actually WANT is different and that if we moved into a more intimate 'relationship' again one of us would be compromising.

Last night we ended up snuggling together but I didn't let it get sexual or even kiss him (pretty amazing for two Scorpio Moons eh?)
He says he needs to be understood by the person he is in a relationship with (meaning his 'polyamorous' ways). There is a part of me that wants to understand that - I feel his need for acceptance and unconditional love really strongly but if I went into loving him in that way it would still be hard not to have expectations about us ie.that in someway our love for each other was 'special' (which is contrary to how HE thinks about it - in his 'spiritual' kind of way). It seems I am heaps more 'romantic' than him. So, should I even bother?

Hmmmmmmmmmm!

Thanks Gemini Lover 75 - good to hear you are a one woman man. What's your Gemini contingent then? And how does that affect your ability to commit?

posted October 22, 2006 06:55 AM              

I take it your boyfriend is a Gemini?

Sorry to hear about your dog. That's really sad. When my dog died.....I cried for years about it. They really are our best friends.

posted October 22, 2006 07:13 AM              

If you were to ask me what I would do. Itd be to keep the friendship alive and if by chance lifestyles changed there would be the option of trying to reunite in a romantic sense. But anything else would hurt me too much in the end, altho the sex before that and the sharing would keep me hoping.. I dont know why there are times when life always seems to be throwing rocks.

Take care

posted October 22, 2006 01:32 PM            

Anytime there are questions like these and you spend a lot of time agonizing/worrying - take a good look at what this relationship will mean to you in the long run. This man has said openly what monogamus relationships mean (for HIM). You already know that if you get involved with him what it will mean for YOU. There is your answer. Expecting someone to change or waiting for someone to change can only mean pain for you. I don't mean to be harsh, only going by what I'm reading here. Having conjunct moons is great and means you understand each other and there is a comfort level. But, we're talking about your happiness in the long run.

Take care of YOU first.

Don't compromise if that's what you think you will be doing. Let this man walk the talk if he talks a good game, but you said you get the feeling that it wouldn't go anywhere.

posted October 22, 2006 02:26 PM              

Actually, she was asking if he's worth pursuing.

I agree with the above posts, zephyr. He has been honest with you about his views of monogamy, so you should probably just stick with being friends for now. It's too bad that's how it has to be, but at least he was honest with you and you have an opportunity to not get yourself involved in a possibly painful relationship.