|
Author
|
Topic: Wtf? Now what do I do ?
|
illusions_fool
unregistered
|
posted November 06, 2006 08:34 AM
 
I confessed to this guy I like [whose attention I was trying to get just the other day--yeah, I lost my nerve and more or less avoided him all day] and here's what I said.I never seem to be able to catch you while you're actually on, which you probably noticed lol. This really isn't easy to say, even over facebook, I wanted to let you know though, I think you're a really nice guy, the kind of guy that I never thought existed on the face of the earth and I really like you. I know you have a girlfriend and everything and don't want to come between you but I hope we can always be friends at least. I don't know how you'll react to that, but I thought you should know. Have a nice weekend and everything! Hope to talk to you soon!
~Rebekka And.. this is what he said. aw,
well thank you so much!
i appreciate you telling me!
it means a lot.
and yes, of course we can be always be friends!
talk to you later!
peace! And... while it makes me really happy that he reacted to that so well, it kind of breaks my heart because... well he obviously isn't interested ....
Now what do I do ? ~Rebekka
PS: Sorry this topic has absolutely no Astrological relevance. IP: Logged |
Swerve
unregistered
|
posted November 06, 2006 08:49 AM
Nothing if he has a girlfriend. Is this acceptable these days? I've seen your other posts so I know you are a nice person, but you are not the only one with this attitude on the forum lately it seems.If they are with someone then leave 'em alone! The amount of threads we'd have if this started happening to the people here the other way around would be astronomical and never-ending. or am I missing something? Swerve IP: Logged |
Lauren
unregistered
|
posted November 06, 2006 08:50 AM
He has a girlfriend.
He probably likes/loves his girlfriend, otherwise they wouldn’t be together.
He seems faithful to his girlfriend but still wants to stay friends with you.Your email was fine up until you mentioned the girlfriend. You implied you wanted more but are settling for a friendship. This would make any guy, in a relationship, EXTREMLY uncomfortable. The fact that he replied as well as he did is surprising. He was a bit awkward in his reply but nothing like he could’ve been.. Considering your email would’ve put him in an awkward situation, the fact that he still replied the way he did and wants to be friends also, means that he does like you *as a friend*. Also, guys take things VERY VERY literally.. When you say “I wanna stay friends” what they get is: “I wanna stay friends”.. They do NOT get “I wanna stay friends up until, when and if you dump your gf for me” .. That sort of thought requires too much female logic. so.. what do you do now?
You stay friends.. no point trying to break his relationship, bad karma.. why would you want to? IP: Logged |
Swerve
unregistered
|
posted November 06, 2006 08:53 AM
Not sure about that female logic bit there Lauren, I think you underestimate men which seems the norm these days and perfectly acceptable.The rest I totally agree with though. Swerve IP: Logged |
Lauren
unregistered
|
posted November 06, 2006 09:06 AM
Hi Swerve, I think you might’ve taken that the wrong way. I wasn't implying female logic was a good thing. I meant female "logic" sarcastically, because women in general tend to think and re-think and over-think things.. I don’t know if you’ve seen The Break-up? But that’s pretty much what I meant.. A lot of miscommunications seem to happen when the guy gets the ‘straight forward’ message, not whatever was implied by the girl.. because she didn’t call a spade a spade. Like in that movie Jennifer Aniston tries to make him jealous and a million other things, instead of just saying “you don’t appreciate me and it hurts.. that’s why I’m acting this way” IP: Logged |
illusions_fool
unregistered
|
posted November 06, 2006 09:06 AM
I wasn't intending to break them up or anything. That wasn't my plan at all. I just don't know what to do at all. But, it really wouldn't matter if I got anymore bad karma, it seems I have enough bad karma as it is, it can't really get any worse.*depressed*
~Rebekka IP: Logged |
Lauren
unregistered
|
posted November 06, 2006 09:13 AM
awww hold up, don't be depressed.. how old are you? I'm guessing you guys are in your teens. Please don't think this is the end of the world. It won't be, honestly.. He isn't the only guy out there who you'd feel a connection with.I know that's not much consolation now, but try to stay positive, it'll pass  IP: Logged |
Swerve
unregistered
|
posted November 06, 2006 09:24 AM
Yes maybe I did Lauren, sorry about that.Still, I know many guys that would think along those lines. Some are the guys who are always the friend hanging on, others are the cad who wait for the right opportunity to have you. Rebekka - maybe something in you is pulling you towards this situation? Something deeper within that is manifesting itself as a crush on someone who you know is unavailable. We've all been there believe me, just look to yourself for the answers. Swerve Swerve IP: Logged |
cappy
unregistered
|
posted November 06, 2006 09:36 AM
What do you do?You do nothing Illusion's fool. You confessed your feelings and he replied nicely that he is interested in you as a friend. Being a "friend" when you want more is a tight spot to say the least. But I really suggest that you move on and put your interest elsewhere...For all you'll get is pain and the bad karma of breaking up someone from his girlfriend if you get that far...
Hold your chin up... IP: Logged |
LuLu
unregistered
|
posted November 06, 2006 09:41 AM
Swerve...honey...I hope you weren't referring to me with your first statement. Believe me, I was never the type of person before who even gave someone with a girlfriend the time of day and I'm still not. But it can be hard to get out from under when you are in a situation like I was.Maybe you weren't talking to me at all...I think I am just feeling a bit defensive lately. I've been owning up to my actions and trying to atone for them over the past few weeks. It's made me a little fragile.  IP: Logged |
Swerve
unregistered
|
posted November 06, 2006 10:07 AM
No LuLu darling, I wasn't.But now that you mention it.....just kidding! I always find that a person who is truly willing to be open about their mistakes and face the consequences and lessons from the experience grow to be so much more than those who simply preach. More power to you.
Swerve
IP: Logged |
Happy Dragon
unregistered
|
posted November 06, 2006 10:29 AM
~Rebekka~
thought what you said to him be coool ...
his reaction sounds like an 'airy type' .. with or without g.f. ..
in other words .. don't nesc. see it as 'no interest' ..
in some cases that type of reaction could be masking interest ..~Lulu~ .. is it one of these days (see pic .. if it works:-))
i liked your write up about what occured re neptune going direct ..
and the saturn influence .. he got a byte from saturn .. did he not ?? ..
as in .. 'learn yer lessons guy' .. methinks about 'wanting tooooo much ...'
.. *female*&* logic* .. totally and absooloot''ly .. & .. & .. contradictory word'zz ..  ..
'later ..
H§D IP: Logged |
illusions_fool
unregistered
|
posted November 06, 2006 11:25 AM
Lauren,
yeah we're teens. Sort of. Going on 19.Why do the nice girls finish last? Or in my case, not at all ...
My life is a mess...  ~Rebekka IP: Logged |
Mama Mia
Knowflake Posts: 117
From:
Registered: Feb 2010
|
posted November 06, 2006 11:35 AM
If: I would not be upset about this, he is just 1 out of a million men that will come your way..Plus he is taken so you don't want that anyway..Your self confidence is building up and let that happen. Keep moving and don't let this stagnet your progress/process. There is a nice guy for you trust me. You want a guy that is not attached to any other female. Just keep going sweet heart and just bc of this does not make your life a mess, bc at some point we have all been disappointed but we just keep going. I stress that to you.. IP: Logged |
taurean_scorpion
unregistered
|
posted November 06, 2006 12:02 PM
I don't think he meant he's 'not interested'. I mean, he's not able to say something in his position: he has a gf. And you did mention that you 'know' he has a gf but you at least want to stay 'friends'. So that's probably the obvious way of replying to your message, unless he wants to break up with his gf (but he can't tell you that even if he wants to)...Either way, it's awkward to say you like someone when you're taken. Your way of saying you like him was pretty cool and open for anything (which is Good), meaning if he likes you, he knows he can go to you and have a good friend that really admires him. <3 So I may have been unclear, but I really think you still have a chance with this guy.
Forgot to answer your question -Just do what you've been doing all along, be yourself...
p.s. I'm almost 19 too, lol
 IP: Logged |
LuLu
unregistered
|
posted November 06, 2006 12:09 PM
Swerve...thanks  I'm trying to learn all the lessons I can out of this.HD...yes, it is one of those days Loved the pic. Very descriptive and accurate picture. IP: Logged |
illusions_fool
unregistered
|
posted November 06, 2006 03:11 PM
I wanted to mention, this isn't the only reason my life is a mess. The past three months have been a disaster. I had to drop 4 classes because they were pre-med science classes and I would have failed all of them, I'm down to 6 credit hours and I'm struggling to get a D in a math class I'm not even supposed to @*&$ing be in! My precious dog had to be put down because he had a brain tumour, and I can't tell you how much he meant to me. He was 12 years old and we've had him since he was a puppy. Me and my roommate don't get along and she hates my guts. My dad wants to pull me out of this school because we're paying $34,000 for me to fail out!! And I was so happy when I was accepted into this school--I wanted to come here really badly. I couldn't get an on-campus job because at the fair most of the employers left before I could talk to them. Everything that could possibley go wrong, is going wrong. And now this! I can't even tell you how many times I've cried these past 3 months. This is the worst possible way to have started my college experience, and frankly, I don't want to be here anymore!!~Rebekka IP: Logged |
lalalinda
Moderator Posts: 1120
From: nevada
Registered: Apr 2009
|
posted November 06, 2006 03:41 PM
you probably caught him totally off guard
and he did respond with a gracious reply.he got the message sweetie,
now sit back and wait.
have some faith in fate.
if it doesn't happen now, then its not supposed to. I know this sounds silly but
don't rush, sit back and enjoy. like the song says
 and these are the good old days IP: Logged |
Azalaksh
Knowflake Posts: 982
From: New Brighton, MN, USA
Registered: Apr 2009
|
posted November 06, 2006 04:04 PM
Rebekka ~There's some very wise and compassionate souls who've replied here. A slight change in perspective may be just the ticket about now, when it seems like everything's running against you..... tomorrow is a brand new day, full of wonderful possibilities. Happiness is ahead of you on the road, lying in wait to pounce on you when you least expect it!! Be friends with your crush -- it's good practice for losing your nervousness for when you meet that future guy who'll appreciate those over-the-knee stockings and long black coat  lala ~ Carly Simon?? Nice.....  HD ~ Discussion on the merits of your comment may be forthcoming  Zala IP: Logged |
Swerve
unregistered
|
posted November 06, 2006 04:17 PM
Rebekka darling, I would say step back from this situation altogether for your own sake, there are far more important things for you to be focusing on.Perhaps this "crush" is a welcome distraction from the grieving for your dog (I know how much animals can mean to you, more than people sometimes because there is no doubt mixed in with the love). 12 years IS a pretty good innings though and it seems that dog was loved by you to the last. I've also heard the spirits of our pets always walk with us, and I truly believe this. If you don't get on with your room-mate, make steps to move out. This will have an immediate effect on your studies and your life. It could also mean you bump into someone you really get on with. Life might be giving you a kick up the bum and a message to surround yourself with more positive energy but because of your state of mind you may be missing the point and thinking it is life itself that is jumping all over you. Give college every possible effort, find a job if you can, travel to it if you must, get a better room-mate, dedicate yourself to classes as a way of teaching yourself discpline under fire. Use this time to grow stronger. If you still feel that things aren't right - then things aren't right! Try something else. You can always come back to this choice of your own volition another time. Or maybe life has a different path for you to walk. I have a sneaky suspicion there are some things in your life calling out to you, beckoning you towards them as destiny can do. But with all the noise of your emotions clashing into each other you may not be able to hear that message over the din. Consider this, but DO NOT consider anyone else, especially if this is likely to destabilise you any more. I suggest you find a good friend or more that you can lean on and feel "safe" with, as this seems to be what you need most. The fact that someone is attractive to us and of the opposite sex just makes the whole thing seem so much more attractive as a proposition, but is like the mirage of a watering hole in the desert. You need REAL water and real sustenance. Be more careful with yourself, and more selfish (or self-concerned) for the time being. Take shelter from the storm rather than look for someone to do this for you. Funnily enough thats when someone usually steps up out of the blue anyway. Life.....
Swerve x
IP: Logged |
breezey93
unregistered
|
posted November 06, 2006 06:15 PM
Hey Rebekka..you know if i was 19 I would be into a girl like you...now whether you would be into me is a different question..  ------------------
Sun-Can/Merc-Gem
Moon-Sag/Ven-Taur
Asc-Virgo/Mar-Sag
IP: Logged |
Leopricorn
unregistered
|
posted November 06, 2006 07:11 PM
^ Lol. Aw how sweet.Rebekka, just hang in there. You'll make it. Remember to stay positive. About your boy situation... Boys and girls are different. Like Lauren said, they just don't seem to take a hint when you throw one at them. I think what you really wanted out of him was a reciprocal response in terms of feelings. It's probably best to take the friendship for what it is and move on. He seemed more than happy to be your friend. IP: Logged |
teaologist
unregistered
|
posted November 06, 2006 07:52 PM
quote:
Moon in the Twelfth HouseYou must be careful not to be too hasty in responding to a lover, and always think twice before committing yourself outright about any matter. There are many times when it is better to spare your lover's feelings by not rushing in and telling the whole truth, even though you feel you should.
I had the same problem.
Take it easy though---right one will come along, no? IP: Logged |
Lindaland
UBBFriend: Email This Page to Someone! 
