posted November 13, 2006 01:12 AM            

First, where do you expect this to go? Be very honest with yourself.

You're both developing feelings for each other. He said he wants to detach because of what it's doing to his head. He's also discovered that you have other male friends. Asking who they are probably is just curiosity and if it's anyone he knows. How did he find out about these friends? He may or may not know that they are just platonic. You're both young and have a lifetime of other relationships.

Try to approach him as a friend minus the heavy emotions. He might not know how to deal with that aspect of this whole thing.

Did you two have an agreement that you both would be 'involved' only with each other? If so, that could be the reason for his change in attitude, especially if there is a question in his mind that these other guys are/not platonic friends. I would back off entirely and let things cool down. Then try to have a talk with him.

posted November 13, 2006 11:27 AM              

Your friend has Scorpio (transformation, also control) modifying Pluto (transformation, also control) conjunct (energy is combined with) Venus (relationships) focused in the 8th house (transformation, also control) trine Jupiter (expansion) conjunct Ascendant (self), indicating his is VERY controlling in relationships and takes this control VERY personally. If you want to be in a relationship with a controlling person, go ahead. His ""what’s his name?", and "does he go to college?” and is he the same guy that I had previously done stuff with?" approach probably gives you a good idea about what being in a relationship with him will be like.

Out of control,

Tim

posted November 21, 2006 03:39 AM            

I don't think that's controlling. I'd do the same thing and my girlfriend does too.

Yeah...we're both strong Plutonian types.

I also feel that sex without emotional commitment often causes a lot of problems.

posted November 21, 2006 11:02 AM              

You said:

quote:

---

...he treats me like crap...

---

Is this REALLY someone you want to be in a relationship with?

Questioning,

posted November 21, 2006 11:17 AM              

You asked:

quote:

---

How is being curious and asking questions have to do with being controlling?...I'd do the same thing and my girlfriend does too...we're both strong Plutonian types

---

It is not so much the asking questions as the WAY the questions are asked. One defintion of "control" is "dominance: the state that exists when one person or group has power over another". One way to get dominance is to command others to do what you want them to do...but not to allow the other person to command you. So Girl describes:

quote:

---

he asked me all these questions like, "what’s his name?", and "does he go to college?” and is he the same guy that I had previously done stuff with? After he found out he became a bit distant, and in fact (in the same conversation) I had asked him if he was dating anyone and he didn't want to say, and I asked him why and he replied with because he was tired of typing

---

This is typical controlling behavior, force the other person to answer your questions, but refuse to answer any question the other person asks you. It indicates a "power approach" to relationships...with the goal in a relationship being to overpower and control the other by establishing dominance early on. This controlling approach also suggests a need to BE in control...and make the other become OUT of control. Girl goes on to say:

quote:

---

i hate losing control (which in this situation I did), and I hate that even though he has hurt me

---

The dominance is being established: he is "in control" while Girl is not.

One more example of his dominance:

quote:

---

As of yesterday the boy unblocked me, and we had a really good talk...I asked him if he was hooking up with someone else and he replied he wasn't sure...I replied that I didn’t care. But that I was slightly jealous and he said ok...he decided that he didn't really feel like talking to me so he blocked me again

---

HE decides when to block, HE decides when to unblock, HE decides how much to reveal. Again, VERY controlling behavior.

As you know, the challenge with a strong Pluto in your chart is to learn to SHARE control with others: YOU can ask your girlfriend questions and SHE can ask you questions. This lesson on how to share control in relationships he clearly hasn't learned and doesn't seem to want to learn.

Non-controlling,

Tim

posted November 21, 2006 01:37 PM            

I must agree 100%. Astrology aside (because as we know astrology is not "fixed" and people have issues regardless of what asteroid aspects what planet) this guy is a control freak.

It starts with the little things and trust me, there is a difference between slight possessiveness and "shutting someone out" as a punishment.

It starts with his immature actions and ends when he's in a relationship with someone he begins using the "silent" treatment as punishment OR he leaves you at the house, alone because he is angry with you. This is the type of person that chose when a topic can be broached and when it has been decided the point is "moot".

posted November 21, 2006 10:45 PM            

I agree. I read it more carefully. After reading GirlyGirl's additional stuff, my opinion of him being very controlling has increased.

GirlyGirl,

just dump his ass. don't even bother talking to him. He seems like he's manipulating you. There seems to be obsession that you have with him. It's better that you just leave him alone. It's his loss. Not yours.

You can find much better guys.

Honestly, I feel that it's better to have sex with only somebody that you love. The friends with benefits stuff doesn't work in the long run,and it really does lead to heartache.

I am looking over your chart. I will try to come up with a full detailed interpretation.

There are already things that I don't like about the synastry

He has Sun conj Moon in Sagittarius,and that's incompatible with your Sun in Cancer,Moon in Capricorn. His freedom loving Sun-Moon combo is incompatible with your security,stability oriented Sun-Moon combo.

Transiting Mars in Scorpio is conjuncting your Saturn in 5th house, and that indicates frustrations,restrictions,limitations in sexual romantic affairs.

Transiting Saturn is quincunxing your Moon in Capricorn in 7th,and that indicates restrictions,limitations involving your feelings,nurturing in relationships. This mainly feelings of pessimism,restrictions,limitations in relationships that require you to make adjustments. Transiting Saturn is squaring your Venus in Taurus in 11th, and this indicates that restrictions,limitations involving your affections with friends. Venus in Taurus in 11th oppose Saturn in Scorpio in 5th indicates that your sensual love nature in areas of friendship is at odds with sexual struction in romantic affairs. This could be the friends with benefits configuration. The lesson of this configuration is to learn to be truly committed in relationships and set your boundaries in friendships and romance which includes making sure that you separate friends from lovers. This indicate unrequited love involving friends. Your Saturn in 5th sextiles Moon in Capricorn in 7th,and that's good for serious,security-oriented,stable feelings in romantic relationships. Your Mars in Cancer quincunx Uranus indicates emotionally-based actions which conflict with independence,excitement. This can be a very impulsive,unpredictable configuration. This can be another "friendship with benefits configuration" If you don't watch it,it's possible you can do things that you don't want to do because your passions,energy fluctuates considerably to the point that you can suddenly get involved with things in the heat of the moment. Ascendant-Sun-Mars in Cancer indicates potential persona,self expression and actions are merged in emotional,nurturing way. This can also indicate emotionally-based fights with males in your life. This indicates that you can be easily emotionally attached to men. However,your Mars quincunx Uranus can also indicate detachment from men too.Actually. Your Mars is quincunx Jupiter in Aquarius in 8th and Uranus in Sagittarius in 6th. This is a yod. Your actions,physical energy,relationships with men are in extreme strain,tension with your friendly expansion,optimism in sexual matters and unpredictability,independence in daily routine which requires you to make serious adjustments in regards to your actions,assertiveness,and relationships with men.
Your Mercury in Leo in 2nd square Pluto in Scorpio in 5th indicates that self expression communications in areas of security,selfworth are in conflict with intensity,power issues in romance affairs. This also indicates that you could have some selfworth,security issues that are connected to obsession in romantic affairs. This can indicate serious trust issues,secrets,manipulation in romantic relationships with others. Your Neptune is conjunct Descendant,and this indicates that you can have porous personal/relationship boundaries which can lead to confusion with yourself and others. People can deceive you if you are too idealistic. Partners can seem something that they are not,and so can you. There is extreme sensitivity,imagination and it can be used in artistic,creative outlets. The thing with this configuration is that you need to make sure that people don't take advantage of you. You need to say "No". Heck with Mercury square Pluto in 5th, you can say "Hell No!". You need to stick up for yourself,and don't let people manipulate and push you around.

Synastry:
You said something about your Pluto conjunct his Venus. I looked at the synastry. I usually use only 1 degree orb for Pluto aspects because Pluto is highly generational planet.

Your Pluto is conjunct his Venus with 3'34 orb. Well...honestly,I don't think that is a significant aspect. It is a bit wide.
However,his Pluto trines your Ascendant with 38 minutes of arc,and this aspect is within the 1 degree orb range. This aspect indicates that he as the pluto person can easily have a powerful,transformational affect on you. He has Venus-Pluto conjunction in Scorpio trine your Ascendant. This can indicate that his intense love nature can have a strong affect on you. His Venus trine Ascendant can indicate attraction to you too.
His Saturn quincunxes your Sun,and so his structure is in tension,strain with your ego.He can pretty much restrict and limit you,and your ego could suffer. He could straight up depress you. His Saturn contraparallels your Mercury,and he can restrict,limit your communications. His Uranus contraparallels your Sun,Mars,Ascendant and squares your Midheaven which indicates that he is too erratic,unstable for you and that is at the expense of your ego/self expression,physical energy/actions,persona/personality,and your ambitions,goals,unconscious.

This isn't good and what you said reflects the challenges with him.

posted November 22, 2006 12:10 AM            

Pluto conjunct the Descendant in Scorpio indicates that the relationship is very intense,transformational but it can be full of power issues,obsessive,and compulsive.
Mars conjunct Ascendant in Taurus indicates that this is a very active,physical,sensual relationship...and with this conjunction opposing Pluto-Descendant conjunction, this indicates obsessive,compulsive relationship. There could be too much emphasis on sex and not enough on love. There is a possibility of physical abuse in relationship.

Moon-Neptune conjunction in 8th can indicate deep,emotional,mystical feelings in the relationship but it can also indicate emotional addiction in the areas of sex. It sextiles Pluto,and the feelings are intense,transformational,deep. Uranus in Sagittarius in 8th indicates erratic,restlessness in the areas of sex. it This can indicate possible sexual experimentation. Venus trine Uranus in 8th can be unpredictable,exciting love affair,sudden affections in the relationship.

posted November 22, 2006 02:23 AM            

Your relationship seems very unhealthy,and people on here is like....why bother.

I feel that you should just cut him loose and move on

btw...Mercury square Pluto is a good aspect for psychology. It indicates a penetrating mind. That's similar to my Mercury in Scorpio in 3rd.

another thing Solar Arc Sun is squaring your natal Pluto with 2 minutes of arc applying right now,and that indicates intense,transformational experiences as well as obsession,compulsions,extremes in the past 12 months.

His Venus-Pluto conjunction in Scorpio in 8th trine Mars-Ascendant conjunction in Pisces indicates that he is an aggressive,passionate,hard to pin down,evasive,confusing,illusive,sensitive person with a highly intense,sexual,transformational love nature. He can be quite seductive,charming to the point of having the ability to manipulate and fool others with an otherwordly charm,magnetism. Therefore that astrological configuration can be good for being an actor.

His Mars-Jupiter-Ascendant conjunction in Pisces square Sun-Moon-Saturn conjunction in Sagittarius in 9th is far too freedom-loving and can be very judgmental and fight a lot in regards to religious,spiritual,philosophical matters. that's a Sun-Jupiter triple whammy and a Moon-Jupiter double whammy as well as a Saturn-Jupiter triple whammy. Jupiter rules both Sagittarius and 9th house. There is a strong emphasis on expansion. He would have a hard time settling down for he could have feelings of restlessness. There is a chance that he can do a lot of travel later on in his life,and even get involved in a relationship with somebody of a different culture,and his 9th house ruler(Pluto)does conjunct Venus. The saturn stuff indicates that even though he has a strong need for freedom,he might feel too security oriented to go out and travel and wide his horizons and can be rigid in his belief systems. He might be too opinionated and think that he's right and everybody else is wrong. He could be very selfrighteous,judgemental,preachy in an authoritarian,strict type way. His parents might even be religious conservatives I don't think that he is right for you. Another thing is that he might have certain things that he wants to do,but is afraid to do because there is obligations to follow family tradition.

Transiting Uranus was retrograde and squaring his Sun-Moon in Sagittarius in 9th,and that would indicate a lot of instability,unpredictability in his views,beliefs. Transiting Uranus is now direct and squaring his Saturn in Sagittarius in 9th,and that can indicate rigid belief systems being shaken up. His traditional views could end up being changed. There is a lot of nervous tension with hard Uranus transits. There could be a lot of irritability. Uranus squares to planets in 9th house can indicate problems with higher education and teachers. Transiting Neptune is squaring his Mercury in Scorpio in 8th,and that can indicate the mental boundaries are more porous which can lead to high degree of sensitivity,receptivity and increased imagination,visualization but it can also indicate confused,disorganized thinking/communications which can lead to misunderstandings. There is a possibility of deception or not giving you all the facts. He can be more gullible too. It's hard to communicate with others during this transit. Transiting Neptune squaring Mercury in Scorpio in 8th can indicate overactive imagination leading to trust issues,paranoia.This can be a very troubling psychological transit.

Solar Arc Moon is conjunct your natal Jupiter with 29 minutes of arc,and that indicates feelings of expansion,optimism in the past 6 months. There can be a excess,indulgence too.

I wish you luck. There are a lot of other guys that are worthy of you.

Don't let this guy keep on hurting you. Take back your power and kick his ass to the curb.