posted November 15, 2006 06:57 PM              

(my 3rd house is libra cusp, with Pluto in scorpio in 3rd, my AC is virgo with pallas conjunct AC, & i have eros in 1st house along with the name asteroids called sara & mary.

posted November 15, 2006 07:04 PM            

Sometimes a person has to just let go and realize - there is no such thing as perfect.

posted November 15, 2006 07:22 PM            

A good example from my life was while I was working for a mortgage lender. When I worked as someone putting the paper files into perfect order for corporate (and for later selling), I was slower than just about everyone (perhaps because I actually made them perfect). However, when I was in 'Docs' doing data entry I was faster than most, because I not only type fast, but I can also remember the pertinent information that needs to be entered a few times during that process. The person training me was astounded that I could remember those things.

posted November 15, 2006 07:25 PM            

Do you find that if you start a piece of work (a neat copy), that if you smudge it or make a tiny mistake, you have to start all over again. That's just one example I can think of.

posted November 15, 2006 07:50 PM            

morbid perfectionism
sacrifices every line
widdles down to nothing
just trying to make it fine

so now I rush to judgement
noticing the time
and, quick, just say the worst
thing that comes to mind

dont know what to think
my mind gets in the way
if you know how i feel
please, tell me what to say

------------------
'Would you know your Lord's meaning in this thing? Know it well. Love was his meaning. Who showed it to you? Love. What did he show you? Love. Why did he show it? For love. Keep yourself therein and you shall know and understand more in the same. But you shall never know nor understand any other thing, forever.'
- Julian of Norwich

http://i50.photobucket.com/albums/f309/Alem7/chart1.gif

posted November 16, 2006 12:04 PM            

Neptune,

I was not talking about a "person's" appearance per se, but that happens as well. Perfecting ones enviornment can also become a frustrating cycle. In education, perfectionism leads one to become the perpetual student, always trying to take on more, be the best and get the best grades. There is never time to learn everything so the person gets lost in the details.

My ex-husband is a Virgo and he would take forever making decisions and on projects. He was a skilled dentist before he went into forensics- yet he was not a total perfectionist. His perfectionism served him well in processing crime scenes and cases.

The other side of the coin is the student that can't accept that others are smarter or better than them. I attended the uni with a woman like that. She could not deal with the fact that we had people in our lab that could process DNA a hell of a lot more effeciently than her. Because she could not be the best, she sabotage the other students by ruining our reagents.

posted November 16, 2006 12:51 PM            

For me perfectionism has to do with me compensating for my Dyslexia,Dyspraxia. Using my strengths to make up for my weaknesses so I don't seem stupid to other people. I compensate every single day of my life in daily functioning. I do my best to not make mistakes. It's when I am stressed,I make mistakes. I take my time when I say and do things to avoid making errors. I tend to think things thoroughly before I say and do stuff. If I don't,I can make a whole bunch of language and performance mistakes. Then I would feel embarassed and stupid. That would motivate me to try harder to minimize my mistakes. Sometimes the stress of that can lead to make mistakes. It can be a vicious cycle.

BTW..I type slow and use backspace a lot when I type. I really sucked when I was on typewriters where I couldn't backspace and erase information like I can on computer.

example:

Frontal executive function: the frontal lobes of the brain are involved with working memory,expressive language,some aspects of attention,mental flexibility and planning,and motor control.

Digit span,a test that requires verbal working memory was in the average range. Simple attention as assessed by Mental Control,was in the high average range. Low average range on Digit Symbol,a task dependent on short term memory,mental flexibility,and psychomotor speed. low average in both part A and part B of Trailmaking.

according to my neuropsychological report.

It said that I thought be assured that I have learned to cope with my childhood learning problem and should feel confident about my
ability to think through problems outside of the speeded academic settings where I have experienced failures. The statement is not intended to convey that I do not continue to experience these difficulties,but that I have learned effective ways to cope with them when I am not stressed.

All that's true. When I am stressed,I lose my compensation and all weaknesses are apparent. I can look really stupid to others. That adversely affects my self esteem.

posted November 16, 2006 01:15 PM            

page 47 to 49 from

A SOLUTION TO THE RIDDLE OF DYSLEXIA(The DISCOVERY OF
CEREBELLAR-VESTIBULAR SYNDROMES by Harold N. Levinson, MD

Paradoxically, some dyslexics were found to demonstrate highly
organized, crystal-clear thinking and expressive styles. Upon
analysis, many of these individuals were found to have had subtle and
compensated speech impediments during their early childhood. In
retrospect, their highly condensed speech patterns appeared to be
defensive or adaptive attempts at minimizing speech output and
thinking errors. Although these dyslexics were often incapable of
spontaneous free-associative and reflective speech, they were more
than capable of performing these same very same functions in silence.
For example, when asked to freely think aloud about a question, they
could not or would not. But they could, and would,invariably produce
the answer after a silent pause----clearly demonstrating their highly
developed, silent associative and reflective thinking capacities.
Following recognition and resolution of their guarded or defensive
speech mechanisms, many learned to think aloud and to express
themselves without embarassed or fear of criticism. Later adult
stories not only confirmed these observations but revealed the
existence of dyslexics who were capable of free association and
reflection only when writing. Their fluent and lucid writing styles
appeared to be motivated similarly by dyslexic verbalization
difficulties which were compensated for by gifted and/or unhampered
writing functions.

That's true in my case.

My typing skills,my writing skills compensation is the same type of compensation as my speech skills compensation.

posted November 16, 2006 05:16 PM            

I was hated by a few people like that in high school when I rebelled and wagged most of my classes, didn't read the books and still out scored them on tests. I can't believe she actually sabotaged peoples work though thats too much!
My sister is a perfectionist when it comes to housework, everything is always spotless altho she and her fiance work hellish hours. She was the same at school but didn't have the natural apptitude for it, so she worked doggedly and came out all right in the end.

posted November 16, 2006 05:41 PM              

HSC...very nice poem, i have realized that working to make things right all the time may either hurt you more or make things worse.

Thanks everyone for the underrstanding.

posted November 16, 2006 06:28 PM            

I have to admit, on some scale I speak from experience. My Virgo Ascendant combined with a tight Pluto in Virgo Conjunction pushes me to want to be a neat freak. I have been forced to relax a bit, but only due to circumstances beyond my control - in my case, the house I live in has VERY limited storage and closet space.

When I lived in Maryland I could indulge my need for order and I had my clothes arranged in my closet (I still do but in a squished way) by style (shirts, skirts, slacks, dresses and blazers) and color - lightest to darkest. I had two separate closets: One for casual wear and one for business / dressy clothes. I also had my many pairs of shoes arranged so that they lined up pointing towards me in two rows LOL..

I changed out my clothes based on the seasons and wrote down everything I wore by day (down to the accessories).

All of my books are usually in neat order, title of the book going down and by size. If I see that one book is out of place I'll want to put it back properly LOL...

I won't swell on it, but I will notice it- just like I notice when things are not in a fluid order- pictures need to be straight, towels on the bathroom need to be hung properly and I HATE seeing things that are empty- like soap dispensers- so I like to keep them filled LOL.. OMG, I sound goofy..

BUT.. I am also sloppy on certain things. Since I don't have a lot of closet space, I tend to fold my clothes and keep them on the guest bed in the other room. I also tend to leave my coffee cups and water bottles around various parts of my house LOL - until I get home, then I put them away.

I have to have a clean house- which means a massive cleaning once a week and spot cleaning 2-3 times a week.

Luckily, my husband ALSO has a Virgo Ascendant / Venus so he loves to help out. Can you imagine my happiness when I came home from work one day and not only were the dishes done, he did our laundry, folded it up and ALSO braved cleaning the litter box (another thing I clean out everyday).

posted November 16, 2006 06:54 PM            

I alphabetise my dvd and cd collection. Haven't gotten around to doing my books yet since I moved (nearly 2 years ago, lol) cos I have so many, but all books by the same authors are together.
Clothes I keep organised by season and type too and my linen cupboard is the envy of all my friends. I actually have a friend who'll wait for me to come over to fold her laundry so I'll fold her linen. So funny.

BUT-
Cds and Dvds tend to lay around in weird places til I put them away and my neatly folded clean washing is usually not put away til its been worn and washed again at least once. I've forgotten what colour my coffee table is cos its always covered with books and papers. I clear them every few days but they're replaced just as quickly.