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Azalaksh
Knowflake

Posts: 982
From: New Brighton, MN, USA
Registered: Apr 2009

posted November 19, 2006 05:58 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Azalaksh     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
sunshine ~

Either I've been missing you at the forum or you've been coy but you wrote in the Scorpio New Moon thread that you were about to let go of an unhealthy relationship. Are you leaving the Scorpio?? Or have things gone downhill with the Pisces??

Enquiring minds need to know!! I tried bumping your original thread in SU, but you didn't bite..... http://www.linda-goodman.com/ubb/Forum10/HTML/001419.html

Zala

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sunshine9
Knowflake

Posts: 107
From: Chapel Hill, NC, US
Registered: Apr 2009

posted November 20, 2006 12:15 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for sunshine9     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Dear 'zala,

Oh, you're SO sweet!! I'd been away a while, so I missed your posts in that thread on SU! How are you doing these days? Update me on what's happening in your life!!

SO much has happened in mine in the past few months! Last year, I ran into a few obstacles that made it harder to leave the marriage (with the Scorpio). Any attempts I made to leave him back-fired in one way or the other. I had to put my grad. studies on hold due to some issues with my advisor, and my job hunt wasn't going well either; it was like everything in my life decided to stop working at the same time. I was in the thick of my Saturn Return, and boy did I feel it!! It was a really low period for me. I'm still just coming out of it all...

A few months back, things finally changed for the better. I got me a job back in NC, and moved here in August, and decided to work on finishing up my degree as well! Being financially independent is SUCH a relief; I don't owe the Scorpio anything any more. It has also changed my outlook. I see him for who he is, a guy who is incapable of love and of caring for anyone but himself, who had been trying to guilt me into staying with him all this time; he's played many mind games & is expert at emotional blackmail. Those weren't the real reasons I had felt guilty/torn about leaving though - I had all this self-imposed guilt about hurting him & his parents, and my parents in the process of following my heart... I think it is my Venus in Pisces that contributes to it in a big way, and certain other natal placements. I have Neptune on my Ascendant, which tends to cloud things...

Anyhow, this period since I've moved out (about 3 months now), has been eye-opening for me. I've had the chance to do some soul-searching, and I see him & his family for who/what they are. I also see so much more clearly what it is that I would like for my life, outside of everyone else. I would like to be free to be ME, and to follow my dreams, without having to tiptoe around someone else who's constantly feeling threatened by it, or trying to pull me down. My parents & friends have been very supportive of me, and it has helped so much to know they'll stand by me no matter what.

I'm going to get the legal process started next month. I'm hoping it won't be very complicated as we don't own anything together. I'm also hoping that the stars will work with me this time. I can't wait to end this chapter in my life, so I can get MySelf back!!

As for the Pisces, I still love him with every fiber of my being... I've not been in touch with him much though, but for the occasional email to touch base. It has hurt a great deal to keep away from him, but I think it was the right thing to do, until I'm unencumbered. I saw him in July when we had a meeting together, and though we talked about nothing in particular (but work), the sparks were very much there between us. And now I live in the same town, and by a twist of Fate?!, a scant 5 miles from where he lives!

It might be a challenge getting him back, because his Neptunian nature and the fact that he was hurt deeply before, makes him hold back; I see that in his emails, though in person, it is obvious he still cares. I'm going to have to do the work initially, trying to get us to reconnect, which is going to be hard for me (never having done it before). But, I think I will be ready, once I have at least the first step of the legal process under way.

Wish me luck!!
Sunshine

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