posted December 13, 2006 09:35 PM              

Could someone please look at my chart (the first one) and his (the second) and maybe give me some clues to what's going on and how things can be sorted out?

Let me know if anyone thinks posting a composite or Davison chart is a good idea.

Thank you!

posted December 14, 2006 03:55 AM            

As for the things that you and others have said, ditto. As well as a nice chiron-jup conj. I also notice near misses on sun-moon midpoint for him but squ of his sun to your NN - good.

posted December 14, 2006 05:17 AM            

Well the opp applies then. He is the gem with aries rising and would seem to be carrying on in thin air to you without any practical results.

posted December 14, 2006 08:01 AM              

Your Jup and his Uranus:
This combination promotes creativity and originality.

His Neptune and your NN:
This contact may indicate a long lasting romantic relationship if confirmed by other combinations. Otherwise it may indicate that the North Node person "flees away" if (s)he feels boxed in. If Saturn is involved, there is sorrow and illness and this combo should be avoided in compatibility love horoscopes.

Ascendant and Ascendant
In compatibility love horoscopes this combination signifies that both partners have met in the same social situation (at a meeting, when shopping, or as co-workers, etc...)

posted December 14, 2006 11:00 AM              

One difference is you have Saturn (duty, also authority) focused in your 7th house (relationships), and he has Jupiter (expansion) focused near the 7th house. This indicates you could be the "serious, responsible" one in the relationship and want him to also share a sense of responsibility. While he could be the "expansive, playing, partying" one always trying to open up to new possibilities in the relationship. You see relationships very differently, the challenge is to understand that relationships are not all about duty and responsibility and for him to understand that relationships are not a party all the time. Each of you has the relationship lesson for the other...together you can get a balanced approach to your relating issues.

Expansively structured,

Tim

posted December 14, 2006 11:13 AM            

I was wondering if you could tell me if there is ANY chance at ALL for this relationship to survive (my bf and I). Because it seems to all be going downhill and a part of me seriously doesnt want to and a part thinks its inevitable. I know everyone tells me its ok in the end and i will probably find someone better (i dont deny that) but I dont want any of that. Just want this one person. I know we have a lot of negative aspects and stuff but is there anything strong enough to help?

Me: june 8, 1987 at 3:59 pm in Kiev, Ukraine
Him: May 25, 1986 at 11:59 in Dhaka, Bangladesh

posted December 14, 2006 05:57 PM              

YOU want HIM...but does HE want YOU. Unless BOTH people in the relationship work on their issues...the relationship will not work. You have a least aspected (strong energy) Taurus (physical) modifying your Venus (relationships) focused in the 8th house (transformation, also power), so you want to have POWER over your relationship, but you may not be aware of this (since your Venus energy has a challenge in "connecting in" to your chart). Perhaps the time has come to have "the talk" where you sit down with your boyfriend and talk about where the relationship is going. If he doesn't see it going anywhere...it won't.

Non-controllingly,

posted December 14, 2006 11:04 PM              

And yes, I am stunned myself that his Gemini/Aries self has been around for a year and a half now... it surprises me that although we're arguing lately, he still looks to the future and he informed me last week that I will be "stuck with him" [for a long time]... Ok, so that is good... but the question is do I want to be stuck with someone who I am always arguing with? I love him but I would really like to be able to work on the things that make our life somewhat bumpy at times. But here is another problem... I am a compromiser all the way, which is a good thing considering his Libra DC - but it is the Aries ASC that finds it difficult for him to compromise in return. Or if he does compromise I'm never sure whether he sees WHY the compromise is beneficial or if he just sees it as me being a big meanie and telling him what to do. Cos he's implied that sometimes. Yes I tend to be bossy... eg we worked together today, with another person, and it was my area of expertise... so I don't think he liked it too much when I took charge. But it was work and he was charging ahead like a typical Aries ascendant and he got it all wrong and had to go back and correct his mistakes... we don't usually work together and I think that's a good thing.

So. We are both committed to being with each other, BUT like I said, I don't want it to be constant work on my behalf. How do you get a headstrong Aries-influenced person to happily compromise more often? Sometimes it seems like I have to give him a serious ultimatum before he changes his attitude to anything. I don't want to be in that position when I would like him to just be more considerate in the first place.

I guess I know what the actual problems between us are. Firstly like it was mentioned, we are just very different people in many ways. But obviously similar in other ways or we wouldn't have been interested in each other. So I'm concerned with bridging the differences in a way that's satisfactory to both of us.

For example: He can be emotionally detached, but I am not. And although I know that he loves me, sometimes that's not enough and I'm dying for him to say "I love you". I am also more physical and inclined to closeness, but he's not typically affectionate and likes his physical space... eg I know that he never even liked his previous girlfriends to sleep near him. By all accounts he's way more relaxed with me than he has been with anyone else. But I would like to know how to be able to get him to relax even more, be more emotionally open, and being that he doesn't place a high importance on sex, I would actually like more of it and this is quite an issue for me. This has probably been the worst issue because I know that pressuring him about it won't work. I'm at a loss on how to interest someone in sex, who's more interested in intellectual pursuits and has always been that way. I end up frustrated and feeling resentful and then that tends to spill over into other areas of the relationship. Maybe I should just detach from sex a bit more too, and get more interested in other things... and then I won't be so mad if he's not showing much interest?

Something I worry about with him is that I know he fears things. Like failure. Or trying anything that puts him at certain types of risk... maybe emotional risk is one of those things. He does physically risky things that he's confident about, but he doesn't like setting himself up for failure of any kind. I feel like it holds him back in life. So if there is way to help him with that without seeming overbearing then I would love to know how!

If anyone can see an answer to these things in our individual charts then I would so appreciate it!

posted December 15, 2006 03:32 PM              

Him: Gemini sun, Aries asc and moon, Mars in Aquarius
Me: Taurus sun, Sag asc, Scorpio moon, Mars in Pisces.

Quite different needs, huh. I think the part that bothers me moreso than the needs of these water placements, is the needs of my ascendant in relation to this. I like my sex life to be spontaneous, adventurous and fun (probably also to do with my sun in the 5th house and my asc is Leo decan)... but he seems way more reserved. Could be that now it's a year and a half later, I'm not a challenge anymore... so how do I change this? Not that sex was ever top of the agenda with him... it's like he'd rather focus on some abstract notion of 'partnership' - the "I am with you, you are with me, we do things together and I feel intimate with you" idea, which is nice in itself and I think that's a Gemini thing, but I like to see more 'action' than 'abstraction'... if you see what I mean.

I know that his Gemini, Aries and Aquarius placements will tend him towards getting bored and losing interest... but he has never been a highly sexual person in the first place!

posted December 15, 2006 03:44 PM              

Trines
His sun (2nd house) trine my Uranus (11th house)
His moon trine my Neptune (12th house)
His mercury (2nd house) trine my Uranus (11th house)
His venus (2nd) trine my Pluto (10th)
His mars (10th) trine my Venus (6th)
His Uranus (6th) trine my Venus (6th)
His Neptune (8) trine my Jupiter (4)
His Saturn (2) trine my Pluto (10)
His ascendant trine my ascendant

3 Venus trines, 3 Uranus trines, 2 Neptune trines, 2 Pluto trines, 1 Jupiter trine, 1 sun, 1 moon, 1 mercury, 1 saturn.

Sextiles
His moon (12th) sextile my Venus (6th)
His Venus (2nd) sextile my Jupiter (4th)
His Uranus (6th) sextile my Neptune (12th)

2 Venus sextiles, 1 Jupiter, 1 Uranus, 1 Neptune, 1 Moon.

Conjunctions
His Moon (12th house) conjunct my Jupiter (4th)
His Mercury (2nd) conjunct my Venus (6th)
His Venus (2nd) conjunct my Venus (6th)
His Uranus (6) conjunct my Pluto (10)
His Ascendant conjunct my sun (5) - this one is 7 degrees, so quite wide.

posted December 15, 2006 06:14 PM              

Without a complete synastry chart with a list of orbs I am unable to tell which of these aspects is relevant. So I will continue to look at your separate charts.

You have a strong focus on the bottom right of your chart, indicating that you use your inner awareness as a way to build relationships with others. He, on the other hand, has a strong focus on the bottom left of his chart, indicating that he uses his self-awareness to develop his inner world. So you are pushing to relate out, while he tends to turn inward...this can be one major difference between the way you each respond to the world.

He has a strong focus in the 2nd house (physical, also personal values), so he tends to see the world as something "physical" and his personal values as being VERY important. When he wants to do something, he does it. When he DOESN'T want to do something, he won't. Trying to get him to change his values once he has "set his head" could become VERY frustrating (as you already know! ).

You have (as you mentioned) Sun (self-expression, also dating) focused in the 5th hose (self-expression, also dating) so you tend to "go with" the dating energy. He has Pluto (transformation, also control) focused in the 5th house (self-expression, also dating) so when he expresses himself or dates someone he has to be "in control" somehow. The challenge for him is to SHARE control...a lesson it seems he has not learned yet.

You have Scorpio (transrformation, also control) modifying your Moon (home, also emotions), so you may tend to be emotionally controlling in some way, or "feel" the need to be in control. Similarly, the challenge is to SHARE control.

Since he has Uranus (friends) trine (energy goes easily with) Venus (relationships), he may want to be "friends" in a relationship: close but not TOO close.

Relating,

Tim

posted December 15, 2006 07:06 PM              

I wonder if all this means, bluntly put, that he is selfish and always will be and maybe I should just give up. But we have such good times together and we love each other! We broke up once last year, for 2 or 3 days but we were both so upset... his mother told me he was upset and that he loved me and wanted to get back together... I told her the same, so he called me that night and we got back together the next day. And I know if we broke up again (although I don't see any glaring reason to at this point), the same thing would happen - we'd just miss each other and get back together. I don't know why but we just seem to know that there is something lasting between us despite any problems. Makes it difficult for me because I am a problem-solver, he is a problem-ignorer!

Composite on it's way...

posted December 15, 2006 07:14 PM              

I have terrible trouble with our Mars conj. AC in the first house (T-square). It's ALWAYS me. I can't control myself from arguing in public...

posted December 16, 2006 03:49 AM              

Here's the synastry. Looks like it kind of sucks too. Pluto conj. Uranus, Saturn square Uranus... can these actually be dealt with or is it impossible???