posted December 29, 2006 08:33 AM            

Ironically she was also a dental assistant!

Her parents had huge objections to her partner which I could never understand as he is one of my oldest and dearest friends and one of the best people I know even if he isn't exactly traditional. They also tried to set her up with another man and after causing them a huge fight and break up it worked but six months later they were back together.

Unfortunately they could never put their love back together properly as he felt he could never trust her again although she had done nothing wrong. He's a scorpio and kinda possessive and intense.

Fight for your love, or elope! I never thought here in australia we'd come across such things and this family was as australian as you can get. Don't let religion, backgrounds, etc get in the way cos it'll always be something.

Ignore them all or keep the peace, as long as you are happy.

posted December 29, 2006 09:05 AM              

I was interested to read this thread, as I've not come across this type of dilemma in my world, though it's true parents have some say in marriages and partners here in NZ, it's usual people make their own choices without any parental guidances or opinions taken into account. btw, I don't think your problem is silly, marriage is important, believe me, I wish I listened to my mothers opinion when I married my ex husband (read--bad choice)

I'm not great with charts either, however, man B should be a great communicator (I also have Mercury in Gem-and could talk under wet cement) their Cancer suns will be sympathetic to yours, and probably respect the women in their lives. All the Cancer sun men I know, LOVE their mothers.

I wish you happiness and goood luck, choose the one you truly love, and feel ECSTATIC with, if he makes you feel like you are in heaven when you are with him, if he respects and honours you and your parents/family, and if he genuinely wants the best for you both. Thats my opinion, my mother says it's best to be with someone with similar background, intelligence, wants and needs, then there is not too many surprises that can undermine a relationship.

However, I married someone from similar to me and it didn't work, and we divorced, now I'm in love with someone who speaks English as a third language, from a whole different culture and country and we see eye to eye on everything....and if we don't, he can usually help me to understand his point, yet still accept and respect mine.

gah, I've rambled and said nothing here, I'm sure one of the more knowledgeable knowflakes can be more informative.

Blessings for the New Year and good luck with your quest.

posted December 29, 2006 09:36 AM              

God I can't stand parents like that.

My mom always told me growing up:

"I don't care who you marry, what color their skin is, or what their religion is. As long as they treat you well."

I can understand where you are coming from though. My best friend is a Muslim and ran away from home when her parents wouldn't accept her boyfriend.

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posted December 29, 2006 10:15 AM            

quote:

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Cancer suns will be sympathetic to yours, and probably respect the women in their lives. All the Cancer sun men I know, LOVE their mothers.

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Just wanted to point out to you that it really depends on the relationship a cancerian has with mother. Meaning, that will determine whether they really respect women or not.

Anyways back to poster,

posted December 29, 2006 11:05 AM              

quote:

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gotta make my grandfather some breakfast. BBL

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How sweet!

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posted December 29, 2006 11:14 AM              

I agree with Sweet

We should marry who we wish.....

Any parent who tries to control their offspring's destiny doesnt know the meaning of true love....

LOve is about letting go and not holding on!!!

Any parent who disowns their child because they are strong enough to make their own choices should be ashamed of themselves.

I am a mother....my son will marry who he wants, whether it be man, woman, black, yellow, white....

If I dont like her/him,,,,that is MY problem. If he loves and he is loved back.....that is all that matters.

Some people need to go back to school.....take a good look at themselves and apologise to their children

posted December 29, 2006 12:03 PM            

Am I glad that my culture is a little more lax on this now. Although its still there...to an extent. That is, having your parents approve of your future spouse. I also come from a third world country...and with heavy Portuguese influence at that. Its very conservative and I imagine its the same with Middle Eastern Culture too. I hope you see the light at the end of this tunnel in your situation. I just hope you don't end up with the wrong guy.

posted December 29, 2006 12:45 PM              

Thank you so much in advance for any insight you might have!

posted December 29, 2006 12:50 PM              

I understand where you are coming from. When my mother was alive she too was very concerned what others thought. I never got this either....

And since she passed over, I am more determined to allow our son free will...for him to have what I never had.....acceptance..

I will send you prayers and luck, will pray your parents have the wisdom to "see" and feel love in its purest form.

Bless you

posted December 29, 2006 01:13 PM              

Since both of you love each other why should such divisions of caste/religion should come in between. Also its just not you who is getting affected by what you decide to do, its also your boyfriend who would get affected. What are his expectations-n-all..If he loves you, I guess you should stick with him. Also involving a third person (your colleague) into such a situation just due to home pressure is also going to have impact on your colleague. Would he be happy to know that you love someone else and marry him just due family pressure?

Also by bulging under the pressure of parents/society you will always be a weak person. Its your own private life not parents or societies. Issue in developing countries is people are not independent to take their own decisions that others have to take decisions for them (right/wrong). Which is kind of a negative as the person has to always dependent on others for decisions. There is a difference between giving one's views and forcing them on someone. You got a job for managing your own living so you are not dependent on your family for a living.

I think your decision depends on how open minded you are, how much you love him, how much troubles are going to go through for making it happen. I think if its love, it can conquer any obstacle (even the astrological incompatibilities).

I guess being a Pisces, mostly likely you won't leave him just due to pressure. Hope your boyfriend is also on the same page, without that its like you being a martyr for no cause.
Also I understand that in developing countries how females are treated and the huge expectations from them as compared to the male counterparts (Which makes much more difficult). That being said you don't want the situation to remain as it is now.

Also during such situations both of you have to be very careful on your interactions (what you say n all) with your boyfriend. As both your minds would be clouded with all kinds of thoughts that both of you might say something which they never wanted to, causing hurt and any reasons for breakup.

If possible go on a vaccation (of course away from your parents and maybe boyfriend) to just relieve yourself from the stress. Spend time with your friends.

posted December 29, 2006 01:40 PM              

NOW - both of us are a little older and understand why parents do that - not that it's right or wrong - but either way, you have to be sure of your own decision and not let them see, know or think that you doubt your decision to be with this man. BOTH of you have to be strong in your opinion - did you tell your fiance that your parents were trying to hook you up with your co-worker and did you ever look with interest to that man and are you now that the idea passes your mind?

be strong in your decision for you, for your husband, and for your future because marriage doesn't necessarily make everything easier - there can be times when you may think you should have chosen the other way.

NOW - the reason why i said you have to be strong in your decision - i've mentioned above but above all else, you have to decide in your life, going from single woman to married woman - how much your parents are going to influence your life. technically, once married, you and your husband - as a couple, influence your parents and they realize that. some people, you give them an inch, they take a mile. if you go with your parents decision to date someone else, you will continue to go with everything your parents say IF you do it for them before yourself, then they will think you are not strong enough to think on your own.

as for your fiance - you two should really talk about everything that is of importance between two people like the concerns your parents have (get a general idea of what their concerns are) and set upon a common road for the both of you. that way you will be strong in your union.

posted December 29, 2006 01:48 PM              

(Considered only Venus/Mars/Sun/Moon - For your colleague since time is not known the moon afflictions can't be plotted):

UK BF planets affecting yours
Venus Trine Mars
Moon Opposes Mars
Venus Squares Sun

Colleague planets affecting yours
Venus Trines Sun
Venus Square Mars
Saturn Opposes Venus
Uranus Square Venus

posted December 29, 2006 01:53 PM            

You and the first man are both water sun/ fire moon combo. That can be good, as long you guys stay grounded. The water-fire combo is almost like a moving boat with no oars IMO. But that and coupled with the fact that your suns are trine and your moons are trine, may be why you find you have much in common.

Your sun also falls in his seventh house which is a very good thing for compatibility and long term relationships like marraige. You both will usually be able to find a common ground during disputes and such.

Your venus also falls in his 5th house which indicates to me that relationship is definitely based on love and romantic attraction....Ooooolala! His venus also falls in your fifth...can we say double whammy?

I also noticed that there is a grand trine in water between your suns and her Jupiter. Sun-Jupiter aspects are very nice to have in synastry

The communication doesn't look too bad, with the exception of your saturn squaring his mercury. Make sure he doesn't feel like he has to stifle anything he has to say around you.

Then there's moon opposite saturn (your saturn) which is hard but Its binding and there is probably alot of emotional attachment...especially on the part of the moon person. Saturn should let down his guard around the moon person because the moon person may not readily show its "needs" or emotions around the saturn person becuase of what they percieve the saturn person's reaction may be.

I do see some other aspects that create tension like Sun square mars but with the house overlay that I showed you, it shouldn't really be a source of contention.

With the other man, I see some good aspects like the grand trine again, between your suns and your Jupiter. There's also suntrine venus for atraction. He is an air mooner though which is alot more rational but less passionate than your fire moon. But there's that unpredictible venus square uranus and then there's venus opposite saturn which indicates the "arranged" element in the association...saturn about duty, and venus is about relationships.(your the venus person BTW) There's not much for communication....only two aspects involving mercury. One is merc opposite neptune which can muddy things up abit...make things really unclear. Merc square jupiter is not so bad though....its just that sometimes the convos go nowhere..lol.

That's all for now, in the end...go with the one you luvvvv

posted December 29, 2006 03:13 PM              

villy:
"Also its just not you who is getting affected by what you decide to do, its also your boyfriend who would get affected. What are his expectations-n-all..If he loves you, I guess you should stick with him."

of course I know that my bf is affected in all this, and I care about him more than I care about myself. It saddens me because he comes from such an openminded family, he can marry whoever he wants, I feel that I am complicating his life. He loves me so much and he shows it everyday. I have never ever doubted him, I just hope that all the pressure does not make him give up. He promised he would go all the way for me, and I believe him.

"Also by bulging under the pressure of parents/society you will always be a weak person."
You are so right. I have always been this weak person you talk about even though I am 24 years old and am a university graduate. I don't want to be that person anymore.

"I guess being a Pisces, mostly likely you won't leave him just due to pressure. Hope your boyfriend is also on the same page, without that its like you being a martyr for no cause. "
Definitely a Pisces. Martyr all the way. And he is on the same page thank God. He is a Cancer so we are both water signs and understand eachother very well.

posted December 29, 2006 03:32 PM              

I blame my need for approval to be a contributing factor to my marriage breakups..tried to do what mammy and daddy did...married with house and all nice and settled etc etc...

The best feeling in the world was to "live in sin" as my mother put it, with TWO men....especially as one was younger than me.....BLISS.......

REBEL.....if you need to.....it is healthy and a life saver...I still am doing a little....it feels good and very very liberating!!!!!!!

posted December 29, 2006 03:37 PM              

My nick katipo is/was NZ's only poisonous spider, (though it's changing now aussie creepies are getting in the country) I thought it apt, this being the web and crawling around it all the time, as I do. (though I'm not poisonous, I don't think)

posted December 29, 2006 03:45 PM              

Ohhh, when things are going well there is something surreal about our relationship, it can be pure bliss! But rarely it can be a nightmare when my lunar leo and his lunar aries come out in a fight. Still this never lasts long ( his moon aries quickly forgets he is angry) and even at our worst we still 'get'eachother, more than with any of my ex's and even my girl friends. HE is my best friend and I love that about us.

"Your sun also falls in his seventh house which is a very good thing for compatibility and long term relationships like marriage."

oooooohhh sounds promising!! thanks!!