posted January 01, 2007 03:10 PM            

Astrology 1st-7th: 2007 Preview

ABYSSAL EPISTLES

The Astrology of Baron Samadhi von Coppockalypse, PHD

Volume 72: 2007 Preview

Oh…there's so much to discuss. 2007 should prove to be an exciting year, with several major changes occurring. This looks to be a year of transition out of the order and chaos that has held sway for several years. Seeds planted years ago will bloom, and those that have enjoyed their season in the sun will whither from the vine. Pondering the planetary action of 2007 in advance, it seems to be a gateway into the transitions that will enivitably take place as we assess the consequences of our so called "post 911 world." The second half our decade will see an annual transition of what astrologers term the "outer planets." Dwarf planet Pluto shifts his dark throne to the ample matter of Capricorn in early '08, lightning-clad Uranus moves into restless Aries in '09, and Neptune comes home to Pisces in 2010, for the first time in 145 years. Though the extended implications of these changes in planetary positions can only be told by history (or a much, much longer essay), the quick sequence of their shifts alone is informative. 2007 will walk us to the on-ramp for the coming years of change. It is time to take stock of our position, in a larger sense, and to look beyond the editing of the near future into the corridor of political and cultural mutations we'll be traveling down.

2007 Highlights

Now, from the perspective of the present, let us survey the most important changes that will happen to the latticework of energies supporting 2007.

Jupiter: Nerds, Trangression, and Internet Celebrities

The first has already occurred. Jupiter's movement from Scorpio and into Sagittarius, which occurred over a month ago, is a rather important vertebrae in 2007's backbone. Jupiter, ruling abundance, enthusiasm, growth, teaching and publishing is a strong place in Sagittarius, casting a favorable grow light on these areas. Jupiter extends its beneficial light to Pisces, where Uranus has been since 2004. The cultural and medical innovations Uranus in Pisces has been inventing will be sent marching into the field under the banner of powerful Jupiter in Sagittarius this year before coming into question by Saturn's movement into Virgo in late August. Though Uranus in Pisces produces genre-bending and field spanning works of genius, it also produces insane ramblings and misguided ideas based on projected emotional issues. Take the time to sort through the material you encounter, or simply wait for Saturn to do it for you in the latter half of the year.

On a cultural note, the amount of superhero and fantasy crap pumping though the cultural mind stream should be enough to cause a stroke. Dork sheik should make a powerful showing in 2007. It may even become a condom.

Saturn: Combing the Lion's Mane for Ticks

Now onto grim frater Saturn. He has been for the last year and half entrenched in the bold mane of Leo, demanding discipline in self-performance and rewarding those who've made a job out of professionalized representation. This August, however, he leaves the lion behind and embraces the discerning clutches of Virgo, which will be his abode until 2009. Whereas Saturn in Leo rewards those who promote themselves, Saturn in Virgo is a more discriminating influence. He cares less about advertisement and much more about the maintenance of quality. Precision, perfection, and diligence are the virtues that Saturn in Virgo demands, while chronic criticism, worry, and unrealistic standards are his vices. Saturn's placement in Virgo will see it approaching an opposition with Uranus in Pisces. The power of materialization and incorporation are Saturn's, and this opposition will see Saturn picking through the manifold ramblings of Uranus in Pisces, plucking out and shining up the choicest pieces of responsible genius. The north and south Nodes of the Moon will also be present along this axis, indicating that this process is inextricable from our current stream of evolution. Saturn in Virgo represents a time of editing and reconsideration, and politically, this will no doubt be the climate. The issues represented by Pisces and Virgo which have been politically outshined by the drama of bombs and idiots will definitely resurge as this axis is stimulated. Gay rights, health care, the legality of genetics, and the place of religion in governance all fit the bill and should be major topics of discussion once the withdrawal from Iraq is underway.

The Vixen and the Blood Drinker

In addition to this larger movements, Venus and Mars will also be changing gears in 2007. Venus and Mars have both been under the sway of Earth Signs over the last year, emphasizing the materialistic sides of relationships. Material dependence, power dynamics, and ownership, among other things, have been major themes. 2007 sees a shift in the energies underlying our inter-relations. The cycles each planet will enter will be those of transition between signs, emphasizing cusps rather than the meat of Signs themselves.

Mars will start his re-orientation on September 17th and will not finish the re-education process until April of '08. This period of transition of Mars will focus on the redirection of action and effort from a tentative association on the mental level to a deeper one on a mental level. The transition from Gemini to Cancer. The focus of transformation can be conceived in several arenas. Professionally, a journalist becoming a novelist. Personally, a bachelor settling down to become a family man. Fundamentally, it signifies an abandonment of multiple focus and the deeper enmeshing of energies with a particular set of activities. This is contrast to the last year, where Mars' overtone has been that of Taurus. With Mars in Taurus, the fiery energy of the red planet is directed towards the creation and possession of the valuable. This Mars cycle has highlighted the value of preservance in one's work as well as the vice of stubbornness in persisting in ill thought out wars. The Gemini-Cancer theme will replace the Taurean one, and we will shift from the uses and abuses of endurance to challenge of figuring out which basket to put all our grenades in.

Venus, since last winter, has been working through a cycle signified by Capricorn. This has forced hard lessons about how power dynamics, material dependence, ambition, and sex figure into the equations that determine the outcomes of our relationships. There's still more to learn, and we'll be seeing the experiences we've had over the last year crystallize into little nuggets of knowledge as the Sun, Mercury, Venus, and Mars plow their way through Capricorn this winter. However, come this Summer, the blueprints for celestial lessons will be a-changin'. Starting 24th of June and ending on the 9th of September, Venus will retreat into her shadow in order to reconfigure for the next section of her adventure. Venus will be bouncing back and forth between Leo and Virgo, in virtually equal measure, throwing the focus off of Capricorn's cold truths and highlighting the transition of Saturn from Leo into Virgo. Venus, the escort par excellence, will accompany Saturn as he makes this change, suggesting that the lessons of Venus will redouble the importance of Saturn's by adding the incentive of wealth and joy to Saturn's rather dry reward system. At the Leo/Virgo cusp, Venus will be asking us how well we back up the self-representation we do in Leo with actual work and study in Virgo. Though this Venus uber-cycle will impact the personal, the Baron believes that the most important point of focus for now is how it accents the transition of Saturn.

2007 HOROSCOPES!

Aries: Destiny Of An Emperor

Your ability to press on is dependent upon how well you utilize your developing messiah complex. Without balancing the need to deepen your spiritual foundations, the pressure to conquer your small continent may drive you to madness.

Taurus: Bovine Relocation Program

Troubled by the press for change, you may or may not have given way to a new course. The not-so-Elysian fields you may have removed yourself to will begin to bear fruit, but if you've stayed stubborn in what you wished was your steady pasture, failure will the be result. A ticket to get back to the basics may be waiting towards the end of 2007.

Gemini: Research, Write, Rewrite, Edit…or Just Ramble

This year begins a number of rewrites and revisions to your draft of life. Those born in the second half of this dual bodied sign are in for years of corrective lessons on the various mights of pen and sword. You, perhaps more than any other zodiacal tribe, will be between the karmic crosshairs of 2007. Your inability to settle on something without sleeping with its enemy will begin biting you in the ass until your reasons are exposed. You'll be alright for the first half, but the latter half of 2007 will find you criticized by scholars, blasted by mermaids, and ignored by MTV.

Cancer: Concerning Power

The trial by manipulation that Venus in Capricorn's tested your affections with will end with the Summer of 2007. Your ability to extend a tender tentacle of feeling punished with last year's tendency towards emotional castration, now your lessons in the pain that power inflicts continues. Mars sneaks into your basement of hurt feelings and denied instincts, educating you on what force can be martialled to do the work of caring. How does one give caring sufficient force to accomplish its goal without that force interfering with caring which had need of the caring in the first place? Also- how does one nurture the forceful?

Leo: Representation And Oppression

At the very moment when you're freed from the prison of an image that stretches your ability to resemble your ideals beyond elasticity you'll find yourself beset by a need to move your charisma past the place of appearance and anchor it fully in the work you've always said you'd do. In the summer of 2007 you move past appearance and engage in the work of refinement. This leaves your essential self less afflicted than its been in the past 2 years, so rejoice. Work and personal life separate to a degree that allows you to more fully integrate the fantastic forces you've been trying to funnel into a career.

Virgo: Blueprint For A Favorable Mutation

Both Saturn and Venus have made an unusual date in August of 2007. The lord austerity and the lady of joy will be meeting in the Sign that your Sun calls home in August, 2007. They'll sit you down and play a round of bad cop- good girl, where they tie you to a chair and take turns explaining, on one hand the limitations you'll have to learn to observe, and on the other hand the benefits that you will accrue by working within these restrictions. This profitable set of restrictions and fears will help give you an idea of how to craft a container for the various mutations you've begun to accrue due to bombardment by the high-voltage radiation of Uranus. You're excitement may get out of hand and you'll possibly go out of your mind without these friendly restrictions. Think of it as personalized plan from Darwin to keep your mutations favorable.

Libra: The Lackey

Well, Libra, not many of this year's major celestial events involve you directly, but they'll be plenty that you're involved in peripherally. Your ability to spruce up what other people have to offer may not be the talent in your toolbox you're most excited about, but it is one you may find more effective this year than your own original but opinionated take on the times. I suggest a shift in your model of relationship from "partner" to "lackey," or even "hunchbacked assistant." Ride the coat-tails, ride the lightning.

Scorpio: Off The Teat

How's my favorite little piglet? Having been blessed by a prime seat in the mother sow's offering of teat in 2006, you've probably sucked so hard you've got chunks of nipple stuck in your teeth. Not that it's been easy, but that really wouldn't be your dish, now would it? With Jupiter out of your home turf, 2007 has less to offer you in terms of darkened paradise, but you'll still be treated to visions of a world on the brink of collapse. Jupiter's movement into Sagittarius says that there may be an abundance of what you value speeding your way, but the end of the year may end up blackholing whatever supernova excitement comes your way if you aren't sufficiently reconciled with your ever-present shadow. Uranus is still your friend, and speculation and risks in the realm of technology could be advised, pending further analysis.

Sagittarius: 15 Minute of Shame

As the Baron's said, Sagittarius, this is your year to shine. If you can come up with any reason at all to justify your proposed celebrity-status, it may well be met with enthusiasm by a temporarily enthralled public. Publication, teaching, pseudo-celebrity style posing and general guru-hood are all well advised. Just do it before the end of August. Come then, the planets will convene in Virgo to decide who will stay and who will go from the eyes of the adoring, and it may be that not every Sagittarius has got what it takes. So take moment and figure what god's avatar you truly are before spreading your message far and wide.

Capricorn: Just The Way You Like It

Happy birthday, Crapricorn. This year will see you starting to take responsibility for the emotional issues that constrained you in 2006. In addition, your ruling planet and guiding star, Saturn, will be moving into an abode where organization and structure make sense: Virgo. The last 2 years of Saturn in Leo have confused the poor Sea-Goat by offering to put it on stage. Most Goats have refused and slunk home to chew cans, complaining that it isn't their personality that's important, but grand design. Well, Capricorn, you'll get your wish come the end of August, when Saturn's entrance into Virgo will put the emphasis back on the concrete and calculable. On work. Back to the pattern of success the hard way. Just the way you like it.

Aquarius: The Stage of Aquarius

Oh sweet Aquarius. The first half of this year may lend your peculiar and personal form of gnosis the forces of propaganda it so desires. Great excitement attends your dreams and their speakable formulations. The first half of this year has a number of bonuses in store for you.

Pisces: The Virgin's Gate

After a conflicting year of trial and support, the first half of 2007 will provide you enough thrust to get your sci-fi sorcery off the ground and into the air. Coasting your way towards Fall, by late Summer, Saturn in Virgo will move to check the progress on your part that's unearned. The stern auditor of the skies will emerge as the major gate through which your work must pass before manifesting in a concrete and coherent way. Also, at the same time, your treasured view on human relations will also go under the hedgeclippers of Virgo, as Venus take her time in the Virgin's sign. This year is all about testing what you've conceived.

Disclaimer: If you do not take every word of these horoscopes into you with the utmost faith, you will die. Statistics bear this out. Simply scan the newspapers. You will find that an overwhelming majority of the people that die each week DID NOT read the Baron's horoscopes.

If your newspaper or your mom's website are interested in publishing the Baron's weekly prophetics, shoot this old guy an email at Dr.Coppockalypse@gmail.com. The Baron is also available for birthdays, weddings, funerals and orgies. Oh, and astrological consultations. There's that, too.

COPYRIGHT 2006 ABYSSAL EPISTLES

"Destiny is an absolutely definite and inexorable ruler. Physical ability and moral determination count for nothing. It is impossible to perform the simplest act when the gods say "no." I have no idea how they bring pressure to bear on such occasions; I only know that it is irresistible." -Aleister Crowley

Sol in Capricorn, Moon in Gemini

posted January 02, 2007 07:40 PM            

------------------
Sun in Libra
Moon in Cancer
Jupiter in Cancer
Venus in Virgo
Mars in Cancer
Ascendant in Cancer