posted January 09, 2007 09:16 PM              

quote:

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no its not saggi is better

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lol SD09!

posted January 09, 2007 09:18 PM            

quote:

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WHY DO YOU DISAPPEAR FOR DAYS??

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Oh, I coulda told you the answer to that. Although me myself, I don't do this with my bf because he's water like me.....insecurities could pop up (plus its just not right to leave your S.O. hangin' like that). One thing I've learned from this board it that all cancers, like myself, feel a need to retreat every once in a while to our "shells" just to get away; recharge those "emotional batteries" so to speak. Its nothing personal...just a need that we have....respect that. Although I pull the dissapearing act with acquaintances, I can understand the frustration of S.O.'s and good friends....I guess you should be atleast told before we do this.

posted January 09, 2007 09:37 PM              

You guys are telling me that crabs go hide in the shells as part of their nature. Ok Ok...i can try to remember that but gosh dang it let me know you are about to take off,

dULCE-You are right. If someone that you are having an on going relationship with and start getting to the habit of talking to a couple times a day just suddenly disappears for days at least give that person a friggin' warning. How can you not take it personally? To me, I am a thinking, hey we are getting close to each other, i am a part of his day like brushing your teeth, then BAM, hes gone. Its like i am savoring a scrumptious ice cream cone and someone knocks it to the ground and the stores closed and you have to be at the mercy of the store owner to decide when he will open the store to give you another one.

but.........if you wait it out........are really patient.......don't go on prozac to control your thoughts, actions and words.........don't really send that dear john letter or the i'm really leaving you this time poem............in time...in time............when ever that is..........HEEEEEEEEE'ssssssS Back!!! and he acts like he LOOOOOOVvvEEEES you. Its GREAT.....Its like nothing ever happened. its like those four days of confusion were just a blurry haze.

its like you got a big yummy sundae with everything and its so delicious but you better eat it quick and enjoy it for all its worth cause BAM it'll be gone when you least suspect it.....

I spoke to him yesterday and said i would call him today.......did he answer the phone.NO. i emailed, did i get a response.NO I am at his mercy again.

Does anyone have any Häagen-Dazs?????? OH I will Buy it myself don't worry about spending a nickle on me!!!

posted January 09, 2007 10:13 PM              

Hopefully your case/ scenerio is much better than mine

But I really know how you feel because I... just like you have a Taurus Venus... and he has a Gemini Venus.... and Cancer Mercury just like your guy!!!

So I can relate to you

Don't worry brighter days are coming for you and him!!!!!

posted January 10, 2007 05:10 AM              

Well my advice is first ask him his feelings about the relationship! As him to tell you 3 things he likes about it and 3 things he would like t improve in it.

Also make sure you tell him that you are are concernerd about his feelings

Cancers are all about feelings

So tell him that his feelings are important to you...

Also get some more input from the men in this forum who are cancer.... they will know more than me about what to do in this matter!!!!

Hope this helps!!!

posted January 10, 2007 05:11 AM              

Well my advice is first ask him his feelings about the relationship!

Ask him to tell you 3 things he likes about it and 3 things he would like to improve in the relationship.

Also make sure you tell him that you are are concernerd about his feelings

Cancers are all about feelings

So tell him that his feelings are important to you...

Also get some more input from the men in this forum who are cancer.... they will know more than me about what to do in this matter!!!!

Hope this helps!!!

posted January 10, 2007 08:01 AM              

see, i have a leo in venus , i love to give gifts but at the same time , i have gifted someone just once in my life
ah, she was special!

posted January 10, 2007 08:26 AM            

Just warning you.. I wouldnt go and tell him that you have other guys asking you out and stuff..or that you could possibly be going out on other dates and getting the meal paid for.. it would probably threaten or offend him and he most likely would get ****** and tell you to go have at it with the other guys... he would be saying to himself 'well if she cant see that im the better guy well then to hell with her'.. thats what I would be thinking at least.. and well I would eventually warm back up to the person and show them I want them..

But Idk.. im starting to not like the sound of this guy.. and he is coming off to me as an emotionless ******* who thinks hes too good for you.. or to especially pay for a single date.. if the first date went good I would have been paying for every date after that.. and he is seeming self-absorbed .. not even thinking of how you might be feeling or to call you back or anything.. its like he thinks he has you at his will.. and that disgusts me... not cancerian at all.. atleast not for me. and its funny but you are sounding more like a Cancer to me then anything.. well atleast how I am. lol. If i was in a relationship with someone I liked , I would be at their will...my heart would be in their hands to do with what they please. not the other way around. Cancer men go to all lengths to please the object of their affection. and well he doesnt sound like he is doing that very well.. Idk I could be wrong about alot of this .. maybe I just dont understand the way you full grown adults are .. lol
and it still bewilders me that after 7 months you arent even calling eachother bf and gf ... its been 2 months and I have already am in a comitted long term relationship with a person. but I guess maybe Im still just a young lovefool.. hah

but nonetheless you need to ask him what he wants and both of you need to get your true feelings out on the table to clear up alot.. and you need to get on it! stop delaying!... wishing the best of luck

~Kevin~

posted January 10, 2007 05:22 PM              

seeing stars, that makes sense not to tell him about any other people because that might just aggravate the situation.

i am just going to say i how think, how i feel, how his actions don't make sense to me and see if he avoids me or takes the time to share his thoughts. if he cares he will share his thoughts and try to be of comfort to be (i hope). if not, then i am done.

posted January 10, 2007 06:41 PM              

I think that is you best course. Be honest with him, say the things you have said here.

I have never done the dissapearing thing to any female I was interested in. I find it strange he doesn't retun your communications right away.

Good Luck

posted January 11, 2007 09:41 AM              

I will get back after the conversation and let you all know how your advice helped me out here. i do appreciate it as i really do not have anyone to talk about this to.

Focus Chi, i wanted to ask you a couple things since you have so much of the same simularities in your chart, you don't have to answer if you don't want to but

Would you consider yourself a somewhat shy person? He has told me in the past that the way he acts is because of his shyness at times and that may be what i dont' understand regarding his actions.

also...

Would you consider yourself a flirt to some degree? I ask this because when i did bring this topic up to a freind of mine she simply said, oh, you don't hear from him because he is just out flirting with other women. I never brought this up to her again.

and...

are children and a commitment really important to you? i asked him these questions a while back as the topic casually arose, and he said that he is not really sure, that there are pros and cons to both. So basically, i didn't get an answer Just wondering your opinion on these things.........thx chi

posted January 11, 2007 11:56 PM              

we had a talk, finally voiced some of my thoughts. not all. i didn't want to get too crazy all at once but i did voice my concerns and feelings and even got a little teary eyed with emotion but i just laid my cards and took a chance to scare him off or not.

i wanted to a straight answer as to where we stood. he told me i was his very best freind. i was shocked. i think that means a lot. it really took me by surprise. he keeps so much to himself and he admitted this to me. is this better than considering me a girlfrreind?

i was being extra affectionte by the way Stars .

I asked about things moving forward and he voiced concerns about that fact that he is aware of other men that like me and he can't really get really much more serious until he felt like it naturally went there and the there would not be any other men around trying for me to catch their atttenion (some are very obvious about this)

i asked if he minded if i did go out with some one. he hesitated and asked me if that was what i wanted to do. i said please dont' answer with a question. then he said well if that is what you wanted to do. i will not say anything, i am not the jealous type. I thought cancers were jealous??? anyway, i said i did not want to see anyone, that i just needed to know how he felt towards me.

posted January 12, 2007 01:14 AM              

1-) How do you know if a Cancer man really loves you?

2-) What are some hints, that he loves someone?

3-) What could a woman do to get her cancer man to love her?

4-) And what makes a cancer man feel loved?

posted January 12, 2007 01:14 AM              

1-) How do you know if a Cancer man really loves you?

2-) What are some hints, that he loves someone?

3-) What could a woman do to get her cancer man to love her?

4-) And what makes a cancer man feel loved?

posted January 12, 2007 08:32 AM              

IAmLove, I wish i could be the one answering the questions you present but i can't. Hopefully someone will and give a little more insite on how i can approach my next get together with this man and hopefully it will help you out too IAmLove

At this point, I am just thinking that the fact that he still wants to meet and hang out together means something. I said i didn't want to be friends with bene's. If that is what is happening i will be repulsed. It was late, i made these comments to him not expecting answers right away but i will ask very directly the next time we hang out together.

i wonder if i was too bold to say that i felt for him more than friends, that i just wanted to get to know him and that i don't waste my time in the dark with people. i said i didn;t want to be used. i said that if i wanted to be the runaround type that there were people out there i could run about with that practically throw themselves at me. i am not wired that way. i am one person at a time in my devotion. i just am wondering about his chart though.

posted January 12, 2007 10:21 PM              

As a child I was painfuly shy. At 37 I am so far from that. These days I battle a God Complex.

I am playful and friendly to unknown females, but I don't consider myself a flirt.

Before I adopted my daughter having children wasn't an absolute has to be thing for me. Now I must have more.

Commitment, For me if there isnt commitment the relationship ends. I don't do the casual date thing.

An interesting fact though.... If I were developing a relationship with a woman who was obviously being sought after by other men I might back off to see if she truly wanted me.

A self protection thing. It could be a powerful dynamic influencing him.

I don't think you were too bold, showing him your cards was a good thing. Alway be honest and open. You cannot lose that which you do not possess.

Now that you have openly declared your intentions, Im intrigued to see what happens.

posted January 13, 2007 03:28 AM              

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Just to keep the record straight.....He KNEW about these other guys that have an interest in me. i didn't go into detail. He said he could sense it when we were out. I didn't try to ruffle his feathers, he brought up the subject.
IAmLove, I wish i could be the one answering the questions you present but i can't. Hopefully someone will and give a little more insite on how i can approach my next get together with this man and hopefully it will help you out too IAmLove

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I hope so too!!! ....

posted January 13, 2007 03:28 AM              

quote:

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Just to keep the record straight.....He KNEW about these other guys that have an interest in me. i didn't go into detail. He said he could sense it when we were out. I didn't try to ruffle his feathers, he brought up the subject.
IAmLove, I wish i could be the one answering the questions you present but i can't. Hopefully someone will and give a little more insite on how i can approach my next get together with this man and hopefully it will help you out too IAmLove

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I hope so too!!! ....

posted January 13, 2007 04:02 AM              

My, my, my.........I find this so fasinating with the charts being so simuliar. He is only a few years younger than you by the way.

As I said, he was very shy and I see he is on the verge of overcoming it to some degree. God Complex? Oh yes, I would say he has that as well. He is highly intelligent, I have heard the term geekish mentioned more than once when referring to him. He is a little arogant as well. I see through all that though and i believe he feels more grounded in my presence. It is just a feeling I get when I am with him. I am not sure if you feel this way, but there is an aloofness to you that most people see but if you are anything like what i believe in inside this man then there is an exceptional giving tender human being I just want to be so certain before i reveal anymore of myself or make myself any more vulnerable. But that is what i am beginning to believe.

Your comment about the flirting is reassuring if the charts have anything to really say about that. I personally sense things and my sense is that he appreciates lovely women and beautiful things in general perhaps more than most men but he has a more reserved tactful approach I believe regarding the opposite sex. I say this because I am remembering how long it took for him to approach me.

As far as children is concerned, I can't really go thru the whole pregnancy thing because of health issues and i was wondering about that because i wouldn't want to disappoint him if things went onto the level. Adopting is a wonderful idea though and i commend you for being there. My mom was adopted and simply adored her father (my grandfather) more than I had ever witnessed by anyone that had biological parents. I would consider that option myself actually.

I hope that he has your same ideals regarding commitment by the way. They are the same as mine and i will be asking him directly about this very soon.

Your comment...........

An interesting fact though.... If I were developing a relationship with a woman who was obviously being sought after by other men I might back off to see if she truly wanted me.

This comment really struck me Chi, this thought crossed my mind. If you could kindly give me any suggestions on what i can do to reassure this man, please tell me. I will take them to heart as i see you have a striking amount of simuliarties to him so far.

If I could be so bold with you, i hope you don't mind if i ask you a few more things. If you don't want to answer, that it ok too. I just never thought i would run across someone with so many things in common with this person that is really helping me. I truly appreciate it by the way I don't dilly dally regarding feelings and love and whatnot. I dont' like to waste time but if i do decide i want to give, it is in bushel-loads and I have not gotten to this point yet.

ok..a few more things if you do not mind...

Do you write at all? Stories or poetry or do you enjoy reading it and receiving it?

Do you enjoy pampering your special someone more or would you rather them do the pampering to you moreso?

Are you a music lover and into the arts at all?

Thanks again. you are a good man to take the time.

posted January 13, 2007 07:24 AM              

RE: Other guys. There is no way to let him know other than to tell him. Which it sounds like you did.

Although I have been published a number of times (science, medical papers) I am not a creative writer, maybe could have on another path.

Pampering? Who doesnt love that?

I am an Arts lover. At 4 my daughter has been to more museums and galleries than most people go to in their lives.