posted January 09, 2007 05:22 PM            

Girl my Fish baby is good. I love him so much even when he makes me so angry. Sometimes I just stare in amazement at him and his natural spiritaul ways..

posted January 10, 2007 10:24 AM              

MM-- We're still hanging in there in our weird never neverland. But you know the drill and I won't pretend to have answers for him...I barely have answers for me. When he is kind and open and over the top funny, it's much like living in a snowglobe. But then he turns around and pulls back and regrets it I think... And what am I to say? Not much. I feel that I have enough fortitude to keep us both from going over the lines but I think he looks at me and going over the lines just screams in his head. I can't curb unwarranted guilt. You know what I mean? Don't feel guilty for something you did not do and have not done nor have not been invited to do...The difference between us is I can live in my head and whirl this amazing lovely protected life or moment with him without torturing myself about it. Becuase it's my feelings..not my actions,..and those are mine to own..no one elses... I think he feels strong and giddy and then feels bad about it...

posted January 10, 2007 03:08 PM              

So far its being a cross between torture (learning about myself I think) and very emotionally healing and lovely.

We are friends and doc/patient (regular doc not professor ph.d or psychologist doc). Usually it has a warm floaty comfortable feeling (his sun Pisces/asce Cancer/Moon Libra), but there is an odd erotic undertone that has a sort of bizarre power feel to it. I am not sure how to quite describe it but it's that feeling that you want your arms pressed against the wall and kissed hard but that you could in turn tie him to the bed and leave him their begging for food and other stuff for two days. Maurice Fernandez once commented that my mars/saturn midpoint at D's Venus made him wonder if I was this guy's dominatrix. I thought it was joke...But seriously ...... The natal does have my sun on his SN and my Chiron conjunct his "stellium" roundup of Venus/Eros/Chrion in his 8th house Aqua. But our venuses also square each other and my pluto opposes his venus.

But it's all rather helpless though compelling.

The composite has a star of David of double grand trines overlay (one being neptune moon and mars in water) but with Moon (can) opposing Saturn (cap) and pisces Mars opposing virgo Pluto (that sounds kinky weird there now that I look at it) and Aries Venus sitting right on the descendant and vertex. The Composite rising is Libra, the Moon Cancer but the 7th house 3 planet line up of venus mercury and sun in ARIES!)