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Author
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Topic: CANCER MAN COMMUNITY ......
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artgirl
unregistered
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posted February 14, 2007 03:19 AM
 
sinderlou
i totally agree with all u said good and bad of the cancer man
ILWL
your advice has been real helpfull all this time
if i werent here with you guys i would not have been able to understand him at allIP: Logged |
artgirl
unregistered
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posted February 14, 2007 03:23 AM
and my luck is that his daughters birthday is today on valentine so i don't think i'll be seeing him. he did say its your luck that the two coincide but i said its ok we should be possitive about everything. and i meant it. we have been fine lately he is really into me but is having a hard time making a decision.
but practicing "the secret" has been real helpful for me so i suggest to everyone that you should get a copy of the dvd and see what its all about and try it. bottom line it keeps you going in life with hope for all you want and hope is really important.IP: Logged |
NAM
unregistered
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posted February 14, 2007 07:21 AM
Read the book 3 times. Good stuff.IP: Logged |
sinderlou
unregistered
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posted February 14, 2007 08:02 AM
Artgirl- I am glad I could help. With these cancerians, we need to share all our tried and true methods of coping and understanding because they aren't human  *giggles* Seriously, you have a great Valentines Day even though your guy has to be with family. Happy Valentines Day to everyone out there!  IP: Logged |
sag_girl
unregistered
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posted February 14, 2007 09:21 AM
Okay, let me ask you this  Is there ANYONE here who has danced the dance with their cancer and actually ended up in a COMMITTED relationship with them? I'm especially interested in the ones who said they wanted nothing serious. Thanks! IP: Logged |
Virgo/Aries75
unregistered
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posted February 14, 2007 10:18 AM
Geez, I feel for all you ladies going through the "Cancer Man Drama."  I've only been with 1 Cancer - my daughter's father- it was up and down like many of you ladies have experienced. I just don't have the patience for all that(Aries moon?). I didn't really have a problem with him committing because he pretty much said he wanted to marry me from when we first met. We were together when we were 18 and broke up less than 2 years later. We were kids and fought horribly. He was still going back and forth with living with his parents and wasn't ready to be responsible even though we had a daughter.  We tried again like 10 years later when we were both 30. He wanted to get married then too. I'M SOOOO GLAD WE DIDN'T!!! There were a lot of problems. He had a drinking problem, he was still trying to live the "bachelor life"-friends over & drinking/smoking at all hours, going out to bars, and the MAIN problem that I had with him was that I was expected to walk around on eggshells to be careful of **HIS** feelings, but he could drag mine through the dirt and trample on them!!! He didn't use the "I'm a Cancer" excuse, but he pretty much acted like he was the only one with feelings and I either don't have them or they just didn't matter. I can't treat a grown man like a baby especially when he acts like such an insensitive JERK to me. Sure, there were moments when he could be thoughtful, romantic, and generous. But they didn't make up for the crap he would put me through. Oh my gosh! I almost left out the other double standards!!! 1)How about he could go to bars and clubs and such with his friends and I'm supposed to trust him but he wanted me to check in with him if I so much as went to the grocery store in the middle of the day????(For the record - I'm a grown azz woman and I'm not checkin in with ANYBODY. I never did either) 2)He always wanted to go through my phone but if I asked for his he would trip and be offended. More on that - the women's #s in his phone were "people from work" or "friends" and it shouldn't matter. But he would grill me on any man's number in my phone. So he can have female friends but I shouldn't have male friends? Whatever. 3)He could yell and cuss but he would practically end up in TEARS over my "tone of voice."????? Sometimes maybe my voice would convey the emotions I was feeling even if I wasn't yelling or cussing and HE COULDN'T HANDLE IT!!!  4)Here's another crazy thing: If we had an argument he would act like the things he said and did NEVER HAPPENED!! Like they were just erased from the face of the earth and ***I**** was crazy and hallucinating. I know I'm not, so I just got fed up. If you can't deal with reality AT ALL then you need to go back to the bottles and the blunts cuz I'm living in reality and lovin it.  Sorry this was so long. I hope you ladies have ***MUCH*** better experiences with your Cancer men. And please, PLEASE don't get caught up in trying to get a "commitment" from a man. If he's good to you and loves you he'll want that commitment as much as you. Besides, why would you want a commitment from a man who confuses you and isn't treating you how you deserve to be treated? IP: Logged |
CrabbyKitty
unregistered
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posted February 14, 2007 10:48 AM
quote:
Okay, let me ask you this Is there ANYONE here who has danced the dance with their cancer and actually ended up in a COMMITTED relationship with them? I'm especially interested in the ones who said they wanted nothing serious. Thanks!
Sag Girl, this is so funny because I'm a Cancer and was put through the wringer by a Sag man over the whole "yes, I'm committed, no I'm not committed" sh*t. I've never dated a Cancer man and only know two - both older than me and never been married. Hmmm. It amazes me all the problems with these men that are talked about here. IP: Logged |
NAM
unregistered
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posted February 14, 2007 02:16 PM
I am starting to get all turned off about cancer men LOL actually I am getting turned off by men in general HAHAHA
And, yes, I believe if a person (being cancer or not) wants a relationship with someone he will say that right away and not go through all the drama, but as I said before I am not one to give advice.
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artgirl
unregistered
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posted February 15, 2007 01:58 PM
ok everyone
most of our cancer experinces have been similar expect the one long one.
and mine is not like that at all . i was with my therapist today and she believes since he was badly burned before it will take time for him to heal and trust me completly and one thing she asked me was is this guy worth to you to wait another 6 months for in the same way its going on now i mean the cancer dance and you know what i said yes. because when i am with him i am real happy and he makes me feel great and my friends are all telling me that i have had a real sparkle in my eye recently and i always did like a challenge i just hope this one isn't bigger than i can handle. and yes i think we should share our experinces since i think it could be real helpful dealing with the cancer man the things i have read and heard here have been real helpful for me in my relashionshipIP: Logged |
luna*tic12
unregistered
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posted February 15, 2007 05:16 PM
For all the ladies that are dealing with/have dealt with difficult Cancerian men, what were there relationships to their mothers like?
The Difficult Cancer I am involved with was adopted, so I figure that being estranged from his real mother probably has a lot to do with his insecurities...------------------
Cancer Sun/Leo Moon/Leo Rising/Sun and Moon in 12th House. IP: Logged |
Isolaede
Newflake Posts: 15
From: Sunny CA
Registered: May 2009
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posted February 15, 2007 07:34 PM
My cancer's mother has passed on, but like most Cancer's he worships at the alter of her memory. And from what he's told me about her, there couldn't be a woman more worthy of worship. One of the greatest compliments he ever game me was telling me he wished his mother could have met me, because he knew she'd love me (and she hadn't really liked any of his other girlfriends).Kindest regards, Isolaede IP: Logged |
sinderlou
unregistered
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posted February 15, 2007 08:33 PM
THe cancer i am seeing hates his mom and hasn't seen her for 4 years. He said she was a control freak and couldn't wait to move out of the house.IP: Logged |
ffthhseplsurz
unregistered
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posted February 15, 2007 09:53 PM
hello all. I'm new here. Your experiences with cancer men have me bewildered. My son is cancer, 27, married, happily, a two yr son, and has been with his wife since 17. I thought cancer's have very strong family bonds, so why do you say lack of commitment? His relationship with his mother is more like sister/brother. Of course we did have him at 18. IP: Logged |
Neon Artemis
unregistered
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posted February 16, 2007 09:41 AM
The Mother influence is REALLY important to Cancer Males. It will determine how they are in relationships and treat the opposite sex.A lot of the Cancer Males I met had overpowering mothers. They would baby the men in certain ways, yet not teach or encourage them to stand on their own two feet and leave them emasculated. Lots of verbal abuse at times. One of my exes got a lot of material things and kept expecting financial support from his mother at age 35, and was really angry that she stopped. He said she shouldn't have "spread her legs and popped him out" if she didn't want to support him. I think when women do that to their boys it's really awful, and it turns them into latent misogynists. They couldn't control their own impulses when it came to anything, sex, spending money, etc. They also expected the women they dated to be the "mom" and put up with all their crap and be sensitive to them while they walked all over their partners feelings. They honestly had no sense of the other persons emotions if they were stirred up, it's all about them and how you're not indulging them. I think for Cancer Males it's more about our social conditioning of men. Emotions are natural in both men and women, but our society doesn't recognize this and wants to regulate us into rigid gender roles. Thank God things are changing. Cancer males are not taught how to express or deal with their emotions in a healthy manner, and that's why they are big babies, they were never taught how to grow up. Sensitivity is great if it's mature, then it benefits everyone - but if you're stuck at the emotional capacities of a 2 year old at age 35, it's ridiculous and narcissistic, like dating a brat kid that is a black hole and always wants more more more. For the record, I find that Cancer females can be pretty treacherous in their own way too, but tend to be more openly nurturing. I wouldn't have one as a close friend, I don't trust them enough to let them close. IP: Logged |
Dulce Luna
Newflake Posts: 7
From: The Asylum, NC
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted February 16, 2007 09:51 AM
This is why I would never get with another cancer; with everything revolving around the mother ....it would infuriate me. I don't know the extent of my cancer father's relationship with his mother....and frankly, I don't want to know. But my father is practically everything bad about cancer men (manipluative, trampling over feelings, and what a big baby!). Good thing he does have a good side though...I guess.
Actually, the other one's I've known have been alright so I take back the other statement. There is one who dates my cancer friend and they've been doing just fine. And then of course, there's Cancerrg  .
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susie3g
unregistered
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posted February 16, 2007 10:28 AM
Now.... to Virgo/Aries 75....
My last 3 were all Cancers... Jeez.. CancerManDrama doesn't even begin to describe our troubles. My cancers were all like yours... alot of double standards. Mine enjoyed going out to the bars, hanging out with his buddies till all hours of the night, leave me home with the kids, and then tell me, "You should get out more. You should go do something, too." But, he'd never watch the kids for me so I could. They wanted me to have friends, just not male friends (go figure), but it was perfectly alright for them to have female friends. They yelled at me, cussed, stayed angry at the world all the time. The last one told me he hated my guts and called me a stupid ignorant b***h. I stayed for awhile anyway, thinking there was something I could do differently that would make him feel the way he did about me in the beginning. But no such luck. I couldn't hurt his feelings, or if I did, I never knew it. And boy... they ALL pretend like the arguments never happened. To them... the best way to solve the problem is to pretend like it doesn't exist at all. They've all been huge jerks.
That's why this new cancer scares me so bad. He seems perfect (They all did in the beginning). I'm playing Monopoly tonight with him and a few friends. I guess I get to see how competitive he is now..lol. This cancer seems different, though, more of a typical cancer, or so I've been told. THANK GOD!!!!!..lol.
4)Here's another crazy thing: If we had an argument he would act like the things he said and did NEVER HAPPENED!! Like they were just erased from the face of the earth and ***I**** was crazy and hallucinating. I know I'm not, so I just got fed up. If you can't deal with reality AT ALL then you need to go back to the bottles and the blunts cuz I'm living in reality and lovin it.
IP: Logged |
Virgo/Aries75
unregistered
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posted February 16, 2007 10:58 AM
Susie - You're a brave, brave woman.Good luck, I hope this one turns out better. IP: Logged |
InLoveWithLife
unregistered
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posted February 16, 2007 02:20 PM
thanks artgirl, i'm glad i cud help you see i'm in the same boat....except that i know we r not fated to be together in this life. i am crazy about him. just dont understand why i had to meet him AND fall for him if we were not meant to be. i mean, gosh, i need to vent !! we r the best of friends, he is my fav person. he is not the type of guy i normally go for, neither am i the type of girl he usually wud hang out with. yet, there is this undercurrent of attraction we have, that is so difficult to deny. we have the most amazing chemistry, he can almost read my mind (and to some extent i can read his), we have affection, attraction, compatibility, the whole package! but due to certain circumstances, its just not possible for us to get together. i hv become so horribly attached to him. have been trying to get over him for a while. today i saw him after 3 weeks, and gosh, i am back to square one!!  why does he have to do those silly little things tht mean so much to me. ILWL IP: Logged |
NAM
unregistered
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posted February 16, 2007 04:53 PM
Inlovewithlife~ Why can you see him? is he attached? or are you?damn, you people first put cancers like they are the best... from: nurturing,kind,loving,detail oriented, to a mama's boy that can't take care of himself. I just think a little of the negative side of people we bring out ourselves, couldn't it be that since you were not compatible with cancer then you brought out the bad things of him?
As I said before , I think people are too quick now to end relationships and we don't work at them, then when we do know that we need to end them we turn bitter. And to think that sometimes I think I am ready for another relationship... IP: Logged |
InLoveWithLife
unregistered
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posted February 16, 2007 04:59 PM
NAM, you could be right about that. not everyone is right for everyone. there must be people who find me very irritating. and there r people i just cant stand for some reason, who others r perfectly fine with.He is not attached, neither am I. its stupid things like age, religion, culture. And damn his sag moon and asc, he is very conservative about these things. no actually, his parents are, and they wud be really hurt if he crosses all these borders. so its not gonna happen. he has made it clear. leaving all these earthly things aside, i wonder what is the 'higher' reason why we cant be together. there always is. may be i am idealizing the relationship too much. it must be for my own greater good. but how ??? ILWL IP: Logged |
NAM
unregistered
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posted February 16, 2007 05:08 PM
He is a cancer with a sag asc? hmmm...
I am a cancer with a ssg asc, I wonder comparing just those two how we differenciate from each other knowing we are different sexes.And I am sorry if I keep asking questions, it is very difficult to follow with people's life when there are no faces and one is new to a community, you guys already know each other from a while so it becomes familiar to know about situations... IP: Logged |
artgirl
unregistered
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posted February 16, 2007 11:47 PM
mine came over last night despite he is in the back step stage. but said i am wearing him down!!!! but his resistance i mean don't know. i gave him a heart i had had carved just for him out of coral for valentine's day which he didn't spend with me. and he was so touched he could not speak and i told him its my heart and to take good care of it while he had it. and he was so amazing. but we have some background problems too. but i think we will be together and will be able to resolve it all. main problem his kid. anyways the most important thing he makes me happy. and not a lot of males are capable of doing that for me.IP: Logged |
NAM
unregistered
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posted February 17, 2007 12:01 AM
awww, that is sweet and I am happy and jealous for you.(just kidding about the jealous part) I hope he comes around and decides to build a life with you.But if he makes you happy then just hang in there and always be true to your feelings...the only way to be happy. oh yeah, you kind of have to tell him too what makes you happy so he can do it
indirectly of course, if he is the one he should be able to pick up on it.... I guess  IP: Logged |
artgirl
unregistered
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posted February 17, 2007 01:28 AM
yes Nam that is what i am doing i never thought i would fall so hard for a guy so different from me in his beliefs and way of life but i am really begining to get a thing for the cancer male they are so sensitive and caring and kind and attentive anyhow i am blabbing over and over again its just today i am really happy.
thxIP: Logged |
sinderlou
unregistered
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posted February 17, 2007 09:59 AM
Hi IN Love With LIfeMy cancer is a cancer sun, sag moon, cancer asc. i wonder if they are a special breed??? the cancer sag combo IP: Logged | |
Lindaland
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