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Author Topic:   Elemental balance and difficulties in relationships
CrankyCap
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posted March 07, 2007 11:47 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for CrankyCap     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I've been pondering this for a few days now...I have an almost perfectly elementally balanced chart between earth (3 planets), water (3 planets), and fire (3 planets not including asc.), with air being the element that I'm lacking (1 planet).

I am hard pressed to find people with this kind of equality among the elements, and it's even more difficult finding/meeting people with my exact combination (Earth/Fire/Water).

There have really only been 2 men in my life that I've felt I really connected and bonded with, but the relationships didn't last, and both had their share of problems.

The first one had 3 planets in earth, 4 planets in fire, 2 planets in air, and 1 planet in water. The second had 1 planet in earth, 3 planets in water, 1 planet in fire, and 5 planets in air. While I found the first man dependable, exciting, fun, and intelligent, I often felt he was too insensitive (only 1 water planet). I saw the second guy as poetic, romantic, ambitious and sexy...but I also found him unreliable (only 1 earth), and insincere (only 1 fire). The first was primarily a fire/earth and the second was primarily air/water...then there's me, little miss earth/fire/water.

Does anyone else have a balance in their chart like this, and if so, do you find that it is difficult to connect with people? Also, do you find it easy to to generally "get along" with most people? I know that sounds contradictory, but in basic interaction with people, having this balance does help me to easily find common ground. It's more difficult though in intimate relationships, because most people tend to lean more in one direction, and it's rather easy for me to spot the area/areas where they are lacking in certain qualities.

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Dulce Luna
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From: The Asylum, NC
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posted March 07, 2007 12:37 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Dulce Luna     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Hmmm, I'm the same as you: 3 water,3 fire, 3 earth, and 1 air. And this is including the Ascendant. So without the Asc it would be 3 water,3 fire, 2 earth, and 1 air. Maybe this is the reason I am so hard to satisfy:

quote:
It's more difficult though in intimate relationships, because most people tend to lean more in one direction, and it's rather easy for me to spot the area/areas where they are lacking in certain qualities.

However, the singleton air planet I have happens to be my venus and I realized it tends to be very strong in the area of personal relationships.

My current bf is mostly water and fire though with an earth singleton (mars). Physically he may be a bit restless but emotionally he's still at ease for some reason. No drama from him there.

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CrabbyKitty
unregistered
posted March 07, 2007 12:49 PM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Hi CC!

I do seem to have difficulties in relationships, but don't usually see it as me being too picky - more that I'm able to see all sides, which makes it harder for me to make decisions or let go of things that are past their point of making sense.

Here we go ~

Water - 3, Earth - 4, Fire - 4 (including Asc.) Also, they're all Cancer, Scorpio, Virgo, and Leo, with one Cap in Saturn - so I'm not even varied by sign.

The only air I have in my basic chart is TN in Libra. My parents and both siblings are air signs (Gem and Libra) and while we all love each other, understanding each other is rare. The exception to some extent is my dad who is Gem/Cancer cusp.

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CrankyCap
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posted March 07, 2007 02:01 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for CrankyCap     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Dulce - Don't know if I necessarily feel like I'm hard to satisfy, but I guess I just *expect* others to be as objective as I am...if that makes sense.

You're right, even though there is only one air placement, it does have it's influence since it is a singleton, and mine squares my sun and mars (Libra-Cap). I've also got Aquarius on my 7H cusp, so I tend to act a bit Aquarian in my relationships with an intense need to maintain my personal freedom. I can't stand to have a man "pick me up" for a date. If I don't have my car to escape in as a safety net, I feel like I might hyperventilate! However, really "airy" people are the most difficult for me to relate to in general...although this is certainly not the case all the time.

CK - I actually thought about you when I wrote this post! You were the only other person I had seen on here (with the exception of Dulce now) with a very similar combination to mine. I agree with you, it makes us almost too objective. If I'm with someone with a lot of fire, I don't understand why they're acting so selfish, or when someone has too much water, I don't understand why they're so sensitive and take offense to so much, or someone with too much earth acting too cautious or downright boring, and I might see someone with an abundance of air being too detached and not really very passionate about anything. *Sigh* I think it actually makes life a little more difficult when you have this balance...you can never be "pegged" as being or acting a certain way, because you can relate to everything on some level. Then again, you really don't have anything in abundance either. I think it makes us very, "go with the flow" kind of characters.

I just don't encounter many people at all with this balance...kind of makes personal relationships very difficult for me at times.

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Dulce Luna
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From: The Asylum, NC
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posted March 07, 2007 02:10 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Dulce Luna     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
That's it!! Its like I could almost never find an even ground with someone...doesn't matter if it was romantic or platonic. Nearly everyone to me either puts too much emphasis on being rational or way too much emphasis on being irrational/emotional. And I feel like they do it at the wrong place, and at the wrong time too.

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CrankyCap
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From: Ohio
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posted March 07, 2007 02:31 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for CrankyCap     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Exactly Dulce.

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CrabbyKitty
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posted March 07, 2007 02:43 PM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Ditto, Dulce. I'm having a problem with one of my friends right now because of this very thing - she's an Aries but has a LOT of air in her chart. It's like we're speaking two different languages sometimes. BUT...my quandry is this - is it her or is it just ME? Am I being too demanding or not understanding enough?

I just find it highly irritating which isn't leaving me much room for compassion for her right now. This, unfortunately, makes me look and feel very self-interested. I don't believe that describes me well, but there are times....

I just try to watch myself and be honest about who's the one with the problem.

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CrankyCap
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From: Ohio
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posted March 07, 2007 02:56 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for CrankyCap     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
CK - I can relate to that one as well. I'm going through a rough period right now...feeling very withdrawn and anti-social. My Leo friend is about to move in with her first boyfriend (she's 27), and although I AM happy for her...I just know that if I see her, she'll drive me insane. She's got 6 fire planets, including her ascendant, and I know if I see her, it will be all about HER. Sometimes I'm ok with this, but my emotional state right now is just not up to it. She'll ask me how I'm doing right off the bat, but once I give her my short answer, she'll be off and running for God-knows-how-long about herself and everything that's going on in HER life. Sometimes I just can't deal with it...and now is definitely one of those times.

I also feel like I'm being very selfish right now, and I should let her have her "happy" moment...but I'm just not up to it. Even when she's depressed, she can talk about herself endlessly for hours, so I can't imagine how it will be now! LOL...I kind of feel like a caterpillar cocooning myself for a while...really feel like I'm going through some kind of metamorphisis. As if things are going to be very dark for a while, but when I emerge from this, everything will be different...and I have a feeling that may include giving up some things (including people) that haven't been beneficial in my life.

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AcousticGod
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From: Pleasanton, CA
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posted March 07, 2007 03:19 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for AcousticGod     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Have you guys done the "simple chart delineation by Walter Pullen" in the Pullen/Astrolog section of the Extended Chart Selection at astro.com?

It gives an elemental breakdown for your chart. Here's mine:

See how it says my water is 19.3% of the elemental influence? My only planet in water is Mars in Scorpio. Mars in Scorpio alone couldn't produce that high percentage, so in order to find the rest of the water we have to look at houses. I have two planets in the 8th, which is a water house. That's where the rest of my water influence is.

I just wanted to point that out, because elements aren't only assigned to planetary influence, they're also assigned to the House influences.

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CrabbyKitty
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posted March 07, 2007 03:20 PM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
So weird. I've felt the same way. I just moved to a new apartment from a house I'd lived in for five years, and the whole time I was an emotional wreck. Apparently having feet in two homes at the same time isn't my gig. Anyway, now that I'm settled it's like I just need some down time.

In the process of that, friends who are more needy, like my aries, are resisting. It has nothing to do with her, but she's going to push buttons until she gets a reaction (I will never understand why do people do that). The surprise will be when my reaction isn't my usual shrug and get on with things.

I'm feeling very touchy about people invading my space and dictating to me what they think I need to be doing. On the other hand, my older and wiser friends and I all seem to know how not to (and have no desire to) egg each other on. We focus more on giving space and care and lots of hugs and chats.

I don't know. I'm just ranting, I think. I understand what you mean about feeling selfish, but then if I go along with something I'm not enjoying or let someone treat me like I don't want to be treated, anger and resentment ensues. So, maybe selfishness translates as self preservation and should be paid attention to. We need to give ourselves as much care and consideration as we do people around us.

Get into your cocoon and rest. Think. Reflect. Grow. And get ready for all the good stuff coming next.

CK

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CrabbyKitty
unregistered
posted March 07, 2007 03:30 PM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
AG, thanks for that! I looked at mine, but am not schooled on how to copy it here.

Basically it is this:

My power planets (Position + Aspects) are
Venus and Mars, each with 13%, followed by Sun with 12%, and Merc with 11%

Elements are:

Fire 30.5%, Earth 29.2%, Air (!!) 12.4%, and Water 27.9%

Power signs are:

Leo - 18%, Virgo - 15%, Scorpio 11%, and then closely followed by (I can't believe this) Aries 10.5%, Cancer 10.3%. The rest are very small amounts.

Oh, and Cardinal 30.6%, Fixed 42.8% and Mutable 26.6%

I'm going to go back and read this whole chart - it's a few pages long but looks very interesting.

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CrankyCap
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From: Ohio
Registered: May 2009

posted March 07, 2007 04:03 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for CrankyCap     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Wow...this is great! Thank you for posting that AG...I never even knew it was there!

Power Planets (Position + Aspects):

Sun - 15.1%, Saturn - 11.5%, Mars - 11.4%, Pluto - 10.5%

Signs:

Cap - 14.8%, Virgo - 13.2%, Scorpio - 12.3%, Leo - 11.6%, Sag - 9.4%

*note* Gemini comes in ranked 12th at just 3%. I find that I have the MOST difficulty with those who have an abundance of Gemini in their charts.

Elements:

Earth - 33%, Water - 27.5%, Fire - 25.5%, Air - 13.9%

Modes:

Mutable - 34.9%, Fixed - 33.9%, Cardinal - 31.1%

Interesting...I would never have thought Virgo to be my second strongest sign...nor would I have seen Cap as #1...Of all the elements, I "feel" the least earth.

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Dulce Luna
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From: The Asylum, NC
Registered: Apr 2009

posted March 07, 2007 06:25 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Dulce Luna     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Guys, I can totally relate. I have this Sag friend comes off as being really over the top.....arrrghhh. I find her to be soooo melodramatic even though she has a virgo moon just like me. Like one day she lectured me while I was eating Chinese food about how "I was killing myself" by doing so. I kept trying to tell her that nothing is bad in moderation (it's not like I eat it everyday) but she kept going on and on. I should mention that she has a fire mercury and mars as well so its all in how she expresses herself.

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Dulce Luna
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From: The Asylum, NC
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posted March 07, 2007 06:32 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Dulce Luna     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Ok, I'll do mine:

Planets:
Mercury-13.7%
Pluto-12.5%
Moon-11.7%
Neptune-11.2%

(Strangely I remember my neptune being first )

Signs:
Cancer-13.5%
Scorpio-13.3%
Virgo-11.6%
Pisces-10.7%

Elements
Fire-20.3%
Earth-25.4%
Air-16.8%
Water-37.6%

(no suprise water is the highest here)

Mode:
Cardinal-34.7%
Fixed-25.9%
Mutable-39.4%

(Hmmm, mutable at number one...not suprising either;I'm pretty restless)

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AcousticGod
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From: Pleasanton, CA
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posted March 07, 2007 06:56 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for AcousticGod     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
CrankyCap,

My top sign is Libra, which didn't make sense to me at first either, but in addition to having two planets in Libra I also have a stellium in the Libra-ruled 7th house. My Capricorn Sun comes in 4th.

Virgo as your second strongest sign probably means that in addition to whatever planets you have in Virgo, you also have some planets in the Virgo-ruled 6th house.

As far as feeling the "least Earth," it could possibly be that the Mercury energy of Virgo feels more manic than earthly. There's a certain hyperactivity to both Virgo and Gemini energies.

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CrankyCap
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From: Ohio
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posted March 07, 2007 07:06 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for CrankyCap     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Well ladies, at least now we have a clearer definition of what our strongest elements really are! Out of the 3 of us earth/fire/water girls, CK is the most "fiery," I'm the most "earthy," and Dulce's the "water" girl! LOL...maybe we could be the new Charlie's Angel's??

Funny too, that we're each dealing with a fire friend at the moment - and one of each sign too (Aries, Leo, Sag). Have you ladies found that in your friendships with women, you mostly attract fire signs? I have had some exceptions, but most of my close girlfriends have always been fire signs...and not one sign in particular either. All of them! However, I'm generally more attracted to earth or water sun men...with an occasional Leo or Sag thrown in, but those don't usually last very long.

AG - I thought about that, but what I found strange is that although I do have 1 planet in Virgo (Saturn), and two planets in the 6th (Sun & Mars), I still wondered why it beat out Leo?? I have Jupiter and Ascendant in Leo, as well as Mercury, Venus, and Neptune in the 5th??? Strangely enough, Leo even came in behind Scorpio...which baffled me as well. I have Venus and Uranus in Scorpio, and my moon in the 8th. So...this still confuses me a bit.

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SolarVirgo81
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posted March 07, 2007 07:08 PM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I'm a Sun Sign Virgo, but I have a LOT of air in my chart. So my chart elements are a bit of of whack:

Air-6 Fire-2 Earth-1 Water-1

Having a lot of air makes it easy for me to have an casual relationship, one with niceties, a bit of romance here and there, and small talk. Yet I don't really fully CONNECT with people beyond the mental level, if that makes sense. I have many acquaintances but few I would consider close friends. A lot of what Dulce and CrankyCap said rang true for me. I'm an independent woman who needs a lot of space in a relationship. I can't stand the type who feels the need to call me every minute to check up on me. I've had several relationships in the past with a variety of men. I've had a few who were fire/air, and and we got along fine. Yet after awhile, we would find new people and drift apart. I'm still friends with them, but the problem was that me and my airy/fiery exes were never CLOSE. We never had the sort of intimate, close-knitted relationships you see in the movies. However, I'm fine when a relationship is too rational...I'm in my own element, so to speak. But sometimes, I do feel that I want more emotional intimacy, more than what I'm getting from the other side. However, on the other hand, when I'm in a too emotional/irrational relationship, I wish for detachment and objectivity. Although I'm usually tactful, I tend to touch off a nerve on one of my really watery exes. I have done some tend to have longer relationships with water/earth men though with a personal planet in fire and air. It's as if they complete me. They're just the right balance for my tipped scales.

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babeefoxx
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posted March 07, 2007 07:17 PM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I get exactly what you are saying. I can never truly see eye-to-eye with someone. I always feel like I HAVE to negotiate. I have 6 planets in Fire , 5 in air , 4 in water and 6 in earth.
Let's say for instance, I'm naturally really sensitive and sentimental, even the smallest thing will make me upset and another person cannot see why I am so upset and remain baffled. I don't know if they lack water in their chart or if it's just me. I have the fewest planets in water, yet i'm emotional. I can say that I subliminally (or some how) triumph over people in a sense that my chart contains mostly cardinal signs. The fire consists of mostly Aries and Earth is all Capricorn except one position in Taurus, Venus. Any Air I have in Gemini and Libra(asc and 12th house) and 1 Aquarius and Water is Cancer. 2 Scorpio and 1 Pisces. I'm in the same boat as you. Like I said, I find my self negotiating most of the time with people or hiding my emotions. The best possible thing you can do is try and be honest with those you are with and have them try and understand you. Good luck none the less.

------------------
I'm just an Aries who's madly in love with a Virgo.
----------
S: Aries
ASC: Libra
M: Cancer

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AcousticGod
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From: Pleasanton, CA
Registered: Apr 2009

posted March 07, 2007 07:26 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for AcousticGod     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
CrankyCap,

Hmmm...well it sounds like you understand the idea.

I think I might know why it is that Virgo beats out Leo. Your Power Planets are the ones in Virgo or the 6th: Sun, Saturn, and Mars. I'm not sure how he came to assign those as the most powerful planets, but that's likely why they hold more weight.

I'm not sure about the Scorpio, though Pluto is the next power planet.

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SolarVirgo81
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posted March 07, 2007 07:26 PM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Wow, I never knew there was this chart before!

Planets:
Venus: 18.1%
Mercury: 10.2%
Neptune: 9.7%
Mars: 9.1%

Elements:
Fire: 25.1%
Earth: 16.9%
Air: 38.7%
Water: 19.3%

Signs:
Libra: 26.0%
Aries: 11.4 %
Aquarius: 8.0%
Pisces: 7.7%

(Virgo is #10, while the opposite sign, Pisces ranks 4th...Although I have nothing in Pisces! Just an interesting observation)

Modality:
Cardinal: 47.9%
Fixed: 28.4%
Mutable: 23.8%

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Dulce Luna
Newflake

Posts: 7
From: The Asylum, NC
Registered: Apr 2009

posted March 07, 2007 07:29 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Dulce Luna     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Yeah, I do have a problem with others invading my personal space but this relationship is sooooooo nice! What I meant also is that my gemini venus manifests in communication in relationships (I talk more if I'm with another person that I know then when I'm with a general crowd). And it also manifests in what kind of partners I choose (along with my 3rd house aries mars). I've also noticed that if in the past a "potential" or an ex "falls" in my eyes (morally or otherwise) then my feelings for them immediately stop and I start to forget about them. That's how strong my singleton is.


quote:
Well ladies, at least now we have a clearer definition of what our strongest elements really are! Out of the 3 of us earth/fire/water girls, CK is the most "fiery," I'm the most "earthy," and Dulce's the "water" girl! LOL...maybe we could be the new Charlie's Angel's??

Hehehehe

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libraschoice7
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Posts: 174
From: the city so nice they named it twice!
Registered: Apr 2009

posted March 07, 2007 07:31 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for libraschoice7     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
My Cancer ranked very high when I did mine(Moon being the prominent planet, no matter what) but I already have three planets in 4th house(a water house) as it is.

------------------
Sun in Libra
Moon in Cancer
Jupiter in Cancer
Venus in Virgo
Mars in Cancer
Ascendant in Cancer

I "FEEL" therefor I am

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SolarVirgo81
unregistered
posted March 07, 2007 07:39 PM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I wish I had more water in my chart instead of all this air. I wish I had the passion and strength of a Scorpio, the nurturingness(is that a word?) of a Cancer, and the compassion of a Pisces.

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InLoveWithLife
unregistered
posted March 07, 2007 07:41 PM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Do u guys need a bit of air ?

Elements

Fire: 13.1%
Earth: 21.0%
Air: 50.7%
Water: 15.2%

(Geez, talk about imbalance !!)

Signs

Libra: 19.2%
Aquarius: 19.1%
Gemini: 12.3%
Capricorn: 11.2%

(Gawd, I almost got confused about my sun sign here !)

Planets

Mercury: 14.6%
Saturn: 13.0%
Moon: 10.7%
Venus: 9.3%

*sigh* I wish I were a Sag Even Leo/Aries wud make me happy, just need a little more of tht fire A touch of Pisces wud be nice too

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libraschoice7
Knowflake

Posts: 174
From: the city so nice they named it twice!
Registered: Apr 2009

posted March 07, 2007 07:42 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for libraschoice7     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Heres some of my Moon energy...*splash splash* I have way too much water for my own good.

------------------
Sun in Libra
Moon in Cancer
Jupiter in Cancer
Venus in Virgo
Mars in Cancer
Ascendant in Cancer

I "FEEL" therefor I am

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