posted April 26, 2007 11:09 AM
Hey Shirty... thanks for the quick response, I appreciate it.My Chrion falls in his 7th. It's at 5 Taurus and his DC is at 2 Taurus.
I fell in love with him almost 3 years ago, I thought I had found The One... he has serious commitment issues and he really hurt and disappointed me. We met when I was separated from my then-husband. Well... I reconciled with teh husband and this guy went on and on about how he will regret stuffing things up for the rest of his life, blah blah blah... Well.. last year, I was getting divorced and I expected him to be over it, I honestly didn't expect the reaction I got from him.... truith be told, I never forgot him and I had spent the whole time trying to suppress my feelings for him and stop thinking about him... well... he heard I was getting divorced and just pounced. He tried to get me to move into his house, planned all this stuff, all these grand gestures... finally he told he he still loved me.
So... it all went to **** during the mercury retrograde. We stopped talking. I was so devastated I could hardly breathe. I think he talked it up so much that he freaked out again. We didn't talk until a few months ago. The crazy thing is that I has been spying on him the entire time... I had his email and myspace passwords and I was reading everything... well funnily enough... he was doing the same to me, keeping tabs on me in other ways too.
Anyway, he says all the other women meant nothing to him and that he thought I didn't want to be with him, he can't deal with rejection at all, so he tried to throw himself into this other relationship, but he just cheated on her and he does care about her and love her, but he's not in love with her and, honestly I don't know where he thinks this is all going, because I don't trust him as far as I could throw him.
I'm so not like this, but if I was going to be with him, I would be obsessively checking phonebills and keeping tabs on him, who he's with, what he's doing... and I can tell you now, I still wouldn't trust him and I would question everything out of his mouth. I don't want a relationship like that.
But I can't deny my feelings for him. I feel like I can't breathe just thinking about him and how in love with him I am. Despite myself, I sometimes catch myself mid-fantasy thinking about being with him.
And we have an uncanny psychic connection, I always dream whatever is coming next between us. It's so weird. When we weren't talking, I never had any dreams about him. As soon as I started dreaming about him again, stuff started happening.
I still don't see myself with him. I can't get passed the trust issue. And the magic is gone. Everything is in shades of grey, there is no more looking through rose coloured glasses and pretending he is anything but what he actually is... and a lot of what he really is, is not very nice at all.