posted May 29, 2007 08:42 AM              

i have a serious inner conflict in my chart. It has been pointed out here before by Shing Ray about my north node being in taurus/8th which is giving me the life lesson of learning trust within relations.

I'll explain my situation. I recently got back with my aqua gf after being apart for 6 months. We were together for a year but broke up last december because i just didn't trust her. I made up these assumptions about her fidelity and it led me to become that taurean rage that explodes and is uncontrollable. Anyway it pushed her far far away and she didn't try and reconcile so that made me think that my worst fears were becoming realised. Anyway after a long period of binge drinking and a very depressing christmas/new year i was slowly waking up to myself that my incredibly possessive/jealous nature is honestly destroying me from the inside out. I'm a very placid, kind person and my friends treasure me very closely but within my intimate relationships my insecurities unfold. After 5 months of trying desperately to get over her i wasen't making any progress. It's true what they say that it takes a taurus a long time to heal. I coulden't believe how sad i felt. One day out of the blue one of her friends called me and said that she needed wedding invite designs (i'm a graphic designer) so i agreed to help. One thing led to another and i ended up going out for a drink with my ex. We both agreed to meet and that we missed eachother very much. When we met it was just great, it's like a very extreme bi-polar connection. I cannot explain it. She is aqua and i'm taurus i don't see how it can gel. We are a 4-10 love match and everything i read is bad bad bad.

She said she wasen't over me and she missed me alot. She said she wanted to call and email me but didn't because i told her never to contact me again because i felt so betrayed. I was completely wrong ofcourse last time about my assumptions.

My friends all tell me to "go with the flow" but i can't seem to do this. She tells me to but i suddenly feel like i'm wasting my time because she is just going to pack and take off or meet some other guy.

I have just a few questions that if anyone can somehow answer i will be very greatful. I have no idea how to go about trusting her enough to just be happy within myself.

Is there anything in my chart or any transits that could be suggesting these major feelings of insecurity? Astrodientist says i'm going though saturn square moon until july? Also i have jupter in aqua in the 5th square my taurus in the 8th moon? Could this suggest the conflict?

Is there anything in her chart that could suggest that she may be unfaithful? She is very flighty and i feel like everyone shares the bed with us - friends etc. How can i tell if she's in love with me? Do you think the fact that she actually gave us a second chance to be something meaningful?
She can be very cool and distant but i think she has strong feelings for me? She says she likes me lots (her main compliment) but i kind of wish she would just say that she loves me, it would most likely settle my fears?

Here are our charts.
So sorry for all this mess i'm just honestly very distressed and need someone or something to point me in the right direction. =(

Tauro

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posted May 29, 2007 10:00 AM            

She's very friendly and open, but relationships...especially in the long term do mean a lot to her. She's got probably one of the most relationship focused (and ANY kind of relationship, friendly, business, romantic) chart's I've ever seen. I don't think a chart can tell if she's going to be unfaithful because in reality...ANYONE can be unfaithful.

You have a lot of questions. You should just go ask her. It's always better.

Your Pluto/Mercury opposition can manifest (and seems to be) as irrational fears/judgments about other people's motivations and thoughts. Also your Saturn/Moon doesn't help I'm sure...giving a fear of rejection/loss of dependency. Saturn can sometimes make us *push away* what may actually be good for us, only because we're afraid to take a risk.

And Taureans don't like risks...as a rule!!

posted May 29, 2007 10:05 AM            

The books that say all that crap about how Taureans/Aquarians don't mix are a bunch of hullabaloo to me. Yea, they have their differences but in my opinion, if the two parties in question are willing to work it out, then it *works*

I'm a Scorpio dating a Sagittarius. Astrologically, we have very, very little in common. All the books have told me it's pointless, it's useless...there isn't any common ground, no passion, nothing.

I'm not going to sit around and let a book dictate my love life and whether I find happiness. Sometimes you just have to toss the book, "the rules", and everything else to the wind and live through the experience because that is the only way we truly learn.

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"I eat success for breakfast-- with skim milk!"

posted May 31, 2007 04:50 AM              

i'm realising that jealousy really isn't worth all the energy and it's seriously soul destroying.

like say for example, last saturday i went out for my 22nd birthday and ofcourse we were all absolutely smashed drunk, one of my gf's friends said that one of my friends was really good looking. then shortly after that my gf starts dancing with him and being flirty. ofcourse it wrecked my night and i felt really sad and ended up kind of just dancing a bit then we all went home.

woke up the next day and didn't remember much. then my gf goes in the arvo that day, hey what starsign is your friend? and i said he a taurus also. and she said oh we get along great. she is in the same class as he is for night uni and on wednesday she went out to dinner with him and his friend to dinner but she said it was to celebrate finishing all their assessments. they have been in the same class since the start of the year and i recently got back together with her about amonth ago. am i looking into all this too much?