posted June 21, 2007 01:52 AM              

yeah having problems with my girlfriend again. I'm not convinced i can trust her.
She works.....ridiculous hours even when she dosen't need to. When we do spend time together, she talks about work all the time.
It's so frustrating when we hang out and all she does is talk about work work work. She works in real estate so she's always talking about these "systems" and new "training procedures" and it's just so annoying when you want quality time.

We've been back together for 2 months and things are already starting to go back to their old ways.

She's an aqua in mercury and sun, mars in libra, cancer moon and aries asc, venus cap.
I'm taurus sun, moon, mercury, mars in gemini, libra asc and venus in aries

Maybe it's just easier if i list the stuff i'm worried about...

She flirts heaps, she says she's just being friendly but even my friends say she's flirted with them, i asked her about it and she just started crying and saying "that's just great, your friends think i'm flirting with them, sorry for being overly friendly" yeah exactly, a little TOO friendly i think. She flirts alot when we are out and it makes me so angry especially since we don't see each other much...

We broke up last year, november, because i found a msn convo between her and her boss (who goto the gym everyday in the mornings together) that they had a thing for eachother. She was saying to her friend that "the attraction was out of control" and that "they are just going to go with it and see what happens." I've met the guy and he's a cocky guy, don't like him or trust him. He has a girlfriend but i have a serious suspicion that he and my girlfriend have plans for one another in the future, i have a feeling that i'm being played until that time comes along. Despite the fact that she says she wasen't over my after we broke up (we got back together in april). I've asked her about him and she just says "they are really good friends" but i can just sense the energy between both of them. He is the CEO of the company and will always be in the background. I highly doubt her feelings would of changed for him. Last year she said all that stuff in the convo a week before she started seeing me, a month later i found it and you can imagine how much it damaged my trust for her, hence how i'm having troubles!

I'm so lost as to what to do, i'm trying my hardest to trust her but she always talks about him and her work sometimes i just feel like a "fit in". I'm getting hurt and all my friends say i deserve to be happy. I have a feeling she is just going to work work work and when she is ready to be with her boss (who i discovered is a gemini), they will go for it, regardless of him having a girlfriend too.

I'm so sad but i love her.

Torn

posted June 21, 2007 02:29 AM              

Neither one of you is right or wrong. You just have different needs and expectations.

I'm an aqua and I understand where she's coming from. I also have a taurus ascendant, so I see where you're coming from, too.

Maybe you two should take a break. It seems as if you are both young, too. A young aqua is generally not ready for a serious commitment for some time.

posted June 21, 2007 02:47 AM              

Are you in general a jealous/suspicious person?

In other areas of life, do you find yourself being a little "paranoid" only to find you were overreacting?

If the answers are yes... then I say you need to work on this stuff but don't turn a blind eye on someone that's obviously capable of crossing lines. It could be both of you at fault here.

If your answers were no, then ask yourself:

How good, in general, are your instincts about people and situations? Do you usually jump to outlandish conclusions?

If you think you have good instincts and a level head, then I would say she's DEFINITELY trouble. The picture you've painted for me screams GET OUT NOW. But, you need to trust your gut instinct on these things. Don't stay because she's good looking and sounds great on paper and you're afraid you won't find someone as great as her ever again... because a woman with a wondering eye and a need for all males in a 100 mile radius to be into her is going to be NOTHING but a living hell.

But, maybe the MSN thing was a one time fluke, and she's just unintentionally flirty (with all your friends). Hmm... the gym with the CEO??? Really? Aside from all of that, how self-centered can she be with all the work talk and no ability to turn it off and tune into YOU?

What does your gut tell you about her, really and truly?

posted June 21, 2007 02:50 AM              

I think i'm lying to myself. I kind of wish we didn't get back together, i think i'm about to get very hurt again. I was thinking the whole 6 months i wasn't with her, was JUST about to get over her, started thinking about her less, accepting it etc but then she called me saying she missed me so much.

posted June 21, 2007 03:13 AM            

From an astrological standpoint, I would have a look at your composite. Do you have any hard aspects to Neptune? Those can indicate deceit, illusions, letdowns.

posted June 21, 2007 03:44 AM              

Sometimes i feel like just yelling "GO FIND SOMEONE AT WORK YOU CAN BE WITH THEN!!"

I wish none of this was happening. I just want to be happy =(

posted June 21, 2007 04:11 AM            

Sun Square Neptune

Be extremely careful with a relationship that has the square of Sun and Neptune in the composite chart. This aspect implies that the relationship tends to be unrealistic and impractical. In particular there is a danger that one of you will deceive the other, which could result in disappointment and disillusionment when this is revealed. No matter how beautiful the relationship seems at the beginning, there is a real possibility that it will end with a major let-down.

This aspect can mean that both of you are very unclear about what you are doing with your lives, not only together but as individuals.

A relationship with this aspect could possibly have a solid basis and a strong sense of spiritual union. That is the goal toward which you should strive, but first make sure it is a realistic possibility.

Mercury Square Neptune

With Mercury square Neptune in the composite chart, the two of you must keep yourselves firmly in touch with reality. Otherwise the effects of the Mercury-Neptune square will probably be quite devastating.

To begin with, this square makes it very likely that unconscious forces will have a great but hidden role in shaping your experience of this relationship, so that to an unusual extent you will see what you want to see rather than the truth.

The second effect of this aspect is to cause extreme confusion about the purposes and goals of your relationship. For example, an association that should be concerned with business might get mixed up with personal matters, or vice versa. Or a friendship may be hurt by efforts to make it a love relationship.

Another problem that can result from this aspect is unclear or willfully false communication between you: in other words, lying. Needless to say, when you eventually confront reality, it can be quite destructive.

If the two of you succeed in keeping your realities sorted out, you will be able to enjoy the benefits of this combination, which are acute sensitivity and awareness of each other's being and the ability to communicate without words.

Of course, it doesn't mean that she will lie or deceive you, just because you have these aspects in the composite, but it's something to watch out for.

If your feelings are deeply involved, you have to talk to her about everything. About your fears, your expectations, what she wants out of the relationship, what you want, where you see yourselves in 5 years time.

In my experience, honesty works wonders. And it weeds out the problematic folks. Sometimes it hurts, but someone that can't or won't talk openly... isn't good relationship material anyway. And trust me, I've been gutted by this type of person... just giving me little bits, pushing things in a certain direction and then running away when it gets too intense for them and leaving me holding the bag (and I'm the Aqua!). Better to have the talk and see where it takes you.

Nothing too heavy... just an open, honest talk about everything, tell her the last thing you want is to pressure her and you want her to feel like she can say anything she needs to and you value her as a person and you value her friendship above all... it should appeal to her Aquarian sensibilities and get her talking, lol.

posted June 21, 2007 06:18 AM            

Go catch your breath, think about what you really want. Get YOUR head and heart together in one healthy working machine, and then ask yourself if you still want to be with her.

posted June 24, 2007 10:25 PM              

i confronted her about her feelings for her boss. She reassured her that they are just good friends and if she wanted to be with him, she would be with him and not me. Quite blunt! I'm no longer worried about her having feelings for him anymore than friendship.

BUT

Something else has come up. My best friend who goes to university with her has me feeling suspicious about something going on between them. They have been in the same class since January, he is a good friend although there are things about him i don't trust, certain little things like he says stuff just what you want to hear eg: *you're my best friend and i'd always be there for you*, we've known each other for about 2 years. They talk all the time and i found a message on her phone from her to him while she was on the way to class.

It read "Hey babe, on my way now, did you bring your assignment, see you soon sex c =)"

Now, I'm not one to look into things toooo much, but that to me is over the line, even if they are friends. I'm trying to get some rock solid evidence before i go pointing fingers, but my gut instinct is that she only got back to me, only to get close to him!!!

I'm sure they've had some d&m chats, i think it got to a point where they both decided for her to get back with me because if they started getting together after i broke up with her i would be far more furious.

This way, she has the ammo to say "i gave you another shot but i'm sorry it isn't working" then get with my friend.

Jumping to conclusions? You should see the way they look at eachother. My friend also goes on about how much he hates "home wreckers" and then he said oneday, "you would go crazy if i brought your ex back here and nailed her hey" and i looked at him closely and said "yeah, i'd beat the living **** out of you no questions"

So i have a feeling they are both aware of eachother, i can tell there is something there. He is single, and lastnight i said, he needs to meet a nice girl don't you think and my gf said "yeah he needs a girl like me who is strong"

....riiight.....

This COULD all be in my head but my intuition has never let me down. I have a suspicious nature. They talk to eachother all day on then net. He has a lot of good looking girlfriends and i think my girlfriend wants to feel her ego boost of being able to win him over? He lives in the city and parties every weekend.

Another weird thing, when i went over to his place yesterday to hang out, he closed the msn window he had open to her straight away, no chat logs saved so i couldn't see what exactly they were talking about. He is very secretive and i can tell he knows things.

Again, i could be reading into this too much, but i know what she's like! FLIGHTY!!!

I'm SO sick of feeling like i always have to checkup on her. I feel as if i'm just waiting to get absolutely screwed over and lose a friend and the girl i love.

posted June 24, 2007 10:46 PM            

------------------
Sun in Libra
Moon in Cancer
Jupiter in Cancer
Venus in Virgo
Mars in Cancer
Ascendant in Cancer

posted June 24, 2007 10:52 PM              

In true taurean style, i've dug my heels in and won't budge. I think it will take infidelity for me to truly leave her.

posted June 25, 2007 12:21 AM            

HUGE RED FLAG!

posted June 25, 2007 12:29 AM              

I'm honestly really freaking out.
I need more evidence. **** i hate this **** !

I'm really really stressing out and scared.

posted June 25, 2007 12:53 AM              

I feel so BETRAYED and extremely angry.

Why would she bother getting back with me when she could of just been with him? She had been going to class with him 5 months before we got back together.

posted June 25, 2007 04:21 AM              

BUT, your friend switching off the MSN window quickly was very suspicious. That's more of a red flag to me than the text message. Again though, you can't say or do anything without proof.

All in all though, I know that Taureans need loyalty and security... and it's important for us to get that out of a serious relationship no matter how much we try to fool ourselves into thinking we can get by without it for a long period of time. It's part of our nature and I don't see why we should deny it.

posted June 25, 2007 04:40 AM            

That said, I stand by my comment. I think she's flirting with him. I don't know if she's ever taken it further or what her true intentions are. None of us can know.

Overall, I don't think she's a good match for you and will cause you a lot of heartache in the end. If you're going to be serious with someone, you really need to be with someone who has similar boundaries to you, because, let's assume the text message and everything else is completely innocent, BUT she never changes her behaviour and keeps doing things that upset you and make you insecure. In the end, it will probably tear the relationship apart, because if you haven't got trust in a relationship, you have nothing!

Personally, I would be uneasy. I would really try not to jump to conclusions and assume the worst though.

You have to talk to her. If you guys can't meet in th middle, if you can't stop being paranoid and upset and she won't stop being such a big flirt... how is this going to work? You really need to talk about it, as openly and as frankly as possible.

Also, I don't know how you will bring up the text message without her knowing you went through her phone. Most people would be very upset about that.

posted June 25, 2007 04:57 AM            

If you want my honest opinion, you should probably call it a day. You may love her dearly and she may love you back, but the truth of the matter is, that you're not being fulfilled at all by this relationship. In fact, you're being consumed by it and not in a good way. I've seen you post many times about your missus and it's not often positive news. Relationships are hard work but my god, love shouldn't have to hurt this much!

I say YOU end things with HER. Whether or not she's up to something is debatable, but I would say that she knows full well that she's in the driving seat where you're concerned and I dare say she probably takes full advantage of that.

I reckon that you should take back the power here, as I think you know in your heart of hearts that it's not working out. I know it's easier said than done (especially being a taurus!), but judging by what you've written on these boards in the past, you're startlingly unhappy and unsettled with this woman. You sound like a wonderful guy, with so much to offer and I think that there are many more woman out there that are far better suited to you this this lady. She may well be a nice gal, but someone that continually arouses your jealousy and suspicions like this is no good. Or if the problem is down to your own paranoia, then you probably need to take time out from relationships to work on that side of you anyway.

Good luck with whatever you decide to do - I have a feeling that things'll pick up when you stand firm on this - you're a double taurus, so there will be no defeating you!!!

posted June 25, 2007 06:21 AM              

I'm going to look like the loser when i end it.

I have no substantial evidence.

I don't like my friend anymore because of all of this, everytime i see him i get horrible pictures in my head.

This is going to CHANGE EVERYTHING.

I need to be single for a long time.

No more air signs, i need someone like me.

I have no idea how or when to end this.

She says that i'm patient enough to put up with all her **** , work, demands etc. But i've just run out of energy.

I'm emotionally exhausted.