posted July 25, 2007 08:09 AM              

Because my intuition is amazing and i can read people like a book in a flash, and because my aqua gf had her "one on one" business meeting today to discuss her new promotion package with her boss, and she because i overheard her on the phone to him in my bathroom when i got home from work saying such things as "i know, it would be too messy if we ever did"

I was led to the horrible path of opening some chat logs that she had on my computer from when she used msn, horrible i know, but i felt i had every right to protect and somewhat satisfy my curiosity once and for all.

Anyway i found this between her and one of her friends from back in February...

kate: What happened with the guy who originally head hunted you?
GF: aaron?
kate: yeppa that one
GF: we had to cool things off, attraction is without a doubt still there
kate: ahhh understandable...how hot did they get?
GF: yep understandable
kate: but we both agree that we are better off staying the best of friends and work together for the rest of our lives.
GF: otherwise will get super messy!!!
kate: noway good friends with his girlfriend then its completely understandable and respecting her is much more important.
GF: yeah i know so right, it has worked out really well!!!

(changed her name to GF for girlfriend so you know)

So this has led me to feel betrayed. In not ONE of her chat logs for 6 months leading up to april when we got back together, is there anything nice about me. just the "yeah we are probably getting back together".

anyway that's not the point really.

The point is, that she will ALWAYS feel more for this guy than me. She IS NOT committed to me. I can TELL she will never feel as strongly towards as she would if she were with him. I feel a jealous rage, betrayel and horrible thoughts come into my head whenever i even talk to her now.

I'm asking for your opinion.

Am i over-reacting.
Am i assuming the worst.

I've told her i love her so many times ans i get nothing but silence.

This boss of hers is always taking his girlfriend for a ride too, he's a GEMINI and 5 years older and the CEO of a real estate firm...

I really feel this is THE and i mean THE final straw.

I can't tell her i've been through her stuff because she would easily pin me on that. She's clever and sly, (cancer moon) manipulative.

I can't figure out why she came back to me. I can't be with her knowing she feels this way towards this guy "as she works for the rest of her life" with him.

I feel so hurt, betrayed.

posted July 25, 2007 08:22 AM              

If she's not honoring or treating you or even feeling about you the way you *deserve*, I would end it. I stayed with this guy who said those things about me and regretted it, the trust was never there after that. I should have kicked his ass out.

I'm to the point now where unless I'm a Queen to a man I'm just not interested.

I knew another Aqua woman with a Cancer moon who was married, she liked having the attention of men in general and even fooled around with her husband's friend while they were all drunk in a limo (she sitting next to her husband, the man was on the other side, and he was sticking his hand up her skirt fondling her. No one caught it. She seemed very happy about the situation, as if it was an adventure for her, and loved the attention.) I think the detachment of aquarius sun to OTHER people's feelings and the cancer moon who mostly just cares about it's own whims and feelings can be a devestating combination to be involved with for someone who truly wants a good intimate relationship. This woman also betrayed me at work, I worked with her and was sticking up for her and doing what I thought was the right thing - and she took sides with the person who was talking badly about her.

posted July 25, 2007 08:32 AM              

i have no leg to stand on.

she can easily argue she came back to me to bla bla bla and looked after me when i was sick and bla bla bla

SHE IS PLAYING ME and i could just TELL.

i do not trust her. i have a deep resentment now.

posted July 25, 2007 09:08 AM              

And this is how I would do it:

Act aloof like you're just ordering a tuna sandwich and tell her, "This isn't working for me. We're done. Best of luck to you in all you do."(don't worry, you don't have to mean it )

That way you can be done and get revenge at the same time without actually doing anything wrong. She'll be thrown for a loop if after all of your professions of "love" you suddenly go cold on her.

posted July 25, 2007 09:19 AM              

finally put it to rest and move on.

i need to find a nice cancer or scorpio.

posted July 25, 2007 09:57 AM              

i'm an extremely patient taurus, it all makes sense. but betrayel to a taurus is one thing you do not want to do.

i have posted a pic of me and her...my friends say i look soft whereas she has a flair...can you see it in our eyes?

posted July 25, 2007 10:21 AM            

Aqua sun, cocky, over self-confident, Cancer moon, leaning, clutching, posessive...emotionally insecure.

I get the feel of "my way or the highway, baby" from her.

posted July 25, 2007 12:02 PM            

Confronting her, and telling her you looked through her chat logs, will definitely **** her off. More so if you are right, and she DOES have feelings for this guy.

She's an aqua, so the whole "i love you" thing may overwhelm her, she may not know how to respond/react. Give her the benefit of the doubt with that.

My honest opinion: the fact that she talks about being "life long friends" with this man, is pretty telling considering she's an aqua. My boyfriend of half a year, I referred to as my "good friend", it's an aqua thing, friends first, lovers second.

I'd talk to her about it...

posted July 25, 2007 12:33 PM              

I know a lot of people like confrontation, but from my own experiences - confrontations with cheaters NEVER turn out favorably for the one cheated on.

It usually just gives the cheater an opportunity to give excuses, beg for forgiveness, or(if really manipulative) turn the focus from their rotten behaviour onto their mate. It hardly ever leads to the cheater giving a sincere apology, owning up, and changing their behaviour. And since Tauro has been through this before with her, I doubt it's going to bring about a favourable response from her.

Also, if he's a soft hearted person then her arguments, denials, manipulations, and/or laments may lead to him doubting himself, taking her back, and cause him to have to go through the same things over and over again.

posted July 25, 2007 12:38 PM            

Don't confront her, or get explanations from her, or have three-hour talks about the whole thing, or fight with her. Just end the relationship, quietly but firmly, and focus on things you love and are excited about.

For a Taurus, it's almost impossible to move on from a betrayal. The challenge for you now is to know that someone (probably lots of people--you look like a cutie!) will be able to love you and deserve your trust and loyalty. Keep your heart wide open. It's better to feel hurt and broken than to have a life with a closed heart, which is like being dead (and we fixed signs--Leo, Taurus and Scorpio, but even Aqua) tend to shut our heart down after a betrayal.

posted July 25, 2007 12:54 PM              

You seem a very nice guy and you deserve being with someone,who first of all,respects you and with whom you can have real trust.

I believe you can think you love her,but the real love of yours would never do to you what she did...

posted July 25, 2007 01:16 PM              

I feel somewhat defeated by all this, i really dug my heels in and tried, oh i tried so much i even went and saw my brothers friends who is a psychologist, he says i was one of the emotionally intune people he has ever met and to not compromise myself too much, which i have.

The confrontation will be very hard for me. She's very good at making me feel bad, or like i've been too demanding. But i honestly haven't. I've gotten opinions of all my friends and even just objective views, all say the scales are tipped in her favour to do something more in the relationship.

I can just see how it will unfold...just like last time. along these lines...

"i don't feel any emotional connection towards us at all."

"yeah well maybe some people have problems with their emotions"

"that's fine, i understand. But i feel i have proven my trust to you as a person and given you great circumstances in which to slowly open up to me" (this is where she always justs says the blank "whatever")

Also, i'll just mention that we have only had sex once since April. That's 4 months. Ask any couple and that just isn't right. Intimacy is part of any relationship and she always just has excuses. She dosen't even lock lips with me for more than 2 seconds and when she does its just when she's leaving to go somewhere.

So i am in a positon of emotional and intimate deprivation and i can't cope, i've lasted longer than most people would in my position i feel. My friends say "why are you doing this to yourself" i simply answer, because i'm stubborn and because i dont' give up easily. But i'm defeated now, she can have back her solitude.

So bottom line, no emotional empathy, connection or understanding from her towards me. Whenever she's down about work or whatever i'm always there, helping her through it. Then when i need help she's never there, i hear this is a typical trait of aquas to just let others problems slide...they will figure it out right?

When we do breakup, i will walk away feeling like i have done all the bad things. She will argue "i have to work so much and i fit you in and it's still not enough" or "your so demanding and serious" but really i'm not. I just need the basics which i'm not even getting.

Can you understand my frustration? She's very good at making me feel like the wrong one especially when it's a relationship problem. In the past i've thought to myself "is it really me? maybe i am too demanding or maybe it really was my fault"

posted July 25, 2007 02:20 PM              

You know I really love you and I am thankful that you came into my life, I have grown a lot and I have found out many things about myself I wouldn't have if it wasn't because of you, and I am sure you have too; but I have been doing a lot of thinking and we don't love the same way, even know we are very compatible in many ways we are just not compatible when it comes down to relationships and I have decided it will be best for you and I in the long run to let this relationship die.
You are a very ______ girl and i am sure you won't have any problems finding someone to love you and I just need to go back out there in the world and find the right one. I hope you can keep me in your life as a good friend because you know I will always be a friend to you"

posted July 25, 2007 02:40 PM            

------------------
Sun in Libra
Moon in Cancer
Jupiter in Cancer
Venus in Virgo
Mars in Cancer
Ascendant in Cancer

posted July 25, 2007 02:51 PM            

i don't think it's disloyal... a lot of aquas (definitely myself!) value loyalty and faithfulness. i'm so intolerant of cheating, it's unreal. even when my friends' relationships cheat, it completely ruins my relationship with them.

that being said, some peoples' concept of being loyalty is different. i have an aries best friend who is always involved in some dramatic fight, argument, disagreement, but i am a realist... if she is wrong or being immature and childish, i tell her that i don't agree with her. she thinks i'm being a "bad" friend by not siding with her. come on!

aquas are detached, they seem "cold" or "selfish" - well, that depends on how invested they are in the relationship.

if i were Tauro, i'd cut her lose in a heartbeat. the thing about staying really good friends with her boss (?) forever hits me as a bad sign. "friend" is too synonymous with "lover" in my aqua mind...

i don't do the "honey" or "sweetheart" nonsense...i call men i'm involved with "friend" or "buddy"... i think its an aqua security thing.