posted August 03, 2007 01:40 PM            

In your composite chart with H, do you have any sun-moon contacts? If you do, then you can at least have a very nice friendship with him. I know that really sucks since you want a romantic relationship with him, but maybe right now you two just aren't meant to be dating. However, people do grow and change over time. Maybe in the future, the attraction will be mutual.

Astrology doesn't predict the future. Notice that after a celebrity couple breaks up or after a horrible event occurs like a school shooting, astrologers look at the chart and say," Oh, yeah this aspect indicates that he was a very violent person and combined with that Pluto transit he killed those students." Or "this aspect is so tense that this couple broke up." However, I doubt these astrologers would be able to reach such definite conclusions before these events took place.

Astrology shows our personality and our raw potential, but our future is completely in our hands. Our birth charts don't control us; we control them. Hell, I've got a lot of similar aspects/placements to Hitler's chart, but I've never had the urge to commit genocide; in fact I'm very kind. I could've chosen to be a violent and sadistic individual, but I chose to be kind instead.

You are not doomed astrologically to never having any sort of relationship with this guy for the rest of your life. And I know H and your friend have a lot of great aspects, but this doesn't mean that if they date each other, the relationship will last. I know a lot of people who had great aspects in their synastry, but their marriage didn't last more than a few years.

posted August 03, 2007 02:08 PM            

Each of us has incredibly powerful synastry with hundreds of thousands of people on this planet we will never meet. It's true that the energy of that kind of synastry might make us "notice" or feel another person's presence more in the world. If that happens with, say, the me and the woman cleaning the subway station late at night, the relationship will be different than if it happens between me and my sister.

Astrology can be a useful tool for working with yourself (what yogis call "svayaya", or self-study.) You are using it to look for signs. Astrology can help you live your life more richly, but you are using it as a substitute for living. Take a step back! Right now, you're struggling with your 12th house Venus and Moon--self-undoing--you're hurting yourself in love before anything has actually happened to hurt you! These aspects don't mean that more pain will befall you than the average person, but that you might tend to take it harder, expand it, fantasize it and make it more central. You might tend to feel that something is "destroying you" that someone else would think hadn't even happened--you think the yucky outcome is "inevitable." Whereas it might not even have occurred to someone else! This guy isn't dating your friend...so you might as well have done his composite chart with--me. Or Ben Affleck. Or some other, less gorgeous pal of yours. You went LOOKING for signs of doom. And when we go looking for signs of doom or of miracles, we will find them. Because signs are not the same as self-knowledge and constructive work.

ADVICE: You, your crush and your gorgeous friend--all of us people in the world--are each entirely unique people. Love yourself, and live YOUR life to the fullest, even when you risk pain. That means to make the effort to get to know this guy you have the crush on! Touch his arm, smile at him, ask him questions, and see what it's actually like to know him.