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Author
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Topic: People raining on your parade
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GeminiLover75
unregistered
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posted November 06, 2007 11:21 PM
 
This is something that seems to happen to me a lot. As a Sag rising with Jupiter, sun and Mercury in my fifth (!) I just love having fun and being positive... but somehow I seem to be surrounded by people who are negative to me every time I'm happy. This seems to have really picked up it's pace in the last two or three years. Which makes it seems like it could be a Saturn transit. I'm 32, so it's possible this has been going on ever since my Saturn return. People in my family have always said things to me like "you can't do that" or been negative about things I want to do. It's always like NO, NO, NO, about things that are harmless and things that are no biggies - just things that I want to do and that would make me happy. Mostly I've just gone ahead and done those things and proved those people wrong. But these days I find that this kind of negative feedback gets me down more than usual, and it gets into my head so that I feel like whatever my idea was, was a bad one. I'm currently trying to shake this off and get back to my "I can do anything" mode of thinking no matter what anyone says. So I'm just wondering would there be any aspects to look for in my natal chart that might demonstrate that I tend to attract negative feedback? Or transits to my natal that would indicate why I'm not handling negativity very well lately? Here's my chart:  IP: Logged |
Azalaksh
Knowflake Posts: 982
From: New Brighton, MN, USA
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted November 06, 2007 11:44 PM
Hi GL75 ~All I see going on with Saturn, in a quick glance, is the applying opposition to Lilith/Vesta..... this is not necessarily an astrological opinion, but perhaps your perspective has changed since your Saturn Return??  You're not willing anymore to let your family's negative opinions hold you back -- although it still seems there's a tiny bit of guilt (??) about doing what you want to do and the heck with what they think. You say the negative feedback is getting you more down than usual right now -- well, is there any way to have less contact with these Professional Wet Blankets With Control Issues?? tChiron and tNeptune are in your 3rd house (brothers/sisters etc) and tUranus and tNN are in your 4th -- I'd say definitely some ongoing changes on how you view, approach and interact with your family..... I took a look at your progressed chart, and tSaturn is squaring your pSun..... tJupiter IS in your 12th house -- I think you may start feeling lots better when it crosses your Ascendant in December  Pluto in the 12th is not an easy placement (I have it natally) and tPluto is almost on your Asc  How do you think that one might be playing out in your life?? You were wondering if there are "aspects that attract negative feedback"..... my gut feeling is "No" -- I feel what we attract into our lives comes from 2 major sources: what we are feeling/thinking, and what lessons we need to learn. Thoughts Are Things. If you brood and dwell on the negative, that is what will fill your waking and sleeping hours. Remember my brother with the substance abuse issues?? That's an exact description of what's happening in his life: he expects the worst out of people, and since he's so bitter and hostile, that's what he experiences -- that's what he gets so that's what he gives, and on and on with the Vicious Circle..... IP: Logged |
Tigerlily
Knowflake Posts: 59
From:
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted November 07, 2007 12:02 AM
Natally, your Jupiter forms a t-square with Pluto and Saturn. That could also be part of the reason why you feel the way you do.IP: Logged |
GeminiLover75
unregistered
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posted November 07, 2007 12:14 AM
Thanks Zala! That's helpful and very accurate, I must admit.  I've tried to cut back my contact with the 'Wet Blankets', but they're close family and yes there is some guilt on my part. I've even tried to say to them that they're negative towards me but they won't admit it. So I get caught between feeling guilty for not doing what they want, and feeling guilty for staying away/cutting back contact so I can avoid the negativity. And it's kind of upsetting because I feel like their attitude about things is driving a wedge between us when I would like to have a harmonious relationship with them - but as they're constantly unhappy with my choices, it just drives me beserk. We are Pluto-moon family, it's generational, and so there are control issues that no one except me will admit to.Ew, tSaturn squaring my pSun... I didn't know that but it seems both yucky and relevant. I had thought that Jupiter going into my first house would possibly bring about some better feelings for me, so thanks for confirming that! Now that you mention tPluto, I think the closer it gets to my ascendant, the better I feel. It's also squaring my natal Pluto I think. I've had kind of a bad time in the last couple of years, and the closer Pluto edges to my ascendant, the stronger I feel. I'm less likely to stand for any sh*t, and I think this is the Pluto transit. I think it'll be transformative in a good way. The thing with the attraction of negative feedback, is that I've tried to be positive in order to counteract it but it hasn't really worked. I used to have positivity, but then it seemed like all the negativity got on top of me, and now I need to get back to my old self. Maybe I'll end up being more matured in my approach, who knows. Either way I want to emerge more positive. But like you said there's the guilt. Maybe I should get a Bach Flower remedy for that! This used to be my theme song before the evil Saturn Return.
http://nl.youtube.com/watch?v=yeduS1Du_qA It would be nice to get some of that attitude back again. IP: Logged |
jane
Knowflake Posts: 1277
From:
Registered: Jul 2009
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posted November 07, 2007 12:31 AM
"It would be nice to get some of that attitude back again."
Maybe you could start carrying a tambourine? It's hard to feel down with that magical instrument in hand. Plus, people with no sense of fun would steer clear.  I'm not good enough at astrology to comment on transits in general, but I can comment on something I have natally. I have Pluto in the 12th natally, and I think one way that placement can function is inner strength, an unwavering ownership of your own psyche and sensitivity to when others are attempting to control you. With it transiting your 12th and close to your 1st, perhaps you've determined what matters most to you and now you want to enact it in the world. People who stand in your way are going to be irritating b/c they're trying to deny you the power that you know you're entitled to. IP: Logged |
GeminiLover75
unregistered
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posted November 07, 2007 01:17 AM
lol! I just mentioned to Mr Gemini the other day that I loooooooooove tambourines!  Good point about Pluto. Very insightful! I think that's exactly the point I'm getting to. PS: I just asked Mr Gem if he'll get me a tambourine for Christmas, and he humbugged it. Bah. Maybe I'll get my own tambourine... or TWO of them. And shake them like this just to annoy him -->  IP: Logged |
Azalaksh
Knowflake Posts: 982
From: New Brighton, MN, USA
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted November 07, 2007 09:02 AM
GL75 ~Re: Cutting back on contact with the Wet Blankets –
Your situation is VERY similar to one of my good friends’ issues with her family, so I’ll relate it. She suffered physical/verbal/emotional abuse from her parents and brothers until she left for college, and since then they do the passive-aggressive routine of putting her in her place (when they’re not being outright derogatory). She has a Cancer Moon and longs to have a “normal” family life where the people involved love and support each other, not continually tear her down no matter how successful she is. She feels terribly guilty also, and we’ve worked on that for a couple years now. Over the years she’s tried her best to be positive when she’s with them, but it’s an enormous effort and an enormous drain. In a way, it’s a “psychic attack” – they will never stop pushing her to be what THEY want her to be, instead of supporting and enjoying who she IS. quote:
I've even tried to say to them that they're negative towards me but they won't admit it.
Yes!!! My friend has tried over and over again to tell her family how much they hurt her with their behavior, but they either ignore her completely or tell her she’s crazy or too sensitive.
You (and my friend) would like to have a harmonious relationship with your families, but at some point each of you may have to accept that it’s just not in the stars, and let them go their way. My friend has cut back on going to visit her family for the holidays, and although it’s tough being with friends (who are with their happy families) or alone, she has decided that it’s better than being “assaulted” in various ways by these people who are supposed to care about her. There is no valid reason that I can see for putting your feelings in the hands of people who do not respect them, respect you, or respect your choices. At some point you have to conclude that it's best to pull the plug and detach from them, or else just go into interaction with your family with all your shields up, deciding that you will NOT give them the power to affect you – YOU are fine, just the way you are!!  Zala PS: quote:
Now that you mention tPluto, I think the closer it gets to my ascendant, the better I feel.
Use The Power Wisely
ie, the Pluto-power to transform yourSelf and your perceptions/perspective, rather than wasting the power trying (in vain) to change others, or in wishing that others could "see the light".....IP: Logged |
BlueTopaz124
Knowflake Posts: 207
From: Portland, OR, USA
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted November 07, 2007 10:46 PM
You're so wise Zala! IP: Logged |
GeminiLover75
unregistered
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posted November 07, 2007 10:54 PM
So sorry that your friend has had to put up with all of that!  I realise that when I'm criticised it's because they're frustrated that I'm not living my life the way *they* would like. And that they think it's in my best interests to do so. What they don't seem to realise is that I'm doing my best given my own personal circumstances and tryyyyyying to do what makes me happy. And it doesn't help when they criticise Mr Gemini either. That he's not good enough, he doesn't earn enough money, he acts silly, he does this that and the next thing, his family SUCKS no matter what (even though my mother has pretty much refused to have anything to do with Mr Gem's family for over two years now, ie the whole time we've been together, so it's not even as if she really KNOWS ANYONE in his family)...  It drives me beserk, I tell you. I agree, that kind of thing *is* like a psychic attack. In fact, another example of negativity was when I felt like I was getting the flu and then my mother said to me on the phone that I would get a chest infection... I said no I won't... she said yes you will... and two minutes after I hung up the phone, bingo! Sore chest. I was sick for six weeks. I had to wonder who generated the most energy, her with her negativity, or me being too receptive and allowing myself to get that sick by the power of suggestion. :-|btw I also have Pluto square ASC natally... OH THE POWER... lol. I'm not sure if it's within a tight enough orb to also square my DSC, but I feel like I have already spent a lot of time doing exactly what you mentioned: quote:
wasting the power trying (in vain) to change others, or in wishing that others could "see the light".....
I have that drive inside me that says "If I don't help them change, no one will!". lol. Sometimes it's been very helpful. But yes... changing myself is unavoidable at this stage, given the upcoming transits. Jupiter will conjunct Pluto exactly conjunct my ASC... at the Galactic Centre!!! Next month!!! IP: Logged |
Geocosmic Valentine
Newflake Posts: 0
From: New York, NY
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted November 07, 2007 11:20 PM
GeminiLover75,You mention family members being wet blankets and saying negative things that bring you down. Well, transiting Pluto is also approaching a quindecile to your natal Saturn in your 7th house of relationships. A quindecile is an aspect measuring 165 degrees. It is as stressful aspect. When Pluto and Saturn make a stressful aspect it suggests extremely hard work and can result in loss. This is the second time in a year this aspect affects you. Did you experience some kind of hard work/loss around the end of December and through January to early February of 2006/2007. Your finances may have even been extremely and obsessively tight. Because Saturn rules your second house of self-worth/personal finances, I'm also thinking this might be the reason why people in your closest relationships are affecting your self-esteem with the things they are saying. Saturn is in your 7th house of relationships and it's making you feel even worse. **EDIT**(Some wrong & old info.) Those are some of my observations. I'm hoping this ends soon and that the hard work leads to positive changes for you. Geocosmic Valentine ------------------
"Everybody is a star!" Sly & The Family Stone IP: Logged |
GeminiLover75
unregistered
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posted November 07, 2007 11:26 PM
Interesting observations, Geocosmic. Thanks!
Ah, Saturn... isn't it awesome. My finances always seem to be tight, even when I'm earning good money. Like right now - all my extra cash is going into savings for a trip to Australia. And it's stressful because I keep thinking, "if only I wasn't going to Australia I would have all this extra money!". lolInterestingly I just realised that the tPluto-tJupiter-natal ASC conjunction I talked about is happening at the same time as I've planned to move out of this house. I've been looking forward to it for a long time because it means freedom, exciting new beginnings, and leaving behind old patterns and old relationships... so I think it's no coincidence that the conjunction happens on MY LAST DAY AT THIS HOUSE... ! IP: Logged |
Geocosmic Valentine
Newflake Posts: 0
From: New York, NY
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted November 07, 2007 11:33 PM
Yes, that Pluto is reflecting the pressures to move and I believe that Jupiter is gonna be what makes it feel like a reward and/or just expand the pressured feeling of "I GOTTA MOVE NOW AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME!!"It's good to hear that this is all ending in a vacation, how wonderful for you. It looks like you've been dealing with relationship stuff just about since 2002 or 2003, that's why I edited my post about transiting Saturn, it's not squaring your Sun, it's trining your Sun. The square was round the 2003. Have a great time, you deserve it. You've done a lot of work, and I bet that's what that Pluto quindecile Saturn is suggesting, the hard work and tight savings for that move and that vacation. Geocosmic Valentine ------------------
"Everybody is a star!" Sly & The Family Stone IP: Logged |
GeminiLover75
unregistered
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posted November 08, 2007 02:52 AM
quote:
Yes, that Pluto is reflecting the pressures to move and I believe that Jupiter is gonna be what makes it feel like a reward and/or just expand the pressured feeling of "I GOTTA MOVE NOW AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME!!"
True on both counts! I am getting excited about the whole move and then the trip. I've felt like I've been in jail the last year or so, so this has to be a good move. Oh and yes, relationship stuff. Tell me about it. I don't think I've had one completely smooth sailing relationship with ANYONE for years now. Saturn is transiting me and Mr Gemini's composite 7th house and he's driving me beserk right now. IP: Logged | |
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